[Measure of Devotion 03.0] Measure of Peace

by Caethes Faron

  “I assumed he’d want to come to Naiara so he could be free.”

  “That’s quite an assumption. He’s in a different situation than I was. Freedom isn’t something you can just thrust on a man. Do you remember how difficult the transition was for me? And I had an incredibly supportive lover and absolutely no financial worries.”

  Jason recalled those early days after Kale had been freed. It had been an adjustment. “I have no problem with us supporting him indefinitely.”

  “I know that, but he doesn’t, and simply telling him won’t convince him. I had a problem with living off of you, and I’m your partner. It’s not freedom if you’re reliant on someone else. He needs to have his own plan. If that plan includes living with us, then great, but if not, we can’t force it on him. He may need some time to adjust. He fits in well here, and he’s safe. Not to mention there’s a girl here who’s caught his fancy.”

  “I just supposed he’d want to be free.”

  “He does, and I want him to be free more than anything, but he’s been taught since birth to fear freedom. He’ll be free someday. I’m just not sure it’s today. I love you for assuming he’d live with us, though. You didn’t have to.”

  “He’s your brother, Kale, and the only family I have besides you.”

  “Thanks for saying so.” Kale kissed him, and they went down to breakfast.

  * * *

  “So, Thomas, Jason and I have been talking, and we want to know what your plans are. We’re leaving tomorrow for home, and you’re welcome to join us. If you want to come to Naiara, you’ll be a free man. You can live with us for as long as you like. We have plenty of room, but it’s entirely up to you.”

  Breakfast was done, and Jason sat across from Kale and Thomas. He found it interesting how Thomas pursed his lips the same way Kale did when considering his words.

  “It’s not just Kale who wants you to join us, Thomas. I do too.”

  “We both just want you to do what’s best for you.”

  Thomas nodded. “I appreciate the offer. I’ve thought about it a lot since we talked, but I’d like to stay here if that’s still possible.”

  “Of course it is.”

  “It’s just that I feel like I belong here. I love the work, being outside, helping to build something. It’s more satisfying than anything I’ve ever done. I wouldn’t have the first idea of what to do if I were free with you in Naiara. I don’t know what my purpose would be. I’m treated better here than I ever have been, and I don’t want to leave it just yet.”

  “I understand. You don’t have to justify it to me as long as you know your reasons. If you ever change your mind, just call, and we’ll be on the next train to get you.”

  “Thanks, but you two have something really great. I wouldn’t want to get in the way.”

  “Trust me, Little Brother, you couldn’t if you tried.”

  “Maybe not, but that’s not a good life for any of us. You don’t need your little brother around, and I don’t need to worry about intruding. I’m useful here, and I think the others like me.”

  “Good. If you’ve found your place, then you should stake it.”

  “Besides, you’ll be back here soon enough to free me. I have faith that you’ll get this law passed. And if you don’t, we can talk about it then.”

  “Fair enough.”

  “I’ve got to go. I promised I’d ride out with Billy to check on the herd.”

  “Then we won’t keep you. You’ll be back in time for dinner?”

  “Should be. I’ll see you then.” Thomas smiled at Jason before leaving.

  “You were right.” Jason didn’t know why he was still amazed at Kale’s ability to read people.

  Kale shrugged. “I can understand how he feels. It means a lot to him that you’re willing to take him with us. It means a lot to me too.”

  “Well, I’m glad he feels at home here. It’ll be nice to have a family member still living in the house. I don’t think there’s any question as to how he’ll be treated, but I’ll make sure to make it clear to John before we leave.”

  “Which reminds me, I told Thomas I’d ask John to teach him how to read.”

  “I’ll take care of it.”

  * * *

  The next afternoon, Jason placed the last of his mother’s journals back in the window seat. He’d read most of them and skimmed through the rest. He had learned a lot about his mother from her writings, mainly that she was so much more than the woman he’d idealized in his memory. He was taking the painting of her from around the time he was born back home with him, but the journals belonged at the ranch along with the family portraits.

  Kale had spent the morning with Thomas and was waiting for him at the car. They would need to leave soon to catch their train. Jason had wanted just a few more minutes alone in his childhood home. On his way to the front door, he stopped inside his father’s study. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. The smell of cigar smoke still hung in the air. His mother had been right. It smelled like home.

  Jason’s eyes were damp. This was silly. He and Kale would be back to see the memorials installed in the family plot when they were ready. Jason closed his father’s door and went outside.

  Kale was leaning against the car, talking to Thomas. As soon as he saw Jason, he straightened. He and Thomas said a few words, hugged, and then Thomas came toward Jason.

  “Bye, Jason.” Thomas didn’t even bother with a handshake. He threw his arms around Jason and patted him on the back.

  “Bye, Thomas. Take care of yourself. If you need anything—”

  “You’re just a phone call away. I know. Kale’s been more than a little insistent on that point.”

  Jason smiled. “Good. We’ll see you in a few months’ time.”

  “I look forward to it.”

  They nodded to each other, and Thomas ran off in the direction of the stables. Jason watched him for a moment before turning to Kale.

  “You ready?” Kale stood with his hand on the door handle.

  Jason walked to the passenger side and opened the door. “Yeah, I’m ready.” He took one last look at the ranch, at the home that now held happy memories from more than just his childhood, and got in the car. As soon as he shut the door, Kale started down the drive. Once they were on the highway, Kale placed his hand palm up between them in invitation. Jason took it and relaxed in his seat. He would miss his father, John, the ranch, but he was ready to get back to his home. Kale had been right. It had been worth the trip.

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Kale had never seen the Timar estate before. Manicured gardens welcomed guests to the expansive grounds. An elaborate stone staircase led to the intricately detailed entrance. Kale counted twelve windows—six on each side of the front door—on the first of three floors. It was a stark reminder of the wealth Jason controlled. It was easy to forget, given the simple lifestyle Kale enjoyed with him.

  A butler led them into the sitting room where Renee waited for them. Kale hadn’t seen her since the awful day he’d been sold. Despite what he’d said to Jason, he had been worried about how he would react to seeing her. Surprisingly, he didn’t feel much of anything. She’d hardly changed. Her face had gently aged but was still as enchanting as it had been. Her dark red hair was swept up in a loose bun, and her dark blue eyes were just as fiery as before, with a few faint laugh lines around the edges.

  “Jason, Kale, how good to see you!” Renee stood and gave Jason a kiss on each cheek. When she came to Kale, she hesitated. Kale brought her hand to his lips, and as soon as he did, she leaned in to kiss him on the cheek. “Please, come in and sit.”

  Renee had little sandwiches and tea waiting for them. Kale and Jason sat side by side on the sofa while Renee occupied a chair across from them. “Thank you for having us on such short notice.” Jason stayed on the edge of his seat.

  “It’s no trouble. It is your house, after all.”

  “Maybe on paper, but it’s your domain, and I never want to i
ntrude.”

  “I know, Jason. You’re the only one who could think you’re intruding. Now, what is this matter you wanted to discuss with me?”

  Kale didn’t listen as Jason explained the situation. For a while, he’d harbored an irrational jealousy of Renee. She was legally tied to Jason on paper. There was no such bond between himself and the man he loved. The only paper that had ever legally joined them was Kale’s title, and Jason had given that back to him. As they had built their life together as equals, Kale realized Jason had given up that paper tie to forge an even deeper bond between them. Once he had made that realization, the jealousy faded.

  “I’d love to help. I know exactly the politician we can use to introduce the bill. This is a marvelous idea. I’m so happy you came to me with it. I’d hate to be left out.” Renee’s face was alight with the promise of a new challenge. It reminded Kale of the girl she had been when he’d first met her.

  “Good. We’ll need to manage this from both the Arinian and Naiaran sides for it to work.”

  Renee waved the hand that wasn’t holding her tea cup. “Absolutely. We’ll coordinate everything.”

  Kale could see Jason moving to rise. This was his last chance. “I’d like to take a look at the gardens before we go, if you don’t mind.” It was the first thing Kale had said since they’d arrived. Kale looked at Jason. He knew he was anxious to leave.

  “Not at all. Renee, Kale’s quite the gardener at home.”

  “Really?”

  “No, it’s just impressive to Jason because he couldn’t keep a weed alive if he needed to.”

  Renee laughed. It was the same laugh Kale remembered from the night he had arranged for her and Jason to meet.

  “I was hoping you might give me a tour.”

  “Certainly. Jason?” Renee turned to Jason in a gesture of invitation.

  “Jason actually has some phone calls he needs to make before we leave.” Kale hoped Jason would give him this time alone with Renee. After a brief moment of eye contact, Jason nodded.

  “Yes, that’s right. You two go on ahead.”

  Kale gestured for Renee to lead the way. The gardens really were amazing. Kale thought it must take a staff of half a dozen to keep them so well maintained. Renee was quiet. She had always been an intelligent woman. She no doubt knew that Kale’s interest in the gardens was secondary to his primary purpose.

  He waited until they were well away from the house and on an enchanting path that led through a maze of rose bushes. “Do you get lonely?”

  Renee smiled. “Heavens, no. I use the manor here to house women who have fallen on unfortunate times and help them get back on their feet. I have friends here and some who visit. I still spend much of my time in Perdana and, as you know, there’s never a dull moment there.”

  “You don’t crave companionship?”

  “Not as much as you might think. There are nights when it’s lonely, but then the day comes, and I realize there are more important parts of my life.”

  “You know he wouldn’t begrudge you a lover.”

  “I couldn’t do that to him.” Kale eyed her incredulously. “It’s different with you and him. You had claim to him long before I did. No, I made my bed, and I’ll lie in it. If I took a lover, it would cause scandal, and my mother would push for a divorce. I like the arrangement we have. I don’t wish to alter it.”

  “I don’t wish you to live your life alone.”

  “Don’t worry about me, Kale.” Renee stopped him with a hand on his arm and deliberately met his eyes. “I’m very close with my girlfriends.”

  Kale was caught off guard. He supposed it made sense, but it was the last thing he’d expected. “I didn’t realize.”

  They resumed walking. “It’s sweet of you to care after everything I’ve done. I know you got my apology in writing, but I want you to know how truly sorry I am for the pain I caused you and Jason. I’m amazed you don’t harbor any ill will toward me.”

  “I can’t. If he hadn’t married you, he wouldn’t have had the money and resources to free me or move to Naiara and have me accepted as a citizen. Besides, it was my fault as much as yours. I could have stopped Jason from selling me any time I wanted, but I didn’t. That was my choice, not yours. You did what you thought was best for yourself.”

  “And you did what you thought was best for Jason. It’s why you won in the end.”

  “Yes, it is.” It wasn’t a competition, but there was no denying that Kale had won. “Thank you for your support. It’ll go a long way in getting reforms passed.”

  “Of course. I’m glad you asked. This is going to become a reality, Kale, and it’s going to be a very good thing. It’s just a first step, and the first is always the hardest. Improving the lives of slaves will improve all our lives. Someday, this country is going to realize that by helping the least fortunate, we help everyone.”

  “And you’re the one who’s going to show them.” Kale smiled at her. “We should go back inside. Jason’s eager to get home.”

  “I can imagine. Take good care of him. Don’t let him lose himself.”

  “I won’t. He’s safe with me.”

  “I know. You’re better for him than I ever could have been. You understand him in a way I never did.”

  “He still loves you, and I know you love him. You offered him something special, just different. If this bill passes, there’s a chance we’ll be spending more time in Arine. There’s the ranch to check on, as well as my brother, and the business in Perdana. It might be nice for us all to visit occasionally.”

  “I would enjoy that.”

  They reached the house to find Jason waiting at the door. “Thanks for your help, Renee, but we’ve got to be going now if we’re going to catch the train. I don’t want to spend any more nights away from home than I have to.”

  “I understand. Thank you for coming. I hope to see you again with good news.”

  “We look forward to it.” Kale kissed her on the cheek and then stepped aside for Jason to do the same. A few minutes later, they were in the car on the way to the station.

  “How was your talk with Renee?”

  Kale took Jason’s hand. “We made peace with each other.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes. It was time.” Kale smiled at the love and concern emanating from the man next to him. Life may not be a competition, but he had indeed won.

  Chapter Forty-Seven

  They arrived home early in the morning. The sky was still pink from the sun stretching across the horizon like a child rising from bed. Kale didn’t think home had ever looked more beautiful. The back garden would be a mess from his neglect, but he relished having the project to tackle. They had let Neissa know when to expect them, so Kale was confident they would find something waiting for them in the kitchen.

  Jason unlocked the front door, and Kale followed him inside. He couldn’t help taking a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent of home. They plod up the stairs in silence. Kale had left everything in the trunk of the car except the valise that had ridden in the back seat. As soon as they entered their bedroom, he tossed it on a chair, relieved he no longer had to worry about its contents.

  “I don’t want to wake up until tomorrow.” The bed muffled Jason’s voice, and Kale turned to see him face down on top of the comforter, fully clothed.

  Kale smirked and suddenly desired a little mischief. He fell on top of Jason and tickled his ribs. Jason started laughing uncontrollably, squirming underneath Kale until he had rolled over onto his back. Jason’s merry face brought a smile to Kale’s lips. To his surprise, he felt something begin to stir in his groin. He almost sighed with relief. It wasn’t an erection, but it was a hopeful start. Maybe after they had some sleep he could try to coax his desire out from its hibernation.

  “You don’t need to get up. Just wiggle out of your clothes.” Kale undressed Jason, his lover scooting around until his trousers came free. The sight of Jason’s body made Kale feel even more at home. It was wonderful t
o be back in their own bed, without the worries and stresses of being around other people in a foreign house.

  Kale tossed Jason’s clothes on the ground, rid himself of his own, and folded down the comforter, climbing in next to Jason. As soon as his back hit the sheet, Jason cuddled against him, not even bothering to open his eyes to find Kale. The stubble on Jason’s chin from the journey scratched at his chest. For the first time since Kale had discovered the letter Jason was hiding, he was able to relax. Tension poured out of him. The curtains were drawn, keeping all but a sliver of sunlight out. Kale’s eyes scanned their room, pleased to see it unchanged. He and Jason had both been through such emotional turmoil and upheaval away from home. There was a certain amount of comfort in the knowledge that through it all their home remained a steady place for them to return to.

  It was the first time in his life he had a place to call home, to give him the comfort and security that a home did. The entire time in Arine, he had been tense. Every moment, he’d been on edge, even when he wasn’t consciously aware of it. Arine wasn’t his country. He had been born there, but his freedom had come from Naiara. There had to be a way for him to reconcile the memories of his life in Arine with the life he currently lived. With time, he felt he’d be able to look upon his memories with an appropriate amount of fondness for the good times and distance from the painful recollections.

  Kale ran his hands through Jason’s hair. A few stray silver strands had appeared over the last couple of weeks. Some of Jason’s color had faded. The luster was absent from his hair and skin. The brown of his eyes appeared as vivid as before, except a shadow had appeared behind them. Kale didn’t know if it would ever completely go away. In the space of a few weeks, Jason had aged a couple of years. Kale didn’t mind, other than to worry about the emotional implications. Jason was still the most stunning man he had ever seen. The changes to his appearance only spoke of a man who had given his whole heart over to experiencing life. Kale couldn’t be more proud to be lying next to him.