by Elle Rease
Cinnia shifted Jesse to her hip, unperturbed when the girl began tugging her hair. “You’ve got my attention, Dee.”
Taking deep breaths, Dawn slowly made eye-contact. “Why did you forgive me? I mean, I know of many women who would’ve held a grudge and never spoken to me again.”
Cinnia contemplated that before answering. They were delving into deep territory right now and, since Dawn had posed the question, she deserved a good answer. Frankly, Cinnia had never really thought it through in the past.
“Well, that’s a loaded topic,” she started. She put Jesse down, keeping an eye on the toddler. “It wasn’t just you that I had to forgive. I think, to a large extent, being with Brennan always frightened me, at the back of my mind.” She chewed on the corner of her lip for a while. “He features in most of my childhood memories, ‘cause he’s always been there. We have the kind of love that people write novels about, where we grow together while we’re growing up together, you know? Back then, though, I wasn’t sure if that’s what I wanted. I love the club and my family, but I always saw myself working as an accountant at some major corporation in a big city.”
“You’ve always had bigger dreams than this town,” Dawn said, smiling wistfully.
“Exactly, and I had that subconscious urge to explore and to get out, all the time.” Cinnia quickly intercepted Jesse as she was about to pull open the knives drawer. How did kids instinctively find the most dangerous thing in the room? “I couldn’t leave Brennan, though, ‘cause I love him so damn much. I understood that he’s older and had urges, but figured he’d just wait until he decided he could deflower me.” She snorted. “No matter how many times I asked, begged or threatened, he wouldn’t do it. I never suspected that he was messing around. When you told me… So many things flashed through my mind.”
Dawn’s grip on the counter turned her knuckles white. “I hate teenage-Dawn.”
“I don’t, not anymore,” Cinnia said. “Yes, you did a bitchy thing by sleeping with my boyfriend and then telling me about it, but a part of me was relieved. You and I were like sisters, as close as Bren and I were. Because of that, you were another anchor that kept me in this place. Even though it hurt like hell to lose the two people I loved the most, I was secretly so happy that nothing was holding me here anymore. Finally, I could get out of this town and live my dream. I could make new friends, instead of having the same ones since birth. I could meet someone else and not be a total cliché. It might seem strange, but I saw it as an opportunity to get more out of life than just this.”
“And then Brennan got you back.”
“Yeah.” Cinnia laughed. “Right on time, too. That saying, ‘be careful what you wish for ‘cause you just might get it’? It’s the damn truth. I made new friends and got another boyfriend, but it wasn’t the same. I turned into a drone: go to work, go home, eat, sleep, and repeat. Another saying comes to mind.”
“‘You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone’?” Dawn suggested.
“Read my mind,” Cinnia grinned. “I didn’t want to see you when I came back, but not for the reasons I convinced everyone of. I didn’t want to be reminded of that time when I’d thrown all of this away, plus the years I’d wasted in the city. I didn’t want to admit that this life, right here, as the VP’s old lady, was better than my dream of being some hotshot accountant. That I’m a total cliché, falling in love at first sight and having friendships that span a lifetime. In many ways, I could relate to what you did.”
Dawn looked confused. “Why?”
“We both wanted to know how the other half lived. In your case, it was to see what it would be like to have Brennan’s attention, for your own reasons. In my case, it was to shun the life I was born to live and chase something that I thought I should want. Holding a grudge against you would’ve been a little hypocritical.” Cinnia shrugged. “I dunno, perhaps I’m just screwed in the head. Besides, I know what I have with Brennan runs deeper than what he’s had with other women.”
“Wow, Cin.” Dawn’s gaze was powerful. She wiped stray tears away and shook her head in disbelief. “I know I’ve said this before, but you’re more mature than anyone else I’ve ever met.”
Cinnia stuck her tongue out playfully. “That’s debatable.”
“I’m serious, though. If our roles were reversed… I hate to say it, but I wouldn’t have been so understanding.”
“Maybe I’m just screwed up.”
“For what it’s worth, I appreciate that you don’t wish I was dead.”
“Dawn, I could never.”
“That means so much to me. Thank you.”
As Cinnia opened her mouth to respond, Aurora ran into the kitchen. “Mommy, look!” she exclaimed, proudly holding one of Logan’s shoes.
“Where on earth did you find that?” Dawn asked, frustrated. “I told you that you shouldn’t go through other people’s things!”
The three-year-old’s bottom lip trembled.
Cinnia giggled and ruffled Aurora’s hair. “It’s okay, Rory. Don’t listen to your mom. Logan loses his shoes all the time.”
“You’re too nice to her,” Dawn muttered. “She’s so naughty.”
“So? She’s a kid. They’re always naughty.”
Dawn sighed and picked Aurora up. “Come on, squirt. Let’s go outside to daddy.”
Cinnia followed with Jesse, and they got comfortable on the patio. The men were standing around the fire. Byron was still holding Logan, looking like a very young father. Teagan and a heavily pregnant Piper arrived a few minutes later, apologizing profusely for not being on time.
“Cin was late, and it’s her barbecue,” Byron piped up.
“I was getting my tramp stamp,” Cinnia argued teasingly.
“Is that why you’re wearing sweats?” Piper huffed as she sank down on a chair. “I’ve never seen you so unfashionable, unless we’re at gym.”
“And you haven’t been to gym in months,” Dawn giggled.
“I don’t feel like doing anything.” Piper grabbed a handful of crisps to stuff her face with. “I just want these babies out of me already.”
Cinnia smiled. “Well, I think you look great.”
“Thanks, sis.”
Jemma and her children joined them a few minutes before Brennan put the meat on the grill, and Nixon was in time for dinner. Watching all the kids play and keep each other company, Cinnia couldn’t wait until Logan was old enough to appreciate this community. He was never going to be alone: that was all a mother could wish for her child.
Everyone—except, as usual, Byron—left after nine. Cinnia tucked her son in and took the baby monitor with her downstairs, so she could help Byron and Brennan clean up with peace of mind. She hoped that things with Zoey will settle down sooner, rather than later. No one deserved happiness more than Byron, especially after everything he’s been through.
He greeted them an hour later and headed home.
Cinnia locked up the house and packed the dishwasher. “That was fun,” she told her husband.
“Aye, it always is.” He embraced her from behind, his fingers spreading on her stomach. “Tell me you’re a little excited about the honeymoon.”
“You bet, babe. I’d love to get away for a while, just the three of us.”
“Good,” he murmured, kissing her neck. “I overheard your conversation with Dawn.”
She chuckled. “Why am I not surprised?”
“It wasn’t on purpose,” he insisted. “I wanted to get beers for me and Haye, and then I heard her asking you about the grudge.” Brennan turned her around. “She’s right, you know. Your capacity for forgiveness is amazing.”
“Don’t think that means you’ll get off scot-free next time,” she warned.
“Lass, there won’t be a next time. My heart and cock belong to you.”
“I know.” She kissed his chin. “And my heart and pussy belong to you.”
His gaze darkened. “I love you. You’re the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever know
n, inside and out.”
“And you’re the most romantic biker I’ve ever known. My softie.”
“Aye,” he laughed. “Ready for your reward?”
As if on cue, Logan’s cries over the monitor butted in on their conversation. Cinnia burst out laughing and pushed her husband away. “Not right now, obviously.”
“I’ll get it,” he insisted, pecking her on the cheek. He got a bottle from the stash Tessa had left. “Just in case.”
“You’re a sexy dad, you know that?”
Brennan winked at her and exited the kitchen to tend to their son.
She took her time finishing up and made sure all the doors were locked. She switched the alarm on and trudged up the stairs. Logan’s cot was still in the main bedroom—she was way too clingy to move him down the hallway—so she shut the door once she was inside.
The sight that met her warmed her soul: Brennan was seated in the rocking chair with their son in his arms. They were both fast asleep. The contradiction of her husband’s appearance and his nature often had her speechless, as it did now.
She will never be able to forget how lucky she was with moments like this one constantly reminding her.
Going to the bathroom, she took a quick shower and wrapped her robe around her body afterwards. Then she walked up to Brennan and touched the side of his face. “Come on, babe,” she whispered as he woke up. “Let’s go to bed.”
He did as she asked, sticking to their three-month habit of bringing Logan with him. They flanked their son on both sides and gazed at each other over Logan’s sleeping form.
“I love you, Cin.”
Outsiders didn’t understand her lifestyle, her choices or the things she’s let go of—like the grudge against Dawn—along the way to end up where she was now, but that’s okay. At the end of the day, she was the one who had to go to bed with this tattooed, pierced, bad-ass biker, and raise their son to take charge of the Raptors. She had to live with her decisions and suffer the consequences of her actions.
Cinnia was totally fine with that. Her life was complete: no one could ever make her believe she wasn’t the luckiest woman alive.
“I love you too, Bren,” she said softly.
The End
Acknowledgements
Writing and being creative feels natural to me. Publishing, however, is quite a daunting concept that I nearly gave up on. I can’t even say it was an isolated incident, either! No, self-doubt was my constant companion.
Luckily, I have an incredible support structure, and it would do me well to give credit where it’s due:
First off, to my mother and biggest fan. The sheer strength and inner fierceness that she possesses often floors me. To think that I’ve got her blood in my veins, doubly so! Thank you for cheering me on, when needed… And for sternly motivating me, where applicable.
My bestie and (current) roommate—whom I view as my extended family—Hein and Liandra, for always listening to my complaints and then encouraging me to keep going.
Carol, for opening me up to the limitless possibilities within my reach. How does it get any better than that?
Naomi, for your unbridled enthusiasm regarding this project, and your bubbling, contagious laugh! You managed to make me excited about my talents, something I’ve viewed as “just another day in the life” for way too long.
Candice, for fine-combing through this novel and “Americanising” my grammar. You have dedication in this area that I lack!
Wendy, who had such patience with me while designing this cover. You’ve brought something really special to life and I cannot thank you enough!
There are so many other people who, in their own, unique ways brought me that much closer to my goal. Ranging from the gentle nudges to the downright fan-girl-style applause, I really could not have imagined anything more incredible.
Last, but certainly not least: a huge shout-out to all my Wattpad fans! If it weren’t for your love of this book, I probably never would’ve had the courage to publish.
Coming Soon…
Hero
A Raptors MC Novel by
Elle Rease