Nothing is Forever

by Grace Thompson

  Ruth had willingly given up the prospect of a career in hotel management to stay at home and keep the family together. Not a duty, but a joy. After all, it was her duty. It was the family home and had been for three generations. She gave a sigh, and tried to put thoughts of the empty house aside. There was a lot of noise coming from the living-room, conversations shouting above the music that was now playing. Ty Gwyn was filled with family and friends, mostly friends, people who had treated this place as a second home. To go from this to silence; how would she cope with that?

  The bride and groom came through the door to the kitchen where she was putting the final touches to the plates of food still being collected and taken into the living-room, and she smiled.

  That smile had been fixed to her face all day and her jaw ached with the effort. She was trying not to think of tonight, when all the guests were gone and she faced staying in the huge house on her own for the first time ever. Night time was a long way off and there was so much to do she told herself, that she would sleep as soon as she crawled in between the sheets.

  Aunty Blodwen heaved herself out of the couch where she had been dozing and gave her a hug. ‘Can I ask a big, huge favour, darlin’ girl?’ she asked, her large brown eyes looking sorrowful.

  ‘Of course. Anything, Aunty Blod.’

  ‘Can I stay a few days next week? The workmen are coming to do some repairs and some decorating. Terrible hard it’ll be to stay there with them all buzzing about like flies.’

  Trying not to show her relief, Ruth agreed. For those few days the house wouldn’t be completely empty. Looking forward to that would help in the days until then. But even so, the absence of her twin brothers and their wives would make her feel abandoned.

  Guessing her thoughts, Blodwen said, ‘Don’t worry, Ruth love. They’ll be in and out so much you won’t realize they’ve gone.’

  ‘It went well considering I had so little time to arrange it, didn’t it?’ Ruth said. ‘It’s a pity they couldn’t have waited till food rationing had ended, mind. We could have had a big-huge spread then. It can’t be more than a few more months. Imagine that, Aunty Blod, going into a shop and asking for a whole pound of butter after managing on two ounces a week for so long.’

  Aunty Blodwen looked thoughtful. ‘1954, almost nine years after the end of the war and we’re still rationed. I’m dreaming of buying a big-huge steak and eating the lot. But I doubt if I will, our stomachs must have shrunk after all these years.’

  ‘I suppose they couldn’t have waited,’ Ruth mused. ‘Tommy and Bryn are never happy apart, and a delay before the wedding might have lost them that flat. I wish they could have given me a bit more notice though.’

  ‘Sudden it was, and no mistake, and you were amazing, Ruth, darlin’, producing this spread. Strange it was such a rush job, mind,’ she added thoughtfully.

  ‘It was the flat. Once Tommy saw that place, right next to the one taken by Bryn and Brenda, there was nothing else to consider. You know what they’re like for being together, living together, working together and never a cross word.’

  ‘Just the flat? Yes,’ Blodwen said thoughtfully. ‘That’s why there was the rush, sure to be. But it had been empty for a while, mind. Perhaps there’s something we don’t know about.’

  ‘What d’you mean? We don’t have secrets.’

  Blodwen’s face wrinkled in a comical frown. ‘I think it’s what Churchill said about Russia, “A riddle, wrapped up in a mystery inside a – whatsit.’

  ‘An enigma.’ Ruth finished for her. ‘What do you mean, Aunty? Where’s the mystery? They hate being separated, always have done since they were born.’

  ‘Yes, it was just the flat, you’re probably right.’

  ‘All the brothers married now and I feel abandoned,’ Ruth sighed, stacking the returned plates ready for washing. She smiled at the word, hoping it sounded like a joke. She was hardly abandoned, but that was how it would feel. After all the years of having the large family bounding through its rooms and narrow corridors the silence would be almost threatening. She pushed away the over-dramatic words and concentrated on filling more plates that were still being taken into the living-room.

  Tommy stopped before picking up the plateful of sandwiches she had just prepared and gave her a hug.

  ‘Thanks, Sis. You’ve been wonderful and made this a very happy day.’

  ‘The first of many I hope,’ she replied, forcing the smile back on her face.

  She wasn’t the only one facing changes. Tommy and Bryn and their wives were starting a new kind of life as different for them as her own would be and she guessed they, too, were apprehensive, especially Tommy’s Toni and Bryn’s wife, Brenda. The changes were greater for women: living here with her running the home, coming in from work to a tidy house with a meal waiting, the laundry done; then suddenly having to face it all themselves.

  Men didn’t feel it as much as women. The men would come home from work and everything would be the same apart from their wives dealing things instead of their mother, or, she reminded herself, in this case, their sister. The newly wed wives hadn’t managed housekeeping budgets before, or had to plan meals on a small ration for two. Beds didn’t make themselves and washing had to be dried and ironed and put away. No, the changes for Toni and Brenda would be harder than those she faced. But that reminder didn’t make anticipation of the silent, empty house and the lonely days ahead any easier to bear. She shivered as she reminded herself of the few friends she had. Apart from Henry the people she knew were friends of Tommy and Bryn.

  It had been such a shock to learn that the arrangements were all made. Toni hadn’t said a word until everything was in place. She’d have expected to deal with it as she had with Geraint and Emrys and Bryn. It hadn’t given her time to become accustomed to the idea of them leaving. Tommy marrying and moving out at the same time as Bryn and Brenda was the biggest shock. She thought that Tommy, like the others would have stayed at home for a while until they could afford to move out.

  She kept telling herself that when they returned from honeymoon in Aberaeron, Tommy and Toni wouldn’t be coming back, they wouldn’t expect her to be waiting with their rooms ready and a meal prepared, but she still didn’t believe it, the thought was too distressing. At least Tommy and Bryn wouldn’t be separated, and she ought to be thankful for that. Besides, this being first time away from the family home and into their own places, she’d be needed, specially as all four were working.

  ‘Hi, Sis,’ Bryn said, as he helped himself to a piece of the fatless sponge cake she was about to take into the living-room. ‘Thanks for everything you’ve done. Toni and our Tommy are very grateful.’

  The word ‘grateful’ was hurtful. It was too formal, the sort of thing he’d say to a stranger who had done some kind deed. But she forced a smile. ‘It’s been a pleasure, Bryn, you know that. I’ve only done for Tommy and Toni what I did for the rest of you.’

  ‘You will be all right, won’t you?’ Brenda asked, walking in behind him. ‘I know you’ll find it strange, the four of us going, we’ve been such a noisy houseful.’

  ‘Of course. I’ll be fine.’

  Tommy came in then and sat at the large pine table where so many meals had been eaten, the family filling the place with chatter, and arguments and laughter – she particularly remembered the laughter.

  ‘Anyway,’ she went on, ‘Aunty Blodwen is staying for a few days next week, and until then I’ll be so busy clearing everything away after you lot, I won’t miss you at all. And you’ll be back at the end of the week. And Bryn and Brenda will be popping in until then.’

  The brothers glanced at each other. ‘No, they won’t,’ Tommy said. ‘They’re coming with us.’

  ‘On your honeymoon?’ She laughed then. ‘I can’t believe you are all going to Aberaeron together. It’s your honeymoon,’ she said with emphasis. ‘How were you persuaded to invite two more along?’

  ‘Easy; it’s a walking holiday and Bryn’s better at map-read
ing.’

  ‘I give up on you two,’ Ruth said, with her first genuine laugh for days.

  The party was getting louder with extra guests still arriving, some invited and others with the excuse of bringing a gift or a card. Music was played on the gramophone for dancing in the large living-room. Ruth left them and went upstairs to start sorting out the chaos caused by the preparations for the wedding. Tommy’s room was a mess. It had been used by Tommy and Toni to change out of their wedding clothes into casual attire ready to leave on their honeymoon. Besides clothes strewn across the bed and in heaps on the floor, there were torn and crumpled pieces of wrapping paper and string, cards opened and abandoned. Spilled make-up made crazy patterns on the window sill. She sighed with a mixture of despair and almost humorous acceptance. Her family certainly kept her busy: at least, it had until today, when everything would suddenly and frighteningly change.

  Her other two brothers, Geraint and Emrys had stayed the previous night with their wives Hazel and Susan. In Emrys’s and Susan’s room, again clothes were thrown carelessly over the bed and an assortment of make-up was spread over the dressing-table. Shoe boxes and handbags were piled on the bed as though Susan couldn’t decide which to use until the last moment.

  Geraint’s and Hazel’s room was neat and the bed was stripped, the sheets piled ready for washing. Apart from the used bedding, nothing was out of place; it was as though the room hadn’t been used. Ruth found this sadder than the chaos of the other rooms. Geraint’s wife was so organized it made her feel utterly redundant when she was around. While she knew that was how it should be, and knew she was being stupid, it still hurt. She loved being the organized one; loved being needed.

  Toni’s parents, and Geraint and Hazel and a few friends left at seven o’clock, having to drive back to London. Others, mainly people Ruth didn’t know, stayed on. The intention was for the party to go on until ten o’clock and then the happy couple would go to an hotel for the night ready to leave for their honeymoon the following morning. Unbelievably, Bryn and Brenda were staying at the hotel too. But with Bryn and Tommy, plans had a habit of changing.

  At one o’clock, when the party had become more subdued but showed little sign of ending, dancing had ceased and party games were in progress. An hour later, Tommy and Toni had locked themselves in Tommy’s bedroom and Bryn and Brenda were sleeping in what was still their bedroom. Two friends she hadn’t met before slept on the settee in the living-room and another in an armchair. Two local young farmers for whom the twins regularly worked, had announced it wasn’t worth going home to bed, having to rise so early, were wrapped in blankets on the floor.

  Someone else she didn’t know came and told her that Aunty Blod was a bit merry. She had sung a few songs, attempted a dance and was now fast asleep. ‘Merry’, the euphemism for drunk, didn’t alarm her. It was a wedding after all and Aunty Blod knew how to celebrate. Gently she lifted her behind the open door of the hall cupboard into which she had gradually slid, half hidden by coats.

  ‘Come on, wake up, Aunty, we’ll get you onto the couch till we can find a taxi.’

  ‘Don’t tell me I haven’t got a bed?’ Aunty Blodwen wailed. ‘You can’t turn me out in the middle of the night. March it is and freezing out there. I’ll catch my death, girl!’

  Ruth smiled and with a young man, whom she didn’t know, helping her, she guided her aunt up the stairs and into her own bedroom. ‘You’d best sleep here tonight. I’ll sort out a bed for myself when that lot downstairs finally leave.’ She pointed down behind her with a thumb.

  The young man looked doubtful. ‘Leaving? Settled for the night most of them,’ he said.

  Aunty Blod undressed with Ruth’s help and was soon producing gentle snores. Ruth sighed and wondered how many more hours it would be until she could do the same.

  In fact she didn’t go to bed at all. Too tired to find a blanket and find an unoccupied place to sleep, she sat in the kitchen on the old couch they had been meaning to throw away for months, and dozed, in between people coming in and out for drinks and a bite to eat until three o’clock, when it finally went quiet. She stayed there until seven o’clock in the morning.

  Her first thought on waking and remembering the reason for her unusual position was guilt for not making sure Henry had been told about the wedding. She must try and reach him today. He deserves an explanation even though it wouldn’t sound very convincing.

  The morning was more chaotic than the day before. Tommy and Toni, Bryn and Brenda were difficult to rouse.

  ‘Give us another hour, Ruth, it isn’t a long journey’ Tommy muttered, when she banged on the bedroom door at eight o’clock.

  ‘No panic, Sis,’ Bryn said sleepily when she tried to call him. ‘It isn’t all that far.’

  ‘Emrys and Susan are up and on their way back to Bridgend,’ she called to them.

  ‘Good on ’em,’ both brothers muttered in unison.

  The friends sleeping in the living-room asked very politely if they could have a cup of tea and maybe some toast. A sleepy figure uncurled from behind the couch, someone she hadn’t noticed before, and asked sleepily if he could please have the same, before falling back out of sight. Glad to be busy, Ruth obliged but warned them it would be toast with Marmite or jam without butter or margarine. The ration wasn’t large enough to share and she’d borrowed on next week’s to provide food for the wedding.

  ‘Come on, get a move on,’ Ruth called to the four an hour later.

  ‘No rush, Sis.’

  ‘Not for you maybe, but I have work to do. There’s all this mess to sort out after I’ve fed you,’ Ruth protested mildly.

  ‘Manage fine you will. A marvel you are, our Ruth.’

  There was a knock at the back door and she ran down to open it. ‘Henry! I’m so glad to see you. Sorry you couldn’t make it in time for Tommy’s wedding; it was all such a rush. They didn’t give me any time to plan it properly – you know what those two are like.’ He didn’t respond at once and she stood, wondering how to make her explanation sound genuine. ‘I rang one of the hotels where you usually stay, but I’m so sorry, I didn’t think to ask your mother to pass on the message. I’m so sorry, but it was such a rush,’ she repeated lamely.

  ‘Can I come in?’ He smiled and she thought it seemed as artificial as hers had been all through the day before. ‘I’ve just driven through the night from Porthmadog. Sorry I didn’t make the wedding. I only heard yesterday, from my assistant. Why didn’t you write to one of the places I was staying, I’d given you the addresses and dates?’

  ‘No time for writing and anyway, I lost the list you gave me, in all the muddle of getting things done.’

  ‘I see.’ He stared at her and she knew he had been hurt by her negligence. ‘And about forgetting lunch with my mother?’

  ‘I’m so sorry, I’ll write to her and explain.’

  ‘I did try to get here, I would have liked to have been there to see Tommy and Toni married, join the celebration. I would have cancelled my appointments if I’d been told. It went well, did it?’

  ‘Meagre food, but everything else was fine.’

  ‘I’d have come, you know that, Ruth. Why didn’t you tell me?’

  She was saved a reply.

  ‘I’m sinking for a cuppa. Any chance of some breakfast, our Ruth?’ Tommy called, as he walked down the stairs. ‘Oh, hello, Henry. Where were you? You missed a good party.’

  Henry looked at Ruth and shrugged.

  ‘I’m waiting for Toni, Bryn and Brenda to get up,’ she said. ‘If you can wait, you can eat with us.’

  ‘I thought Tommy and Toni had booked an hotel. Nothing went wrong, did it?’

  ‘Only too much alcohol and not enough sense! They all stayed here last night. And they’re all going to Aberaeron together!’

  Henry gave his loud, infectious laugh. ‘Sharing a honeymoon with your brother, Tommy? And no special first night at the hotel? There’s something wrong with you, man.’ Tommy nodded in happy agree
ment and went back upstairs. Henry moved towards Ruth, put his arms around her and kissed her lightly. ‘We’ll arrange things differently when you marry me. If only you’d stop pushing me away and say yes.’

  ‘I can’t think about it yet.’

  ‘First the boys were too young; then they couldn’t be expected to give up their home, and you couldn’t expect them to share it with me, then you had to wait until they were all married and away from home. What is it now, Ruth?’

  ‘Give me time to get over all this, please, Henry. My head’s all over the place. I’ve been so busy organizing Tommy’s wedding, and now have to find my way of coping without them all.’

  Henry looked at her a half smile on his face. ‘Then, the cat’s only twelve, she might live for a couple more years,’ he said, with gentle sarcasm. ‘Then there’ll be nieces and nephews. When are you going to find time for yourself? For us?’

  ‘Henry, I’m sorry but—’ She was again saved from replying by a bump from above them. ‘Sounds like someone has fallen out of bed, I hope it isn’t Aunty Blod!’ She hurried to the stairs and ran up calling to ask if anyone was hurt. Reassured, she turned back to Henry, but he was gone. He had driven off to one of his favourite places in which to sit and think.

  Henry owned three shops selling antiques. One was run by his mother, Rachel, one sold only ordinary second-hand items, mostly furniture and was run by part-time staff. The other, selling more expensive quality items was where he lived and he left it in the care of Tabitha Bishop when he was away buying stock. He had known Ruth since they were children and had always assumed they would marry, but with her insistence that she had to look after her brothers they were still without any firm plans. He wanted marriage and children and there was no one else for him but Ruth and he doubted whether there ever would be.