by Elle Rease
He smiled and rested his forehead on hers. “Keep going.”
“I don’t have many regrets in my life, but I hate the way I acted that night. I hate that you left because of me, and the things I said. If I could take all those fights back, I would. You don’t deserve to be treated that way. You mean so much to me, Bren.” She didn’t wipe her tears away. She wanted to bare her soul to him, like he’d done for her. “I really, really want a baby with you. I’m sorry that I go a bit crazy in the process. I’m sorry about the fights. Most of all, I’m sorry I never talk to you about my insecurities and that I lash out when you don’t deserve it. I love you, Bren, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you.”
“You know what it’ll take.”
She pulled a face, happy that she got a soft laugh for her troubles. “Talking.”
“Start now.”
“Wow, you want to go really deep today.”
“Yeah, I do,” he grinned.
She burst out laughing and kissed him for a moment. “Later, babe,” she whispered on his lips. Then she leaned back and raked her fingers through her hair, wondering how she could put this into words. “I think I feel guilty that, after everything I’ve put you through when we weren’t together, things aren’t easier now that we are. Having a baby shouldn’t take years, and it definitely shouldn’t take another woman in the mix in order to get pregnant. I can sense how much I mean to you, but I somehow put this pressure on myself to be even more, and then I fail because I can’t give you a baby. And I can’t be graceful about it, either.”
“You don’t have to be.”
“I know, you’ve explained that pretty well.”
“Do you get it?”
“In a way, yes. That’s how I feel about you.”
He wrapped an arm around her and shifted them so they were laying down, face-to-face. “No more thinking I’m having affairs?”
“I’m not even going to think that you’re considering it,” she promised.
“And no more thinking that you have to give me a baby?”
“That point is moot now that we’re having one, anyway.”
He rolled his eyes, although he was still smiling. “Fine, let me rephrase: no more thinking that you have to give me another baby?”
“Agreed.”
“And, if you do think these things, you’ll talk to me?”
“Until your ears bleed.”
“That’ll be a happy change,” he laughed.
She was so in love with her husband, and grateful that he’d brought her here. Even these few hours away from the club, her friends, family and Tessa, was making the biggest difference already. She liked having him to herself.
“Can we do this more often?” she asked, nuzzling her nose against his collarbones.
“How often?”
“I don’t know, once a month?”
“Are we becoming one of those married couples who need date nights?”
She smirked. “Yes, definitely.”
“Okay, I think we can make a plan.” He tucked her hair behind her ears and kissed her forehead. “I like this, too.”
She glanced at the sun. It was still relatively high in the sky, but she didn’t know how much time they had. “When do we have to be back?”
“I invited our folks over for dinner. I figured we could show them a picture of their grandson. Tessa will be there, of course.”
“Teagan and Piper?”
“I could call them on the way home.”
She snuggled closer, hooking her leg over his hip. “Do I have to cook?”
“Nah, our mothers said they’ll feed us.”
“Good.” She wasn’t imagining him getting harder. His fingers had slipped under her skirt to stroke the top part of her thigh, and she closed her eyes. “So, you’re saying that we’ve reconciled, we’re all alone on a picnic blanket, and we don’t have to hurry home?”
His fingers found the edge of her silk panties. “Aye, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”
“Hmm, if only we could think of something to do to pass the time…”
Brennan chuckled darkly and pushed her onto her back. He nibbled on her bottom lip and stared into her eyes. “Aye, if only.”
“You know, something that doesn’t involve clothes.”
“One step ahead of you, lass.”
He straightened and took his patch and shirt off, giving her a chance to marvel at his tattoos. Her name over his heart had such greater meaning now that they’ve cleared the air. She bit her bottom lip and lifted the edge of her shirt to expose her stomach, touching her right hip.
“I want your name here,” she murmured.
His gaze darkened. “Really?”
“Yes.”
“Jesus, Cin, I’d love that.”
“Good.” She pushed her panties down to her knees and he took over from there. “I think it’s time for the sex you promised me.”
He loosened his pants and shoved them down, revealing his erect cock. “You’re right.”
Like so many times before, she welcomed him into her embrace and her body. And, like so many times before, it was even better than the last time they had joined.
Chapter Twenty-Six
“Teagan and I have been trying.”
Cinnia raised an eyebrow at Piper. “Oh?”
“Yeah,” Piper replied with a soft laugh. She ran her fingers through her curly, honey-colored locks. “We wanted to wait until you had a baby on the way.”
“How so?”
“I don’t know, respect? I know it’s been hard on you, watching other people have kids.”
Cinnia shook her head with a smile. “I appreciate the thought, but you shouldn’t hold back because of me.” She gave Piper a sideways hug. “And, how are your plans going?”
“I’m not supposed to say.” Piper bit her lip to hide a smile, failing dismally. “I’m two months along.”
Cinnia shrieked, attracting the attention of everyone else in the room. “You’re kidding!” she exclaimed, jumping up and down.
Piper blushed and shook her head. “Nope, not kidding.”
“This is great news!” Cinnia grabbed her sister-in-law’s hand and, together, they danced in a little circle. “Congratulations!”
“Thanks, Cin,” Piper giggled.
“Care to share the news?” Byron called from across the room.
“Piper and Teagan are having a baby!” Cinnia declared theatrically.
Loud cheers erupted in the clubhouse, where Brennan had decided to throw a huge baby shower for Cinnia and, to an extent, Tessa. Ever since Cinnia’s attack, Brennan’s gone out of his way to keep most of the Raptors social gatherings as unisex as possible, for safety reasons. As a result, the ties that bonded the MC simply got stronger: everyone was reaping the rewards.
Teagan, who was standing with Nixon and Byron, blushed deeply as he was patted on the back for his good efforts.
“Logan’s going to grow up with his cousin!” Cinnia sang to an embarrassed Piper. “This is so awesome!”
“It’s going to be great,” Dawn agreed. “I love that there are always little kids around!”
“Speak for yourself,” Jemma laughed. “When you’ve gone through enough tantrums to make your eardrums burst, you kinda wish for the quiet and withdrawn teenage years.”
“Soon, I’ll know what that’s like,” Cinnia said, excitement buzzing in her veins. Sometimes, she still couldn’t believe that she was actually going to be a mother.
Jemma grinned widely. “You’re already such a kickass mom, Cin.”
“Where’s Tess, by the way?” Cinnia glanced around, a little worried when she couldn’t spot her surrogate straightaway. She breathed out in relief once she saw Tessa was keeping Farrah company. “Hey, has anyone else noticed how close those two seem lately?”
“Well, they have so much in common,” Dawn reminded her best friend. “I mean, they both went through a Goth phase during school, and they have similar taste in music.
”
“No, I think it’s more than that,” Piper said. “They’re always texting each other when they’re not together.”
Cinnia raised an eyebrow. “Do you think Farrah’s…?”
“Curious?” Jemma supplied. “Who wouldn’t be? Tessa’s gorgeous.”
“It has to be more than that, or they should stop it now.”
“Whoa, Cin!” Dawn giggled. “Overprotective much?”
“The woman is carrying my boy. Of course I’m overprotective.”
“You should ask her,” Jemma suggested.
“I’m glad you think she needed the motivation to snoop, now that the seed of suspicion has been planted,” Mysie sniggered, appearing out of nowhere.
Cinnia, who was accustomed to her mother-in-law’s ninja ways, didn’t even flinch. She couldn’t say the same for her friends, who jumped as if they were being electrocuted. “I’m not half as bad as you,” she joked good-naturedly.
“Yes, you still have a lot to learn. Excuse us, ladies.” Mysie linked her arm with Cinnia’s, dragging her away from her group. “I’m not worried, though: you’ve always been a fast learner.”
“Should I be scared, now that you’ve isolated me like this?” Cinnia teased.
“You should always be scared when I single you out.” Mysie waggled her eyebrows. When she was like this, Cinnia could see where Brennan got his mischievous side. “You never know when I’m going to dump your body in some alleyway, never to be found again.”
Cinnia smiled and shook her head. “I’d like to see you try.”
“Aye, you’re right,” Mysie said, sighing dramatically. “If I wanted to kill you, I would’ve done it by now.”
“Why haven’t you?”
“You make my boy so happy.” Mysie glanced at her son, fondness burning in her eyes. “You two are great together. And now, finally, you’re going to have a baby. I could never harm you, Cin, not even when I was convinced you were no good for Bren.”
Realizing that this was going to be a serious conversation, Cinnia sobered her facial expression. “Is something wrong, mom?”
“No, not at all,” Mysie responded. She sniffed her tears away. “I’m just happy that Bren’s got what he always wanted. Soon, you’ll know how important a child’s happiness is to a mother.”
“I think I already have a feeling.” Cinnia shook her head with a soft laugh. “I scare myself when I think of what I wouldn’t do to make sure he’s safe.”
“You’d go to hell and back.”
“Exactly.”
Mysie’s facial expression brightened. “Well, let’s not get so down and out about what we won’t do for our kids. We should—”
“Mom,” Cinnia interrupted. She hesitated, eyeing Mysie and briefly wondering if this was a good thing to share. “I’m sorry if hurting Bren all those years ago hurt you. I’m sure I’ll have some sort of blowback if Logan gets his heart broken.”
“Ah, how the wheel turns,” Mysie murmured thoughtfully. Then she laughed. “Cin, I sided with Bren because he’s my son, not necessarily because I approved of his decisions. I pushed that boy out of my body and taught him how to shit by himself, but sometimes I feel like I don’t know him at all. And, frankly, I probably would’ve murdered Reade if he’d done to me what Bren did to you.”
Cinnia raised her eyebrows in surprise.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Mysie grumbled. “Bren was messed up when you wouldn’t let him explain or redeem himself, so I had reason enough to hate you.”
“Noted.”
“Don’t ever let him walk over you again, though.”
Cinnia smiled. “I won’t, and he knows it.”
“Good.” Mysie looked away. “What’s with you and Byron? I’ve been meaning to ask.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re very involved in his life.”
Cinnia shrugged and turned her gaze to the man in question. “He’s like a brother to me. I think, because of the attack, we’ll always be close.”
“Sometimes I wonder if you don’t have a hero-complex.”
Snorting, Cinnia gave her mother-in-law a look. “If you’re insinuating that I’m in love with the guy…”
Mysie returned Cinnia’s glare with even more attitude. “Of course I’m not. I know how you feel about Bren and that you’re basically closed off to any other possible suitors, but I wonder about things. If Bren wasn’t in the picture, I think you could’ve fallen for Byron.”
“He’s way too young for me.”
“Seven years isn’t that long.”
“He’s… Byron. My brother. Besides, he’s obsessed with Cassandra Abernethy.”
“Do you like making excuses when someone cuts too close to the bone?”
“Do you like thinking that your son’s wife has a crush on someone else?” Cinnia countered angrily. She tugged her arm from Mysie’s grasp and took a step back. “I really think you should start finding better things to do with your time than to conjure up these fantasies.”
“I didn’t mean it that way, Cin.”
“Then what did you mean? Why are you talking about this?”
Mysie waved that away. “Forget it, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
“Damn right, you shouldn’t have.” Cinnia sensed her husband’s presence behind her and relaxed slightly, although she was still massively confused by Mysie’s behavior.
“Is everything alright?” Brennan asked softly. “Things seem… tense between you two, all of the sudden.”
“Your mother’s making the strangest comments.”
“Such as?”
Mysie’s eyes held an undeniable challenge. “I just remarked on Cin and Byron’s bond.”
“Yes, but she said it as if I’m in love with him.” Cinnia watched, astonished, as mother and son shared a probing look. Something passed between them, like a power play on an energetic level, while Cinnia was left out in the dark. “What?”
“I’m gonna head back to the party,” Mysie muttered, retreating.
Cinnia shifted her attention to her husband. “What’s going on?”
Brennan wrapped an arm around her waist and stared at Byron. “He’s the type of man I’d want around you if I’m gone.”
“Wait, you think that I—”
“If I thought that, you wouldn’t be alive, Cinnia,” Brennan informed her. His hold tightened fractionally. “You know I’m possessive and jealous. If I had the slightest suspicion that you had romantic feelings for him, or he for you, you’d both be in shallow graves by now.”
She frowned severely, trying to keep up. Her strange feelings towards Byron have dissipated over time, especially now that she had a baby on the way, and he’s never indicated that he thought of her as more than a friend. “Then why would you say something like, ‘if I’m gone’?”
“I suppose, with Logan’s due date approaching, I’ve become more aware of my mortality.”
“You haven’t spoken to me about this.”
“It’s not something I want you to worry about.”
She was shaking her head before he finished that sentence. “That’s not how it works, Bren. You told me to talk to you about everything that bothers me, everything that I’m thinking. I expect the same thing from you. You can’t keep things like this from me.”
He breathed deeply and met her gaze. “You’re right, I’m sorry. Do you really want to hash this out here, though?”
“If you’re ‘more aware of your mortality’, then you know there’s no better time than the present.”
“I just don’t want to fight at a party.”
She inclined her head, acknowledging his fear. “I won’t turn this into an argument if you promise to tell me the truth.”
“Fine,” he muttered, taking her hand in his and walking to a secluded area of the room. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest defensively, his jaw clenched. “Shit happens, Cin, especially in MCs. I’m the future Prez of the Raptors and, becau
se of that, I’m a walking target. You know this, right?” He waited for her to nod. “I’ve just started thinking about what’ll happen if I’m gone. Will you and Logan be taken care of? Will you fall in love with someone else? Would I want you to move on?”
She couldn’t believe that he’s been pondering these questions, and that she hadn’t had the foggiest clue. “How long have you felt like this?”
“A week.”
“I’m pissed you didn’t mention something sooner.”
One corner of his mouth tilted up. “I figured.”
“Bren, I don’t know how to answer you, ‘cause I haven’t considered any of those things. It’s not even in my frame of reference at the moment.”
“Things change like that.” He snapped his fingers. “One second, you’re at your bachelor’s party with your brothers, and the next you’re getting a phone call from a hospital saying your fiancée’s been admitted.” He gave her a moment to let that sink in. “We only have this moment, right now. The rest is a guessing game.”
She rubbed her temples. “I… didn’t think of it that way.”
“I’ve already put things in place, in case something happens to me, so I don’t want you to worry.” He glanced over his shoulder to where Byron was laughing with Teagan and Nixon. “I’m not saying I think the two of you will hook up if I’m gone, but he’s the kind of guy I want around you. He’ll look out for you and Logan, and make sure you’re safe. That’s all I can hope for.”
“Brennan,” she whispered, blinking to get rid of her tears, “I—”
“I’m not planning on going anywhere,” he assured her as he cupped her face in his hands. “If I could have my way, I’d live forever with you by my side, watching Logan get married and have his own kids and maybe even seeing their kids.”
Shutting her eyes, Cinnia attempted to calm her breathing. “I should probably start thinking long-term, too.”
He stepped forward and wrapped her in his loving embrace. “I’d appreciate it. It’s just a precaution, not a premonition.”