Gilded Agony

by K. A. Merikan

  But as Seth drove the car along the dirt road and past the huge bulk of the main house, he realized that there was one piece of information he did have. Diego had been sent here by Moreno, guided into Domenico’s house by Nero himself. Surely, there would be consequences if the leader of the Caimans found out his man died while in Domenico’s care.

  So Seth took his tedious job to the one place that no one ever saw, the strip of land between the borders of the entire property and their family home. When he arrived at the gate and the headlights licked Lilli’s twisted remains, he had no tears left and was only glad that no one had found the body in the meantime. He simply added the job of dealing with her too to the list of his tasks.

  The growing pain in his muscles was a welcome distraction from the dull, insistent thoughts gathering in his head, but when he dragged Diego’s body out of the car, he still yelped at the touch of the hand sliding out of the sack, as if to grab him. Not long ago it had slid into Seth’s hair to hold his head still, and later Diego pushed his thumb into Seth’s mouth, as if only to see how pliant Seth was.

  Was it too late to question his own actions? Should he have handled things differently? Just attacked, consequences be damned?

  Heat exploded in his skull and spread through his limbs, like an itch that couldn’t be cured by anything but time. He grabbed the knife and cut Diego’s thumb off no matter how useless that now was. Diego couldn’t touch him anymore. Diego was dead.

  Leaving the headlights on, Seth took a shovel from his garden shed, and proceeded to dig. Digging was good. Tension was still present in his muscles, in his chest, clenching his throat, but at least there was something for him to do. Something that would make a difference.

  Seth scowled when he heard another car approach, wary of anyone new finding out about what had happened. Would he have to get rid of them too? He would if push came to shove. He’d do anything in his power to take some of the weight resting on Domenico’s shoulders.

  He stepped forward, gripping the shovel a bit harder, but his shoulders slumped when he recognized Miguel behind the wheel

  “I said I’m fine. I don’t need to be checked on. I can handle this.”

  Miguel slid out of the car, also leaving the lights on, and approached the shallow hole Seth had dug up with a shovel of his own.

  “I have nothing better to do,” he said.

  Seth gave a deep sigh, pushing the shovel into the dirt and resting some of his weight on the tool when tiredness suddenly overcame him. “There’s another body. He murdered Lilli.”

  Miguel missed a step and stumbled, using the shovel as a crutch. His three-legged shadow did a ritual dance in the ghostly white light, about to cast Diego’s soul to the depths of hell. “He what? Lilliana? Natalia’s daughter?” For the first time in a while, Miguel looked not angry, not worried or irritable, but distressed.

  Seth got himself a cigarette, because this was all becoming too much. He hadn’t even known Lilli wasn’t her full name. “Motherfucker. Used her like she wasn’t even a human being.”

  Miguel’s features hardened, and he clenched his fists in empty anger that could no longer change anything. Was he thinking of his murdered sisters? “Does Natalia know?”

  “No, it’s only happened an hour ago. I—” Seth took a deep inhale of smoke, already embarrassed of what he was about to say. “I need to ask Dom what he wants to do about this.”

  Miguel’s voice was low and steady when he spoke. “You are not burying her with the scum who murdered her. You are not dissolving her in acid, and you are not lying to Natalia about it.”

  Seth exhaled the smoke, angry that he’d have to come up with answers once his cigarette was finished. “Then I can’t bury her yet,” he whispered. This was the price of the life they led, and Seth wouldn’t be shying away from it anymore. If he’d known more about Diego from the start, none of this would have happened. Maybe other horrors would have, but at least he’d have had more agency.

  Miguel shot him a glare full of anger and started rapidly removing dirt from the dip in the ground, as if the knowledge of Lilli’s end injected his muscles with intent. “This wouldn’t have happened if it wasn’t for Moreno. He was the one to send this piece of human trash to us. Who knows? Maybe causing chaos was his purpose all along?”

  Seth frowned but resumed digging without a word. Maybe it had been Moreno’s intention. Fuck knew. From the very vague and sparse information Seth did have about Diego’s actions since he’d arrived, he’d been quite useless to Domenico.

  They kept on digging in silence that was both welcome and uncomfortable. At least Miguel didn’t know that the bruises on Seth’s face hadn’t been left there by Diego. At least no one but him knew the whole story of what happened. Seth would bury the truth with Diego’s body, and it would never have to surface.

  Seth and Miguel had worked in silence for what felt like hours, but by the time the sun lit up the sky, Seth was exhausted and alone. As soon as Diego was gone from the face of the earth, and Lilli moved into a chest fridge to rest until her fate could be discussed, Seth took a long shower that felt more necessary than any other in his life.

  He remembered the night he murdered his first man. The fresh blood had stained his skin and soul alike, and he’d wanted to run, flee to the ends of the earth where he wouldn’t have to ever commit this kind of atrocity again. Back then, Domenico wouldn’t let him. He’d followed Seth, and washed him clean in the cold waves of the sea.

  This time, Seth needed to deal with the mess himself, and it was strange to realize how much he’d changed. He wasn’t about to run or collapse into tears. There was a job that needed to be done, so he dealt with it. He wasn’t disgusted with the bodies or afraid of the blood in his hands. When his family’s safety was at stake, he could be either a battering ram or a thick steel wall.

  Maybe there really was no escaping the Villani blood in his veins?

  Despite the horrors of the night, once the early morning began, he craved the tiny bit of normalcy his home provided, and he went to the garden to feed his chickens. Here, surrounded by his little Borgia family, Seth could pretend that nothing bad had happened, and that a bit of soap and water was enough to remove the stench of death from under his fingernails.

  He flinched when the gate flung open in the distance. With a blanket pulled close around him, Seth watched his birds feed in a lazy dance around the large metal bowl. It wasn’t even sunny yet, and the pinkish hue of the light made the fear of confrontation that bit more bearable. If only he could stay in this bubble for a while longer while the house slept.

  Despite his worry for Domenico, for once he wished he could lick his wounds in peace. Maybe if he stayed still enough, Domenico would fail to notice him and go straight into the house. But he wasn’t meant to be this lucky.

  Like a hawk, Domenico turned as soon as he spotted Seth. In the bright morning light, his gaze was as haunting as it had been last night. He was shirtless under an open hoodie he must have borrowed from Quincy, and the white dressing made the hue of his unbruised skin seem even paler. Without the blood and grime, Domenico still looked nothing like his usual determined self.

  “There’s blood on the gate,” he said in the end, after standing in front of Seth for a couple of seconds.

  Seth watched him, unsure if he knew the man in front of him any longer, but he was done with lies. “He killed Lilli. Used her as a decoy so that I opened the door.”

  For a moment, Domenico remained expressionless, but then stormed toward the nearby flower bed and kicked a small rosebush, sending petals into the air.

  Seth swallowed hard and went on, “Miguel insisted that we don’t bury her with Diego, so I put her in the chest freezer for now.” So much for a gentile lifestyle where they all pretended nothing bad ever happened in their home.

  “Fuck,” hissed Domenico before approaching Seth in fast strides, as if his injury had magically disappeared.

  Seth tensed in an instant, ready to avoid a punch
if necessary. His face was battered enough. From the corner of his eye, he saw Domenico stop in front of the chickens, which were far too taken by their grains and pieces of torn ham to even notice a new presence nearby.

  “How did it come to this?” Dom asked after a prolonged silence that had Seth’s heart in slices.

  “I don’t know… Maybe Moreno sent him here on purpose? Why would he offer you the help of someone so incompetent otherwise?” Seth pulled the blanket closer around himself.

  Domenico let out a broken groan. “You’re not taking any responsibility, even now? Why? Why would you do this to me, Seth?” Domenico asked, stuffing his hands into his pockets. There was no point in pretending Seth didn’t know what the question was about, and at this point feigning complete innocence wouldn’t have been fair either.

  But one thing he couldn’t do—stand straight and confront the grief that had overcome Domenico’s eyes like cracks on a glass bowl about to fall apart. It would have been too much to bear. “I don’t know, Dom. I knew it was wrong to flirt with him, and then I got swept up into the excitement of it. The danger. You don’t let me do anything. I’m suffocating. You wouldn’t even let me ride a fucking horse, ‘cause ‘I might fall and break my neck’!”

  It was as if Seth could already feel the tremors of Domenico’s anger under his feet, seconds before it erupted. He braced himself for the impact, but even years spent at Domenico’s side couldn’t have prepared him for the tense, mask-like expression on that beloved face.

  “I gave you everything you wanted! You wanted peace and quiet? I gave you this home. I kept you safe, and away from all the dirty work that still stains my hands. I got you any fucking thing you wanted. Ayam Cemani chickens, Murgian burrata, Carrara marble countertops, and even the fucking crossbow. My whole life revolves around you!”

  “It doesn’t! You’re never there anymore! We live separate lives. I don’t care if I have a marble countertop or a particular type of tomatoes. I don’t want things from you!”

  Domenico’s face twisted into a grin that belonged on the portrait of a demon. He spun around with his hands spread. “Oh, you don’t need any of this then?”

  Seth dropped the blanket and reached out to Domenico’s shoulder, but he barely touched it. “Come on… You know what I mean. I appreciate it all, but I don’t need it from you.”

  Domenico’s gaze was unfocused when it met Seth’s, but then it flashed with something that Seth had seen last night in eyes way darker than Dom’s. The Beretta shone in Domenico’s hand, its cold-hearted muzzle pointed straight at Seth’s beating heart.

  “How could you? I don’t fucking understand. You promised yourself to me, but now I see it was all worth nothing. You need more excitement. A man who doesn’t just give you whatever you ask for.”

  Seth swallowed, and it seemed that all the bullets in Domenico’s gun had his name on them. This was it. Domenico wouldn’t understand, wouldn’t listen, and wouldn’t forgive Seth for what he got himself into. Always knowing what he wanted, always decisive, Domenico couldn’t possibly understand Seth’s messy brain.

  “I am still yours.” Seth held his left hand in front of the gun, wordlessly daring Domenico to shoot the wedding band off along with the ring finger.

  Domenico blinked several times, and his throat worked, swallowing over and over. “There’s no excuse for you flirting with him,” he said in a tight voice.

  “Go on then.” Seth spread his arms in frustration. His heart ached so much he just wanted it to stop. He wanted something to happen and end this unbearable guilt.

  The safety clicked, Domenico took a step closer, his amber eyes burning with liquid fire, but just as the inevitability of what was to come passed through Seth’s mind, Domenico turned the gun away.

  Bullets exploded out of the muzzle in a short sequence that sent the burning smell of gunpowder into Seth’s face. The cries of chickens clawed at Seth’s heart, and he knew what happened even before he looked at the pen, transfixed by the cruelty on Dom’s face.

  “No!” The scream came out from somewhere deep within Seth, and he fell to his knees, already more devastated than he’d ever imagined he’d be. “They did nothing!” Feathers still floated in the air when tears streaked down Seth’s cheeks. He couldn’t fathom this carnage.

  “You said you didn’t need anything. If you hate our home so much, maybe you should move out so that you don’t have to see my face anymore. The motel by the harbor will have everything you need,” Domenico said in a hard, emotionless voice.

  There it was. Domenico didn’t want to just kill him. He wanted Seth to suffer first. There were no more words Seth could find which wouldn’t end up with him sobbing, so he stayed silent, accepting his fate and the numbness that had finally overcome in his body. The steel rings surrounding his cock pulled on flesh, as if to make him even more miserable.

  “Dom, you have the key to…”

  Eyes flared at him, their color almost reddish in the morning sun, and for a tense moment, Seth feared he would be left to deal with this shame on his own until he could find someone to cut through the padlock. But Domenico pulled out the little key out of his wallet and without a word, he tossed it at Seth.

  Somehow, that felt even worse than not having a way out of the contraption.

  No matter how much Seth wanted to, he could never take back what he’d done. Domenico would never trust him again, and staying around each other would only end up with one of them dead.

  Chapter 19 - Domenico

  Domenico had no idea Angelica fed the chickens with Seth almost daily. Lying had never felt so bad than when looking into her huge, innocent eyes.

  “The chickens… they’ve moved.”

  She pulled on Domenico’s hoodie with a little whine. “No! Where?”

  Domenico briefly met Giulia’s eyes, and they held no love for him. “Oh, you know, they have been with us a bit long. We will adopt new ones.”

  “Papa Seth do that?” she asked, balancing on her heels in front of him.

  Domenico’s throat clenched, as if there was something physically blocking it, and he pulled Angelica to the sofa, unsure what to tell her. She spent way more time with Seth than she did with him. It was obvious she would be asking for Seth, completely unaware of all the ugly, foaming vitriol that had erupted beyond the soundproof walls of the nursery last night.

  “He’s looking into it. Come here. I’ll do your hair.”

  She gave a happy squee and climbed into his lap, but he then sat her on the stool by the breakfast bar. Giulia sipped her coffee nearby, watching him like a hawk, as if she worried the bruises on Domenico’s knuckles were a prelude to him putting his hands on Angelica next.

  “Make aya!” Angelica demanded, using a made-up word for braids.

  “Yes. Yes, that’s what I was going for,” he said and gently combed her hair with a bright pink brush. When she faced away, the forced smile dropped off his mouth, and it felt like relief.

  Seth’s absence weighed heavily on his heart, because, all of a sudden, the vast rooms downstairs seemed empty and lifeless. Whenever Domenico had come home, fresh scents and warm arms had been there to greet him, soothe the fears he didn’t want to express, and charge his batteries.

  Today, he felt alone despite the sweet girl sitting right next to him.

  “I make cheese,” Angelica informed her nanny, unable to sit still, already a ball of energy for the day. The bit that she hadn’t said was ‘with papa Seth’.

  Giulia smiled, but Domenico could sense the stab to his guts coming before she even opened her mouth. “That’s lovely! Isn’t papa the best? Teaches you so much every day.”

  Domenico’s lips tightened. “Yes, your papa is the best cook I know. And I’m sure he left us plenty of food to last while he’s away.”

  Angelica laughed, turning to Dom so abruptly the braid he was working on slipped out of his grasp. “So much food!”

  “Let’s just hope we don’t have to use all the chest freezers,
” Giulia said, making Domenico break out in sweat.

  Was she implying that she’d seen Lilli’s body? They couldn’t lose the nanny right now. He quickly finished Angelica’s braid with a little bow pin and picked up a Disney-branded mirror to show her how she looked.

  “Yes, baby. Papa is very resourceful,” he said, more blandly than he’d intended. Would Angelica notice the bad blood between him and Seth once Seth came back? It would surely stress her out.

  “Can I feed Mark?” she asked as soon as he helped her off the tall stool.

  “Your brother is probably still asleep, Angelica,” Giulia said and put down her cup. “How about we go water the plants?”

  Domenico let Angelica slip out of his arms, somewhat relieved. He usually didn’t mind her squealing voice, and he loved being around her more than he’d ever imagined he would, but right now he felt so empty that keeping up the positive facade for her benefit was becoming too much. He waved off his girl and leaned back into the sofa, listening to her conversation with Giulia in the distance.

  His body felt impossibly heavy and slack, almost as if it was to turn to goo any moment and start seeping into the cushions, but thirst became too much and he ended up padding to the kitchen where he would surely find a whole array of refreshments. Because Seth always made sure their cupboards were well stocked. Each bottle, each herb pot was a reminder of Seth taking care of them. Of him. They were expressions of love much more important than words or promises could ever be.

  So why had Seth flirted with another man? Even if he was telling the truth and kissed Diego to buy himself some time, he didn’t deny any of the fuckery that had been happening behind Dom’s back since Diego’s arrival. Domenico had noticed nothing, but was that really his fault?