Amelia Bedelia Ties the Knot

by Herman Parish

  “They don’t need dates,” said Amelia Bedelia. “They have each other.”

  “Finally!” said Grandma loudly.

  Finally trotted over to Grandma and licked her fingers.

  Aunt Mary smiled. “We’re still deciding. Once we do, we’ll send out save-the-date cards.”

  POP went a question. Bob read, “‘Who is the best man?’”

  “Bob is,” said Amelia Bedelia. “If there were someone better, she’d be marrying him instead.”

  “I agree,” said Aunt Mary.

  “Thanks for that vote of confidence,” said Bob. “My older brother, Tom here, will be my best man.”

  POP went a question. Mary read, “‘Does Bob always wear that baseball cap?’”

  Everyone laughed. Amelia Bedelia’s mother arched one eyebrow at her daughter, but Amelia Bedelia didn’t care. She really wanted to know.

  “No,” said Bob. “I have many caps, so I like to rotate them.”

  Amelia Bedelia was happy to have this information. She had no idea why people were laughing.

  POP went a question. Aunt Mary said, “Uh-oh, I dropped the pin.”

  “Bob can find it with his metal detector,” said Granddad.

  “That’s the next question,” said Aunt Mary. “‘Does Bob always carry his metal detector with him?’”

  “Of course not,” said Bob. “It’s in the trunk of my car.”

  Another good answer, thought Amelia Bedelia, even though her mother was arching both eyebrows at her.

  “Just don’t bring it to the wedding,” said Aunt Mary, laughing.

  Aunt Mary had invited Amelia Bedelia to help her pick out a wedding dress. It was a full car! Amelia Bedelia sat between her grandma and Aunt Wanda. Amelia Bedelia’s mother was driving, with Aunt Mary beside her.

  “Let’s start in the mall, at the bridal shop,” suggested Amelia Bedelia’s mother.

  “Mom, a bridle is for a horse,” said Amelia Bedelia.

  “How about a harness,” said Grandma with a chuckle, “so Mary and Bob can get hitched.”

  Aunt Mary laughed. “Maybe I won’t wear a dress at all.”

  “You’re going to get married in your pj’s?” said Amelia Bedelia.

  “No, silly,” said Aunt Mary. “I’ll wear nice pants.”

  Grandma made a face. “You should look like a princess,” she said.

  “Or a goddess,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “I’ll never forget the look on Bob’s face when he saw you dressed like Venus rising from the waves.”

  “Wow,” said Aunt Wanda. “Venus the goddess sounds like a good plan to me. Maybe I’ll come to the wedding as Venus the planet!”

  The ladies were still laughing as they walked into Head Over Heels, the bridal shop in the mall. Amelia Bedelia looked around in amazement. She couldn’t believe how many white dresses there were in every style, shape, length, and size imaginable. There were even gowns hanging from the ceiling!

  “Welcome, ladies,” said a saleswoman. “My name is Sylvie. Who is the lucky bride?”

  “My aunt is,” said Amelia Bedelia, pointing at Aunt Mary.

  “Congratulations,” said Sylvie, smiling at Aunt Mary. “What did you have in mind?”

  “I’m thinking goddess, with a dash of princess,” said Aunt Mary.

  “Hmmm,” said Sylvie. “That’s a tall order.”

  “She’s not that tall,” said Amelia Bedelia, looking at the ceiling and the gowns that floated like clouds above her.

  “Would you like a dress with a train?” asked Sylvie.

  “Good idea,” said Amelia Bedelia. “She’s marrying an engineer.”

  Aunt Mary tried on a dozen dresses at Head Over Heels, but none of them fit the bill. She tried on five more dresses at Made in Heaven, six at Wedding Bells Are Ringing, and another ten at Puppy Love, but those weren’t right, either. Some dresses had trains, others did not. Some came with veils, and one even featured five thousand tiny pearls sewn into the skirt.

  “It’s an emotional decision,” said Aunt Wanda. “Listen to your gut.”

  Just then, Amelia Bedelia’s stomach growled loudly. She blushed.

  “Who growled?” said Grandma, looking around. “Is that sweet Finally here?”

  Amelia Bedelia’s stomach growled even louder.

  “Amelia Bedelia,” said Aunt Wanda, “don’t you ever feed that thing?”

  “She’s just trying to help,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “Maybe her gut will tell Mary which dress to get.”

  “Let’s have lunch,” said Aunt Wanda. “It won’t be an official girls’ outing unless we do.”

  “We’re almost at the beach,” said Aunt Mary. “There’s a great café right over the causeway, near the harbor. They make yummy sandwiches for picnics. Bob and I love it. It’s our place.”

  Just then, Wanda yelled, “Stop! There it is! That’s the place my friend told me about!”

  As her mother pulled over, Amelia Bedelia read the sign on the weather-beaten building. “Second Helpings? Does this place serve leftovers?”

  “You could say that,” said Aunt Wanda. “But it’s not a restaurant. It’s a vintage clothing shop.”

  “Used clothes?” said Grandma with a frown.

  “Previously worn,” said Aunt Wanda. “Stylish clothes at bargain prices.” She led the way inside and introduced herself to the owner.

  Amelia Bedelia fell in love with the shop immediately. She saw clothes in every style and color and fabric. There were dresses from yesterday and from a hundred years ago.

  “You don’t have wedding dresses, do you?” asked Aunt Mary.

  “Just one,” said Lois, the owner. “And it’s a beauty. Got it last week at an estate sale.”

  “Where did you put the estate?” asked Amelia Bedelia, looking around at the jam-packed shop.

  Lois smiled. “I only bought the dress. I couldn’t resist it,” she said.

  Neither could Mary, once she saw it. She almost ran to the fitting room. She emerged a few minutes later, looking stunning.

  “Move over, Venus,” Amelia Bedelia’s mother said, helping Aunt Mary tie a big satin bow.

  “That’s handmade lace over silk,” said Lois. “It’s from the 1930s.”

  “It’s perfect,” said Aunt Mary.

  Amelia Bedelia’s stomach growled like a bear.

  “Hear that?” said Aunt Wanda. “A genuine gut reaction.”

  “Everyone in the county could hear it!” said Grandma.

  Amelia Bedelia blushed bright red as her mother said, “We’ve got to get some lunch into you, sweetie.”

  “Well,” said Aunt Mary as everyone piled back into the car. “I’m halfway there. My dress is old, and I’ll get new shoes to match it.”

  “Now you need something borrowed and something blue,” said Aunt Wanda.

  Amelia Bedelia’s mother glanced at Amelia Bedelia in the rearview mirror.

  “It’s an old saying, sweetie,” she said. “If a bride wears something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue, then she’ll have good luck.”

  “That didn’t work the first time I got married,” said Aunt Mary.

  “You didn’t have a wedding the first time,” said Grandma.

  “Your aunt eloped, honey,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother.

  “What antelope?” said Amelia Bedelia. Her mother wasn’t making any sense at all. “I’ve got a teddy bear, a monkey, and a bunny.”

  Aunt Mary laughed and said, “I’m your aunt, and I eloped. I married my first husband, Jason’s father, down at city hall with just a judge and a witness.”

  “You don’t need a big ceremony with food and music and dancing or even a white dress to get married,” said Aunt Wanda.

  “Humpf,” said Grandma.

  “You just need an official and a license,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother.

  “You need a license to get married?” said Amelia Bedelia. “Like for driving?”

  “It’s the law,” sai
d Grandma.

  At last they drove onto the causeway to the beach. As Amelia Bedelia was getting hungrier and hungrier, the traffic was getting slower and slower. Finally their car came to a complete stop. She looked out the window. She could see all kinds of boats on the water, from sailboats to a huge freighter.

  “Bad timing,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother.

  “Uh-oh,” said Aunt Mary. “Drawbridge.”

  “No paper,” said Amelia Bedelia.

  “Amelia Bedelia,” said Aunt Mary, “see how that section of the causeway bridge is raised?”

  “Yup,” said Amelia Bedelia.

  “We’ve never seen the bridge up, in all the times we’ve been on the island. It’s letting ships that are taller than the bridge pass through,” said her mother.

  Up ahead, Amelia Bedelia saw the top of the freighter pass by. Minutes later, the drawbridge lowered into place and the cars continued on.

  “There’s the café,” said Aunt Mary, pointing ahead. “Let’s eat!”

  As Amelia Bedelia’s mother slowed down to make the turn into the parking lot, the front door of the café swung open and a man walked out.

  “Isn’t that Bob?” she asked.

  It was Bob. He was wearing a baseball cap like always. And he was carrying a picnic basket and holding the door for the woman who walked out after him. She had dark, curly hair and dangly earrings that flashed in the sun. The two of them were laughing.

  “Who’s that with him?” asked Aunt Mary.

  Amelia Bedelia’s mother parked the car, and they all watched as Bob and the woman walked onto the pier. Bob helped the woman step down into a speedboat. She started the engine. Bob cast off the lines, and they went racing across the bay.

  No one said a word. It was like they had all been watching a movie together. Amelia Bedelia’s mother faced Mary, and Mary turned to face her sister. Then they both turned to look back at Amelia Bedelia. Their eyes were glistening. Amelia Bedelia decided that asking a question would not be a good idea. She wished for someone, anyone, to break this silence.

  Amelia Bedelia looked out the car window. A girl was walking up the pier. Wait a minute. Amelia Bedelia knew her!

  “Pearl!” Amelia Bedelia yelled.

  Pearl had taught Amelia Bedelia how to sail. Pearl was the best!

  “Mom, can I get out, please?” she said. “It’s Pearl!”

  “What about lunch?” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “Let’s eat!”

  “I’m not hungry anymore,” said Amelia Bedelia. “I’m just going to go say hi to Pearl, okay? Please?”

  Her mother said something to Aunt Mary, but Amelia Bedelia couldn’t make it out. “Okay, sweetie,” said Amelia Bedelia’s mother. “Come right back. We’ll be in the café waiting for you.”

  “Pearl!” Amelia Bedelia yelled as she hopped out of the car.

  Pearl looked up and dropped her duffel bag. “Amelia Bedelia!” she hollered, and began running to greet her. They hugged so hard that they nearly knocked each other over. “What are you doing here?”

  “I was having a great day, until I wasn’t,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Please, please, can we take a sail?”

  “Sure!” said Pearl.

  Amelia Bedelia’s stomach growled. “Got anything to eat? I’m starving.”

  Pearl searched her pockets and pulled out a broken granola bar. Amelia Bedelia devoured it as they climbed aboard Pearl’s sailboat, the Mother-and-Father-of-Pearl.

  “Okay,” said Pearl. “Remember how to cast off?”

  “Aye, aye,” said Amelia Bedelia. “Let’s get out of here!”

  Pearl cupped her hand around her mouth to imitate a train conductor. “Next stop, Blackberry Island!” she called.

  Amelia Bedelia hoisted the sail. Instantly, a gust of wind filled it with a reassuring pop. The sound reminded her of all the fun they’d had playing Pop the Question at the engagement party. That seemed like a million years ago. Amelia Bedelia felt as if she’d learned more today than she ever had in school. Way more than she even wanted to know, really. Being a grown-up sure didn’t seem like much fun to her.

  Amelia Bedelia sat down beside Pearl, who was steering a course for Blackberry Island, the small island in the middle of the bay. Pearl, Jason, and Amelia Bedelia had named it after they’d discovered gobs of juicy blackberries growing there. That seemed like a billion years ago.

  She told Pearl about shopping for a wedding dress, and how upset her aunt Mary had been when she’d seen Bob with a picnic basket and the other woman. Why was he going on a picnic with someone else when he was about to marry Aunt Mary?

  “Yipes,” said Pearl. “Sounds stressful.” She handed a piece of rope to Amelia Bedelia. It was the same thickness as the line used for hoisting the sail, but only about six feet long.

  “What’s this for?” asked Amelia Bedelia, holding it up.

  “Well,” said Pearl, “if you’re going to get tied up in knots, you ought to know what you’re doing, right? Here’s a basic knot to tie a boat to a pier. A round turn with two half hitches.” She looped the line around a block of wood twice and made one half hitch, then another. Then it was Amelia Bedelia’s turn.

  “Perfect,” said Pearl. “Now try it with one hand.”

  “One-handed?” said Amelia Bedelia.

  Pearl nodded. “In rough weather, one hand will be busy holding the boat steady while the other hand ties the two half hitches, securing the boat to the pier.”

  Amelia Bedelia tied the knot using only her right hand. She did it again. And again. And again.

  “Yippee!” yelled Amelia Bedelia on her fourth try.

  “Great job,” said Pearl. “Once more, with your eyes shut.”

  “What? Why?”

  “At night, you might need one hand for steering and one hand for tying. You can’t grow a third hand to hold a flashlight. You’ve got to have a feel for it.”

  Amelia Bedelia closed her eyes and got to work. Although she had her eyes shut, a movie was playing in her head. She imagined how the line should feel, twisting and turning, making first one, then two half hitches.

  “Bravo,” said Pearl. “And that is just one knot. There are hundreds of different knots.”

  “I thought there were just ten,” said Amelia Bedelia.

  “Ten!” said Pearl. “What gave you that idea?”

  “The signs all over the marina,” said Amelia Bedelia. “The ones that say ‘Limit Ten Knots.’”

  Pearl laughed. “That type of knot measures speed. It means nautical miles per hour. A nautical mile on the water is a little longer than a mile on land.”

  “So those signs saying ‘Limit Ten Knots’ . . .” Amelia Bedelia was still confused.

  “That’s actually about eleven and a half miles per hour on land. Going faster makes a wave; we call it the wake. That causes tied-up boats to knock against the pier and get damaged.”

  Pearl sailed closer to Blackberry Island. Amelia Bedelia could just see the roof of the deserted cottage in the middle of the island. But what got her attention was a brand-new dock extending into the water. A speedboat was tied to it.

  “Perfect!” said Amelia Bedelia. “I’ll try a round turn with two half hitches.”

  “Let’s anchor around the other side instead, and wade ashore,” said Pearl. “Those people in the boat could be pirates.” She laughed. “That’s the beauty of sailing—the boat is silent and you can be sneaky.”

  They dropped the anchor, waded ashore, and began walking toward the cottage. When they got close, Amelia Bedelia and Pearl began crawling on their hands and knees, slinking silently through the bushes like a pair of stalking tigers. They considered themselves experts at sneaking up on people. Together they had snuck up on Jason and his pirate buddies, overhearing their plans to disrupt the annual Beach Ball.

  “See?” said Amelia Bedelia. “The cottage looks just like it did when we left it, except the blackberries aren’t ripe yet this year. There’s no one here.”

  Then a voi
ce boomed behind them. “Hey, you kids! What are you doing on my island?”

  Amelia Bedelia had often wondered how she would react in a scary situation. She was sure she would stay calm. Keep cool. Be courageous.

  But at the sound of that man’s voice, Amelia Bedelia screamed “YEE-AHHH!” and leaped into Pearl’s arms like a baby. Her dog, Finally, had done the same thing the first time she’d heard thunder. Amelia Bedelia buried her face in Pearl’s shoulder. When she heard loud laughter, she looked up.

  A man wearing a baseball cap was bent over double, trying to catch his breath. He was laughing so hard the leaves on the trees were practically shaking. Amelia Bedelia could not see his face, just the top of his cap. Standing next to him was a lady who was clearly amused by the man’s reaction. Her dangly earrings flashed in the sun.

  It suddenly dawned on Amelia Bedelia that this was the same woman she’d seen with Bob Jackson outside the café.

  That’s when the man finally straightened up and said, “I’m sorry I scared you, Amelia Bedelia! But you should have seen the look on your face!” Bob took off his glasses and wiped tears of laughter out of his eyes.