by Krista Lakes
The paper of her gown crinkled as she tried to find a comfortable position on the cold plastic of the exam table. The back of the exam table either needed to be up just a little bit higher so she could lean against it, or flatter so she didn't feel like she could lean. There was no comfortable way to sit, but the table wasn't long enough to lay down on without putting her feet up in the stirrups. Add in that the paper gown let in a draft and left her back exposed, and it wasn't a very comfortable position to be in.
“I'm sorry to keep you waiting,” the doctor told her as she entered the physician's side door pulling a machine behind her. Dr. Misti-Cooper had a friendly smile and an easy manner that helped Mia feel more comfortable.
“Did you get the results?” Mia asked. She fiddled with the string of the gown between her fingers. Half of her wanted a yes and the other a no. She wasn't ready to be pregnant, but then again, she'd never thought that it would ever happen.
The doctor sat on the small rolling chair and scooted over to take her hand. “The test came back positive,” she told her.
Mia gasped and couldn't help the tears that filled her eyes. The doctor gave her a moment, just holding her hand and being a solid presence.
“You okay?” Dr. Misti-Cooper asked. “I'm guessing this was rather unexpected.”
“Very unexpected,” Mia told her. “What happens next?”
“Well, given your history, we need to check the placement of the embryo with an ultrasound.” The doctor smiled and pulled the ultra sound machine over. “It won't hurt at all.”
Mia nodded. She was having a hard time staying calm. There was so much that could go wrong. What if she was pregnant, but the baby was in the wrong spot? What if the test the doctor did was actually wrong and there was nothing there? What if the test showed she was just going to lose this pregnancy too?
She'd given up on the idea that she would ever be a mother to her own biological children. The thought that she had a chance was terrifying and exciting. She just hoped she wasn't going to be let down and have to go through the process of knowing she'd never have this opportunity ever again.
“Lay back and relax,” Dr. Misti-Cooper told her, booting up the machine and getting some gel out. “This is going to feel a little odd.”
Mia nodded as the doctor got the ultrasound wand prepped. “I'm ready.”
“Okay. Cold and pressure,” the doctor said. Mia tensed slightly but made herself breathe through it. She took a deep breath in, focusing on relaxing all her muscles and trying to hold still at the same time.
“You're doing great,” Dr. Misti-Cooper told her, moving the wand around slightly. Mia could see the screen. It reminded her of an old black and white TV as strange shapes danced across the screen. “There he is.”
On the screen was a little black spot on a white dot. It was different than the rest of the screen, and Mia instinctively knew it was her baby. A tear of pure joy welled up in her eyes, and she let out the breath she'd been holding in.
There was a baby.
“It won't look like a baby for a few more weeks,” the doctor explained. She moved the computer mouse and started taking measurements. “But he's there. You're measuring at four weeks, three days and the placement is perfect.”
Mia stared at that small dot on the screen. Emotions rolled through her in waves like the ocean, threatening to drown her. She'd told herself for so long that this was never going to happen, that this moment was impossible, that now she didn't have any idea how to handle it.
It took a moment for Mia to find her voice. “But I thought I couldn't get pregnant with my condition.”
Dr. Misti-Cooper shrugged. “So did I, but apparently, you are a medical marvel. It's still very early, though, so we'll need to keep a close eye on both of you, but from what I can see now, you two look perfect.”
The little dot shifted on the screen and Mia's heart filled with more love than she ever thought possible.
“You said it's a he?” she whispered, her eyes never leaving the screen.
“I call all these little guys 'he' until we know for sure,” the doctor explained with a friendly chuckle. “It's still way too early to tell. The earliest we can find out is at ten weeks with a maternal blood test, but most people still find out at the twenty-week ultrasound.”
“Twenty weeks?” Mia repeated. It felt like such a long time and yet absolutely not enough time at the same moment. She swallowed hard. Dr. Misti-Cooper gently patted her leg.
“You're going to have to take it easy. Be gentle with yourself. Given your history, I don't want you taking any unnecessary risks,” the doctor told her. “No sports where you might fall. No horseback riding, ice-skating, bike riding, that kind of thing.”
“Okay,” Mia agreed. She wasn't going to do anything to risk this miracle baby. She was ready to sit in a padded room for the next nine months if it meant her baby would be safe.
The machine beeped as it finished printing out copies of the ultrasound picture.
“Here you go,” the doctor said, handing her several copies. The image was just blurry black and white circles, but to Mia, it was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. “I'll go get you some information on what foods and medicines to avoid while you get dressed.”
Mia nodded, not really paying attention to the doctor as she left. Mia was too busy staring at the picture in her hands. She was going to be a mother. There was a little person growing inside of her. She already felt incredibly protective of it.
“Don't worry little one,” she whispered to the white dot in the photo “I've got you, and I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You're safe with me.”
Chapter 30
Carter
Carter sat in the garage and went over the designs for his next year's car models and felt a wave of frustration wash over him. He wished he could just go to the plant and start on them now. There was so much that needed to be done that he couldn't do from his mountain home. As much as he loved being out on the ranch, it certainly made doing business ridiculously hard. He wished he could go down to the city for at least a couple of hours just so that he could get a few things accomplished.
Without access to his office and his usual business interactions, he felt out of control. He had far too much freedom out here, and he missed the hustle of the office. The ranch was great, but he craved the thrill of the deal and the excitement of being around people who shared his dream. He wasn't good at just sitting back and letting things happen, so being out here in the middle of nowhere was hard on him.
He sighed and pushed his chair away from the drafting table. If he was feeling like this, it meant it was time to take a break. He got up and went to the paddocks to see to his horses. This was the part that made being out here tolerable. He loved the horses and doing manual labor. It was so different from what he was paid to do that it was pleasurable.
The walk was chilly, but the sun still shone through the clouds, and the snows hadn't come yet. The mountain tops were white now, and frost covered the grass each morning, so it wouldn't be long now, but today was beautiful. A crisp, cool fall day with nothing to worry about. For the moment, the world was as it should be.
A security guard nodded respectfully as he passed and Carter returned the motion, almost like a salute. He hoped that whoever was sending the threats would be caught soon. He needed them to be caught so that he could go back to work and his real life.
Hopeful Dreamer nickered softly at him as he approached the fence to the big open space. The foal raised his head and began dancing around his mother with joy that his friend had come to visit him. If that wasn't enough to make him feel better, then nothing was, Carter thought to himself as he opened the gate and went inside the paddock.
It was amazing how much the little foal had grown in two months. He was still all legs and odd angles, but the grace of his sire was starting to show. He was a deep black with white forelegs and a star on his forehead. Star Dreamer was an appropriate name for him.
&
nbsp; The foal nipped at his sleeve as he came close, asking him to play in the yellow grass. His mother watched, munching on a mouthful of grass stems. She knew that Carter would keep her baby safe, so she almost seemed happy to have someone else keep the energetic young coal entertained for a while.
Carter checked the colt over with his hands, making sure that he didn't have any burrs or injuries. He knew that Laura did this every evening when the horses came in, but it felt good to do it himself. If he was going to be stuck here, he might as well feel like he was useful.
Hopeful Dreamer's head popped up and she froze for a moment before deciding there was no reason for alarm and went back to eating. Carter followed her gaze to see Brian coming up to the fence. The big man had a smile on his face which made Carter hopeful for good news. He gave Star Dreamer one last pat before walking back to the fence. The colt tried to follow him until his mother scolded him for going too far.
“What's going on?” Carter asked as he got close. Brian stood away from the fence with his hands behind his back and looking like the professional he was.
“I have good news,” Brian replied. “We have a lead. We got a hit on the fabric left on the porch bomb. The police are planning an arrest. We finally had enough information to put all the pieces together. This was the most frustrating puzzle I've ever worked on in my damn life.”
“An arrest?” Carter asked. “They're that close?”
Brian nodded. “All signs point to a family member of the airbag death lawsuit. A father of one of the girls that died. We'd been looking into them, but nothing connected them until now. We know who it is now. His name is Fred Hillstone.”
Carter stayed silent but nodded. He immediately recognized the name from the lists. His daughter was Beth and was nineteen when she died. He knew every name on the list of people that had died. He'd memorized them all. He could only imagine the amount of anger her father held toward him. He could understand it, but that didn't justify the death threats.
It made sense that it was someone from the airbag lawsuit. There were hundreds of people affected, many with deaths. The level of planning to get to him out here required true hate. Death could cause that. He had thought the fiasco with the airbags was behind him, but apparently, it wasn't. The settlement had been more than fair, but there wasn't a real way to put a price on a human life.
“The police are searching, but they haven't found him yet,” Brian continued. “They believe he's fled to Wyoming, judging from his credit card purchases.”
“It's almost over then, isn't it?” Carter asked, feeling his shoulders start to relax.
Brian nodded, and the smile came to his face. “Once he's in custody, you can go back to your regular life. You can go back to the city. You can go home to California.”
The words didn't excite Carter like he thought they would. California suddenly seemed very far away from here. From Mia. From the kids. He would miss them all terribly. He found himself not wanting to leave after all.
He hadn't expected to fall for them like he did. They were the highlight of his days, and the idea that he would leave them behind was actually rather sad. The thought of saying goodbye to Mia made his heart tremble. She meant too much. Their conversations late at night cuddled together meant too much for him to just leave.
He loved her. He loved those kids.
The realization hit him like a punch to the gut. It wasn't lust or friendship. It was love. He loved those kids like they were his own, and he loved Mia even more. She completed him in a way that he never expected to find.
As much as he wanted to go back to his old life, his heart wanted to stay here too. He wanted both lives. Was it possible that he could have his life here and in California?
“Thank you for telling me, Brian,” Carter said, putting a smile on his face. This was supposed to be good news. “Let me know when he's been apprehended.”
Brian nodded and turned to continue patrolling the ranch. Carter watched him for a moment before turning around and going back to Star Dreamer and his mother. The colt whinnied and danced like it had been weeks instead of minutes since Carter left him. He was going to have to leave Star Dreamer too, he realized.
The little horse tucked his head under Carter's hand, positioning his head so that Carter would scratch the spot behind his ears that always seemed to be itchy. Carter chuckled and began scratching as the colt sighed with pleasure.
Carter stood in the meadow with his horses and stared at the horizon. He was trying to come up with a way that he could still be here and at his plant in California. Or maybe Mia could move? But the kids were in the system here. They couldn't go to California, and there was no way that Mia would leave them.
He sighed and shifted his feet. There had to be a way that he could have his old life with the people that he loved in his current one.
There had to be.
Chapter 31
Mia
“Are you okay, Mia?” Grayson asked, tugging gently on Mia's hand as they walked to the barn for their Wednesday work session.
“Hmm? Oh, I'm fine,” she replied, giving herself a shake and smiling down at him. Her thoughts had been on the baby growing in her stomach.
“Carter says that you can't let your thoughts wander when you're working with the horses,” Grayson informed her. “You need to use your full brain.”
Mia chuckled. “It's a good thing I'm not working with the horses today then, huh?”
On impulse, she knelt down and pulled the little boy into a hug. Grayson happily hugged her back. She took a deep breath in, pulling in his strawberry scented shampoo mixed with the sunshine in his hair. It smelled like innocence to her. He would never be this little again. Tears welled up in her eyes.
“You sure you're okay?” Grayson asked, pulling back. He frowned a little, and she realized she'd hugged him for a long time.
“I am,” she promised. “Go catch up with your brother and sister. I need to go talk to Carter.”
“Okay,” he agreed before sprinting off down the path and into the barn.
Mia blinked back the sudden surprise tears and tried to gather herself. The hormones had her crying at everything it seemed like. It made what she was going to do today even harder. She knew she needed to tell Carter about the baby.
“I don't want kids.” Carter's voice whispered through her mind. The conversation rippled through her head, telling her that this was a bad idea. He didn't want to be a father. He wouldn't want this life growing inside of her.
Tears threatened to fill her again. She wanted this life. And she knew she needed to tell him. It was the right thing to do.
Why tell him now? A voice in her mind whispered. What if you miscarry? Why not wait until things are more certain?
She sighed. She'd had this conversation with herself for the past twenty-four hours nonstop. She wasn't sure what was the right time to tell him was, but she knew that the sooner she did, the less she'd stress over it. Honesty was the best policy. That's what she told her kids, so she needed to be a good role model and do it herself.
Even if she was scared shitless. She needed to tell him.
Before she could back out or change her mind, she pulled out her phone to text him. But, just as she opened the message app, her phone buzzed with a message from him.
Come to the garage. I have a surprise for you.
The similarity to what she was about to write made her chuckle. She was the one with a real surprise. She wondered what he wanted to show her since she was fairly certain he wasn't about to tell her he was pregnant.
She glanced to the barn to make sure all three kids were safe and with Laura. Grayson was giggling, and the other two wore big smiles that told her they were happy. They loved it here, and she hoped that they could continue to come even after the baby came.
Her lip was between her teeth as she thought about it. She wasn't sure what was going to happen in a little less than eight months. To be honest, she didn't want to think about it. She was going t
o have to take time off work, but these kids were her work. She wasn't sure how she was going to make sure they stayed together when she wasn't their social worker because she was on maternity leave.
She shook her head. That was a problem for another day. Today's problem was telling Carter. She could worry about the rest tomorrow.
The walk was somehow fast yet seemed to take forever. She knew it was just nerves. She was fairly sure that Carter would react well, but the possibility of him reacting negatively was what she was afraid of. What if he didn't think the child was his? What if he asked her to get rid of it? What if he never wanted to see her again? The what-ifs were the worst part.
She swallowed hard before knocking on the door and stepping inside. The garage was nice and warm, giving the place a cozy feel after the coolness outside. Carter stood from his desk, grinning from ear to ear as she came in.
“You said you have a surprise?” she asked. After he showed her his, she would tell him hers. Hopefully, he'd be in a good mood, and everything would go well.
He grinned and motioned to the side of the garage. There was a car covered by a white sheet that was new. She frowned slightly at it as he went over and pulled it off.
The vehicle underneath the sheet was a small SUV with shiny black paint. It took her a moment, but then she recognized it from the model and the designs he had shown her of the car he was designing.
“Is this what I think it is?” she asked, stepping forward to touch it. It was beautiful and sleek. She could barely believe it was real.
“What do you think?” Carter asked. He crossed his arms and then uncrossed them as he waited nervously for her opinion on the car.
“It's amazing,” she whispered. “I didn't think it was ready yet.”
“It's not,” he admitted. “This is a prototype. I wanted to show it to you.”
She looked over at him with wide eyes. “I get to see it?”