Cowgirl Power

by Gay Gaddis

  Copyright © 2018 by Gay Gaddis, LLC

  Cover Design by T3. Cover Photo by Mark Seliger. Cover copyright © 2018 by Hachette Book Group, Inc.

  Hachette Book Group supports the right to free expression and the value of copyright. The purpose of copyright is to encourage writers and artists to produce the creative works that enrich our culture.

  The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book without permission is a theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like permission to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), please contact permissions@hbgusa.com. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

  Center Street

  Hachette Book Group

  1290 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10104

  centerstreet.com

  twitter.com/centerstreet

  First Edition: January 2018

  Center Street is a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc. The Center Street name and logo are trademarks of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

  The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.

  The Hachette Speakers Bureau provides a wide range of authors for speaking events. To find out more, go to www.HachetteSpeakersBureau.com or call (866) 376-6591.

  LCCN: 2017950898

  ISBNs: 978-1-4789-4821-6 (hardcover), 978-1-4789-4823-0 (ebook)

  E3-20171212-NF-DA

  Contents

  Cover

  Title

  Copyright

  A Cowgirl Is...

  Preface

  Photo of Bonnie McCarroll

  Introduction

  Photo of Bessie Herberg

  Chapter 1: Personal Power Is the Answer

  Photo of Three Girls and Mandy

  Chapter 2: Finding My Own Power—The Early Days

  Photo of Florence LaDue

  Chapter 3: Finding My Own Power—The Advertising Business

  Photo of Fox Hastings

  Chapter 4: Cowgirls Are Responsible for Themselves

  Photo of Annie Oakley

  Chapter 5: Cowgirls Build Their Own Competence

  Photo of Mildred Douglas Chrisman

  Chapter 6: Cowgirls Use Competence to Find Confidence

  Photo of Prairie Rose Henderson

  Chapter 7: Cowgirls Design Their Own Lives

  Photo of Mabel Strickland

  Chapter 8: Cowgirls Build a Kick-Ass Culture

  Photo of Sonora Carver

  Chapter 9: Cowgirls Know a Good Idea When They See One

  Photo of Alice Sisty

  Chapter 10: Cowgirls Are Fearless Leaders

  Photo of Cowgirls at the British Exhibition

  Chapter 11: Cowgirls Are Doing Just Fine

  Photo of Mamie Francis Hafley

  Cowgirl Power Toolkit Cowgirls Are Responsible for Themselves

  Cowgirls Build Their Own Competence

  Cowgirls Use Their Competence to Find Assertiveness

  Design Your Own Life

  Cowgirls Build a Kick-Ass Culture

  Cowgirls Know a Good Idea When They See One

  Cowgirls Are Fearless Leaders

  Notes

  Newsletters

  Preface

  You may not know it, but there is a cowgirl within you. I wrote this book because of the strength, courage, and life lessons I have learned from historic cowgirls and modern day cowgirls, and I couldn’t wait to share these inspirational stories with you to help you find your own unique, personal power.

  By finding and understanding your personal power, you can achieve more than you have ever imagined. As you read this book, put all of the negativity about women’s success, or lack of, behind you, and look to a bold future.

  My goal for each reader is to help you understand and gain your unique personal power. Why? Because it will give you more choices and opportunities throughout your life. It will minimize your fears and give you the strength and courage to grab the brass ring when it comes around.

  You may ask, what do historic cowgirls have to teach us in this day and age? I hope you will come to admire these cowgirls and the women who have blazed a trail for you.

  Cowgirls have a braveness, authenticity, and grit that I see reflected in powerful women today. I come from a long line of cowgirls. My mother was a cowgirl. My mother-in-law was a cowgirl. They were tough, strong people who grew up during the heyday of America’s cowgirl superstars in the 1920s and 1930s. These cowgirls, and their inner strength, are symbols and guides for the challenges we face today.

  As I look back at how I built my advertising agency, T3, from the ground up I think we intuitively understood this. I can see it now and want to help others understand how we created a unique culture that empowers people—men and women as equal partners in navigating this thing called life with grace and love.

  Thanks to our three children, Ben, Rebecca, Sam, and my husband, Lee Gaddis, for putting up with a hard-charging Texas woman and being inspirational leaders in their own right. Thanks to my friends and extended family for their unwavering support.

  My heartfelt thanks to the wonderful people I have had the privilege to work with at T3 through the years. We have learned so much together. You have all taught me the power of talented, creative, strong people who genuinely care about each other. And to the many clients who put their careers and companies in our hands, and for the mutual trust and respect we have shared.

  I made the decision not to name T3 employees in this book, simply because there are too many. So I honor you all instead.

  This book is dedicated to Lee. He is my true partner in all aspects of business and life. A mentor, champion, humorist, Texas cowboy rancher, and a big character! We make things happen in miraculous ways.

  Bonnie McCarroll thrown from Silver

  (Historic Photo Archive/Getty Images)

  Introduction

  This is one of the most famous images in cowgirl history. It was taken during the 1915 Pendleton Round-Up in Oregon and shows Bonnie McCarroll being thrown in the heat of competition by a horse named Silver. She just sums up the determination, grit, and competitive nature of cowgirls, and that is what this book is all about. How can we all draw upon their courage and find our own personal power to be able to kick ass in our careers and lives?

  Bonnie embodies all of this and more. In 1922, she went on to win the cowgirl bronc riding championship at Cheyenne Frontier Days and at the first Madison Square Garden Rodeo. She grew up on a small stage and wasn’t afraid to scale up to the big stage. She fearlessly and boldly performed before kings, queens, and presidents. After being thrown, she climbed back on and continued to perform. She never, never gave up, and even died trying to compete on a wild bronc in 1929.

  If you walk into the rotunda at the National Cowgirl Museum and Hall of Fame in Fort Worth, Texas, you see amazing images and exhibits about historic cowgirls like Bonnie McCarroll. If you look closely throughout the rotunda, you will see words that define who these women were.

  Admired. Fearless. Visionary. Steadfast. Dependable. Original. Resourceful. Bold. Clever. Genuine. Skillful. True. Dauntless. Adventurous. Focused. Independent. Confident. Creative. Dedicated. Hardworking. Spirited. Trustworthy. Determined. Honored. Earnest. Passionate. Natural. Celebrated. Authentic.

  I have read those words over and over again. They are the perfect definition of cowgirl power. It was true for our historic cowgirls. It is true today. You just need to reach down into your gut and pull it out. Cowgirl power is about taking responsibility for yourself and finding the personal power that is within you. It slaps down the traditional, sometimes negative, definitions of power and says by finding your inner personal power you open up a world of possibilities.

  Cowgirls, my true heroin
es, are our trail guides through this book. Each chapter begins with a profile of a cowgirl, teaching us by her example about her own wonderful strengths and power. I also share my own stories to show you how I found my personal power. And, each step of the way, from my childhood through my early career, and later as an experienced CEO and leader, I give you guidance on how to do it in your own unique way.

  All of this unfolds as I tell my stories. It is real-life success and failure told with a lot of candor, heart, and good old Texas humor. I encourage you to read the book with sticky notes or a big highlighter. Nothing would make me happier than to see your book with lots of flags and notes written in the margins. I encourage you to flag things that resonate with you. All of these ideas are where I gained my personal power. Not all of them will be right for you. But I guarantee some will touch you deeply.

  The last section of the book is the Cowgirl Toolkit, and it condenses most of the big ideas in the book into brief summaries. Compare the notes you took while reading the book and see which ideas apply to you now, or maybe a few months or years from now.

  This book is not about changing you. You are just fine. It is about understanding your strengths, building on them, valuing them, and giving yourself credit for what you have achieved and what you will achieve. I do not tell you what you should do. If you want to stay home and raise your children, that’s great. If you want to build a distinguished career, that’s great. If you want to do both, I’m all for it. What I can give you is the ability to see yourself and build your personal power, which will result in you filling buckets and buckets full of goodwill. That goodwill will create so many opportunities for you so, no matter what you do, you will have lots and lots of amazing options.

  Bessie Herberg portrait

  (Buffalo Bill Center of the West, Cody, Wyoming, USA; P.6.0611)

  Chapter 1

  Personal Power Is the Answer

  Bessie Herberg’s portrait embodies the essence of cowgirl power. She looks you straight in the eye, walks in with her hat firmly planted on her head, and exudes a sense of personal style and fashion. While many of the cowgirls in this book are pretty rough-and-tumble types, Bessie tells us that it is OK to be a bit of a fashionista if it helps your career and, of course, if it is authentically you. I can tell you, Bessie was authentic! Her character, appearance, and talents gave her personal power.

  She is also one of the more than 450 women who worked for Wild West shows and rodeos between the 1890s and the1930s. These cowgirls were among the first professional athletes in the United States. They learned their horseback riding and roping skills while growing up on farms and ranches, doing the same work as their fathers and brothers.

  When the opportunity came to travel, and make the big time, in many cases on an international stage, they didn’t blink an eye. They were decisive and said, “Let ’er rip!” They rode in the arena and competed with anyone on the rodeo circuit. When recognizing the best of the best, these gals didn’t let gender get in the way of a win. They drew on their own personal power and led the way for us all.

  As I studied the powerful cowgirls of our past, I was energized and emboldened, yet humbled. They provide just the kind of role models I believe we can all learn from. The cowgirls will inspire you and help you see a path that perhaps you hadn’t seen before. Let them be your guides. Let them speak to you like no one else can, through their courage, kindness and deeds, competitiveness and authenticity.

  Challenges Women Face in the Workplace Today

  I wrote this book because I wanted to help today’s women, especially young women, find more of my cowgirls’ strength and personal power in their work and family life. I have watched young mothers go through their pregnancies and then face the realities of having a job and a new baby. I have seen very capable women not be as forceful about managing their careers as their male counterparts. I have seen women lose their ambition to take C-suite leadership roles. But I have also seen women who somehow managed it all and succeeded beyond all measure. Why does it work well for some and not so well for others?

  I have spent a lot of my time over the past ten years encouraging women to pursue careers in business. I am a member of Paradigm for Parity (P4P)—a coalition of women who want to speed up the pace of gender parity in C-suites and on boards. In 2016, P4P published a white paper, which is a thoughtful list of recommendations of changes that business leaders should make to help the cause. I have attended countless seminars on women’s issues, discussing changes that need to be made. I wholeheartedly support all of these initiatives.

  But I am struck by one thing; none of these initiatives say anything about what women need to do to help themselves. All of the recommendations in the Paradigm for Parity white paper1 are things that others should do. There are no recommendations for individual women. The research studies and magazine articles about women’s pay, admission to the C-suites, and being passive and not assertive are endless. They are the most powerful indicator of what is wrong. They do not ask women to buck up. That creates a huge gaping hole in the dialogue. For women to excel in their careers, they need to take on most of the responsibility themselves. By only focusing on what other people should do, they weaken their credibility.

  That is not the cowgirl way.

  As I researched the issues, I found other challenges women face. Women say they have a hard time seeing themselves as leaders. They struggle with their self-confidence. Fortune, the New York Times, Forbes, and Inc. all have countless stories about women’s lack of confidence. Women’s issues with hesitating to ask for deserved promotions and equitable pay are well known.

  Here are these smart, capable women who are struggling with work–life balance issues, issues about their inner strength. They have trouble seeing themselves as leaders. Many are dissatisfied with their senior leadership at work. Many are dissatisfied with the work environment and culture.

  My problem with all of this is that no personal solutions are ever offered. The most frequent recommendations are that management needs to try harder, recruit more, and do better training. That companies should put more value on diversity. People have been advocating all of that for twenty years with little, if any, impact. I even read one article entitled “7 Ways to Build Your Confidence” that suggested women eat better and exercise more. Give me a break!

  The more I thought about it, the more perplexed I got. Why have women not excelled as well as men in the work environment? Why are there so few senior women executives and so few women board members of major corporations when women outnumber men today in college educations and perform well academically?

  At first, I thought, it has to be the baby thing. Women have babies as their careers start to develop, and babies come along and derail the career. However, I realize that there are many successful working mothers, so we cannot put all of the emphasis on children being the root cause of women’s apparent lack of success.

  I have been a can-do, confident, and a little outrageous person my whole life. So why did I not experience this lack of self-confidence, when so many other women do? Where did my moxie come from? I just powered through the baby issues. Sure, it was tough and challenging, but I never considered leaving the business world. Not once.

  As I worked through these questions, I began to see all of these issues as symptoms of a larger issue. I came to one simple revelation—that we all have been talking about the wrong issue. All of these challenges are symptoms, not the real problem. The real problem is that many women do not understand how to build and use personal power as instinctively as men do.

  What Is Personal Power?

  Max Weber defined power as “the ability to control others, events, or resources; to make happen what one wants to happen in spite of obstacles, resistance, or opposition.”2

  Our traditional perception about power in business comes from authority, hierarchy, almost a military-like top-down approach to business. For some situations, like the military, that works great. But for today’s collabo
rative, creative economy, it can be counterproductive at best.

  The power I am describing is not bestowed on you by someone else, it comes from within yourself. It comes from inspiration, charisma, and leadership. It comes from friendship, teamwork, an open heart, and an abundance of goodwill. It comes from humor and character and grit.

  We will not find our power reciting statistics about how little progress we have made. Or harping on lack of direction or mentorship. Or lecturing on what someone else should do. We will find our power with our skills that are perfectly aligned with the drivers of today’s economy—collaboration, innovation, and emotional intelligence.

  We will find our power in financial success, profits. Power in imagination, creativity. In empathy, mentoring, leading. Power is there for the taking, and more often than not it comes from connecting with people and offering a hand up. This is a vast, largely untapped source of power for women to draw on that is completely natural, authentic, abundant, and accessible to all, regardless of their position in life.

  I am advocating a more thoughtful, strategic approach to building personal power and believe it is the single most important issue facing women and their careers today. This is a new perspective to see our skills, emotions, and intellect in ways that help women appreciate their innate strengths and build upon them. This new perspective about what personal power is will enable women to take on the business world with confidence, self-assurance, and moxie by being who they really are.

  When women learn to see these strengths in themselves, they will quickly see that they are just as capable as the men in their organizations, perhaps more so.

  Why Is Power Important?

  If you understand business negotiations, you know the answer. Most of your interactions with people in your life are negotiations. Maybe not negotiations in the classic business sense, but negotiations nonetheless. Where are we going to lunch? Are we going to have children? Where are we going on vacation? I deserve a promotion and a raise; do you agree?