A Sister's Curse

by Jayne Bamber

  So, too, shall Charlotte in a few months, and he presentation is all she has spoken of since I have been visiting Matlock. Mamma says it was quite the same all summer, and I suppose it must make you consider your own debut, the year after Charlotte’s. I am glad I shall have the two of you to come out ahead of me, and lend me the benefit of your experience.

  Do write again soon, for I am longing to hear that you are more content with your schoolmates. Charlotte and Aunt Phyllis send their love.

  Your loving sister,

  Lizzy Bennet

  ***

  Pemberley, Derbyshire

  4 May, 1806

  Dear Lizzy,

  Happy Birthday, Sister. I am glad to hear you are to come to Matlock again this summer. Mamma says you will come up with Uncle Henry and Aunt Phyllis when they leave London next month. William and Richard were thinking of going into Kent, since they did not visit at Easter, as William was on his Grand Tour, though of course it was a rather curtailed trip. He has asked if I should like to go along and spend some time with Cousin Anne. Uncle Lewis writes that Anne has been ill lately, which as you know simply means that she is out of humor with somebody. However, I believe I ought to go, if William thinks it will cheer her. We shall only stay through half of July, and so if you are still at Matlock then, we shall see one another in Derbyshire after all.

  I received a most astonishing letter last week – would you believe it? From Miss Bingley! She writes that her older sister is lately married, and she is very dull at home with her brother and step-mother, and asks if I would like to visit her in Scarborough this summer. Between the trip to Kent, and your coming to Matlock, I think I had better tell her no, but I am surprised she wrote to me at all, as she never seemed to think much of me when she was at school.

  Ah, here is Mamma at my side, reminding me that William is friends with a Charles Bingley – perhaps a relation? I shall ask William about it. Perhaps Miss Bingley wishes to make some amends, if William is friends with a brother or cousin of hers. In the meanwhile, I think I ought to attempt some civil reply.

  I look forward to hearing the latest news from London – do give my love to Uncle and Rose.

  Your loving sister,

  Jane Darcy

  ***

  Gracechurch Street, London

  17 February, 1807

  Dear Jane,

  Uncle was sorry to receive word from Mamma that you will not be coming to London this season. At least we had Christmas, though it was a shame to see Papa looking so ill – I do hope he is recovered by now, and that is not what has caused you to cancel your journey. Uncle would not say, and just smiled as he does when he is trying not to look unhappy. Aunt Olivia was very disappointed to hear of it – I think she is finally growing fonder of Mamma. She only wishes you would spend more time in London, and I do agree. You ought to have your season!

  At least your upcoming visit from Miss Bingley will give you some consolation, I suppose. I wonder that you could forgive her for being so unkind to you at school, but if she has been the devoted correspondent you paint her as, then I am happy you shall have a friend to come and stay with you at Pemberley. Aunt Olivia is here, asking me to send you her love, and she bids me ask if Miss Bingley will bring her brother to Pemberley? She says she hopes for your sake he is very handsome!

  And now you see, dear Jane, how it would be if you came to stay with us in London! Aunt Olivia would be finding you some ‘very smart beaux’, as Grandmamma would say. She and Aunt Phyllis are doing their best with poor Charlotte, who is enduring her second Season, and quite making me dread the time when my turn comes! I had better leave off here before I am tempted to share with you the shocking tales of Charlotte’s suitors, and utterly dissuade you from ever setting foot in London again!

  Your Loving Sister,

  Lizzy Bennet

  ***

  Pemberley, Derbyshire

  28 June, 1807

  Dear Lizzy,

  So, Charlotte survived her second Season! She has been visiting Pemberley since returning home for the summer, and appears greatly relieved to be out of London. Her disappointment nearly equals my own that you will not be joining us here, too, but I am pleased for your sake that you will finally get to visit Brighton. Aunt Olivia must be delighted – she always looks so very happy when she speaks of the seaside.

  Caroline Bingley has been here with us this past month – even now she is commending my penmanship, and bidding me send you her warm greetings. She is so very elegant herself, so it is quite the compliment. Her brother did accompany her here, but only stayed one night, as he was keen to go with William and some of their friends to the Scottish estate – another project for Uncle Henry. At first, I thought Caroline was rather disappointed to see them go, but now I begin to suspect she is more disappointed to hear that Cousin John is soon to be married. She seemed quite smitten when first they met, but of course he has been promised to Miss Lucy Gainsborough for years.

  We shall certainly be in town for the wedding – until then I must leave off, for I believe I see William’s carriage coming down the lane. Yes, it is him, back from Scotland already!

  Your loving sister,

  Jane Darcy

  PS –

  29 June

  My dear Lizzy, what a fool I was to be writing to you with others in the room! I have left some space so that I might come back now, in privacy, and write you something of the greatest import – I am to be married! About a week ago, my dearest darling sought me out and proposed, and I have accepted him. It has been a great secret between us this past year, but George Wickham and I are in love, and we have been given permission to marry.

  I am sorry for telling you nothing of it sooner – how I feared you would guess it! This is why I did not wish to have a season last year, even though Papa recovered well enough. I could not bear to dance with anyone in London, if I could not have my dear George. But now we are saved! George had been waiting until he might make something of himself, and saw the opportunity when old Mr. Rivers retired, and he resolved to ask Papa for the living at Kympton, so that he might be able to afford to take a wife – me!

  Mamma and Papa agreed, of course. Grandmamma was not best pleased, but Mamma is happy I shall have a love match. Papa was nearly convinced to give George the living, but William came home yesterday, and after sitting half the day with Papa, has convinced him that George had better not go into the church. It was a disappointment, but William believes that I deserve better, and so it has been resolved that George will instead take a commission in the Navy to earn his fortune. Papa is hoping that he will be sent to the Mediterranean or the Adriatic, where he might do well if they capture many merchant vessels. Even though I shall have to wait two long years to marry George, and shall miss him dearly and be frightfully worried – oh, Lizzy, I am still so very happy!

  ***

  Matlock Park, Derbyshire

  20 September, 1808

  Dearest Brother,

  Another summer passes with no visit from the Gardiners, and Pemberley is a very somber place at present. Mr. Darcy is not well, though he attempted to appear so at Christmas. I know he and Anne deeply regretted having seen little of you since then, but they do not wish to beg, Edward. Lizzy is still their daughter, after all these years, and they wish to make it right while there is still time.

  Henry is here at my side, using such language as I cannot dream of putting to paper, but he does wish you would come, if your business will spare you the time. If it is Olivia, I am sure that between Henry’s connections and Lady Eleanor’s, we can keep the entire incident out of the scandal sheets. I hope you are not serious about wanting a divorce. Think of Rose and the twins! I can well imagine you burning the midnight oil in your warehouses or in your study, but if you can do no more than hide from it, you would do better to hide here, and bring Lizzy home at last, if only to say goodbye to her father.

  Your impatient sister,

  Phyllis

  ***

&
nbsp; Pemberley, Derbyshire

  28 September, 1808

  Dear Edward,

  I hardly know what to write, but George is fading fast. He was doing so well last year, but these past few months have been worse than he wished to let on. The girls are inconsolable and wishing for their sister now, and I beg you would bring her in all haste. Whatever it was Jane and Lizzy were fighting about at Christmas must be put aside, for we are all in such a state, and I need my dearest old friend at my side as much as the girls need their sister. Please, Edward.

  Your desperate and devoted friend,

  Anne

  ***

  Gracechurch Street, London

  30 September, 1808

  My dear Lady Anne,

  I received your express only moments ago, and am responding in kind. Of course we will come, Lizzy and I. She is packing a trunk now, and my valet is seeing to mine. I cannot begin to make amends for how the years have got away from us – I’ve been a stupid man indeed, and fully intend to throw myself at your feet and beg your forgiveness, and George’s as well. I have let Olivia break my heart a dozen different ways, when it ought to be Lizzy I put first, and the good of this family, as Henry and George do.

  I can scarcely write, for I am overcome with shame at what I have become, and a tremendous sense of guilt for letting Lizzy slip away from you all. I cannot promise she will want to stay, for she too is still in the awful grip of that useless emotion, as I am sure is all my own doing. I had not wanted to ever speak of it again, but it is time Phyllis told her the truth, the full truth, and have done with it. This time, nothing will be said or done without your approval, lest I make another horrid mess of it.

  I digress – George is in my prayers, as are you and the girls, and poor William, for I know he must be feeling the weight of so much responsibility at a time like this – he is already a better man than I. You shall be ever-present in my thoughts as we travel north in all haste. Until then, God bless you, my friend.

  EG

  ***

  Gracechurch Street, London

  18 April, 1809

  Dear Jane,

  I thought it only right I should write to you, on this, the day we go down to half-mourning for Papa, despite the contents of your last letter. I know it was wrong of me to jest about not having a Season – I only meant to dispel some of the awkwardness at supper when we were at Matlock, but when only Aunt Olivia laughed, I saw how wrong I had been. Oh, why does Christmas always have to be so awful? I know it gives you pain, but William was so very cold to me, and Mamma so very insistent that I come back to Pemberley.

  I cannot do it, Jane. I will not. It would ruin Uncle Edward if I left – Uncle Henry was only just able to persuade him out of seeking a divorce and Aunt Olivia is quite sick over it. I fear she is in some sort of trouble, and I worry for Rose and the twins. Whatever Mamma and Aunt Phyllis may say, I know my place is here, where I can be useful rather than comfortable.

  I am still your sister, Jane, and though I may not see you and Mary often, nor Mamma, I do love you all, and I wish we wrote more often. I beg you do not let Miss Bingley fill your ear with such awful notions of melodrama, and instead simply try. We need not live our lives like a Greek tragedy, no matter what befalls us.

  Well, then. If you are still reading this letter, I can only hope that it means you are of the same mind, and we might be friends again. As such, I shall inform you that I have scored quite a little triumph over our Uncle Henry, and have consequently won a boon of ten pounds. It is an old wager existing between us these many years, and though I am sworn to secrecy as to the particulars, I can tell you that I am now a wealthy woman indeed! I shall save it for now, and buy myself something pretty when it comes time for your wedding.

  Speaking of wealth and weddings, I hear the Amphion captured two merchant vessels in February – what a fine thing for your dear Wickham. I still stand by my resentment of William’s interference in sending the poor man out to sea, when you might have been a happy parson’s wife already, but I was pleased to read in the paper that he and his shipmates have also won quite a boon, and thought instantly of you, my dear sister, and the comfort it must bring you to know that in a few months yet you may be settled, and signing your next letter Jane Wickham – how well that sounds.

  I remember all the fuss Mamma made over Aunt Phyllis’s wedding, and I am fully prepared to do my share of swooning and selecting flowers and fabrics for you, when it is time for you to come to London to purchase your trousseau. Poor Charlotte – if only there was such a man for her!

  I am running out of space on the page, but I send you, Mary, and Mamma all my love, and have enclosed a particularly commendable drawing from little Tom, imagining you and I as pirates on the high seas – you must show it to your Mr. Wickham, for I think it shall give him a hearty laugh.

  Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate’s life for me,

  Lizzy

  PS –

  I have just overheard Uncle Henry in the study with Uncle Edward. Richard is soon for Portugal, and Charlotte and Aunt Phyllis are quite beside themselves. Do write to them of happier tidings.

  ***

  Pemberley, Derbyshire

  14 June, 1809

  Elizabeth,

  I am writing you this letter, after which I must ask you direct your correspondence to Mary or Mamma. To answer your question, Christmases are generally awful when you make them so with your behavior, just as it has been since the year you ran away. You sulk in corners with Charlotte, whispering of curses, or strut about like Aunt Olivia, flaunting your irreverent wit. William says you have grown far too like her, and he tried to warn you. How can you begrudge his interference in Wickham’s career, when he was only trying to help us? He has been the kindest, most attentive brother since you left, and if you had stayed, if you were here to see it, you would know how very wrong you are to judge him.

  Meanwhile, you make light of everything going on about you, boasting of money and secrets with Uncle, professing your loyalty to those who, quite frankly, do not deserve it, defaming a very dear friend of mine – and you clearly have not learned your lesson about eavesdropping, either! Richard going to war merits only a postscript, and you go on about Charlotte remaining unmarried, when Aunt Olivia wounded her so at Christmas – she is so very plain, you needn’t always remind her of it, and put yourself forward to outshine her. It breaks our mother’s heart to think you are growing up so like Aunt Olivia, and I am ashamed of you.

  I threw your letter directly into the fire, and if you write again I will not open it first before doing the same again. I beg you do not come to Pemberley and spoil another Christmas this year.

  Jane Darcy

  ***

  Pemberley, Derbyshire

  11 November, 1809

  Dearest Lizzy,

  I have wanted to write you this letter for so long, have prayed about it, and wept over unfinished drafts. At last, today, I believe I have found the strength to sit down here at my desk again, and finish what I start. Pemberley has been a wretched place for so long – it would pain Mamma for me to say it, but you and Charlotte did well to go with Aunt Phyllis to Bath this summer, instead of coming north, even if you did have to bear Aunt Catherine and Cousin Anne – wicked of me to say, but I know you agree.

  In truth, I think Mamma is rather avoiding Aunt Catherine - but I am sure you have heard all about it, in Bath. I imagine she is still quite put out with all the de Bourgh relations that have been vexing her since Sir Lewis passed, but now she begins to write Mamma that William must marry Cousin Anne; Mamma does not like it, but she only demurs, saying it would not be right to talk of weddings at all, with Jane in such a state.

  You must have heard by now, George Wickham was lost at sea in May, and you may have surmised that Jane had recently learned of it around the time she received, and burned, your letter. I was with her when she read it, and I retrieved it from the fire in time to have seen a glimpse of it. No doubt, you see that all your talk of wedding plan
s was particularly painful for her.

  She has been entirely disconsolate for months – indeed, she still feels Papa’s loss as keenly as we all do, and to lose George so soon – she is in a sorry state indeed, and I can only guess that she lashed out at you. I would beg you forgive her. Leave her be for a time, but I know that one day she will come to regret her anger toward you, misplaced as it was. All I ask is that when the time comes, you forgive her with open arms, because her heart is completely shattered right now, and the rest of us are nearly just as wretched.

  I miss you so very much Lizzy, even though I believe you have done right in staying away. I know Mamma longs to see you again, and it is my secret wish that she might be persuaded to go to London soon, for we are out of mourning for Papa, and Aunt Phyllis says you are to have a little Season this spring. I have been deflecting all of Aunt’s hints about my coming out next season – in truth, Charlotte is the only one in the family who has had a Season, and it sounds rather dreadful by her account of it. I should much rather come to London and be very snug together, as we once were, long ago. Do you not miss those days?

  I shall let you know if I have any success in my scheme for London, as I really believe it would be such a fine thing for all of us who desperately need such cheering. In the meantime, do send me another reading list, for I have completed the list you gave me at Christmas, and you have excellent taste!