Cowgirl Power

by Gay Gaddis

  Speaking with some female university students, one told me that she gave a presentation with three other female students in a class. Afterward, at the critique, they were told they looked good together when they presented. What? She and I were both exasperated that there was not more specific feedback about their content and their ideas. Cowgirls continue to ask questions until they get useful answers.

  Round Up Your Rough Riders

  Who is your coach? Who is your trainer? If the answer is always “my boss” you are going to come up short. My advice to you is to read this book and then go about building your own feedback system. Do not wait for someone to do it for you. Start a small group of people who will tell you the truth, and ask for their feedback. Think of this group of trusted souls as your “Rough Riders.” They are there to give you insights to make you more powerful. Who else is going to tell you if you are not speaking with enough authority? Who else will challenge your logic? How are you going to improve if you don’t understand your strengths and weaknesses?

  You reciprocate by being a Rough Rider for each other. Think about the power of this. Think about what an impact it could make on your life and career. Think about having three or four trusted people who will give you candid feedback every day—positive and negative. Team up with your Rough Riders and build on some of the ideas in the section of the book entitled “The Cowgirl Power Toolkit.”

  Try the Rough Rider idea. You will be amazed what it can do for you. And, I promise, you’ll have fun and kick some ass.

  Don’t Dally Around—Be Decisive

  Make decisions quickly and move on. Perhaps the deadliest sin in our businesses is to allow ourselves to agonize over decisions for weeks and months. For example, in our sixteen-year relationship with Dell, the mantra was to get things 80 percent right and execute fast before the market dynamics changed. In those days, prices of computers were falling rapidly. Being at the wrong price point in a monthly catalog could spell disaster. If you wait to get that last 20 percent perfect, you set yourself up to lose. Big-time.

  Do what you can do and then go. Always default toward action. You can iterate, improve, tomorrow. What you get done today is what counts. On this point, you can actually see iteration on your mobile phone as the software companies issue update after update. They should stop calling them updates and call them evolutions.

  I have seen people pause and freeze in business situations. For example, in my business, the one fatal error is to hold on to overhead when you know your revenue is coming down. We sometimes hope that we can reel in that new piece of business to cover for a loss. If you are lucky, that can happen, but you cannot count on it. My position has always been to cut your losses fast. Carefully and precisely, but fast. You can always rebuild when that next piece of business is signed, sealed, and delivered.

  One time, in order to cut overhead, I was going over all of our “nice but not necessary” expenses with my CFO. One item stood out. It was “Candy Friday.” Candy Friday was a much-loved tradition where at 10 a.m. every Friday, the bell would ring and bowls of candy magically appeared in the company café. Everyone would stream from their offices, pick out one or two of their favorite treats (some filled up paper cups) while laughing and visiting with their co-workers. I thought, well, we can certainly do without that. Besides, all that candy was bad for people anyway. So I cut it out to economize. No big deal, right?

  The first Friday that the candy bowls disappeared was quite devastating. You would have thought I had shot someone’s dog in front of our office building. People were outraged! It was at that moment that I realized Candy Friday had become a part of our culture, an icon of our camaraderie and team spirit. It was that special moment each Friday where we began to celebrate the week, exchanged laughs with our team, and got ready for the weekend. The candy was back by the next Friday. I found other ways to cut the budget. So, sometimes a bad decision has to be reversed. Do it as quickly as you can to mitigate the damage. People will forgive and forget.

  Women get hung up on perfectionism because they were taught to be more poised and polite, and to make better grades in school than those rowdy boys. Girls were cleaner, more buttoned up, and not as loud. That worked great in the structured school environment. But when young women are thrown to the wolves in the business world, they often dither too much. They want each report to be perfect and fuss over it too long. They don’t answer questions unless they know the answer with certainty. Bob Sullivan and Hugh Thompson, the authors of The Plateau Effect, call this tendency the “enemy of the good,” leading as it does to hours of wasted time. The irony is that striving to be perfect actually keeps us from getting much of anything done.

  Get it as good as you can and then move on.

  There is a lot of data out there that women often do not apply for jobs or promotions unless they meet every criterion. If they are not a perfect match, they do not apply. Men are not as hung up on perfection and rarely limit themselves. Men take risks. Cowgirls, like our Dell clients, understand that there are times when you get it about 80 percent right and go for it. This does not mean you settle for the imperfect solution. It means you prioritize action over perfection. Take action and work on making it better over time. General George Patton once said, “A good plan, violently executed now, is better than a perfect plan executed next week.”

  Cowgirls Make Their Own Rules

  Many of the cowgirls highlighted in this book just plain marched to the beat of a different drummer. They left boarding school to join a rodeo or a Wild West show. They chose to work with the cowboys on their family ranches instead of staying in the house and helping their mothers cook. They were not afraid to break the rules every now and then. I admire this spunk and have to admit I have broken a few rules and conventions in my career and life. Some of those times put me in the absolute best place to win and of course have given me great personal satisfaction.

  One female university student told me she decided to major in marketing. Her family, close friends, and advisors all had insisted she major in accounting and pursue a career in finance. Although it took a lot of courage on her part to deny their wishes and dreams for her, she was thrilled with her decision to do something she really thought she would enjoy. This takes grit. She is already becoming a cowgirl. Bravo!

  What I am suggesting is that just because everyone is zigging, perhaps you should zag. Don’t be afraid to think about ways no one else has done things before. Make your own rules. It is your life and nobody else can do this for you.

  Go with People Who Pull You Forward

  I learned this lesson early in my career when I accepted the job with Leadership Dynamics that taught me so much about the importance of personality types. I had several other job offers at the time, but I thought I would learn more working with them in their executive consulting practice.

  They hired me because of my marketing background; they wanted me to help them grow their business, and I did. But very quickly I got involved in their consulting projects. At first I was just writing case studies for marketing purposes. The insights fascinated me and taught me an entirely new way of thinking and interacting with people. Soon, I was writing proposals, giving presentations, and interacting directly with many of the executives.

  The Harvard MBAs inspired me, showed me the way, and changed my life. Those are the kind of people you want to hang out with. Time is your most precious asset; spend it with people who inspire you. Run away from anyone else. This is an important lesson to learn early in life. In this day of social media, focus on the quality of people you spend time with, not the quantity, which can steal your mental energy. Have lunch with people you admire. Get to know them better. Ask questions. Reach out and, for goodness’ sake, follow up.

  Do not follow the crowd, especially if you feel something is wrong. Once, in grade school during rehearsal for a ballet recital, I fell in with some girls who trashed a school bathroom with theatrical paint. My parents were horrified, disappointed, and devastated t
hat I used such poor judgment. I never did anything like that again, but I still wake up from bad dreams remembering how upset they were with me.

  If you want to become a powerful person, hang out with people with powerful ambitions. Find interesting people from all walks of life who are doing inspirational things, and include them in a network that helps all of you. Friendship is always a two-way street. Maintaining a relationship with someone you admire, even if it is distant, is a smart, healthy thing to do. And it is the highest compliment that you can pay someone to check in on them from time to time to see how they are doing.

  With today’s technology it is much easier to do, just be sure that you take the time to put some heart into your communications. Share your creativity, your learning, and your insights with the people you know and care about. But don’t forget the power of handwritten notes. George H. W. Bush told a friend of mine, “I got to the White House with one handwritten note at a time.”

  And help people when you can. I have built an amazing network of powerful women I know all over the world through C200. We have a rule that we never solicit business from each other. But when one of them reaches out saying her daughter is looking for a new job, I’m all over it. I recently got one young woman six stellar interviews at the kind of organizations she wanted to work for. She got the job she wanted. One more drop in the bucket of goodwill! I try to be very honest about my ability to help. I cannot do it all, but for a close friend, if I can, I pull out all the stops.

  The Disarming Power of Southern Charm

  I was raised with a sense of Southern charm and power. We were taught that when visiting to always arrive with a gift, write thank-you notes to the hosts, and when hosting have place cards at the dinner table. We said “Yes, sir” and “No, ma’am.” That’s just how we were raised.

  When T3 purchased the Pope-Watson mansion in Austin, we poured on the Southern charm and made it a part of our brand. When clients came to town, there was always a small gift waiting for them in their hotel room. There were handmade place cards at the dinner table, and the evenings always ended with a round of toasts. I used my calligraphy skills to write thank-you notes to our clients and staff. In fact, I gave a handwritten birthday and anniversary card to each T3 employee until I turned over the reins of writing these notes to Ben, our oldest son and the president of T3 today. People need to know that you appreciate them on a personal level. When clients come to the ranch we roll out a turn-of-the-century chuck wagon and serve up family-style Texas barbeque.

  Making people feel welcome and appreciated is somewhat of a lost art. Be a warm, generous host. Go a little further to be a genuine and an authentic cowgirl. One of my senior team members at T3 tells the story about how she once saw me standing barefoot in our ranch kitchen at midnight peeling hard-boiled eggs with our clients from Microsoft. They were spending a few days with us and wanted to make deviled eggs from the Double Heart Ranch’s free-range chickens. That’s about as authentic as it gets.

  Sometimes Southern charm can be a bit much. One of Ben and Sam Gaddis’s cousins interned with us at T3 for a few years. He grew up pretty country and I would cringe when I would hear him answering the telephone and responding with “okeydokey.” But he was authentic and I never stopped him!

  Stop and Kiss the Clown

  If you have ever been to a rodeo, you have seen the rodeo clown. They have been delighting audiences for years and more importantly, their real mission is to protect bull riders from being stomped on by bucking bulls after they finish a ride. They have saved many lives and are the real heroes of the rodeos. They make it look easy, but it is not. Rodeo clowning is no laughing matter.

  I saw a talented girl at a rodeo run the best time of the night in barrel racing. She turned in a stellar performance. It was clear she was going to be the winner and pretty much the star of the evening. When she heard her time called over the loudspeaker she whooped a big whoop, jumped off her horse, and ran over and kissed the rodeo clown on the lips. The audience roared with approval as she climbed back on her horse and took a victory lap. I was in awe of her. Not only had she won through years of hard work and practice, but she had the moxie to leverage her win by recognizing the clown and sharing the limelight with him. By doing so she gained respect and power, and everyone in attendance that night knew it.

  Kiss the clown. Take the time to stop and recognize your team. Give them all of the credit. Thank them. You’ll be a powerful cowgirl when you do.

  Lessons Learned: Cowgirls Are Responsible for Themselves

  The ability to stand back and see yourself clearly and objectively is incredibly powerful. Cowgirls are not afraid of constructive criticism, and welcome it if it makes them better. If you confront your own reality, both good and bad, you gain authentic insight.

  Dreams are the opposite of reality; they can take you anywhere. The magic comes when the real YOU intersects with YOUR dreams. Pathways to the future quickly emerge.

  Annie Oakley

  (The National Annie Oakley Center at Garst Museum, Greenville, Ohio)

  Chapter 5

  Cowgirls Build Their Own Competence

  When it comes to competence, one woman stands out. Annie Oakley. To paraphrase legendary football coach Bum Phillips, if she isn’t in a class by herself, when that class gets together, it sure don’t take long to call the roll.

  She was America’s first female superstar, and she was a true rags to riches story. She was born in 1860 and her father died when she was six. Her family was so poor she taught herself to shoot and began hunting animals for food. She even got so good that she could shoot an animal without ruining the best parts of the meat. She started selling the meat her family didn’t need and by age fifteen had made enough money to pay off the bank loan for her family’s farm.

  On Thanksgiving Day, 1875, Frank Butler was out promoting his traveling shooting exhibition scheduled that evening in Cincinnati. As he often did, he struck up a wager with a prominent local businessman. The two men bet one hundred dollars that Frank could outshoot anyone in the city. There was much boasting and bravado, and a crowd started to build in anticipation of who would take on this famous marksman. Out stepped a five-foot-tall, fifteen-year-old girl named Phoebe Ann Mosey. Frank laughed when he saw her. He did not laugh for long, because to his surprise, she scored twenty-five hits in twenty-five attempts. Frank did as well, but his last shot kicked the target outside of the designated area. So she won. The crowd loved it. Frank was a good sport and invited Phoebe to his show that night. He married her a year later.8

  On May 1, 1882, in Springfield, Illinois, Frank’s stage partner was ill and could not perform so he asked Phoebe to hold up his targets. He was having a bad night and kept missing his shots. Someone in the crowd shouted, “Let the girl shoot, let her shoot!” Phoebe did not hesitate. She stepped right on the stage and hit all of her targets. The crowd loved it and a star was born that night. She quickly moved to top billing and Frank became her manager. Around this time, Phoebe adopted her new stage name as “Annie Oakley.”9

  Between 1885 and 1901 Annie Oakley starred in Buffalo Bill’s Wild West show as an exhibition shooter. She quickly became the first female Wild West star. The most amazing thing about Annie is how good she really was. While she spent most of her life on the stage doing exhibitions, she also shot in serious marksman competitions. She chalked up remarkable records, shooting 483 out of 500, 943 out of 1,000. In one single day she shot 4,772 out of 5,000.10 Annie knew how to please the crowd by blowing kisses and making fun of herself by dramatically pouting and stomping her foot when she missed a shot.

  Oh, and I was in a musical about her when I was in high school—Annie Get Your Gun. I can still sing all the words of the songs today!

  Cowgirls understand that they have many lessons to learn. They have a curiosity and passion to not only learn, but also to become the best they can be, constantly improving. Practice, observing the teachings from those who have gone before you, and sheer determination wi
ll lead to competence. Instead of reinventing the wheel, cowgirls learn early in life there is a right and wrong way to do things. From the family dogma of standing by your word and always doing what you say you will do, to the seemingly smaller yet sometimes life-saving technique of tying a proper quick-release knot. (In case you don’t know what a quick-release knot is, it is the correct way to tie up a horse so if it spooks, you can release it quickly so the animal doesn’t injure itself.) Cowgirls know that these lessons are based on generations of pride, character, safety, and strong family values.

  Cowgirls Do the Work to Learn

  Cowgirls know that horses have a sixth sense that people do not. Horses are prey animals and they are always judging how safe they are. I have been around horses all my life and I have seen it over and over again. One person can approach a horse and it will appear to be skittish. It will turn its head, pin its ears back, and try to move away. Another person can approach that same horse and it will step forward and put its head down to have its ears scratched. Why the difference? Horses can sense both fear and expertise almost instantly. Horses sense body language, adrenaline levels, and just about everything going on around them.

  Because of their intuition, a horse senses how much a rider knows before she climbs into the saddle. And how much she does not know. The horse always judges the rider. After the young cowgirl learns the basic skills, she must win the horse’s trust and make the animal feel safe around her. The horse has to trust that she will not put it in danger. It takes time; it takes kindness.