[Measure of Devotion 03.0] Measure of Peace

by Caethes Faron

  When he was satisfied, he turned to Rich and held out his hand. “Thank you for your help, Sheriff.”

  “Not a problem. I learned early on that I would never truly be off-duty.” Rich didn’t hesitate before shaking Kale’s hand, despite what he had just learned about his past.

  “If you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get back to Jason. I trust John can see you inside.” Kale nodded to John and then headed back to the parlor. When he sat next to Jason, Kale gave him a smile and rested his hand on Jason’s knee. That seemed to be all the information Jason needed on the subject.

  At six o’clock, the insanity ended. Kale didn’t know whether the people had ceased coming or if someone was stopping them. Or maybe it was general knowledge that viewings ended at six just as it appeared to be general knowledge that social rules dictated one went to a viewing even if one did not know the deceased by any more than reputation. At least the funeral would be a private affair.

  “Where is everyone?” Jason seemed bewildered.

  “There’s no one left. It’s all over. You did well.”

  “Thank the gods.” Jason slumped against Kale. “I thought they would never stop.”

  “I know. I’m so proud of you. If the urge to throw everyone out was even half as strong in you as it was in me, I’m impressed by your restraint. The only thing holding me back was knowing you’d never forgive me.”

  “Thanks for being here for me.”

  “Of course. Where else would I be?”

  Martin entered. “Shall I allow the slaves in now to pay their respects?”

  “Yes.” Jason stood.

  “You can keep your seat. No one expects anything of you. It’s been a long day.” Jason had done so well, Kale didn’t want him to push himself too hard.

  “No, Kale, let me show them respect. At least these people knew him.”

  The slaves filed past Robert’s coffin. Kale noted that there was hardly a dry eye among them. Each offered heartfelt condolences to Jason, honoring him as the son of their esteemed master. It was the only sensible thing that had happened all day. Kale felt for these men and women. Their grief was real, and they had no comfort, only uncertainty for the future.

  After the last of the slaves left, only Kale, Jason, Demetri, John, and Martin remained. “It’s time to seal the casket. Everyone should pay their last respects.”

  Kale approached first, since he was the least close to Robert. “Thank you for giving him the best parts of yourself.” Kale struggled against the unexpected lump in his throat as he prepared to say the words he had wanted to say to Robert in life. “Thank you for giving me to him.” It washed over Kale in that moment how much he owed the man in the casket. He turned his mind away from the dark trail his life could have taken had Robert not intervened. There was only one way to thank him. “I’ll take care of him for you.” Promise made, he stood back, giving the others a bit of privacy. John went next and then Demetri. Jason was last. He spent a few minutes whispering to his father then stepped backward.

  “Demetri? Do you have his pocket watch?”

  “Yes, sir. I brought it in case you wanted it.” Demetri stepped forward and handed it to Jason.

  Jason opened it and looked at the picture of his mother. Kale stepped to him, placing a hand on his back as a tear fell down Jason’s cheek. Jason kissed the picture and closed the watch. Tenderly, he placed it on Robert’s chest and wrapped both of his hands around it. “You finally have your Lena back.” Jason stepped away and nodded to Martin.

  Kale wrapped his arm firmly around Jason’s shoulders as Martin closed the casket. He wished they could have the funeral now and let it all be over with, but this was the way it was done. The casket would sit sealed in the house for the night and be buried in the morning.

  Sophie joined them as they all ate together in the dining room. Kale took great comfort in her presence. She had helped him and Jason through many a tough time. While Martin provided practical support, Sophie provided the emotional. Talking to her in the kitchen the previous day had been such a welcome respite. Somehow, she made everything seem so simple. Her encouragement made Kale believe they would get through this.

  Jason insisted Demetri eat with them. Kale knew it had to be uncomfortable for him. Demetri would never disobey an order, but it was plain to see that this went against everything he knew. Eventually, he relaxed when it was apparent that no one expected him to join in the conversation.

  There wasn’t much conversation anyway. A drowsy air hung in the room. Each other’s presence was enough. It communicated all that needed to be said. They sat in a silent bond of love and support. Kale caught Jason stealing occasional looks at his father’s vacant chair, his eyes more wistful than pained. Thomas sat to Kale’s right. Kale had barely seen him all day. It must be uncomfortable for him, not really having a place in the household. Kale patted his brother on the back, getting him to look up from his plate. Once he had Thomas’s eye, he smiled and was glad to see him readily return it. Knowing he had a brother’s support was an unfamiliar source of comfort.

  It was a motley crew that sat around the table. John and Martin had readily earned each other’s respect. They seemed so different, but they both possessed a strong work ethic and keen sense of loyalty. Martin and Sophie had both fit right in as soon as they arrived. Darlene had been invited to join them, but she had huffed about it not being right and needing to supervise the kitchen. Even so, it had been easy to see the gesture meant something to her.

  After it was clear no one would be eating anything else, Jason stood. “Thank you all. Somehow the grief is made lighter by knowing I do not carry it alone. I wish you all a good night and invite you to breakfast with me tomorrow morning before the service.” Jason’s gaze rested on Demetri before he stepped around the table to leave. Kale followed.

  “You were exceptional today. I don’t think I’ve ever been so proud.” Kale helped Jason undress in their room.

  “I’m just glad it’s over.”

  “I know. Do you think you’ll be able to sleep tonight?”

  “Yes. I’m more tired than I’ve ever been. I don’t know how my father managed it when my mother died, and he had me running around. The thought of caring for a child during something like this makes my head spin.”

  Kale kissed Jason’s neck and took him to bed. “Then it’s a good thing we don’t have kids.”

  “That wasn’t my point.”

  “I know. People rise to what’s expected of them. In this case, you rose to your own expectations. If it was up to me, you would have spent the day wrapped in my arms, the rest of the world be damned.”

  “Hmm. I didn’t know that was an option.” Jason yawned. His eyes were already closed, and he snuggled in close to Kale.

  “It always is.” Kale’s words were drowned out by Jason’s snore. Kale smiled into Jason’s hair and relaxed. They were going to be just fine.

  Chapter Forty-Two

  The funeral was small. Intimate. Even with the casket and chairs, they all fit nicely into the parlor. Mr. Garrity, Robert’s attorney, was there both as a mourner and to ensure Robert’s wishes were honored. Robert’s requests for the funeral had been simple. Mr. Garrity read a letter Robert had written for the occasion. John said a few words; a prayer was uttered. Robert could never be accused of being a religious man. However, it was tradition and certainly couldn’t do any harm.

  Jason knew he should listen, but he only lent half an ear to the proceedings. He was focused on the feel of Kale’s hand in his, the presence of the people in the room, all of whom depended on him in some form or another. His eyes never strayed far from the casket. The man who had built all this, who had brought these people together, lay at peace within it. Now, Robert had passed the mantle to Jason. It was a heavy weight, but one Jason wanted to take pride in carrying. He was a Wadsworth. Never had that name meant more to him than it did this day. He wondered how it must have felt for Kale the day Jason had given the name to him. Kale always seemed proud
of it. Jason had taken it for granted his entire life. It was only a name, but it was a piece of his father that had been passed down to him. It was a standard of principles, of ethics, of character that was Jason’s to live up to.

  Kale stood. Looking around, Jason saw that John, Demetri, Mr. Garrity, and Martin were all approaching the casket. It was time then.

  Jason hefted the weight onto his shoulder. The double doors leading to the backyard were opened, and together they carried his father out into the sunlight. The morning dew lent a fresh scent to the air. Jason squinted against the pale blue light until his eyes adjusted. Around him was everything his father loved. Thick green grass cushioned their steps. The men his father had trusted walked beside him, shouldering the same burden as Jason. They walked in step together, solemn and reflective. At that moment, carrying his father to his final resting place, Jason’s heart swelled. Robert had been a great man, who left Jason an amazing legacy. The grief of the last few days receded. His father was being laid to rest with his wife and baby girl. If he hadn’t fallen ill, then Jason would have never been able to reconcile with him. It could have been so much worse. Jason had made peace with Robert. He could ask for nothing more.

  Slowly, they lowered the casket into the ground. Again a prayer was said, and the ground was blessed. It had been consecrated by his father’s sweat, tamed by his hand to provide for a family. This was his father’s land, and it would welcome him in death. Jason shoveled dirt onto the casket and watched as the others followed him. After they had each taken a turn, a slave continued to fill in the grave. Jason watched each shovelful of dirt land. He let his desperation, his fear, and his worries be buried with his father. He wanted to bury his grief as well, but it wouldn’t do any good. The goal wasn’t to hide his grief away; it was to work through it and diminish it by continuing what his father had started.

  “How are you doing?” Kale’s soft voice was a contrast to the steady thump of the dirt landing in the grave, the birds chirping in the trees, and the cows mooing in the distance that had lulled Jason into an almost trancelike state.

  “Good. Better than I thought.” Jason looked up from the grave to show Kale his face, that he meant it. He was surprised to see that everyone else had returned indoors. “I’m glad he’s here with my mother and Lydia, that he’ll always be here on this land he loved so much.” Jason admired the memorials at the other two gravesites. Baby Wadsworth was marked with a cherub carved out of granite, little wings much too small to be of any use to the chubby baby. A tall, gorgeous angel peering down with such a look of tenderness and concern that it seemed completely lifelike stood at the head of his mother’s grave. Soon, Jason would choose a memorial to place at his father’s site.

  “I heard you thinking inside. Did it help?”

  “Yes. I feel like I’ve received some closure today. I can move forward.”

  “I’m glad. I honestly didn’t know for a while how you would do.”

  “Me either. This is such a peaceful place. The weather is perfect. It’s a beautiful day. I don’t know how this could have gone better. I was worried that I’d be so distraught that it would be difficult to visit his grave in the future. Instead, I’ll be able to remember this peaceful feeling I have right now any time I see it.”

  “That’s wonderful, Jason. I couldn’t wish anything better for you.” Kale raised their joined hands to his lips for a gentle kiss.

  “If only you had the same.” Kale didn’t have any place to visit to remember his mother, much less a place as nice as this. He deserved better. “When I order the memorial for my father, I want you to order one for your mother. We’ll place it here in the family plot. That way, you have a place to come to in order to reflect on her life and honor her memory.”

  Kale took a deep breath, prompting Jason to look away from his family’s graves and focus on Kale. His eyes were misty. “I’m honored, Jason, and incredibly grateful for the offer and the gesture, but are you sure? This is your family’s plot.”

  “And you’re my family. She brought you into the world, and I’m in her debt for it. This is the least I can do. She deserves it. She was your mother and a human being who should be respected and afforded dignity in death, even if she wasn’t in life.”

  “Thank you.” Kale’s voice was husky. Jason squeezed his hand and looked into his eyes, trying to communicate as much love as he could through his gaze.

  After a silent moment, Jason tugged on Kale’s hand. “Let’s go inside. Sophie and Darlene have prepared a luncheon, and I don’t want to appear ungrateful, especially when I have so much to be grateful for at the moment.” Side by side, they walked to the house. Inside his chest was a hollowness Jason knew would never go away. He would simply learn to live with it. As time marched onward, he would build new memories, share new experiences, build up his love with Kale, until the hole seemed tiny due to the sheer magnitude of what surrounded it.

  Chapter Forty-Three

  The smell of coffee was enough to perk Kale up after the luncheon. There had been too much food and not enough self-control on his part. His stomach was beyond full. The notion that he would need to make room for the coffee was almost unthinkable, but he needed the drink to keep him alert and free from the clutches of after-meal fatigue.

  They were all together in the dining room. Kale had taken the seat on Jason’s left because he was unwilling to let go of his hand when they had come in from the gravesite. Jason’s offer to memorialize his mother had overwhelmed Kale. In all his years, he had never been more humbled. It was more than he had ever known to hope for.

  “Do you have the will with you, Mr. Garrity?” Jason broke the comfortable silence that had settled over the room as everyone drank their coffee.

  “Yes, sir, but we certainly don’t need to dispense with it now if you’re not up for it.”

  “Thank you, but I’d like to go ahead and get it over with, if you don’t mind. There’s no sense dragging you out here again.”

  Mr. Garrity rose to fetch the will from his briefcase. Demetri took the opportunity to stand as well.

  “Where are you going, Demetri? I want you to stay here.”

  Reluctantly, Demetri sat, trying valiantly to hide his discomfort. Poor fellow. Kale could only imagine how awkward he must feel. Thomas, who sat in Kale’s normal spot across from Jason, appeared to have accepted that his presence was desired, but that nothing was expected of him. The twinge of discomfort on his face was due to overeating. Kale wondered how long it would take him to realize he would never go without a meal again.

  The will was short and straightforward. Robert had no family other than Jason. He left twenty percent of the business to John and everything else to Jason with an entreaty to care for the people who depended on the ranch. There were no surprises, though John seemed a little surprised that he had been left such a large ownership stake. Kale was amazed he hadn’t been left more, especially given the very little faith Robert placed in his son to manage the business.

  “It will take some time for the will to make its way through the courts, but seeing as there are no creditors and no one who could pose any serious claim to the estate, I don’t anticipate any problems.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Garrity. If I may intrude upon your time for a while longer, there’s something I wanted to discuss with all of you.” Mr. Garrity nodded, and Jason continued. “As most of you know, Kale and I are somewhat politically active in Naiara. We’ve made some good friends there, and seeing as we live right outside the capital, a good many of those friends are quite influential. The treaty regulating trade between Arine and Naiara is up for renewal soon. There is a strong movement in Naiara pushing the government to discontinue trade with Arine as long as the institution of slavery is still practiced here.”

  “I didn’t think that movement was being taken very seriously.” Mr. Garrity was likely the only one besides Martin who kept up with politics.

  “I wouldn’t doubt the strength of Naiaran feelings on the matter. I w
as raised there, and the hatred for slavery runs deep. It goes against everything the Naiarans take pride in.” Sophie turned to Jason. “Do you think anything will come of it? Are you planning on doing something?”

  “Yes. They’re pushing hard for abolition, but Kale and I have been trying to persuade our friends to take a more practical approach. We know Arine won’t accept abolition right now, and we don’t want to waste this opportunity. That’s what I wanted everyone’s input on. We would like the Arinian government to adopt a law allowing a master to free his slaves, should he want to.”

  “Freedom has never been a possibility for slaves. It undermines the entire institution. Owning slaves is an Arinian birthright, even for those who will never be able to afford one. It’s part of our national identity. Our forefathers went forth and conquered, bringing back slaves to build our country to greatness.” Mr. Garrity’s voice was firm with pride but not harsh.

  “I’d remind you, Mr. Garrity, that there are two slaves sitting at this table and a former slave sitting at my side as my partner.”

  “How slaves are treated under your roof is your business, Mr. Wadsworth. I’m simply telling you the hard truth. This is no little thing you’re proposing.”

  “Couldn’t it be argued that a master has the right to do whatever he likes with his slaves? If he wants to kill a slave, he can. Why can’t he free a slave if he likes?” Kale knew from his years as a slave that perception was everything. The only way a slave could ever get what he wanted was to convince the master that it was really what the master wanted.

  Mr. Garrity stayed silent a moment. “If such a bill has a chance of passing, it’d be by employing that argument.”

  “John?” Jason turned to his new business partner.

  “I’ve worked side by side with slaves my whole life. Never did understand what made us different. The working class out here, though, they dream of the day they can own a slave. They won’t want to give up on it.”