Nothing is Forever

by Grace Thompson

  ‘Aunty Blod, can you came and stay at the flat for a few hours? Brenda’s in hospital and I want to be near so I get the news fast. Damn me, I think we ought to get one of them phones.’

  ‘What’s happened?’ Blod asked. ‘Calm down and tell me what’s happened, boy.’

  ‘Fell, she did, and I called the doctor and he sent her to hospital. She might be having the baby, now this minute! Tommy and Tina are away, visiting her parents, and they’ve taken the van. They’ll be back soon and they’ll wonder where we are. Stay, will you, till they come, so you can tell them what’s happening?’

  ‘Go you, give me a key and I’ll wait for them. Why didn’t you tell Ruth? She’s closer than me and she’s got a phone.’

  ‘You know what she’s like; she’ll be fussing and Toni has convinced Brenda she’d be better without her. She doesn’t want anyone else there, just me near by, waiting for the news and being the first to see the baby. It’s a special time, see, and we don’t want to share it.’

  ‘You can’t be so unkind, Bryn! Ruth looked after you all for years. At least phone as soon as you’ve seen the baby, she deserves that.’

  ‘I will. I promise. It’s just that, well, Toni isn’t used to close families and—’

  ‘Oh go back to your Brenda, or the news will be in the local paper before you know yourself!’

  She glanced at the mark on the calendar and shrugged. Whoever this mysterious stranger was, the unknown friend who wanted to meet her, he was going to be disappointed. She picked up her coat and set off for the flat, while Bryn ran to the bus stop as though wild animals were in pursuit.

  Brenda gave birth to a son and they had already chosen the name, so Bryn phoned Ruth and told her that Joseph Thomas was seven and a half stone and beautiful.

  Laughing she asked, ‘I presume you mean seven and a half pounds, Bryn.’

  ‘Beautiful he is. I got that part right.’

  ‘Bryn, I know you don’t want me interfering, but would you like me to go to the flat and get it ready for when Brenda and Joseph come home?’ Bryn didn’t argue.

  After phoning to tell Henry the news, she rushed over carrying a bag of cleaning materials. Opening the door of the flat was a shock. It was crammed full of things for the baby, plus some boxes and small pieces of furniture which she guessed they had bought ready for the house they would buy as soon as Ty Gwyn sold. She could hardly move. Better if they had stored the excess in Ty Gwyn; when the house was sold would be the time to take it away.

  Carefully she rearranged the clutter and managed to make room in the bedroom for the cot beside the bed and a cupboard of the baby’s things close by. Really, they should have stayed in Ty Gwyn, not squashed themselves into this tiny place. But, as she worked, she felt a growing guilt. They shouldn’t have had to manage like this. If she had been more helpful when viewers came to look at the house, it would have been sold by now. She worked hard. Beside cleaning the place thoroughly, she dealt with the laundry and cleaned windows and washed the kitchen curtains. When she had finished, the place was clean and organized but it didn’t look like Bryn’s and Brenda’s home any more.

  Anxious, in case she had overstepped Brenda’s wishes, she left a note and explained that she had moved a few things for her to come home to and knew they wouldn’t be permanent changes. She offered her help if it was needed, and hoped Brenda wouldn’t be angry.

  She went there again on the day mother and baby were due home and took cakes and pasties and did some shopping. As soon as they came, she hugged them all, eulogized about the baby and quickly left.

  Later that evening, Bryn rang and thanked her for sorting out the muddle. ‘Brenda intended to do it but our Joseph came earlier than expected and, well, thanks Ruth. Brenda and I are really grateful.’

  At least Brenda wasn’t as unfriendly as Toni, thank goodness, Ruth thought.

  A week later a young couple came and looked at the house and, smiling widely, said they loved it and would buy it as fast as their solicitor could make the arrangements.

  Ruth showed them around, her mind filled with the difficulties Bryn and Brenda, and Tommy and Toni were facing in their tiny accommodation with their new babies to care for. She liked the look of the young couple and showed them the rooms politely and with encouraging comments. She made them tea and offered cakes and concentrated on the wonderful life they had enjoyed there. Two days later she was told that it was sold. The new owners would be taking possession in the middle of April.

  Geraint sighed with relief when she telephoned him, Emrys wrote back and congratulated her, the twins were jubilant, Blodwen was sad, knowing it was the end of an era and nothing would ever be the same again. Ruth went to see Henry, and cried.

  ‘With the house sold and only a few weeks to get out, there’s so much to do,’ she told him. ‘Geraint and Emrys are coming to help with the final clearing and they’ll need feeding. There are decisions to make. You’ve no idea what this move entails, Henry. It’s the family home and that’s different from selling a business.’

  ‘Of course, my moves are nothing compared with yours.’ His sarcasm was wasted. ‘What will you do?’

  ‘The furniture that’s left will go to a second-hand dealer, except the couch. I know you’ll think it silly but I want to keep that. I’ve arranged for it to go into store.’

  ‘I can store it for you if you wish.’

  ‘How can you keep it? Have you found a place to stay?’

  ‘I’ve bought a house and there’ll be plenty of room for your couch.’

  ‘You’ve bought a house? Why didn’t you tell me?’

  ‘I tried. You’ve been so obsessed with your decision making, you haven’t had time to listen to mine.’

  ‘I’m sorry, but it’s been a difficult time for me.’

  ‘Yes, for you, always you, Ruth.’ He stared at her disapprovingly, and as she was about to speak he went on, ‘Don’t worry, I do have someone who listens. Lillian is a good listener and she’s also very wise.’

  ‘You told this – Lillian – and not me? Have we drifted so far we aren’t even friends?’

  ‘Sad, isn’t it? And all because you won’t accept that nothing is forever, that life has to change.’

  ‘Where is it, this house of yours?’

  ‘You’ve seen it, although you might not remember. It’s the beautiful house on the common, with a small woodland behind and large enough for the new enterprise I am starting in May or June.’

  ‘A new business? Not antiques?’ Her voice was low and she stared at him as though she didn’t know him, which was how she was beginning to feel.

  ‘Not antiques. When you have time, I’ll tell you about it. Maybe before I open for the summer season.’

  ‘Henry! Stop it! Tell me what you’re planning.’

  ‘Not planning. It’s already planned. Lillian and I went to see the council and every detail was considered and approval given. Lillian made other suggestions for the winter months and they too have been given the necessary permission.’

  ‘Summer plans, winter plans? What sort of business is it? Not an ice-cream stall on the beach I hope.’ She smiled but he remained serious.

  ‘I’ll take you there on Sunday morning and you can see for yourself.’

  ‘Sunday, but I can’t, they might be needing Sunday lunch.’ Too late she realized she had given the wrong answer. ‘But I can leave sandwiches and cook in the evening.’

  ‘No, don’t change your plans just for me.’

  ‘All right,’ she said, suddenly angry, ‘take this Lillian with you! She understands you better than I do.’ She knew her anger was against herself for her stupidity and not Henry’s fault at all, but he had walked away and it was too late to take back her foolish words.

  On Sunday, she left messages at the flats to tell Tommy and Bryn and the others that she would be out all day, and went to find Henry. It was still early, not yet nine o’clock, and she hoped he would still be at the flat. Although she still had a key, she
knocked and waited for him to respond.

  ‘Can I still come with you to see the house?’

  He stood back and allowed her to enter. On the table she saw what looked like a diagram of a building and went to look at it. He picked it up and folded it away. ‘Better you see the actual building rather than architect’s plans,’ he said. Ruth took a deep breath and swallowed her sharp retort. This wasn’t going to be easy.

  They went in the van that still showed the name of the antique shops he owned. Soon the logo would be changed, but to what, she had no idea.

  She was silent as they drove to the house and she stepped out and looked at it with curiosity. It was larger than she remembered, but she hadn’t seen it all, her lack of interest had been obvious and he hadn’t insisted. What could he be planning? Something of which she wouldn’t approve? Was this the reason he had been less tolerant of her need to care for her family lately? Or was this a home he had bought for himself and this – Lillian?

  The owner wasn’t there and Henry took her straight into the lounge which looked towards the road. Pleasant, but dark as it faced north, she thought. The other rooms were explored and with five bedrooms, all of them large enough to be called doubles, she decided that it was far too large for two people, but Lillian might have children, and that thought was more painful than the rest.

  In what was apparently the dining-room, he took out the architect’s plan and spread it on a table. ‘This,’ he told her quietly, ‘will be a holiday centre. I will invite guests to come on walks to explore the area and most walks will be aimed at one particular aspect of wildlife or flowers. Insects too, and fungi and farming and sea life.’

  ‘But how will you start? How will you find people interested in what you offer? Who will cater for them?’

  ‘Questions at last!’ he said with a smile. ‘Remember Ted Wells, one of the farmers on your insurance round? He will guide some of the walks and there are others who will come when needed and, unbelievably, and thanks to Lillian and her suggestion of early advertising, we already have several bookings.’

  ‘But what made you decide on such a complete change?’

  ‘Our walks, mainly. I enjoyed them and believe you did too. We can’t be the only people to get pleasure out of our countryside, so I began to research the idea and when I saw this house I knew it would be perfect.’

  He led her outside and showed her the long private garden and the woodland, and the stream gently flowing across the property.

  ‘You’re right, it’s perfect,’ she told him Then she asked about the large barn halfway down the garden. ‘Is that yours too?’

  ‘All the outhouses are part of the deal. The owner told me he and his wife used to rent it out for barn dances. Lillian thinks it might be possible to use as a dining-room for large groups once it’s restored.’

  ‘Clever Lillian.’

  She thought she would scream if he mentioned the woman’s name once more. Regret was an ache in her heart. Henry should have waited until she was ready, she should have been involved in the planning, not this hateful woman who was stealing Henry from her.

  ‘Well, I think it’s a wonderful plan, but I’d better go. You’ll need to get back to Lillian and I’ve got to cook for my brothers,’ she lied.

  ‘Yes, I’d better get back to Lillian,’ he agreed and she glanced at him. Was that a smile he was trying to hide? His eyes looked full of amusement too and she decided he was laughing at her. Leaving her for this Lillian and laughing at her. She went through the house and got into the van and didn’t speak another word about the house, just filled the air with trivia all the way home.

  She was glad not to be on her own. The four brothers were there and she helped with the final cleaning and cooked a meal, while they talked cheerfully about their future plans. As she listened to their chatter, she realized that they weren’t dismayed at leaving Ty Gwyn. The likely disintegration of the family by its loss wasn’t real to them. And she admitted for the first time that they didn’t see her as a victim, as she was having a share in the proceeds too.

  When Tommy and Bryn left, Geraint and Emrys went with them for a few hours and Ruth sorted through the piles they had left to go onto the planned bonfire. The picture painted by her uncle when he was a child was thrown with the rest. It wasn’t worth anything, the frame was poor and the glass had a crack across one corner, but some last moment of sentimentality called to her and she lifted it out from the rubbish and put it with other pieces she had saved.

  Once she set about the final clearance, the house let her go; the memories were hers to keep but the place was no longer hers and the pull of sentimentality was gone. Perhaps this was because her mind was filled with regrets. Why had she been so obsessed about parting with the place and refused to allow her brothers to leave to begin lives of her own? She had left herself with nowhere to go. Henry had left to make a life of his own as her brothers had done and it was her own fault.

  She needed to see him, to tell him she didn’t want to lose touch. She had to make him promise to remain her friend, him and this Lillian. She went to the shop, which was closed. There was no van outside and she began to turn away, then she saw Henry leaving by the door to his flat. ‘Henry? I thought you were out, there’s no van outside.’

  ‘It’s gone for repainting, with Peter’s name. I’ve bought a small bus,’ he told her casually. ‘Lillian pointed out straight away that we’ll need transport for the guests if we’re going to take them further than the garden.’

  ‘That’s obvious,’ she muttered.

  ‘Did I tell you my mother is moving there too? The shop being sold means her flat is sold too. She’s very excited about the project. She’s chosen a room and she’ll help with the telephone and bookings.’

  She waved goodbye and hurried back to Ty Gwyn. She had been unable to talk to him about her own plans, which were abysmally vague. ‘Perhaps I should go and ask Lillian!’ she said petulantly to Tabs, who laughed rather than sympathized. Tabs had too many problems of her own.

  Tabs knew Jack was working in the town but she rarely saw him and when she did, he was always in a hurry to be gone. When she tried to talk about the baby, he said all the right things, that as soon as he could he would get them a place and he’d look after her, but she no longer believed him, the words were almost a chanted, rehearsed response with no substance.

  Seeing Abigail and her mother was a painful embarrassment. It was obvious to them now that she was expecting a child, but she couldn’t tell them that Jack was the father. The confrontation was too much for her to consider; she was chilled by the thought of speaking the words to Abigail and Gloria and the exchange of looks that would clearly show she was not believed.

  She tried to see her father on three occasions and each time Martha sent her away. The third time Ruth went with her but the result was the same, with Martha adamant that her father didn’t want to see her. ‘It’s Martha, not my father. Dad wouldn’t throw me out like a heroine in a Victoria melodrama,’ she said to Ruth. ‘It’s she who doesn’t want me to be seen, but where she thinks I’ll hide the baby when he comes I don’t know. Shooing me off like a flock of geese won’t work then, will it?’

  ‘Have you seen Henry, lately?’ Ruth asked her. ‘The shops change hands next week and he’ll be leaving.’

  ‘I know and isn’t it wonderful? The place he’s going to run is called Country Walks Centre and I know it will be a success.’

  ‘You’ve see it?’

  ‘Twice. I went over yesterday to see how the alterations are progressing.’

  Ruth listened to Tabs explaining how some of the bedrooms were being divided into two, and about the extra bathrooms that were being installed. Already the barn was cleaned and would be ready to use for parties and barn dances by the end of the summer. She listened and nodded, pretending she knew all about it. Inside she ached with misery.

  When Henry called at Ty Gwyn on the day before she was finally leaving, she invited him in wondering what
he had to tell her. She dreaded hearing the name Lillian, afraid Henry was more than her friend.

  ‘I have a problem,’ he began and she frowned, expecting the name Lillian to be a part of the next sentence. ‘I have seven guests coming in two weeks time and I haven’t found enough staff.’

  ‘Can’t Lillian help,’ she asked, and immediately regretted the childish response. ‘I mean, doesn’t she know anyone who needs work?’

  ‘She thought of you. How do you feel about helping, just for a while. I need a cook and someone to take charge of the cleaners and the waitresses.’

  ‘Why me?’

  ‘You can cook and you need a job.’

  There was that suspicious hint of amusement in his eyes and she hesitated. Humiliation faced her if he and this Lillian had fallen in love. Yet even in such circumstances she was curious.

  ‘I don’t know what my plans are yet, but I don’t mind helping for a week or two.’

  ‘Thank you. We’ll expect you on Saturday, we’ll have a week to get ready for the first group.’

  Awkward to the last, she shook her head and said she’d be there on Sunday.

  She moved into Aunty Blod’s flat with as few possessions as possible, aware that there was very little room to spare. Some of her things were in store, the rest she stored in the bungalow with Tabs, Mali and Megan.

  Sharing with Blodwen was difficult. Aware that her aunt was used to living alone, she tried to avoid disturbing her routine. Meals were a problem too as she couldn’t take over in her usual manner, she had to wait and find out what and if she could do anything to help.

  Henry called for her early on the Sunday morning and she was dressed smartly, determined to outshine the dreaded Lillian, but she carried a bag filled with older clothes more suitable for sorting out the kitchen which she could hardly remember, except that it looked small.

  She was thinking about the large room in Ty Gwyn with its fireplace and the old couch when she stepped out of the car. The door opened before they reached it and an elderly lady stood there. She was small and she walked with the aid of a walking stick. She was smiling and the pretty face with its surrounding white curls was welcoming. Ruth smiled at her and reached for the offered hand, wondering where this charming lady fitted into this new household.