Pump Fake

by Michael Beck

  I was silent, thinking.

  "There's one other thing, Tan. It seems that a complaint was made to the church regarding Bailey a number of years ago."

  "Complaint?"

  "Some parents complained about the way Father Bailey was touching their son, who was one of the altar boys."

  "Did the police investigate?"

  "It never went that far. It was never reported to the police as the church kept it quiet. We're only finding out about it now due to this investigation."

  "Was the altar boy Jesus Fernandez?"

  "No. We still don't know who Jesus was. There's no record of any Jesus Fernandez living in the area of the church or attending the church. Tan, whichever way it goes Bailey will be behind bars. Forever. So relax. You caught him, Tan. You caught him. It's over."

  I hung up and only one thought ricocheted through my head.

  Was it?

  * * * *

  I pulled into Heavenly Falls and parked beside my Winnebago. Faith was standing next to a new red Cadillac XLR-V convertible.

  "Who did you kill to get that?" I said.

  "I didn't. You, apparently, did." She handed me a card.

  Thanks for the other day. Consider this peanuts, it said.

  "Who did you have to sleep with to get one of these?" said Faith.

  "You think someone would give me a new car for sleeping with them?"

  Faith regarded me. "You're right. Who gave you a new car not to sleep with them?"

  I pulled out my cell and called Decker. Faith climbed into the Cadillac and sat behind the wheel. "Look, it fits!"

  "Don't get used to it. I'm not keeping it."

  "Are you nuts? Okay, you don't want it, I'll take it."

  "Hello?" Liz. At Decker's house. So she was still with him. We'd only had the one kiss, so I didn't know what I had expected. Hell, I hadn't even spoken to her since that day. Truth be told, I had avoided her since then. I didn't know what my next move should be. My future seemed like a house of cards built on quicksand. What did I have to offer anyone?

  "Liz, it's me."

  "Oh. Tan." Thrilled to hear from me.

  The silence stretched out. "What do you want?"

  "Is Decker there?"

  "No."

  "Oh."

  Silence again.

  "I dropped in to pick up some documents that Troy had to sign. I'm...not living here, Tan."

  "Oh. Good."

  "Why's that good?"

  "Well...you know..."

  "No, I don't."

  "Well, I don't think you should get involved with Decker. There are too many unanswered questions about his past. "

  "Is that the only reason? Hello? Tan? Are you there?"

  "Did you know he just gave me a car?"

  "He wanted to say thanks for what you did."

  "Then let him buy me a beer, for God's sake, like a normal person."

  "He's not normal. And a car is like a beer to him. Do you know what he earns?"

  "Obviously too frigging much."

  "It's not just that. Your car got wrecked and he felt guilty. He doesn't have many friends, people he lets close to him. He likes you."

  "Whichever way you cut it, I don't want it, Liz."

  "I know. But he won't take it back. What will you do with it?"

  "I have an idea."

  I hung up and jumped into to the Cadillac next to Faith. "Take her out, Tiger."

  "You're going to keep it?"

  "Someone is. Let's go."

  Despite the cold, we drove with the top down. At the first red light a white pick-up truck driven by a young guy wearing a black bandana pulled up next to us.

  "Hey, gorgeous, give your boyfriend the flick and try a real guy. You can do better," he called.

  Faith smiled and waved.

  He honked and drove off.

  "If he but knew who he was talking to," I said.

  "It wouldn't make a smidge of difference."

  "But he looked as straight as a dye."

  Faith gazed at me with pity. "There's no such thing. Most of the guys who come on to me are straight."

  "Yeah, but what about when they...well..."

  "Find out there's sausage as well as pancakes on the menu?"

  "Faith, you are such a romantic."

  "It doesn't make any difference. If anything they get more into it. Tan, everyone is bent. It's only degrees we're quibbling over."

  "Not everyone."

  "So you've never been tempted to bat for your own team?"

  "Faith, if you haven't tempted me, could anyone?"

  Faith pursed her lips and nodded. "Can't argue with that."

  "Besides, how do you know he wasn't talking to me?"

  "I think he used the word gorgeous."

  "You don't think I'm gorgeous?"

  "There's plenty of words I'd use to describe you, Tan, but that's not one of them."

  Thirty minutes later we pulled into the driveway of a neat but rundown suburban house and parked behind the old Ford station wagon. Two boys were playing with toy trucks on the sidewalk that led to the front door.

  "Hi, boys." The smaller one wore a beanie but it didn't hide his baldness. "You're Benny, right?"

  "Yes. Do you want my mom?"

  "No, that's all right. Here these are for you." I handed him the car keys.

  He looked from the keys to the car, his eyes wide. "That's for me?"

  "You don't want a car?"

  "Yes! Yes!"

  Both boys ran to the car. I followed them. "What's your brother's name?"

  "Mitch."

  "Mitch, half the car is yours too. Okay?"

  Mitch ran his hand over the leather seat. "Really?"

  "Really. Don't just touch it. Jump in and sit in it. Have fun with it, eh?"

  Benny climbed behind the wheel and Mitch into the passenger seat. They were both laughing and talking at the same time.

  "Hey, mister!"

  I stopped.

  "Who will I tell Mom gave it to us?" Benny said.

  "Troy Decker."

  "The football player?"

  "That's right."

  "Troy Decker gave us a car?" he said as if he couldn't believe me.

  "Damn straight."

  "Why?"

  "He heard what a great father your dad was and how you two look after your mom."

  From a block away, Faith and I could still hear the whoops and hollers echoing down the street. I felt her looking at me. "What?"

  "You're such a phony."

  "What do you mean?"

  "All that macho-man posturing you do and you're as soft as an ice-cream cone in summer."

  Before I could answer my cell rang.

  "Tan?"

  "Hi, Bob."

  "Have you heard?"

  "Heard what?"

  "Cupid. He's dead."

  CHAPTER 64

  Fulton was throwing a ball to Little Bear outside my Winnebago when I stepped out of the cab.

  "You know?" he said.

  "Yes. What happened?"

  "He hung himself in his cell."

  "How?"

  "He tore his shirt into strips and weaved them into a rope, and hanged himself from the bars."

  I was silent, thinking.

  Fulton cleared his throat. "There was something else."

  "What?"

  "We found a letter on the bed in his cell. His lawyer gave it to him, along with some other mail. The lawyer says he has no idea how it got in there."

  "What did the letter say?"

  "Read it yourself." He passed me his phone, showing a photo of the letter, which was printed on plain white paper.

  Dear Pervert,

  you have shamed the church and yourself and surely will burn in hell for what you have done. Do you think God will forgive you if you put your victim's families through the agony of a trial? No, he won't. Save the families this torture and redeem what little goodness you have. Kill yourself. The families want it. You want it. God wants it. If
you have any hope of salvation you must kill yourself and throw yourself on God's mercy. He will understand. It is not a sin if you are trying to spare others. It is a goodness you will do. Go on. Do it now before you weaken. Kill yourself. Now.

  P.S. Remember your father.

  "What's his father got to do with it? Bailey mentioned him in the police interview," I said.

  "I spoke to Bailey's doctor. His dad died of Alzheimer's when he was fifty-five."

  "That's awfully young for Alzheimer's, isn't it?"

  "He had a condition called early onset Familial Alzheimer's. People suffering from it can start showing symptoms in their thirties. Most people die within seven years of getting it. Apparently, Bailey was terrified of dying like his father. They couldn't afford a nurse or hospital so the family had to look after him. He saw his father forget his family and gradually lose all bodily functions."

  "But what made Bailey think he was going to get it? Surely the disease can't be inherited?"

  "Ordinary Alzheimer's isn't. But Familial Alzheimer's is genetic. It can be passed from father to son."

  "Oh."

  So that explained it: the half-shaven face; the front door of Bailey's home with all the deadbolts contrasting with the open side window; the terrible job of concreting in the basement; the memory-book. This was the master-mind behind the Cupid murders?

  "Yes. So whoever wrote the letter knew Bailey very well. He pushed all the right buttons. Fear of going to hell, the chance to redeem himself, fear of dying a horrible death like his dad. I wonder who wrote it."

  "That's not the important question."

  "What is?"

  "Why was someone so keen to have Father Bailey kill himself?"

  CHAPTER 65

  "So who are you taking?" said Bear.

  "Bob."

  "Ah huh. You know Liz will be there?"

  "She'll be with Decker, so I hardly imagine she'll care I'm taking Bob."

  "You think? You've never bought a date to any function where Liz has been before."

  There was no sound except for the tires skimming over the wet road until Jade spoke. "Why are you...dating a man, Mark?"

  "Bob's a girl, Sweetie. Remember, you met her at the football game?"

  "No. When did I go to the...football game?"

  "Never mind. You'll meet her tonight. I'm sure you'll like her." I turned to Angie. "Liz and I have an understanding...sort of."

  "Angie, educate this moron," said Bear.

  "Does Liz know you're bringing Bob?" Angie said.

  "No."

  "I suppose it has been years since you two were last together so it shouldn't come as a surprise to her." Angie sounded as if she were thinking out loud.

  "Well..."

  "Well, what?" said Angie.

  "Nothing."

  "Well, what, Tan?"

  "Well, technically it hasn't been years. But that shouldn't matter."

  I felt Angie watching me. When she looked at me like that it reminded me of the radar warning signal for an incoming missile. Destruction was seconds away.

  "How long, Tan?"

  "Two days ago. But it was nothing really. We just kissed."

  Bear laughed. "You are so dead."

  "You kissed Liz?" said Jade. "Isn't she our...aunty?"

  "Cousin, Jade. And no, she's not. We just lived with them after..."

  "After Mom and Dad died. Yes, you told me. But why would you kiss Liz for? She's Bear's sister?" Jade stared at me as if I'd just announced I was taking ballroom dancing lessons.

  "Yes, Tan. Tell us. Why would you kiss my sister?" Bear, I could tell, was enjoying himself.

  "Well, for one thing she looks nothing like you." I turned to Jade. "Liz and I were...boyfriend and girlfriend for a while. But now we're not, okay? And, it was just a kiss. You know, like a good night kiss."

  Bear laughed. "And LeBron is just a basketball player and Michael Phelps is just a swimmer. Are you getting my drift?"

  "Anyway, Bob asked me days ago before that happened. Angie, you tell him," I appealed. "Liz will be sensible about this, won't she?"

  Angie gazed at me like Old Yeller was lying in front of her. "You're dead."

  "What do you two know? The last time you two had a date with anyone, apart from each other, was back in high school."

  "I don't have to be a zoologist to recognize a dead duck floating in the water," said Bear.

  "There she is. Stop here," I said.

  Bob was standing in the foyer of the function center, looking out through the windows.

  "The knockout in the white evening gown? That's Bob?" said Angie.

  "Yeah."

  "She's beautiful," Jade said. "No wonder you kicked...kissed her."

  "Tan, you aren't just dead. You're hung, drawn and quartered," said Angie.

  Jade and I climbed out of the car.

  "Hey," shouted Bear through his open window, "can you leave me the Winnebago in your will?"

  Bob wore a long, iridescent, silky white dress that clung to her like Saran wrap. One long, smooth leg was visible through the slit that ran up to her thigh and her long, dark hair caressed the small of her naked back.

  Angie was right. I was dead.

  "Come on." I took Jade's hand.

  "You sure it's okay for me to be here? Won't I wreck your crate?"

  "It's not really a date, Jade. The Turbos put this function on each year to raise money for charity and invite all the media. Bob asked me to be her escort, seeing we were both coming anyway. And Bob was really pleased to hear you were going to come with me."

  "She was?"

  "Yeah, you don't remember but she really liked you."

  "Everybody is so dressed up." Jade said softly, as she looked through the windows. In the foyer, many of the players, wives and girlfriends--I suspect Hawk had both--milled around, drinking and eating finger food, before going into the function room. It was a black tie and evening dress affair. None of the people attending were exactly short a buck so I could see why Jade might be impressed.

  "Even you look good," Jade said.

  I laughed. "You better take a picture. Here, look." I pointed at her reflection in the nearest window. "You look even more than good. You look amazing."

  I wasn't lying. Jade was wearing a simple blue evening dress that Angie had bought for her. With her long blonde hair and willowy limbs, Jade would have stood out at a Miss Universe pageant.

  She raised her arms in the air. "Look at me. I'm so...skinny and tall. I look like a piece of...spaghetti. I look awful."

  I put my arm around her shoulder. "Jade, you have some catching up to do."

  She gazed up at me, her eyes moist. "I miss Mom and Dad."

  "I know. So do I."

  "I wish I could help you, but I can't remember anything."

  I hugged her. Over her shoulder I could see Bob, who had come up to the window.

  "Is she okay," Bob mouthed.

  I nodded back.

  "It's not your fault. And it doesn't matter anyway. We got the guy, remember?"

  Jade had no memory of me showing her the photo of Father Bailey. And there was no point, at this stage, of heaping my misgivings on to her. She had enough to deal with. Her memories were like pages in a book thrown into the wind, then re-gathered and put back in any order. She knew that Mom and Dad had been killed but didn't know how she knew. If there was one thing I was thankful for, it was that she knew Mom and Dad were dead when she awoke. I don't know how I could have broken that to her after what she had been through.

  Doc said to give her time. That her brain was like a pond that had been stirred up. We just had to wait for the sand to settle.

  "Why did Father Bailey kill them? He christened me."

  "I know. I know. He was a bad man. We just didn't know it." I stroked her hair. "Now, come on. Tonight we're not going to think of the past. We're just going to have fun, okay? There's going to be music and dancing."

  She smiled tremulously and wiped her eyes. "I don't know
how to...dance. Do you?"

  "Good point. But Bob will. Damn girl was probably a ballet prodigy as a kid."

  "You like her?"

  "Bob? She's all right."

  "Ah huh. And Liz?"

  I shrugged uncomfortably under Jade's scrutiny and took her arm as we walked through the door. "She's all right too."

  Jade sighed.

  "What?" I said.

  "I might have been...gone for...fourteen years but you haven't changed."

  I had to smile.

  "That you remember?"

  She smiled back. "Sorry, but you always were...an emotional zombie."

  "Who was an emotional zombie?"

  Bob was standing in front of us.

  "Apparently me. Though what that means I have no idea."

  "I think I do, and you are exactly right, Jade. Hi, Jade. I'm Bob."

  Jade smiled shyly. "Hi, Bob. Sorry, I don't remember you."

  "That's okay. What I wouldn't give to forget some of the creeps I've met. I could write a book about them. Jade, you look fantastic. I love your dress. Did you buy it?"

  Jade nodded. "Angie took me shopping."

  "It's fantastic. Come with me and we'll get something to drink."

  Jade glanced at me nervously.

  "You go," I said. "I'll be here."

  "You know, I think you must be the most beautiful girl here..." I heard Bob say as she took Jade's hand and led her away.

  "For such a swanky place the food sucks." Cap, dressed in a black suit, stood at my shoulder.

  "Swanky?"

  Cap shrugged. "Hip, cool, in...whatever they call it these days. Smell this. Is that chicken or fish?" He held a half-eaten finger sandwich towards me.

  "You really think I'm going to smell your food?"

  "Chicken, I reckon. I've had better chicken out of a ration can."

  "Yeah, but I bet it wasn't served by that?" I said, nodding toward one of the many pretty waitresses who were circulating through the crowd. They all wore long black dresses and were uniformly tall and pretty.

  Cap nodded thoughtfully. "I must admit I didn't notice the taste when that pretty blonde one served me. Funny about that, eh?"

  "An absolute revelation. Next you'll be telling me that Usain Bolt is kind of quick. Did the trip in go okay?" Cap was looking after Decker tonight.

  "Yeah, no problem. He's over near the bar with Liz."

  I saw Decker standing with Davis and Lamar and their girlfriends. Lamar moved and suddenly I was looking at Liz. Our eyes locked for a moment before she turned away.