Chasing Payne

by Chantel Seabrook

  “Give her time.” Jacob's voice was more distant. “You need to rest. I'll stay with her.”

  “I'm not leaving.”

  A deep sigh. A curse. The shuffling of feet. Scraping of a metal chair across the floor. A door clicked shut.

  Silence.

  She tried to open her eyes again, determined to emerge from the darkness that held her. She blinked, dragging her heavy lids open.

  Sunlight slanted across the linoleum floor towards the machines and wires that were attached to her.

  “Chase?” His name came out in a painful rasp.

  From the shadows he appeared. “I'm right here.”

  He placed a hand on the bedrail and leaned towards her, running his fingers gently across her cheek.

  A day's growth shadowed his jaw. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, rimmed with dark circles. A white sling held his shoulder stable. He was a mess, and yet he hadn't left her.

  He bent down and kissed her on the forehead, lingering briefly before pulling back and looking in her eyes. His lips lifted slightly, but there was a sadness behind his eyes.

  “I'm sorry,” she whispered hoarsely. She licked her dry lips and swallowed painfully. “I'm so sorry. I only wanted to protect you.”

  His eyes widened. “Protect me?”

  “I didn't know”—her eyes fluttered closed and she forced them open—“he would try to hurt you. He told me he could break the mating bond…I—I didn't know he planned on marking me.”

  He pulled back, the color drained from his face, and his lips turned downward. He was trying to control his anger; she could sense it vibrating under the surface.

  “Chase.” She tried to lift her hand, to reach for him, but it lay like lead on the bed next to her. As if sensing her intention, he grasped her hand between his strong fingers. “Don't be angry. I did it for you. For both of us. Now there's nothing binding you to me.” Unshed tears burned her eyes, but she didn't have the strength to blink them away. “You're free.”

  “Free?” He repeated, his expression unreadable.

  Her eyes closed, and she used all her strength to push them open. “I'm so tired.”

  “Close your eyes.” He gave her a weak smile, but the tension remained, and she swore she heard the rumblings of a muted roar within his chest.

  She needed him to understand. It was for the best. “Chase—”

  “It's okay. I'll be right here. Sleep.”

  When her eyes closed again, she didn't try to fight the darkness.

  * * *

  When he was certain she was asleep, Chase let out the growl he'd been holding in. What the hell was she thinking? How could breaking their bond be best for either of them? It was gone. He was certain of it now. Whatever the fuck Austin had done to her had severed their connection—permanently.

  He took a deep breath, the air choking him as he swallowed. He stared at the woman who was his mate—No, who had been his mate. There was a reason why Metamorphs mated once, and for a lifetime. The bond they shared with their mates was stronger than any human emotion, and taking it away was like ripping a fucking limb off.

  He sat down heavily in the uncomfortable chair he had used as a makeshift bed for the past two days, and itched his bandaged shoulder. The wound was healing, the damage insignificant compared to Lora's injury. As long as he continued to heal at an accelerated rate, he would have full mobility within a week. But, it wasn't the injury to his body that concerned him.

  The steel door opened, and Jenna peeked her head around, her eyes filled with concern. “Has she woken up yet?”

  “Briefly.” He motioned for her to come in.

  Jenna stood on the opposite side of the bed, and looked down at her sister. “Jacob said that surgery went well. There shouldn't be any long-term damage.”

  He nodded, and frowned. Except for the damage to his soul.

  “What's wrong?” Always intuitive, Jenna glanced at him with a frown.

  He rubbed the back of his neck and looked up at the tiled ceiling. “He marked her.”

  There was a brief moment of silence. “Who?”

  “Austin.” He inhaled roughly. “When Lora was with him…he marked her.”

  Jenna's eyebrows shot up. “I don't understand. She's your mate, no one else can—”

  “That's what I thought as well, but whatever he did, it broke our connection.” He winced as fresh pain stabbed his gut. “I can't feel her. Sense her. It's as if a piece of me has been severed.”

  Jenna shook her head and looked down at Lora, causing her auburn hair to cover half of her face. “Have you told Jacob?”

  “Yeah.” And what Jacob had told him in return did nothing to ease Chase's growing dread. “There are rumors that warejaguars have the ability to override mating heat in the early stages.”

  Jenna's mouth dropped open, and she blinked at him in shock. “And Austin is—”

  “Was,” Chase corrected. “A werejaguar.”

  “Holy shit.” She crossed her arms over her chest and started pacing. “Does Lora know? I mean obviously she knew he bit her, but…” She stopped and looked at him. “She's going to freak out when she wakes up.”

  “She knows.”

  Jenna stopped abruptly and looked at him hard. “And?”

  “It's what she wanted.”

  “That's bullshit! All she's wanted her entire life is to be with you. There's no way in hell she would give that up.”

  “She was trying to protect you.” His voice was harsher than he intended. “And me. She was worried that—it—would happen again.”

  Jenna took a step back as if he had physically hit her. Her brows arched and she sucked in a deep breath. “She told you?”

  He nodded.

  She looked down at the floor. “Everything?”

  “Yes.”

  The color in her face drained, and her lower lip trembled.

  “I won't tell your secret, but you should know why she did it. She didn't trust herself to keep her animal contained, not around me.”

  A myriad of emotions crossed her face. “I was too harsh with her when she told me about the two of you. I should have been more supportive.”

  He shook his head. “What's done is done.”

  Jenna leaned against the wall, and her shoulders slumped forward as she stared at the floor. “What are you going to do?”

  “I don't know.” Lora didn't want to be with him. She'd run—twice. Without the bond tying them to one another, perhaps he should let her go. The question was, could he live without her?

  With a slow shake of her head, she stared him down for a few tense moments. “I think you need to give her time. Let her figure it out. Without the bond, there is nothing holding you to her, or her to you. You both need time to heal. Take that time and figure out what you want.”

  What he wanted was to have his mate back. To have the emptiness inside his chest filled with the awareness of her presence.

  He stood and walked toward the bed. Some of the color had returned to Lora's cheeks. His heart clenched as he watched her chest rise and fall. With shaky fingers, he traced the gentle curve of her jaw. He needed to let her go. Jenna was right. Without the mating bond tying them to each other, they could have normal, separate lives.

  Their bond had nearly killed them both. If he pushed her now, he didn't know what she'd do. It was better if he walked away.

  He brushed his lips across her forehead and closed his eyes, inhaling her scent. She was everything to him, and she deserved the chance at a normal life. It's what she wanted, and he was going to give it to her.

  Aware of Jenna watching him, he let out a stifled sigh. He was either the world's biggest fool or a fucking saint. Regardless, he knew walking away was going to kill him.

  “I love you,” he whispered, knowing in that moment that it was the truth.

  He heard Jenna's sharp intake of breath. She'd heard his confession, but he didn't care.

  Resignation overwhelming him, he stood, squared his shoulder
s, and forced himself to walk out of the room.

  Chapter 24

  Lora frowned as she pulled her shirt up and surveyed the scar on her stomach. It had healed quickly over the past two weeks thanks to her heightened healing ability. She ran a finger over the four-inch incision mark. A scar to remind her of everything she'd lost—No, everything she'd given up.

  Chase still hadn't returned her calls. Not that she was surprised after what she'd done. He'd been put on paid leave while the agency looked into what had happened that night in the cabin. Jacob didn't think the discipline would be too severe since Austin had shot first, but it would likely be a few months before Chase was able to go back to work.

  She nibbled on her bottom lip, worrying over him. He'd disappeared before she was released from the medical facility. When she'd spoken to Turner he'd said the last time he'd heard from him, Chase was boarding a plane headed to South America. No one had spoken to him since.

  He was angry with her. She'd seen it in his eyes when she'd woken briefly after her surgery. Of course, he was angry. But to get up and leave without a word? It wasn't like him.

  She let the fabric drop, and walked out of her bedroom towards the kitchen. Jenna and her mother had stacked her fridge with enough casseroles and lasagna to feed an army. She placed a tray of scalloped potatoes in the microwave and watched mindlessly as it spun around.

  Her animal stirred close to the surface, purring in contentment, their connection healed. The past couple of weeks had been a time of self-discovery. When she had shifted, allowed the lioness to emerge, breaking the prison Lora had constructed, something else had happened—she'd merged fully with the lioness. And the consequence had been staggering.

  She'd always feared that if she gave in to the animal side of her nature, she would lose herself, but the opposite had happened. It was as if the pieces of herself finally fit into place in perfect harmony. It was bittersweet in a way. She'd given up the only man she'd ever loved, but in doing so, she'd found herself. Despite Austin's intentions, and the physical wounds she had suffered, that night had healed her.

  Everything was starting to fall back into place. Jacob was even allowing her to come back to the agency. The only thing missing was Chase. Every moment without him felt lonely and dull.

  A knock sounded on the door.

  For a breadth of a second, she let herself hope that it was Chase.

  Jacob stood on the other side of the door with his hands in his pockets.

  Her shoulders drooped but she managed a small smile. “What are you doing here?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “It's good to see you too.”

  “Sorry. Come in. I'm just heating up one of Ma's casseroles. You hungry?”

  “Smells like her famous scalloped potatoes.” He grinned and followed her to the kitchen. “I'd love a plate.”

  He sat down at the small kitchen table, while she scooped generous helpings of potatoes on two plates.

  “You've been cleared to return to work next week,” he said, as she placed the food in front of him.

  “Already?”

  “Is that a problem?”

  Her stomach pitched. She shook her head and sat down across from him with her plate. This was what she wanted, so why did it feel so wrong? “I didn't think I'd be cleared until Chase…”

  Jacob chewed his food and watched her. “I'll be reassigning you a new supervisor.”

  Obviously. “Yeah I figured that.” She poked at her food with her fork, suddenly not hungry. “Have you talked to him?”

  “He came back today.”

  She dropped her fork. “He's back? Is he…” She licked her lips. “All right?”

  “He's still upset.”

  Of course he was. He had every reason to be. She looked down at the full plate of potatoes in front of her and exhaled slowly. “Did he…did he ask about me?”

  Jacob reached across the table and clasped her hand. “He's hurting, and so are you. You should probably go see him.”

  She looked down at their conjoined hands and frowned. “I don't know. He's angry—”

  “He cares about you.”

  She shook her head and pulled her hand back. “Like a sister. Yeah, I know.”

  Jacob snorted. “Trust me, Lora. I've seen the way he looks at you. His feelings are far from brotherly.”

  “You don't understand.” She stood, collected their plates, then placed them in the sink. Leaning against the counter, she crossed her arms over her chest. “It's complicated.”

  “Do you think I'm blind? Ever since you were a kid, you've followed Chase around with your heart in your eyes. I don't know what happened between you and Jenna.” He put his hand up to stop her when she started to speak. “And I don't need to know, but I do know you care about Chase.”

  Her gut coiled into a heavy knot of regret. “It doesn't matter anymore. It's too late.”

  Jacob crossed the room and placed firm hands on her shoulders, capturing her with the intensity of his gaze. “Go talk to him.” It was a command. “You're my baby sister and Chase is my best friend. Don't think this isn't weird for me. But, you're both miserable. If there's a chance—”

  “All right.” She gave him a sad smile, hating that Chase was unhappy, and she was the cause. But she knew there was nothing that could change what had been done. The emptiness where he had once been was too—complete. “I'll go to him.”

  * * *

  Chase threw his suitcase on the floor of his bedroom and sat down heavily on the edge of his bed. Elbows on his knees, he placed his head in his hands and sighed.

  Two weeks in Central and South America researching various werejaguar lore, and he'd come up empty-handed. The entire trip had been a complete waste of time. He'd come to realize that werejaguars weren't just antisocial, they were guarded, highly secretive, and extremely pissed that he'd killed one of their own, self-defence or not. The closest thing to an answer he'd gotten was from a female werejaguar named Ixtli, who'd spat in his face when he wouldn't fuck her.

  She'd snarled arrogantly and gave him a loathsome stare. “No wonder your woman refuses to claim you.”

  Chase snorted at the memory. The bitch had been ruthless. He'd barely escaped Guatemala with his head intact. But that one simple comment had struck him to the core. Was it possible that Lora could still claim him?

  He dragged his hands through his hair and stood.

  “Chase?” Turner's voice echoed down the long hallway.

  Shit, he wasn't ready to face anyone yet, not even his brother. If he knew Chase was home, that meant Jacob did as well. He needed more time. More time to figure out what to do. How to get Lora back, and how not to fuck things up again.

  “There you are.” Turner leaned against the doorway with his arms crossed over his chest. “God, you look like shit.”

  Chase grunted.

  Turner cocked an eyebrow and watched him as he started to unpack. “Did you find what you were after?”

  Chase blew out a frustrated breath and glared at his brother. “Stay out of it.”

  “Right. Like how you stay out of my shit.”

  “I'm not the one intent on fucking up his life.”

  “Last I heard you're the one on suspension, not me.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “You're a real prick, you know that?”

  “What do you want, Turner?”

  Turner rubbed the back of his neck as one side of his mouth quirked up in a sheepish grin.

  Chase froze. “What did you do now?”

  “Nothing. I swear.” He put his hands up with a feigned look of innocence. “Jacob's got me on call, investigating the random morphings.”

  “Yeah, and?”

  “I was thinking since your schedule's empty, you could look into a lead.” He tugged on his ear and tucked his chin, looking down at the floor. “Off the record.”

  Chase dropped the shirt he held back in the suitcase. That didn't sound good. “Off the record?”

  Turner shoved
his hands in his pockets, his face pulled tight in tension. “The man's not dead. I can prove it. I just need—”

  “No. This isn't a fucking game. Richard Boyd is dead.”

  “You saw Austin's file. The work that those kids were doing in the compound. It's Boyd. I know it. I've put a tracker on his oldest daughter, Riley and—”

  “You did what? I could have you suspended for that alone. You've been ordered to stay away from his family. Jesus, you killed the girl's father. Leave her the hell alone.”

  Turner winced. His fingers tightened and flexed. “What's your problem?”

  His problem? The only woman that he had ever allowed into his soul had torn his heart to pieces. He was hanging onto his sanity by a thread, and Turner wanted to know what his problem was?

  “I'm tired of cleaning up your shit,” Chase said, poking his finger at Turner's chest. “You want to screw your life up? Be my fucking guest, but stop dragging me into it.”

  Turners lips turned up in a snarl, his silvery gray eyes glittered with fury. “You're such an ass.” He pushed Chase's hand away. “No wonder Lora left you.”

  Chase's fist was flying before he knew what he was doing. His knuckles crunched against Turner's jaw, and pent up anger exploded through his system. Turner took the punch well, barely staggering, his own hand jabbing upward and catching Chase in the chin.

  When he stumbled, Turner tackled him to the ground. He got two good shots in before Chase was able to flip him. It had been years since he had fought with his younger brother, and the match was no longer as one-sided as it had been when they were kids.

  “Stop it!” A woman's cry stopped him mid punch.

  His lion growled, pulling Chase back from the edge of insanity.

  Turner shoved him away.

  He took a deep breath and wiped the blood from his lip. He didn't need to look up to know who stood in the doorway. He'd know her scent anywhere.

  Lora.

  Chapter 25

  Lora put her hands on her hips and frowned at the two men who lay bloody and beaten on the floor. “What are you doing?”

  Turner stood quickly and moved to the other side of the room, sullen and brooding. His left eye was already swelling.