Nothing is Forever

by Grace Thompson

  ‘I’ve just called at the flat but you weren’t there and I’m, I don’t know, just walking off some of the excess food, I suppose.’

  ‘The van is round the corner; come and see Mum. She’ll be pleased to see you and to thank you for the musical box you gave her.’ She hesitated almost from habit and he said softly, ‘Unless you have some people to feed?’

  ‘No, there’s no one home except Geraint and he can jolly well feed himself!’ She said nothing more, took his offered arm and walked with him to where the van was parked. She wouldn’t talk about Geraint’s thoughtlessness! She wouldn’t! But she did.

  ‘You’ll never believe this, but Geraint has spent Christmas decorating!’

  ‘I know,’ Henry said, ‘but don’t let’s talk about it now, let’s just have a pleasant hour talking about other things.’

  She was immediately on the defensive, ashamed of her weakness in blurting it out moments after promising herself she would not.

  ‘It’s all right,’ she retorted in a tight voice. ‘I know how unimportant selling my home is to you.’

  He stopped the car and, when she expected an argument ending with her walking off, he pulled her towards him and kissed her. ‘Now we both know Christmas was a disaster so shall we forget it and think of a New Year and a new start instead?’

  She stared at him, then reached up and kissed him again.

  Rachel Owen had decorated the hall as well as the porch but had used very few decorations around her pleasant room but, Ruth admitted to herself, the effect was perfect. ‘Mrs Owen, this is lovely,’ she said and meant it.

  ‘I’m sure yours were even better,’ Mrs Owen said with a smile, offering a glass of sherry.

  She wouldn’t tell Henry’s mother that she had throw away everything, an end to family celebrations. She wouldn’t. She wouldn’t!

  ‘Henry tells me you have some decorations that come out every year, a sort of tradition. That sounds nice, dear.’

  She wouldn’t tell her, she wouldn’t. ‘Oh, I’ve thrown them all away,’ she said casually. ‘No one wants them any more.’ She turned away. Brave words but not such a brave face. She felt Henry’s hand on her shoulder, squeezing, comforting, and fought back tears. She shouldn’t have come, this was a mistake. She was better off on her own, wallowing in her misery.

  To her surprise Rachel went into the hall and came back carrying Ruth’s coat as well as her own. ‘Come on, dear, Henry wants to take us for a walk.’

  They went in the van, Ruth curled up in cushions in the back with an apologetic Rachel in the passenger seat. Henry drove them through some pretty villages and then on to Penarth, a charming town with it’s Victorian pier, interesting shops and ice-cream parlours. They had tea at a café then stood and watched the sea, where gulls and wading birds waited patiently for the tide to recede and offer a few hours’ feeding time. Afterwards Ruth and Henry took turns to look through binoculars and commenting on the species present. ‘Have you got your notebook, Henry?’ she asked. ‘We could make a list as we’re here.’

  This was the time to tell her about his plan for the future but he didn’t know where to begin. Rachel walked to the railings and threw bread for the gulls to catch, laughing at the noisy protests from those to were unlucky

  While they were alone, Henry said. ‘It’s time for us both to make plans, and I want you to listen to what I have in mind.’

  ‘I’m so confused, Henry. I’d never have believed that my brothers would turn on me like this after all I’ve done for them.’

  ‘Change the wording. Tell it without the melodrama.’ He smiled to take the sting out of the words. ‘They haven’t “turned on you”, they are grown men, no longer needing your care and they want to make their own way. You did a remarkable job, bringing them up and you not much more than a child yourself. They know it and understand how hard this is, but it has to happen, for your sake as well as theirs. You can’t see it now, but you will. Soon.’

  ‘You look serious,’ Rachel smiled as she returned.

  ‘We can’t decide whether or not we have room for an ice-cream sundae,’ Ruth said with mock seriousness. They walked back to the largest ice-cream parlour and studied the list of choices.

  When he drove her back to Ty Gwyn, Henry told her about his friendship with Lillian. She immediately thought the worst. He was about to tell her goodbye.

  Oh, it’s nice to meet new people,’ she said calmly.

  ‘She’s very easy to talk to. And you have to admit that you and I don’t find that easy at present.’

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she murmured, still waiting for the words that would shatter her life into pieces.

  ‘I have an idea of how I want to spend the rest of my life, and until you calm down and are prepared to listen, I have to depend on outsiders, strangers, to hear what I have planned.’

  ‘That sounds as though your mind is made up, so what’s there to discuss?’

  ‘Your part in it.’

  ‘Not now, Henry. Let’s just go home. My life is in such chaos and I can’t take on any more. It’s like I’m standing on a cake walk at a fair ground,’ she told him. ‘Our house for sale, and Geraint’s surly presence changing the house into a place I don’t know. Tommy and Bryn house hunting and their wives treating me as a nuisance to be tolerated for a while now and then. And me, not knowing which way to go.’

  ‘It’s time you started looking for a place to live.’

  Geraint was still decorating and, when they had no work, Tommy and Bryn helped too. Ruth hadn’t thought of what work she would like to do or where she would live and, unable to make plans, she began helping Henry in the shop. Business was quiet and she spent time familiarizing herself with the stock and his book-keeping.

  An offer of possible accommodation offered itself one day. Mali and Megan, with Mickie trotting behind them, walked up the path and knocked on her door.

  ‘Is it true you’re leaving this house?’ Mali asked, grabbing a poker and putting it out of Mickie’s reach. ‘Rumours say your brothers want to sell and you need somewhere to live.’

  ‘Unless you’re going to marry Henry Owen at last,’ Megan added, quirking an eyebrow.

  ‘Yes, and no,’ Ruth said with a smile. ‘Yes we’re selling and no, Henry and I haven’t any plans to marry.’

  ‘We have to get out of the place we’re living now. As you see—’ she shouted as she and her sister ran to where Mickie was climbing up onto the dresser, ‘he’s a bit of a handful.’

  ‘How can I help? I don’t know how long before the house is sold but I doubt it’ll be very long.’

  ‘We think we can help you!’

  Mali took up the tale. ‘There’s a nice little bungalow down in the old village and it’s for rent. If you don’t mind sharing a home with this scallywag, then what do you think of us renting it between us, all paying a third of the rent and basic expenses? It won’t be very much. What d’you think?’

  ‘It sounds a good idea, although I have to get a job before I commit to paying anything.’

  ‘You have to live somewhere. What’s the alternative?’

  ‘Sleeping on Aunty Blod’s couch!’ Ruth said with a chuckle.

  They untangled Mickie from under the table, where he had made himself a nest with the cushions, and went to see the place. ‘It’s a bit run down but there’s nothing that a paint-brush won’t sort out,’ Megan said encouragingly.

  ‘I don’t think it will suit me,’ she told them after they had looked around the building and the garden. ‘Besides, I don’t know how long the house will take to sell. But what about Tabs? She could afford it and I’m sure she’d be happy sharing a home with Mickie. But there are problems which you must discuss with her,’ she said, thinking of Tabs’s pregnancy.

  ‘What problems?’ they demanded. So she told them about Tabs’s pregnancy and at once they offered support and began to get excited at the prospect of Tabs and another child in the house. Ruth left them discussing who would have which room and p
romising to get a room painted for Tabs to move in within the week, if she agreed to sharing with them. Ruth left them, happy that she had done the best for Tabs.

  Tabs was approached and, after nervous hesitation, unable to believe that they really wanted her to share, she accepted. The decision made, they approached the agent and began making arrangements. Lots of lists were written regarding what furnishings they would need and Ruth knew that practically all they wanted could be provided by her.

  After making the required checks and getting references from several people, they signed the necessary forms and were handed the keys. Golden Grove was theirs.

  Two weeks later they all moved in.

  ‘What about you?’ Henry asked, after congratulating her on getting Tabs free from her father and stepmother. ‘Have you thought about a job, or will you listen to what I have in mind?’

  ‘I haven’t thought about a job yet, I’ve been too busy getting the house cleared. The shed is full of clutter that I can’t find a home for and a few items of furniture are ready for the second-hand dealer. Everything else has gone. All the contact with my parents will go when the house is sold; I’m parting with everything I’ve known all my life.’ Henry made no comment and she added, ‘I know I have to find work soon though. I realize that.’

  Once more she’s ignoring any plans of mine, Henry thought with a sigh.

  Tabs had waited in the park at lunchtime day after day but there was no sign of Jack. It was early in February and she was worried. Her pregnancy was beginning to show and even the loose clothing she now wore wouldn’t keep the gossips at bay for much longer.

  She stared around her at people scurrying past hugging themselves against the cold. Once or twice she thought she recognized Jack and her heart leapt, but moments later she realized her mistake and she shrank back into her clothes and gave a sigh of disappointment. Her feet were stiff with cold and she wished she had worn boots. To warm herself she walked to the edge of the park and looked around, then she saw him. This time there was no mistake.

  She ran, awkwardly at first as her ankles were stiff from standing so long in the cold, then faster as she saw him disappear around the corner She called and she saw him increase speed. He must have seen her, but why didn’t he wait?

  Jack had seen her at the edge of his vision and, instead of passing Henry’s shop he turned away from the road and walked swiftly around a corner, then into the lane at the back of the row of shops. Fortunately a gate which led into a garage was open and he darted through and pushed it, almost closed, behind him. He saw Tabs come to the end of the lane, hesitate, then walk back the way she had come. He waited a moment then slipped out and ran to the end of the lane and back to where Abigail and Gloria now lived.

  Tabs was walking in the same direction, her footsteps dragging. What could she do? The baby was a fact that wouldn’t be denied and she had to make plans. She would have to tell her father. She doubted whether that would solve anything. He wouldn’t be sympathetic, in fact he was more likely to tell her to stay away. He’d be embarrassed once the neighbours became aware of her situation. On second thoughts she had better not tell him until she had some plan in place. But what plan? Who could she turn to and expect help? Only Ruth – and she didn’t really deserve any help from someone she had cheated and deceived.

  ‘Hi there,’ a voice called and she turned to see Abigail waving to her from across the road. She smiled and was about to turn away, but Abigail ran after her. ‘Got time for a cup of tea? I’ve got such exciting news to tell you.’

  Abigail was the very last person Tabs wanted to see, believing that she was the woman Jack truly loved, but she waited until the young woman caught up with her. ‘I’m sorry, but I have to get back,’ she excused, moving away.

  ‘You look frozen! Come on, just a cup of tea, or hot chocolate, how does that sound?’

  Reluctantly Tabs followed her to a small café, its steamed-up windows promising warmth to soothe her chilled and aching body. Nothing was said until they were served with their hot drinks and a plate of Welsh cakes, but Tabs guessed from the shining eyes of her companion that the news would not be what she needed to hear.

  ‘Jack has a job! It’s in a green-grocer’s, a job he’s done before, deliveries and counter hand. He’s always refused to stay until he earned enough to keep us and now he does,’ Abigail said. ‘He’s moved out of that awful room and has moved in with us. We’re going to be married at Easter and I’m so happy.’

  Tabs pressed her hands against the bump that was Jack’s child and wanted to tell this girl she was wrong, that Jack couldn’t marry her, that he was going to be a father and his place was with her and their baby, but she was struck dumb. She picked up the cup with hands that shook and hid her face behind it and muttered something, she couldn’t remember what, before making her excuses and hurrying back out into the cold street.

  She went to see Ruth, who was packing boxes with spare bedding and labelling them to either herself or one of her sisters-in-law. ‘Jack is marrying Abigail!’ she burst out as soon as Ruth opened the door. Tearfully, she told Ruth all that had happened, owning up to her dishonesty again and telling her that Jack believed he was related to Ruth’s family in some way. ‘I must have been out of my mind to believe what he told me.’

  ‘He thinks he is related to us? I don’t understand. We don’t have any thing valuable, we certainly don’t have much money.’

  ‘Someone told him that there is an inheritance waiting for him, his father’s “Treasure” with a family called Tyler and your mother was a Tyler before she married. I’m sorry, Ruth, but I’ve been helping him. I let him search through drawers and cupboards in your house. I’m so ashamed. He looked though papers in the loft and when you saw me with the ladder, I was rescuing him after I’d locked him up there when you came home earlier than expected. I’ve behaved like an idiot and you’ve been nothing but kind to me.’

  ‘Why does he think this – inheritance – is here? We don’t have any secrets.’

  ‘There’s nothing except the name. He wouldn’t give up and I thought it was because he loved me and was using the search as an excuse to stay. But it’s Abi he loves.’

  Ruth was frowning, it was such an odd story. Then she looked at Tabs’s unhappy face, tears running down her cheek making her look like a child. ‘I can understand how flattered you were. He’s an attractive man and—’

  ‘And I was convinced I was ugly and stupid and would never find love so I ignored my doubts and convinced myself he really loved me.’

  ‘The thing is, what do we do now?’

  ‘We?’

  ‘Yes, Tabs, we have to think about what happens next. I presume you haven’t told your father about the baby?’

  ‘How can I? He and Martha will be horrified and I very much doubt if they’ll help me.’

  ‘That will be the biggest hurdle so we’d better do it straight away. Come on, I can finish packing later. I’ll come with you and we can face Martha’s outrage together.’

  ‘You’re what? You, expecting a baby? How on earth—’ Martha turned to Tabs’s father. ‘She must be dreaming! The girl must be demented.’

  Slowly, Tabs removed her coat and showed her swollen body.

  ‘Who took advantage of you?’ George demanded.

  ‘No one.’

  Martha turned to Ruth, ‘It’s living in your house – that’s where she learnt to misbehave. It’s your fault for bringing this decent family into disrepute: this is down to you!’

  Ruth and Tabs stood together arm in arm and allowed the tirade to continue, then, as George and Martha paused for breath, Ruth said quietly, ‘What do you want her to do? Now this has happened do you want her to come home?’

  ‘Get out,’ George said. ‘I don’t want her bringing her shame to this house.’

  Without a word of reply, Ruth guided Tabs around and out of the door. ‘You are coming back with me,’ she muttered, as Tabs began to sob. ‘Mali and Megan know about the baby and
they’ll welcome you and care for you. I’ll help. Henry will help, you’ll be fine, I promise.’

  Tabs stayed with Ruth that night. She had the one remaining bed and Ruth settled on the couch. In a strange way it helped her, aware of how empty the house had become that she didn’t even have a spare bed to offer. The decoration Geraint had done looked alien: out of tune with the rest, nothing like she would have chosen. Perhaps leaving would be a relief compared with living here with all its changes, the disappearance of all that was familiar.

  She added a few more coals to the fire and put up the spark guard. She didn’t think she would sleep for a while. An hour later, Tabs tiptoed down and joined her. They sat together on the couch, drinking cocoa and eating toast like delinquent children and it was well after midnight before they slept.

  Chapter Nine

  The For Sale board went up that morning and Ruth stared at it in disbelief. Suddenly it was really happening. She had carried a hope deep within her that something would happen to change her brothers’ minds, but there was no longer any doubt. The house was being sold, the family it had protected for so long was abandoning it. She knew she was being melodramatic and didn’t care, it was how she felt. Two people knocked at the door that day and asked about price and details of the accommodation. Rudely she referred them to the agents and swiftly closed the door. She knew she was behaving like King Canute, trying to stop the tide coming in and she gave a weak smile. It wasn’t possible to stop the sale, but she wasn’t going to make it easy!

  She began to list in her mind all the things she could point out to viewers that needed attention. If she could delay for a while at least, give herself time to adjust to living somewhere else, that was all she could hope for. Aunty Blod had agreed she could stay with her for a while and she was grateful for that. The flat was small and some of her valued pieces would have to go into storage until she had a place of her own. Her bank balance wasn’t large and certainly not enough to buy. She didn’t have a job and that was something she had to attend to without delay. Living in Aunty Blod’s small flat would only be a temporary arrangement.