The F#ck It List: The Complete Story

by Rae Lynn Blaise

  He leans down and plunges his tongue back into my mouth, kissing me until I'm dizzy, never losing his stride as he keeps fucking me. His lips travel to nip my ear and down my neck, teasing me until I'm covered in goosebumps and my nipples are pebbled so hard they could slice into his chest. He releases one of his hands from his hold on my hips and starts playing with my tits again. He can't seem to keep his hands off them. And I welcome each tweak and pinch and pluck.

  But I want more.

  I want him deeper.

  Keeping him buried between my legs, I roll us so that I'm on top. I lean down to kiss him and then I fuck him. He pulls my torso down so my tits hang in his face, then he takes turns sucking each of my nipples. I groan and grind down on him faster. The position makes it so that my clit rubs against him, adding to my pleasure. My knees dig into the rocky soil beneath the blanket, but I don't care. I bury my face in his neck and nibble at his skin.

  He grabs my waist and holds me down on him. I lift up a little and raise my brows in question.

  "Spin around. Do the reverse cowgirl."

  It takes me a second to remember what the hell that is. And then, I grin. I pull away from him and spin around so my knees straddle his waist. He holds his cock up and I ease down onto it. I've never done this position before. Yay for new positions. He brings his hands up to cup my breasts, pinching my nipples and kneading my tits while I bounce up and down over his cock. He reaches a bit deeper inside me and my clit still rubs against him. All the important bits of me are getting just the right kind of attention and pressure. It feels fucking amazing and I want it to last. I want to do this all night.

  I have turned into such a slut. I want sex all the fucking time.

  The humid night air coats my skin, the slight breeze brushing against the sweat glistening on me, releasing more of my honeysuckle scent. From this position I can watch the movie through the trees. There's some sort of scene in a strip club going on. My breasts bounce along with the strippers' tits.

  It reminds me of that porno I'd watched over at Scott's house. Which ended up being basically our foreplay.

  Suddenly money is everywhere and strippers are fighting for the floating bills on screen. One of the strippers punches some creepy dude right out.

  What the hell is this movie?

  I stop watching the movie and start staring up at the stars as warmth floods my system. Everything else falls away except the twinkling lights dotting the sky and the grunts and gasps coming out of Derek and me.

  I toss my head back and my mouth falls open in an O as my pussy tightens around his cock. I'm surprised I don't literally howl at the fucking moon. I buck and shudder as the climax rips through me with a violence that stuns me, the forest and shadows swirling about making me dizzy. Once I stop spinning, I slump over, my body trembling with aftershocks.

  Derek eases me off of him until I'm on my hands and knees and he glides back into me. He yanks me back by my hips as he fucks me, every time he pushes in, and the orgasm still shaking through me makes it almost painful. But still hot as fuck. I do fucking love this position.

  I watch explosions or gunfights or something of the sort on the screen while he rams into me. My tits swing back and forth from the force of his thrusts. My hands fist at the blanket beneath us, bunching the fabric in my hands. I raise my ass higher and he goes in even deeper.

  One of his hands snakes around and he rubs at my clit with those damn clever fingers.

  Lava simmers low in my belly and my body tenses up as it boils over and pours through me. I cry out, unable to keep quiet. Thankfully, the movie booms with a huge explosion or something, swallowing up my noise of pleasure.

  Derek keeps fucking me, moving faster now that he's wrung out another climax from me, racing towards his own. His cock swells inside me, stretching me more and with a final shove, he buries himself to the hilt and jerks against me, his breaths coming in gasps.

  He slips from me and while he disposes of the condom somewhere, somehow, I get my dress back in place, using a corner of the blanket to clean off a little. I leave my shoes at where they rest on the ground beside the edge of the blanket. Derek buttons and zips his pants, then slips his shirt back on.

  I point and giggle at the tag under his chin. "It's inside out and backwards."

  He chuckles and gets himself sorted.

  We collapse on the middle of the blanket next to each other and laugh.

  "Well, that was fun as hell." His voice is raspy with spent pleasure

  I nod with enthusiasm. "Yes, it was." So is mine.

  "What's going on with you?" he asks, looking over at me like I'm a riddle he can't solve. "I mean, I'm not complaining. You just surprised me."

  I consider telling him about the list, but it doesn't feel right, sharing that with him. That's my secret I have with only Scott. And I want to and should keep it that way.

  "After Adam and I broke up, I realized, I hadn't had any crazy college fun because I was in a serious relationship for so long. Hell, he's the only guy I'd ever been with. I decided I wanted to have some fun before I graduated. I wanted to start living. It's nice not being tied down to someone or even a regular job."

  Derek stares up at the night sky. "I get that."

  I prop up on my elbow. "What about you? Why are you back here?"

  He closes his eyes and keeps them shut for a moment before he answers. "My dad's sick. I couldn't go on and use my degree with him like this. So I moved back home to help out. Around here, the best I can do is Home Depot. And I'm about to get a promotion to manager, so the money isn't terrible."

  My chest tightens and tears prick my eyes. How fucking awful. "I'm sorry, Derek I had no idea."

  He puffs out a loud sigh. "Yeah well, everyone thinks the idiot jock came back home after failing in his football career. But Dad doesn't want people to know yet, so I let them."

  "That sucks."

  He shrugs. "Yeah. But tonight, I got to have one hell of a time with a gorgeous girl I've been panting after for years, so you helped take my mind off it all."

  I huff a small laugh. "I wish I had been with you in high school. I wish I'd known how you felt."

  "Adam that bad, huh?"

  I figure I can grant him a little honesty in exchange for the secret he shared with me. "I thought he was going to propose on our anniversary, but he ended things. And apparently cheated on me the whole time."

  Derek winces. "Oh, man that sucks. What a douchebag."

  "Yeah. Well, we've all got our problems, but I'm happier now, just regretful. What you're going through has got to be awful. I can't even imagine." The thought of one of my parents dying makes it hard to breathe.

  He shrugs again. "Yeah. But the doctors have a plan and seem hopeful. So, I'm trying to be hopeful too."

  "Well, you have my number now. Let me know anytime if I can help."

  He hugs me to his side. "I will."

  I curl up against him, sensing he needs the comfort of human touch, and we turn our attention to the remainder of the movie.

  We watch the bad guys get what they deserve and the good guys get the girl, and for a moment all is right with the world.

  We stay there, curled up in shadows and starlight while the other cars drive off, neither of us ready to end the night. Who knew the football captain had such depth?

  When the last pair of headlights fade away, Derek helps me to my feet and folds up the blanket. We return to his car in friendly silence, both of us a little bit more healed from our pain from this night. A little piece that Adam broke reattaches itself and I'm closer to being whole again. But tonight, it wasn't about the sex and fun. It was about the moment we had, where it felt like I might be able to open up my heart again one day.

  Not with Derek. As hot and sweet as he is, we're still not a good match, but someone. Someday. And that day doesn't seem quite so far away now.

  20

  I lie on my bed that weekend, watching Scott paint my room with the right color. He's almost done, a
nd has covered the ugly navy with minimal complaint.

  He doesn't have a shirt on, declaring he didn't want to ruin one of his favorite shirts, so he painted the room in those low slung jeans of his. His back ripples with muscles as he runs the roller over the walls.

  Scott has a sexy back, I decide. I've never paid much attention to backs before, but maybe I should start.

  He covers the last bit of navy, and drops the roller in the tray.

  "You wanna grab some food? My treat." I know it won't make up for or pay for him painting my room twice in one week, but I want to show him my appreciation in some way.

  As fun as it would be to paint each other's naked bodies with the leftover blue, I don't think it would be a good idea.

  He smiles at me over his shoulder. "Sure, love. Let me just clean up first." His eyes match the new wall color perfectly. Shit.

  Dizzy from the paint fumes, I nod and escape to the fresh air of my living room. I grab my purse and shove my feet in a pair of flip-flops. I'm dressed like I was actually going to help paint, but more for moral support than any desire to help. Scott's good at this sort of thing. I am…not so much.

  Scott comes in smelling like my soap, but his hands still have blue marks on them.

  "You look a little like you fingered a Smurf."

  He scowls at me. "Is that the thanks I get?"

  I flutter my lashes at him. "Oh, don't be grumpy. You know I'm just playing and I am very grateful. You are the best best friend a girl could ask for."

  His scowl melts away into a half annoyed smirk. 'That's right. And you better never forget it."

  "Never," I vow.

  He slings an arm over my shoulders as we head out to my car. It feels nice, being cuddled up into him. And we had fun while he slaved over my room. It was like everything was back to normal.

  We sing along to the radio as we drive the few blocks to our brunch place. The hostess greets us by name and takes us to that same private booth.

  "We've become regulars. They know us," I whisper.

  My words are proved even more true when the waiter comes over and asks, "Your usuals?"

  We nod, a little sheepishly, laughing when the waiter smiles and heads away to put in our orders.

  "If we end up close to each other once we graduate, we should keep up our brunch tradition. And if we end up far, we need to at least meet for brunch once a month." I'm starting to grow maudlin, thinking about the next chapter racing towards us on swift feet.

  Scott snorts. "Oh, we'll end up close together. We've gone through our whole lives together. No reason to stop now."

  His words warm me. I want nothing more than to have my best friend beside me as I embark on the next stage of life. "I'm glad."

  "You think you could get rid of me so easily?" He nudges me with his shoulder.

  I consider bringing up the weirdness between us, but I don't want to mess up a good thing. "Of course not. But I don't want you to sacrifice your future for me."

  "Who says it would be for you? I don't want to start our boring adult lives without you."

  I smile up at him. "Me either."

  Scott drops a kiss on the top of my head when I look down at the table that suddenly has food all over it. That was fast. Did they know we were coming and already have it started? Are we that predictable?

  We start in on the food, making goofy plans for the future.

  Suddenly, Scott turns the conversation to my night with Derek. "So, was the football god any good?"

  I frown, confused and surprised. I'd already told him most of what happened. I hadn't gone into quite as gory detail as before. The fact that we both know Derek made it a little weird. And I hadn't told Scott about Derek's dad. It wasn't my secret to tell even though I knew Scott would never tell anyone.

  I swallow my mouthful of food and clear my throat. "Uh,,,yeah. He was pretty good. Definitely better than Adam."

  Scott scoffs. "Based on what you told me, a dead person would be better than Adam."

  I laugh. "Fair enough."

  "Did he make you come?" Scott asks.

  Red sweeps across my cheeks. "Um, yeah."

  "How many times?"

  "I guess, uh...four?" How many had Scott given me? Or the Professor or stranger? I've lost count.

  Scott hasn't. "That's all? Everyone else gave you way more."

  I have a strange need to defend Derek. No, he hadn't been quite as skilled as the others on my list or Scott, but he wasn't shitty in the sack. "Well, we were sort of in public, not in a bed or private office."

  "Not that public. It was nighttime, you were in a car with tinted windows and then the woods. It's not like what we did here."

  My cheeks heat up with flags of red. "No, but it still wasn't private. Dude, why are you asking me all this? I already told you what happened."

  Scott savagely stabs a sausage link with his fork. "Not as much as you have before. I was wondering if there was a reason."

  I shake my head, reaching for my mimosa. "No, I just thought it was weird. I mean, you know Derek. It just makes it kind of awkward."

  "It's not like he and I were friends or hung out. It was just weird. You went into extreme detail with the others, but with him you just gave me the basics. He finger fucked you, you exchanged oral, and then you went out to the woods and fucked."

  His voice was a little too loud. "Shhhh. Fuck, Scott. What the hell?"

  "Sorry. I just thought maybe you were hoping for something more with him. I don't want you to get hurt again."

  I'm not sure I believe him. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he is jealous. "He and I both made it clear we have no interest in a relationship right now. It was just a fun night. We both got to fulfill some teenaged fantasies."

  Scott rolls his eyes. "Of course he had a thing for you, Amanda. Everyone did. Hell, everyone still does."

  "What are you talking about?" I scowl at him as my food turns to stone in my stomach. How do we keep ending up back here?

  He points at me with his fork. "Do you have any idea how beautiful and sexy you are? I've watched tons of guys fall over themselves for you. I've also had tons of guys try to buddy up with me, thinking it'll help them get to you."

  I can't believe my eyes don't actually fall from my head and land in my napkin covered lap. "I had no idea."

  Scott shrugs. "You were in love with Adam. You didn't notice anyone other than Derek."

  "Derek was just a schoolgirl crush. Everybody crushes on the football captain. It's almost required." Is that what this is about? Every guy wants to know how they compare to the guy the girls all swoon over.

  Right?

  "I know. I just thought maybe the experience lived up to the fantasy. This one was as dangerous as the stranger. Just for your heart this time. I can't watch you go through that again." He stares down at his plate, scowling at it like it has personally offended him in some way.

  I put my hand over his clenched fist. "You're not going to. After everything was over, I realized this whole thing? It may seem stupid, but it's been putting me back together after everything with Adam happened. It's not like I'm heartbroken and want him back. I'm more pissed at my own judgment. And I have no plans to get back into a relationship, especially with someone as wrong for me as Derek. But I started to feel like it was actually possible again. Not because of him or a relationship with him, but it's given me hope again. I'm starting to feel like myself again."

  "Why didn't you tell me you were feeling that way?" He releases his hold on his fork and turns his palm up to intertwine our fingers.

  "Because I didn't completely realize I was. I've been full throttle on this list without really understanding why. And granted any other sort of list would probably work just as well, but I'm having fun with this one. I want a life with no regrets."

  "And you're sure this won't end up in regret?" he asks.

  I shoot him a small smile. "Well, no, but I know it would if I quit out of fear or worry."

  "I get it, love. I
'll try to stop being such a worrywart." He sighs.

  I tighten my hold on his fingers. "I'm glad you're looking out for me. You always have."

  "I always will." His eyes are more serious than I've ever seen.

  "I know."

  Yeah, he was just worried about me and probably needed a slight ego stroke. I decide to give it to him.

  I lean over and whisper, "He's the smallest out of everyone I've been with other than Adam. And so far, you've been the biggest, overall."

  He grins down at me and I roll my eyes. Men.

  Part V

  #5: The Local Celebrity

  21

  After throwing yet another outfit back into my closet, I try on the black dress, but shake my head and groan as I check myself out in the mirror. I look great in it, but it’s just not quite right for where I’m going tonight. And it’s not like I make enough at the coffee shop to afford going out and buying a new dress just for the night. I already spent enough cash redecorating my room so I could have my dalliance with Derek. Though I do love the bright pop of blue on my walls. It really made the room come together. I just need some new sheer, flowy, gray curtains for my windows.

  I peel off the black dress, standing and staring at the pile of clothes on my bed clad in only my bra and underwear. Ugh, forget it. I’ll call Scott and get his outfit figured out before I worry about mine. I need to let him know about tonight anyway. He better be available.

  My trembling fingers dial Scott’s number, and I listen through four full rings with impatience. What’s he doing?

  His deep voice fills my ears. “Hello?”

  About time. “Hey, it’s me. I need you tonight.” My voice is high-pitched with excitement and nerves.