Ophelia (Love & Loss #1)

by Jude Ouvrard

“You deserve it, you worked so hard for it.”

  He smiled, looking shy.

  The waitress came to give us our drinks and to take our orders. She still ignored me.

  “There is something I want to talk to you about. When you were in Brooklyn, Bev and I talked a lot and we think maybe it’s time to move out of the apartment. Get a new place, bigger, maybe.”

  Why bigger? We’re okay in the apartment. It had never been an issue before.

  “We could get a house, a bi-generation house or a duplex with a yard for Clara and an eventual child of ours.”

  “I think you guys have made up your mind already. If Bev has decided something, it’s already too late to say no.”

  I noticed the discomfort in Teo's posture. “We found a place and we could visit tomorrow morning.” He sighed. “If you would like.”

  I knew money was never going to be an issue unless I turned into Paris Hilton. I hated to think about it, but I had my parents’ money and mine, which was a lot. Maybe it could be fun to have a yard, we could have BBQ's. “Where is it?”

  “Poway.”

  I knew where it was. Great, family-oriented neighbourhood. I nodded, thinking about this.

  “We could visit the house, now that you have me curious and all.”

  “Yeah? You want to?” he asked, surprised.

  “Did you think I wouldn’t agree?” He motioned a yes. “I think we could afford it, but we would need to take a look at our finances.”

  “We... hum... We already did. I wouldn’t be talking about it if it weren’t possible.”

  I laughed. “Okay, you two got this all figured out.”

  He nodded sheepishly. I could see in his eyes that he feared I would get upset, but I wasn’t.

  “Okay. It’s fine, Teo.”

  Our food arrived and he talked to me about the property. It seemed like a genuinely nice house with a swimming pool in the backyard. He showed me pictures of the house from his phone and it seemed like a big house with a lot of room.

  For the rest of the dinner, I couldn't think straight. Were we really going to buy a house? This was not something that I would ever have expected, but I could see us four, sitting by the pool in the yard.

  I was definitely looking forward to visiting the property.

  Our empty plates disappeared and were replaced by cannolis and Italian ice cream. I didn’t even realize that we had ordered our dessert yet. Was I that distracted?

  “What do you want to do next?” I asked, suddenly too hyper to go home and sleep.

  “The weather's nice, we could take a walk.”

  I smiled. “I would love that.” Hand in hand, or his arm around my waist. A simple thing I loved. We used to take many walks when we moved here. On the beach, mostly. The scenery was very pleasing to look at, and we just talked about anything. Beverly came with us most of the time, until she got too pregnant to walk long distances.

  “You seem like you are miles away.”

  I chuckled. “Yeah. I’m surprised, exhausted and excited all at the same time. Thinking about the house, walking with you. I’m sorry.”

  “Are you happy?”

  “I am.”

  His lips and eyes smiled. Me being happy had that effect on him as though he’d been granted everything he’d ever wished for.

  ... O ...

  The feeling against my feet was cool and it tickled as I pushed against it. Walking on the sand, barefoot remained one of my favorite things here in San Diego. The view of the pier and the sunset was the most mesmerizing I had ever seen and it was here, close to home. We held hands and strode along the beach. The seagulls surrounded us at the pier, which overlooked the shore for a long distance. I used to come here to think, to meditate in the first year after our arrival. My psychiatrist at the time encouraged me to do a lot of meditation. While Teo surfed the waves, I relaxed on the pier. Watching his athletic body controlling the waves had been inspiring to me. Teo always had full control of his life and he could deal with change easily, while I was always stressing out over every small change. Teo helped me find a balance, and I was more than thankful. I got better with time too.

  “What are you smiling about?”

  I flushed. “You.”

  When I graduated, I had received so many opportunities that I didn’t know what to do. Although he wanted me to stay in California, he is the one who encouraged me to live my dream. My first trip as a graduate was to Italy. He told me I could do it time after time, and I ended up believing him. I stayed in Venice six months and it only marked the beginning of my travelling journey.

  “Thinking about when I left to go to Italy. We were here on the pier when you convinced me to go.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, one of the hardest things I have done. Telling you to go away nearly killed me. If it wasn’t for the extra classes I took, I would have gone with you. The worst six months of my life.”

  “That bad?”

  His fingers rubbed against his jaw as if he could remember exactly how he felt. “You have no idea.”

  I couldn’t find words to say. It had hurt me too to be away from him. He had been there for me all through college and I ended up alone in an unknown country where I didn’t speak the language. He had visited Italy a couple of times, so he was able to reassure me that everything would be fine. I trusted him then like I trusted him now.

  The silence made it worse. I had to say something. Speak from the heart, Ophelia. “We’re here now. We’ve been through good and recently, not so good. I think we’re stronger now. Don’t you think?”

  “Yeah, we are and I’m looking forward to our future.” His arms found my waist, squeezing me tighter, and his lips found mine.

  To our future, I thought when our kisses suddenly got more intense.

  Chapter FIFTEEN

  ***

  Time heals, time gives. Patience is the key.

  ***

  Two months later.

  Unpacking the last box made me the happiest girl in California. I declared myself the worst mover in the world. I tried to go through this experience with a positive attitude, but there was absolutely nothing fun about packing box after box. Then, I felt like the professional movers who treated my innocent boxes like trash, not to mention my piano. Again, I tried to stay positive, but after moving into the new house, I had to unpack. It was a never-ending task. The new house was much bigger, giving us a lot more room to breathe in, but it also meant we needed furniture. Beverly agreed to take care of it, so at least I didn’t have to worry about it. I trusted her taste of design.

  Teo had been working extra hours for the past two weeks. His partner was on vacation, and it made him more nervous than usual. I couldn’t wait to see him later on tonight. Beverly and I had been dealing with most of the moving. We were tired and in need of a break. Tonight, we were going out to celebrate the new house. Beverly was at work while I was home with Clara.

  “Hey, Lia. I’ll have to pick up Clara’s babysitter at 6pm. I won’t be home before at least 6:30pm.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, don’t worry about it.”

  “Did you pick your outfit?”

  “I did.” I said, but honestly, I was still debating which dress to wear. “Did you?”

  “Yes, I’m wearing the leopard print one.”

  “Good choice, very sexy, not really subtle.” I mentally crossed the idea of wearing my polka dots dress, now opting for the plain one. Too many different prints would give us headaches.

  “Well... humm... Trevor will be at the club later.”

  “I wonder if you two are ever going to make it official.”

  She laughed so loud, the vibration of the phone hit hard on my eardrum. “Look who’s talking.” She laughed even more. “You waited years. We’ve only been dating for a couple of months.”

  We met Trevor when we were going to SDU. He had a couple classes with Teo as they studied business entrepreneurship, and they became friends through the years. We used to hang out a lot, but
nothing had ever happened between him and Beverly until Christmas Eve, when all three of us went to his pub to have a good time. I don’t know what happened then, but they clicked and had been seeing each other once or twice a week ever since. Trevor was a good guy and he liked Clara a lot. I didn’t have to worry about having another John in my best friend’s life again.

  Clara was home with me. While I played piano in the living room, she was watching a movie in her bedroom. Because my schedule had a lot of spare time, I was taking her to and from kindergarten most of the weekdays, and I stayed with her on the Saturdays. Beverly hated that I spent more time with Clara than her, but it was only temporary. She was juggling with the management of her two beauty salons. Her career was doing better than she had anticipated. She started in a part-time job as make-up artist, and ended up opening two beauty salons with an associate. This was her dream job, but it was taking a lot of her time at the moment. She just needed to get a hang of the tasks and then her life would go back to normal. At least, she hoped.

  On my side, my wrist left me hanging. I could only play for short period of time before the pain returned. My main job consisted of playing at Teo’s restaurant. It was fun, entertaining and challenging at times. People liked to request specific songs and sometimes, it was quite hard. I had a very large range of pieces I could play, but sometimes it appeared to be insufficient.

  “Ophelia, I’m hungry.”

  “Oh, really? What do you want to eat?”

  Clara sat next to me on the bench facing the piano. “I want chocolate milk,” she whispered knowing she wasn’t allowed.

  “You know, your mother doesn’t like it when you have chocolate milk.”

  “I know.” She responded with a sad tone in her voice. Even though I wanted to spoil her rotten, I didn’t want her to start thinking that she could have anything she wanted when her mother wasn’t home. She knew better than this.

  “How about a grilled cheese or homemade mac & cheese?” Beverly was about to get home with the babysitter and then we would get ready to leave. “I’ll give you grape juice, if you want.”

  “Mac & cheese.” She clearly was disappointed, but I’d expected it.

  Cooking in our new kitchen was like cooking for a TV show. Everything looked perfect, like in a magazine. I got the water boiling and added the pasta. Today I hadn’t done much apart from unpacking and playing piano but I was still exhausted. I got dinner ready in no time. Clara was done eating by the time Beverly arrived. I let her have her mother-daughter moment while I showered. I was excited about the night and I wanted to look my best. We hadn’t gone out in a long time. Were we too old to go out dancing? I wondered but in the end, it didn’t really matter.

  In my tight red dress, my stomach looked flat. Yes, because I was hungry, famished. I could have eaten a whole horse by myself and I craved a glass of red wine.

  “Do you mind walking a little slower?” Beverly asked with a not-so patient tone to her voice.

  “Why are you wearing four inches high heels to go dancing if you can’t even walk in them?” I was far from being a trend follower, but sometimes Bev liked to dress like a runway model. She had the body, the beauty, of that I had no doubt. I simply didn’t think she would survive wearing these shoes.

  “They were comfy when I tried them on, but now I’m having second thoughts.”

  We both laughed.

  “I’m sorry I parked the car that far, if I had known, I would have dropped you at the restaurant before.”

  “It’s okay, I brought another pair of shoes. They’re in the car.”

  “Clever!” I laughed again. Heels were never my first choice. Tonight, I had opted for flat ballerina shoes. Cute, comfy and perfect to go dancing.

  I could see Teo waiting outside by the door of the restaurant. His back leaning against the brick wall, he was looking at the opposite direction. How could he look so hot doing nothing but leaning on a wall? The butterflies started to dance in my lower belly and a smile formed on my lips. I was probably blushing too, since the images that popped into my head were not PG-13.

  The memories of his soft touches and his hundreds of kisses in the morning were taking my breath away. Good morning, bella, he whispered into my ear as soon as I opened my eyes. Still in a daze, we made love, yet again, for at least an hour. It felt good. His love, passion and devotion to me were never a let-down. We’d enjoyed christening our bedroom, again and again. Since I received the OK from my doctor, we’d been more than active. Our time apart had been harder than we had thought. The sexual tension between us had been difficult to deal with. My face flushed again. We acted like teenagers pushing the limits of making out. I had to stop him as many times as he had to stop me. Because of the accident and how I lost the baby, the healing took more time than a usual miscarriage. I followed the doctor’s orders because I didn’t want to risk anything.

  “Hey, baby.” I lift me eyes to meet his. My heart fluttered. “Why do you look like... hum... we’ve just made love?”

  Damn it. Could I blush even more? “Because when I saw you, looking all sexy, memories of this morning came up in my mind to haunt me.”

  He groaned. “You want to do it again?”

  “Excuse me... I’m here.” Beverly broke our moment. “Not everybody here can get it on as much as you two.”

  Teo chuckled. “I don’t think it’s a problem for Trevor. I’m pretty sure he would be willing to....”

  “Shut up, Teo. Feed me, now. I’m hungry.” I loved their friendship; almost like a brother and a sister. They bickered in a friendly blend of love and hate.

  Beverly pushed the door opened while Teo gave me a quick kiss on the lips. “You’re beautiful, baby. You know I love that dress.”

  “I do know.” I smirked.

  We sat at our table where a bottle of wine awaited. My stomach growled every thirty seconds, I was so hungry. We had freshly baked warm bread with butter sitting in a basket. I was literally devouring them with my eyes.

  We ordered our meal, drank wine and had a great time. All three of us celebrated the new house. To some people it might be strange that we decided to move in all together, but to us it was the best decision we had ever made. We were happy together and we didn’t want things to change. I needed Beverly, she needed me, and Teo liked to have us around, obviously. It was his idea, after all.

  ... O ...

  Nicki Minaj blasted into the speakers of the club. The dance floor was made of glass with lights of different shades underneath. I loved the effect it created. Hypnotic, I guessed that would be the right word to describe it. The club had changed a lot since the last time we came here for Beverly’s twenty-fourth birthday. I still felt ashamed that I blacked out by the time we got home. Too much to drink on an empty stomach. I had just landed in San Diego that night from a trip to Brazil. I was jetlagged and yet it didn’t stop me. Just the thought of it, it made me yawn.

  “Wanna dance, pretty girl?” The r’s rolled off Teo's tongue. I hoped he would never lose that Italian accent he had. He offered me his hand and I took it without hesitating.

  I spotted Beverly with Trevor, they were talking and flirting. They looked cozy and cute together. A good match.

  “Stop staring, you’re going to make him uncomfortable.” Teo was right. “Let the man be the man she needs.” He winked.

  “Come on, take the lead.” After all, we came here to dance.

  My fingers knotted into his hair while his hands ran down my back to my lower hips. The song had turned into a sensual beat, one that required us to be breathing the same oxygen. Our bodies in sync, his eyes burned into mine with seduction and love. I stepped closer to him, needing to feel him. I wanted him to lead me, own me. His hips moved to the beat of the music and I followed him closely. The crowd was thick with people dancing, but our eyes were locked in an intense gaze. We moved languorously, probably not even club appropriate. I loved being with him, like this, feeling his need for me. It reminded me of our younger days, except n
ow we were a step more open with each other, and we were finally official. Mainly, I wasn’t holding anything back. I hated that I’d had to wait so long, but really I had no regrets. I’d had so many things to achieve before being able to be a hundred percent with him.

  After dancing to at least five rhythmic songs, from Britney Spears or 50 Cent to a remix of The Doors, we let go of all our energy and enjoyed ourselves.

  “Are you tired? Do you want a drink?” Sweat was rolling down the side of his face.

  Yes, most definitely. I thought I was going to pass out or vomit. “Yes, please. Let’s take a break. I’ll have a bottle of water and a cranberry vodka.”

  We walked away from the dance floor to a sitting area where I waited for him to get the drinks. My body was weak and I didn’t understand why. I had eaten a nice dinner and only had two glasses of wine. Maybe, the temperature here was too hot. My body needed to cool down and I wanted water, lots of water.

  While I waited for Teo, I searched for Beverly and Trevor. My curiosity got the best of me. When I found them, they were dancing, kissing and I felt overwhelmed with joy for her. She tried to downplay it, but I knew how much she cared for him. She was falling deeply in love with Trevor and tonight was the proof of it. The lust in her eyes was evident.

  “Here, baby.” He opened the bottle of water and handed it to me.

  I barely took the time to thank him before I chugged half of the bottle. I stopped to breathe only. I felt better afterward, so it must have been the heat.

  “Are you okay?” His voice was filled with anxiety. “Thank God it wasn’t vodka or you would have been drunk at this very moment.”

  “I was thirsty. Thank you.” I took another sip, making sure I was feeling good. My heart hammered against my ribcage, something that never happened to me. “I’m just going to take a break.” I smiled teasingly. “Your dirty dancing got to me.”

  His ego just got bigger, right at this instant. “Ti amo, baby.”

  “I love you too.” I leaned closer to him. He met me half way and we kissed. “I love your kisses.” I feather another on the corner of his mouth. “You are the best kisser ever.”