by GA Hauser
That label coming from his father always bit Connor hard. He checked the hall only once to see if he was being followed, before he jogged outside to his car.
~
Connor tried not to grate his teeth as he raced along the highway. He felt his eyes fill with tears and wiped at them angrily. Fuck him! Fuck him! He punched the steering wheel. Admit I’m gay? Are you kidding me? Telling Mom to adopt another kid? How low can you go, Dad?
He didn’t want to let that ass hurt him, but he did. He did. Way more than he could prevent it. It was unfair. Connor wanted to be accepted by his father, to be treated like a man, respected for making his own decisions and working hard. But every time his father crossed his path, it was the same broken record.
Connor couldn’t imagine admitting it. Sure, you say that’s all you want, but, Jesus, Dad, what will you do if I say I am? Disown me?
Two hours of driving later, he shut off the MG and got out wearily. The feeling of being completely spent overcame him as he unlatched the front lobby entrance and climbed the stairs to his unit. When he opened the door he smelled food. “Oh, fuck me,” he groaned. “Kyle?”
Kyle sat at the folding kitchen table with his open book. He raised his head and smiled brightly when Connor entered.
“I’m sorry. I’m such a jerk. I forgot you were making dinner.”
“No big deal. It’s not that late, Connor. It’s only seven.” He stood up and turned the oven on.
“Shit.” Connor wasn’t appeased.
Kyle walked across the room to him and studied his face. “What happened? Were you crying?”
Mortified Kyle could tell, Connor hurried to the bathroom mirror and took a look at himself. There was a layer of dust from his riding smeared with his tears. Connor turned on the sink faucets and splashed his face.
Obviously alarmed Kyle asked, “What the hell happened to you? Are you okay?”
Connor wondered what Kyle read in his eyes. “Life in hell, part two hundred.” Connor sighed, drying his face on a towel and waited to see what his good friend would do.
Kyle dampened a washcloth. “Look at me.”
“Gladly.” Connor smiled weakly at him.
As gently as if he were caring for a child, Kyle wiped Connor’s neck.
“Am I a mess? I need to shower.” Connor took a peek at the two of them in the mirror, his cheeks felt warm and he could see them growing red.
“You’re covered in dirt and I could tell you were crying.” Kyle folded the cloth up and tossed it on the sink counter.
“You didn’t know your roommate was a crybaby, did you?” Connor felt infinitely more at ease with his friend near.
“You want to tell me what happened?”
“No. Just the usual verbal abuse. The good news is, I may have convinced Mom to double my allowance.”
“Good. Dad is the problem then?”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Connor turned away and knew he must stink from his day in the saddle.
“Then don’t. You like macaroni and cheese?”
“You made mac and cheese?”
“Yes. With the help of a long distance call to Mom.” Kyle grinned at him.
Connor felt his heart warm with emotion. He wanted to tell Kyle how much he adored him. “Was it hard to make?”
“Nah, not at all. Ya just have to know how.” Kyle stuck his chest out proudly.
“Thank you.” Connor beamed at him in affection.
“You’re welcome. Now shower. You stink. What the hell is that smell?”
“Horses.” Connor chuckled as he undressed.
“Horses? Where did you ride?”
“My parents have a couple.” Connor didn’t want to make it sound like a brag.
“Lucky you.” Kyle left the bathroom.
“You like to ride?” Connor called after him.
“Sure. Anytime.”
“Huh.” Connor stripped and started the water in the shower. “I wonder what would happen if we both went riding one day?” Sure, Connor, bring a male friend home. That would go over well. Connor shook his head sadly and stepped into the tub.
Chapter 8
Someone grabbed Kyle by his elbow on his way out of the lecture hall to meet Connor. “Hey, Kevin.”
“There’s a party at the Phi Omega frat house tonight. Most of the guys from the team are going to be there. Gamma house girls are going too. Stop by. Best party before spring break. Huge kegger.”
“Maybe,” he replied as Kevin took off down the corridor.
“Bring women,” Kevin yelled back at him.
What the hell does that mean? Instead of bringing a guy? Kyle tried not to take the comment personally, but Kevin and his pack of homophobes rarely let up on Connor during practice and in the locker. Kyle was surprised Kevin didn’t add, “Don’t bring Connor.” It would have been par for the course. Lately the verbal abuse to Connor had gone over the top in Kyle’s opinion.
With paranoid thoughts spinning in his head about being labeled simply because he and Connor were roommates and best friends, Kyle headed to the lecture hall where Connor’s class was about to end.
He hoped it didn’t seem odd that he was lingering in the corridor. Kyle tried not to be obvious when he peeked inside the classroom door’s small glass window.
He spotted lovely Connor seated near the front, his long hair tucked behind his ears, his attention riveted to the professor’s lecture. Immediately Kyle’s heart warmed and he had to force himself to back up and look casual.
Seconds later, the door swung open and a flood of students emerged.
Connor hadn’t spotted him yet, still occupied with reloading his textbooks into his pack. A girl stood near Connor, talking to him as he did.
Jealous, Kyle bristled and entered the room. “Connor!”
At hearing his name, Connor raised his head and grinned broadly. “Hi, Kyle.”
Kyle walked closer to them and tried not to glare at yet another pretty female hovering around his heartthrob.
“Kyle, this is Mary,” Connor introduced them.
She grinned shyly at Kyle and said, “Hi.”
“Hi.” He tapped Connor. “Let’s go. You hungry?”
“Starved.”
Connor hoisted his pack over his shoulder and it appeared Mary wanted to invite herself along. Kyle could feel it coming. No way was Kyle willing to share his time off with Connor with anyone else. On the pretext of roughhousing, Kyle nudged between them and put his arm around Connor’s neck, wrestling with him. “How about Chinese food?”
“Am I buying?” Connor laughed as Kyle dragged him out of the room by the head.
“Yes, you’re buying. You’re the one with all the cash.” Kyle peeked over his shoulder. When Mary didn’t follow them, he released his hold on Connor. “Kevin said there’s a kegger at a frat house tonight. Do you want to go?”
“A kegger? Uh, did you say Kevin invited you?” Connor curled his lip.
“Yes. He said the team will be there.”
“I wouldn’t mind the free beer, but…Kevin? And his gang of bullies?”
“Yeah. I thought the same thing. Never mind.” Kyle scanned around quickly to see if anyone was eavesdropping.
“I have mixed feelings, Kyle.” Connor shifted his backpack on his shoulder as they left the building. “I don’t want to be intimidated by those guys. You know, stop having a social life because of them.”
“Your decision.”
After taking a minute to digest it, Connor said, “Let’s go. We could leave if they get nasty.”
“I’ll punch Kevin in the nose if he gets nasty.” Kyle wasn’t sure he wanted to deal with it.
“My hero.” Connor stopped Kyle’s progress off campus, poking his nose into Kyle’s playfully. “Which Chinese restaurant?”
Kyle could have rubbed noses with him he was that close. “You’ve gone mad.”
“I’ve gone mad,” Connor repeated, tilting his head.
“How about Golden China?
”
“Perfect.”
Kyle nudged him back playfully and took another paranoid peek around. “Who wound you up? Christ, Connor, I never know what to expect from you.” They headed to the restaurant.
“I’m high on Kyle William Baker.”
Kyle’s mouth opened in shock. Once he got over the surprise he urged Connor to keep moving. “Go. I’m hungry and you’re walking too slowly.”
“Meat. Kyle wants meat,” Connor said, as they picked up their pace.
Kyle raised his eyebrow at him. I want meat. You got that right. Your meat.
~
By the time they had stopped home and eaten their Chinese food, it only took them an hour before they were ready to go out again.
Kyle drove and parked along a packed campus street in a tight parallel parking spot. They walked down the crowded sidewalk to the frat house.
The party was out already of control. When Kyle stepped through the doorway, he ducked as something flew over their heads.
“Jesus,” Connor gasped, then screamed, “aaah!”
Still trying to get over the shock of the object that was hurled at them, Kyle held his hand on his heart. “What?” he asked Connor.
“Someone just grabbed my ass!” Connor spun around to look.
Kyle heard a girl’s hysterical laughter and noticed her wicked smirk. Obviously so had Connor.
“Kyle, keep that maniac away from me.” Connor pointed her out to him.
“It’s going to be a wild night.” Kyle sighed as Connor wagged his finger at the naughty woman. Kyle held Connor’s elbow. “Come on. Keep moving.”
As they avoided various obstacles and objects whizzing through the air, they headed into the vortex. A keg was the centerpiece of the entire carnival of twenty-something students, and plastic cups were being filled in an assembly-line manner. Two cups were offered to them when their turn came. Kyle stopped the beer from sloshing and took a deep swallow.
Instantly he was smacked with the aroma of marijuana. The noise level was so high, Kyle barely caught Neil Young’s voice over the chaos of drunken debauchery. The frat house was old, needed new paint desperately, and the white walls were used as dartboards, corkboards, and obviously graffiti notes to fellow members. It was a dive. A dive that needed bulldozing to fix. Not to mention it stunk like old gym socks and BO.
After Connor sucked down his beer, he licked the foam off his lip, then belched, grinning at Kyle.
In amusement, Kyle shook his head. Before he could attempt a conversation in the cacophony of noise, their names were being called. Kyle stretched tall over the rest of the crowd to discern where the greeting was coming from. He found his teammates trying to flag him down.
“There are the guys,” Kyle told Connor and began the trek across the jammed room to join them.
As they wove their path through the congestion, Kyle noticed Connor’s attention was diverted by a blonde who wanted him to dance. Connor peeked at Kyle and shrugged innocently, as the drunken woman swiveled her hips seductively at him.
Again Kyle’s name was yelled. Not wanting to be seen dragging Connor along, Kyle headed toward the group of lacrosse guys who were standing off to the side of the packed room.
“Christ, five minutes and already Worthington has a date.” Frank laughed, but Kyle could see he was jealous.
“He’s a fucking chick magnet,” Wayne said, “and Teresa’s so fucking easy. He’ll get laid.”
“It’s got to be the hair. Chicks love long hair on guys,” David added.
“It’s not just the long hair. Randy’s hair is long and he’s a bomb with the women,” Frank replied.
“I’m not a bomb,” Randy protested, then frowned. “I’m just unlucky. And my hair isn’t as long as that.”
“Yeah, right.” Wayne pushed him playfully.
Kyle noticed the group staring at Connor as little blonde Teresa started climbing on him as she danced.
Sick about the notion of Connor getting laid, Kyle turned away and finished his beer. He switched to tequila shooters, determined to get plastered.
Kevin joined their group with Dick Lang tagging along. Gary pointed to Connor. “Look. Worthington’s about to get lucky.”
Kyle studied Kevin’s expression. Was this Connor’s chance to get rid of the gay rumors?
“He won’t screw her. He’s a fag.”
Kyle cringed and walked away from them, throwing the tequila down his throat. Unreal. Nothing you can do, Connor. Even hanging out with a woman won’t help.
~
The music changed to something Connor didn’t care for. He wiped his face with his shirt, now that he was drenched in sweat from the physical activity in the hot room.
“Take this off.” Theresa yanked on his tank top.
“What for?” Connor resisted.
“Because I want to see you dance without it.”
“No.” He grew upset and got a better look at her. Her eyes were bright red and she was obviously either drunk or high. When she tried to get Connor’s shirt off, he nudged her away. “Stop.” Connor knew he had to keep up the straight façade but he wasn’t going to allow this woman to strip him at a lousy frat kegger.
“Don’t be shy, Connor. All the girls love your body.”
The minute she pursed her lips for a kiss, Connor cringed and backed up.
As if Kyle had a sixth sense about Connor’s situation, he appeared next to him and handed Connor a fresh glass of beer.
“Geez, you’re dripping wet. Want to step outside?” Kyle asked.
“Yes. I do.” He took the plastic cup. “See ya,” he said to Teresa and followed Kyle out.
Just as he and Kyle were making their way to the door Connor spun around to yet another assault on his derriere. His beer spilled down his fingers at his surprise. As he scanned the crowd to figure out which girl in the group had groped his ass, Kyle shook his head.
The few girls close by grinned and eyed him hungrily. “Behave,” he warned them.
Kyle held his arm and brought him outside. It was cooler and less stuffy. Connor inhaled the fresh air and lifted his hair off his neck with one hand trying to dry off his soaked skin.
“Check out the moon.” Kyle pointed, leaning against Connor.
Connor raised his gaze to it and said, “Wow.”
“It’s full. You better watch out. The werewolves are out.” Kyle laughed.
“More like the she-wolves.”
“What? You don’t like them grabbing your butt?” Kyle asked sarcastically.
Connor peered behind him first, then said, “Not when they hump me in front of everyone.”
“Connor, it’s not working. Give up the charade.”
At the overt comment regarding his sexuality from his best friend, Connor faced Kyle full on and studied his expression. “Are you being insightful or are you drunk?”
“Both? I’m way ahead of you.” Kyle gave him a silly grin.
Connor waited as a few people passed them to get inside the frat. “What’s not working? What charade? Care to elaborate?”
“Connor, Connor, Connor,” Kyle clicked his tongue disapprovingly.
About to delve further into where Kyle was going with his chiding, someone greeted Connor.
“Hey, Connor.”
Connor spun around to one of his teammates, Donald Mulhouse. “Oh, hi.” He remembered Kevin’s comment about Donald looking at him naked in the locker room and began to feel nervous. After all, everyone was stoned on everything from pot to ecstasy, drunk on booze or going completely insane at the moment. Anything was possible, including a pass from a gay teammate. Connor had no idea what he would do if Donald made one.
After Kevin’s accusing locker room gossip, Connor investigated the people around the area to see which one could be Donald’s boyfriend. Was Donald openly gay?
“You ready for our next game?” Donald asked.
Kyle shifted his weight from leg to leg as if he needed to sit down. Since they were outside the
frat house and there was no place to sit. Kyle leaned on Connor before he fell over.
“He’s drunk,” Connor explained nervously as his roommate held onto him.
Donald laughed softly. “Who isn’t?”
Someone handed Donald a joint as they walked by to the front of the frat house’s open door. After he took a long inhale he offered it to Connor.
“I don’t smoke. Virgin lungs,” Connor said, adding, “and ass.”
Kyle doubled over with laughter.
“What?” Donald cracked up. “Shit. Did you say you had a virgin ass? I should hope so.”
A few of the people lingering out front stepped nearer to ask what Connor had said to make Kyle laugh so hard. Kyle was laughing so much he was choking, slapping his thigh and howling with hilarity.
Connor grew nervous and repeated, “He’s completely toasted.”
“Anyone want a toke?” Donald offered the joint and someone quickly took it off his hands.
“Argh!” Connor gasped and spun around at another pinch to his bottom. “Stop that,” he scolded a tipsy female.
“Hey, now your ass has been de-virginated,” Donald said and the group finally started to catch on and joined the laughter.
A girl put her arm around Donald’s waist, asking him, “What happened? Why are all you guys laughing so hard?”
“Connor’s ass seems to be getting a lot of attention,” Donald explained, then said, “Connor, this is my fiancée, Cyndie.”
“Your fiancée?” Connor gasped. Well, there goes the accusation of him being a fag out the window. Connor felt like a moron. His preconceived notion was just as ignorant as Kevin and his groups’.
Hannah and Vicky showed up. “Oh, hello, Connor.” Hannah gave him a snobbish glance.
“Hello, Hannah,” he said in exactly the same manner.
“Okay. This is gonna go downhill quick,” Kyle slurred.
Hannah took a closer look at Kyle. “Are you drunk?”
“He’s smashed.” Vicky giggled.
“Looks like you have a double-standard when it comes to your male friends getting stoned.” Hannah made sure it was loud enough for everyone around to hear.