A Sister's Curse

by Jayne Bamber

  He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and waited for Jane to finally meet his eye. “I do not deserve your forgiveness, Jane, but I must beg it of you anyhow.”

  Jane shook her head at him. “How can I forgive such deception? What explanation can you possibly offer me for what you have done?”

  “Only that I was trying to protect you,” he said.

  “To protect me? You have humiliated me, and that you thought I needed to be thus shielded only deepens my shame. I cannot understand why you could not tell me the truth. Our conversation yesterday ought to have taken place five years ago. It sickens me to think of all the years of pointless misery I have endured, and that you, whom I have loved as a true brother, and trusted as I have our father, you have brought this on me – to what end?”

  “It is true, you ought to have been made to understand the truth, and all I can say in my defense is that I love you, Sister, and I have feared losing your esteem since the moment that monster George Wickham staked his own claim on your gentle heart. I knew what he was, an artful and selfish creature, a depraved man, a spendthrift and a wastrel, and many times I nearly fell out with our father over him.”

  “This is true,” Richard admitted to Jane. “We have always known what he was like.”

  “You must not think yourself any more deceived by him than our father,” Darcy sighed. “Father knew Wickham all his life, and supported him until the last. If I could not convince him that Wickham was a scoundrel, how could I hope to persuade a young girl in love?”

  Fresh tears slid down Jane’s face, and as Richard attempted to soothe her, Darcy turned to Elizabeth. She offered him the trace of a sad smile, and laced her fingers with his.

  “When I saw how he had deceived you, just as he had our father, I realized I had not been the sort of brother I ought to have been. I thought that the best I could do to atone for my failure was to shield you from Wickham’s true nature. I knew he would disgrace you if he went into the church, a man with his proclivities. And, in truth, I fought hard for our father to push Wickham toward a naval career because I hoped... I hoped he would die at sea. In that way, you might have held on to whatever happy memories you had of him, without having to experience the calamity of ever becoming his wife.”

  Jane covered her face with her hands and continued to weep, and Darcy leaned forward, whispering, “Whatever pain you are feeling now would have been manifested a hundred times over if you had married him, Jane, I swear it.”

  Jane lowered her hands from her face, which was contorted with misery. “Why was it for you to decide, to gamble with my life, my heart? My life had been a lie these five years,” she cried, and Darcy recoiled from her outburst. “You tell me I have been pining for a man whose true nature you kept hidden from me, that every day I spent in mourning, you made the choice to continue your deception, and I am supposed to be grateful for your protection?”

  “It has been my duty to protect you,” Darcy said, trying to subdue his frustration. He stood and began to pace the room. “I was so young when we lost Father, Jane. At three and twenty I became not only the master of Pemberley, bearing the myriad responsibilities which that entails, but the head of our family besides. All this, and my heart was broken at his passing. I was trying to survive, Jane, to do my best for all those dependent on me. I know I have not been perfect, I have made mistakes, but the grief in my heart was still fresh when Wickham came crawling back, asking for more money… that must be some defense, if I may be permitted to make any. I knew you shared my grief over Father, and I thought that to include Wickham in that grief a better thing for you than to mourn father while discovering the truth of George Wickham’s character. I have tried to be a true brother to you, Jane, and if the decision I made to protect you was the wrong choice, I have made it out of love. I would halve any burden of yours, bear it all myself, even….”

  Darcy broke off, feeling tears begin to prick at his own eyes, and though Jane would not look at him, Elizabeth sat regarding him with a look of dismay, her hand extended toward him. He moved toward her, capturing her hand in his, and Elizabeth stood to embrace him. “Oh William,” she breathed. “I never knew – I never thought of what you must have suffered. I believed you devoid of every proper feeling, berated you every time I visited, and yet, I see now how you bore it with such fortitude….” She stood on her toes to plant a quick kiss on his cheek, her little fingers grazing his neck, before she turned and knelt in front of her sister.

  “Oh, Jane,” Elizabeth sighed. “William is right, you know. If I, of all people, can see it now… you must believe it, Jane. We were all suffering our own private pain, and look where it has gotten us. You have devoted yourself to the love of a man that did not exist, just as I have spent so many years despising a man I did not even know. We have invested our emotion in mere illusions, and I….” Elizabeth’s voice began to crack, though she did not shed any tears as she laid her head on Jane’s lap. “I am so sorry.”

  Richard looked up at Darcy, his brow knot with worry and remorse, and he nodded. Darcy moved toward them, offering Elizabeth his hand to help her to her feet. “We are past that now, my love,” he whispered to her.

  “I suppose we are,” she replied. “But it is a choice we have had to make. To put the past away, to really see one another, after looking at everything through the fog of so many years of sorrow….” She stroked his cheek again before looking down at Jane. “Do you see, dearest?”

  Jane wiped the tears from her face and let out a shaky breath as she looked up at Darcy. “Yes, but… it still hurts.”

  “Jane, Wickham was destined to hurt you from the minute he saw what I did not, that you had blossomed into a woman. The pain you are feeling now, after years of healing, would have left a deeper wound then, than it shall now, I would stake my life on it, because in all those years you have grown stronger. I cannot defend my actions any further, except to say that I am proud of the woman I have watched you become these five years. I believe that you are a woman who will fight for her own happiness. Whether that includes my forgiveness, I cannot say, but I have done what I have done out of love, and I pray that someday you will see it as such.”

  Richard looked thoughtfully at Darcy, and addressed himself to Jane. “My love,” he said, taking her hands in his. “Think on this – If you had known what Wickham was, could you have ever opened your heart to me?”

  “I... I do not know. If you had intervened five years ago... oh, William, I was already so in love with George by then. I might not have listened to you – it might have been me he tried to carry off to Gretna. I would not have been so easily persuaded to throw him off in favor of Richard, because I could not love him until my heart had been broken and made new.” She looked hesitantly from Darcy to Richard. “I do not know what my life would have been like if William had separated George and I sooner, but I know it would not be much like the life I have now, and until yesterday morning I rather liked that life.”

  Richard’s face contorted with despair. “Until yesterday? Jane, do you no longer wish to marry me?”

  “Of course I do,” she gasped. “Oh dear – what I meant to say is that, well... Lizzy is right. We have all been fooled by illusions in our years of grief. We have all failed to understand one another. You told me this morning, Lizzy, that you will not let what Wickham has done change you. I rather like that, but you are stronger and braver than I, and I do not know if I can do it.”

  “I did not know if I could do it, either,” Elizabeth admitted. “I was already in the middle before I knew I had begun. But you might have the advantage, in learning from my foolishness.”

  Darcy heaved a heavy sigh. He was not one for making such speeches, and the force of his emotion left him feeling depleted. There was one woman in the world whose love and forgiveness he could depend upon, and without her at his side, both in body and spirit, he knew not how he would get on. “If I could do it all again, Jane, I would have sent Wickham away as soon as he began to
woo you, forced Uncle Henry to sell the Scottish pile sooner to keep Richard out of the army, and even now I should be bouncing one of your children on my knee. In that respect, I know I have robbed you of much, and know I can never fully make amends. I am sorry, Jane.”

  Elizabeth and Richard both nodded encouragingly at Jane, and finally she stood and wrapped her arms around Darcy. “Oh, Brother,” she cried. “Oh, my dear brother. All shall be well, if only because Lizzy commands it.”

  Elizabeth laughed, and added her own arms to their embrace, whispering gentle assurances to Jane that all would indeed be well.

  When Jane pulled away from him, Richard stepped forward and extended his hand for Darcy to shake. “I cannot say I would have done much better in your position, Darcy, such as it was at the time. If Jane can forgive you, so must I. And now, I think perhaps you had better leave us.”

  Darcy signaled his agreement, and Elizabeth gave Jane a parting kiss on the cheek before taking William’s hand and leading him out of the room.

  ***

  Elizabeth and William enjoyed a private moment in the corridor, and were interrupted a moment later by Charlotte stepping out of her father’s study. She smirked at their passionate embrace and shook her head. “Amateurs.”

  Elizabeth laughed and swatted at her cousin. “Ah, but we have permission.”

  Charlotte merely rolled her eyes at Elizabeth, and glanced up at William. “Father knows you are here, for Grandmamma has given you up. He is asking for you, but fear not – our lady grandmother has teased him into some semblance of his usual humor. You ought to go in; the negotiations have turned rather serious, and I have been kicked out of the proceedings. I should not deprive my brothers of their time with Jane and Caroline, but I would steal Lizzy….”

  William looked down at Elizabeth with a twinkle of mirth in his eyes. “I had better go in; I feel rather responsible for poor Elliot.”

  “As well you should! Is this not the very outcome we desired?”

  “Lizzy, you sly thing!” Charlotte giggled, and looped her arm through Elizabeth’s and led her out to the garden. “I should warn you,” Charlotte teased, “that if Father’s window is open, he shall hear every word we say.”

  Elizabeth laughed. “Do you intend to tell me anything more shocking than that you have attempted to elope?”

  “I could,” Charlotte said, and waggled her eyebrows.

  Elizabeth gasped. “No!”

  Charlotte grinned at her. “I shall only say this, Lizzy: John may have intercepted us by last evening, but I am marrying a man of strong passions, and it is particularly imperative that we do wed.”

  “Charlotte!” Elizabeth laughed, and blushed to think of the thoughts she had recently come to harbor of William.

  “Suffice it to say, if you need any advice before your wedding....” She leaned in and whispered to Elizabeth a great many things far more shocking than even William’s most detailed letters had contained, and Elizabeth was red all over and rather warm inside by the end of it.

  When at last they went back inside, William was just emerging from the study with Elliot, the earl, and the countess. Elizabeth went to him at once, her head and heart still aflutter from Charlotte’s information. “I hope the earl was not too severe upon you,” she whispered in his ear. “Although, if he was, I should have to offer you some consolation….”

  William wrapped his arms around her. “I ought to say he was ghastly, if only to enjoy your comfort,” he whispered back. “However, he was not difficult to reason with, and I believe he will be generous to them. After all, he has accomplished his great mission, and now has five weddings in the family to look forward to.”

  Elizabeth laughed, running her fingers through William’s hair. “He ought to be the happiest man alive!”

  They were alone in the corridor, and William kissed Elizabeth, giving her bottom a generous squeeze. “No, my love – I am the happiest man alive.”

  Elizabeth brushed her lips against his neck, her hands working their way into his coat. “If you are not,” she breathed, “I shall make sure that you very soon will be.”

  Epilogue

  August 1812, Netherfield Park, Hertfordshire

  Mary and Charles Bingley returned from their honeymoon in want of some society. Two blissful weeks passed, full of all the lively activities a summer in the country could promise for five newlywed couples, as well as the earl, countess, and dowager countess of Matlock, Lady Anne Darcy, Sir Edward, and Rose Gardiner.

  Yet none of them could be happier, in his estimation, than the Bingleys’ neighbor and cousin, William Collins, who felt himself quite the mastermind of the whole scheme; when Sir Edward and Lady Anne announced their engagement at supper one night, he knew it was time that he, the only man amongst them not experiencing or anticipating marital bliss, took some action to change that.

  As the gentlemen lingered after supper with cigars and brandy, it was no secret that his seven merry companions were wishing every moment to return to their ladies, but Williams Collins could not be satisfied until he knew he should leave the room with just as much a right to such happy hopes as the rest of them. He began by addressing himself to Darcy. “You told me in April, sir, that if ever there was a favor I could ask of you....”

  Darcy nodded encouragingly at him. “Yes, of course.”

  “In fact, there is something I should like to ask of you, Cousin.”

  “You preserved my wife from danger – you may ask me anything,” Darcy said earnestly.

  Mr. Collins grinned at him as their companions looked on with interest. “I should like to ask if you have any interest in buying Longbourn. A belated wedding present for Lizzy, perhaps – and a worthy investment should you have a second son.”

  “Let him get through the first one, Will,” Richard laughed.

  Darcy puffed thoughtfully at his cigar. “It is a worthy notion, though I could wish it closer to Derbyshire.”

  “It is close to family,” Charles playfully protested. “I am fond of Netherfield, even if it is three days’ journey north to see the rest of you lot.” He laughed to himself. “Perhaps if Mary and I have a daughter, and she is half as pretty as her mother, your second son might not think it a punishment to have Longbourn.”

  “No more wedding planning, I beg of you, sir,” the earl cried, laughing into his third glass of brandy.

  “I can hardly give you an answer at present, though I can guess what my wife will tell me,” Darcy mused with a smirk. “Let us meet tomorrow, and have a good look at the place. I should like to know your price.”

  “And I should like to know,” Sir Edward chortled, “Where you mean to live, sir? Are you still so keen on London?”

  “I am, sir, and I have just the place in mind.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Number twenty-six, Upper Brook Street.”

  “I was not aware my house was for sale,” Sir Edward laughed.

  “Yet I had understood that Cousin Darcy was to make the dower house at Pemberley ready to receive you and your bride,” Mr. Collins countered. He sipped nervously at his brandy, his throat burning, wishing Sir Edward might seriously consider what he was summoning the courage to ask.

  “It is true, I will be spending less time in London when Anne and I are wed.”

  “And Rose shall be very sorry for it. Yet think of what our life might be, if we were to reside there. We might be as custodians to the house until young Tom is of age, more than ten years hence. By that time, the money I could invest in Gardiner and Collins Imports, from selling Longbourn, would surely redouble, and then I could buy her the palace she deserves.”

  “A palace, eh?” The earl winked at Collins, and he wondered what he had said amiss.

  Sir Edward set aside his cigar and steepled his fingers as he leveled a curious glance at Mr. Collins. “Well, now, as to all that… I thought you would never ask.”

  ***

  Lady Eleanor had a great deal of advice for Charlotte on how to ensu
re her child would be healthy – and male – and she had been dispensing it at length to the entire room, insisting that after so many weddings, it was quite impossible that Charlotte could be the only young lady present in need of such comprehensive instruction. Elizabeth Darcy felt her hands drifting toward her belly, but she caught herself – she could not betray anything, not until she was sure, and then she hoped for some chance to tell William in private, before Lady Eleanor wheedled it out of her.

  Jane and Mary seemed to be bearing the turn of conversation with some composure, though poor Caroline Fitzwilliam was not yet accustomed to the dowager countess’s forthrightness.

  “Mamma,” Lady Anne sighed, squeezing at her temples as she always did when her mother’s exuberance became too much for her. “Surely Rose should not be hearing these things.”

  “I am sure she should,” Lady Eleanor said unapologetically. “I was already a mother at her age, and mistress of Matlock besides. Keep up, my dear,” she said, giving Rose a quick wink.

  “She is seventeen,” the countess chided. “I know very well, Mamma, that you did not even wed until twenty.”

  Lady Eleanor waved her away. “Oh, who can remember! And you, Miss Rose – I have my eye on you,”

  The drawing room doors opened, and the gentlemen all poured into the room, each of them with someone to seek out directly. Uncle Edward lingered near the door, gesturing to his daughter. “Rose, my dear, come here. Mr. Collins wishes a private word with you – he is in the library.” He gave her an affectionate pat on the cheek as she hastened from the room, while Lady Eleanor threw back her shoulders and gave them all a look of triumph.

  William made his way to Elizabeth’s side, and leaned in to whisper to her, “I had hoped we might escape there ourselves tonight – what say you, my love?”