Nothing is Forever

by Grace Thompson

  ‘I think you should go,’ he said, ‘but not unless I go with you.’

  It was another false alarm and again, no one approached her, even though Henry sat some distance away from her. They were laughing as he drove her back to her flat.

  ‘It’s obviously some poor soul who’s bored and likes a joke. Probably watching from somewhere and wondering whether he can try it once more.’

  ‘If you hear from him again, please tell me,’ Henry said and he looked worried, glancing around him before he followed Blodwen into her flat ‘And if you see someone hanging around, tell me straight away. Promise?’

  ‘I promise. Hey, this is exciting, isn’t it?’’

  ‘Yes, just someone having a laugh at your expense, but anything suspicious, tell me. Not that I think you need be afraid,’ he added quickly. ‘I’d like to catch the person and give them a good telling off, that’s all.’

  Tommy and Toni were considering buying a small, two bed terraced house. Toni had found it and was encouraging Tommy to take it, but Tommy was hesitating. Toni liked it and knew they would be happy there and she also knew why Tommy hesitated to make the decision. Until the twins found houses near to each other neither would move.

  Bryn and Brenda were having the same discussions about a house that was at the end of a terrace but at least twenty minutes from the house Toni had found. They all needed to move to somewhere larger than the small flats they rented but it wasn’t going to be easy to find somewhere to satisfy the brothers. Toni and Brenda knew it was futile to argue, they wanted their husbands to be happy and living no more than a few yards apart was essential to that.

  It was Mali and Megan who found the solution. They were told about the house Toni liked and knew one of the neighbours. When the neighbour told Megan she was going to live with her daughter, Megan contacted the landlord and asked if he was considering selling.

  In great excitement the two girls and Mickie went to see Tommy and told him about it. A hasty conference, a viewing and the twins went to see the owner and negotiated a price.

  When they went to Aunty Blod’s flat to share the news, Ruth showed none of her previous offence or dismay at not being told about the previous viewings. She had come to realize that their lives were not inextricably involved with hers and she greeted the news with delight. Perhaps because of this change of heart, Toni said at once that she must come and see the houses, and this was arranged.

  The two houses were just two houses apart and they were identical, with two bedrooms, two living-rooms, a tiny kitchen and long, narrow gardens, where the twins were already planning their vegetable plots.

  When they went into the second bedroom of the house that would be Tommy’s, they had a shock. The room wasn’t empty like the others. There was a pile of sacks and a grubby blanket in a corner and a supply of half eaten food. Spread carelessly around the floor was a loaf, pulled apart, tins of sardines, a half full lemonade bottle and a few apple cores.

  ‘Damn me, we have a lodger!’ Tommy gasped. Bryn stood on the banisters and pulled himself up to look into the loft but that was empty. They locked the door firmly and went to see the estate agent to report their find and were assured that the litter would be moved. Ruth wondered whether it was Jack, who, from what she’d learned from Tabs, was surviving on very little money.

  From a nearby garden, Jack watched them go and gave a sigh. The empty house had been a comfortable place to stay but now he’d have to find somewhere else. A job in a public house had lasted no longer than the job with the furniture removers. Someone had told the manager about his thefts from the green-grocer and he was told to leave. He couldn’t tell Abigail. He had told her the same as Tabs, that he was travelling further west where he’d heard of another family with the name he was convinced held the key to his treasure, but he was still around, stealing small amounts that so far hadn’t resulted in the police being told, small amounts that people thought might have been a mistake on their part, and certainly didn’t seem worth the trouble of calling in the police.

  He called on Tabs at the antique shop a week after the house was no longer available to him for night shelter and at a time when he couldn’t face another empty, filthy old barn.

  ‘Jack! I thought you’d moved on,’ she said.

  ‘I did, but I came back. I’m worried about you, and I have to try and stay around here so I can see you, convince myself that you’re all right.’

  ‘What will you do?’

  He began to cough then, and he was breathless when he calmed down. ‘I’ve been ill,’ he said, ‘but once I’m all right, I’ll try again to get work. This time I’ll work so hard they’ll never get rid of me. I hate asking you, Tabs, but could you lend me some money to tide me over till I get a job?’

  ‘I can’t spare any, Jack. Don’t ask me to take from the money I’ve saved for when the baby is born, please.’

  ‘It’s only a loan,’ he said, forcing excitement in to his voice. ‘It’s just a short loan. You won’t believe this, Tabs, but I think I’ve found my family! Isn’t it amazing? I’ve found them and as soon as the solicitor gets confirmation, the money will be mine. We’ll be rich, Tabs, and we can be together, just like I’ve always dreamed.’

  She didn’t believe him, but she wanted to. She hesitated, and he kissed her, caressed her swollen body and said, ‘Our baby, Tabs, we’ll be so happy if you can be patient just a while longer.’

  ‘Abigail loves you and believes you love her,’ she said, trying to be strong. ‘She says you and she are getting married.’

  He shook his head. ‘Perhaps she does love me, but she isn’t carrying my child. You are where I belong, darling Tabs.’

  ‘All the money is in a post office account. I’ll need a few days to get it.’

  ‘Thank you, my sweet, wonderful girl.’ He turned the shop sign from open to closed and after a few moments of declaring his love for her, his kisses filling her with a longing to believe him, he left, slowly, reluctantly, coming back twice to kiss her again, and she was almost convinced.

  She couldn’t find Mali or Megan who were out for the evening at a children’s party with Mickie, and Ruth was too far away. She had to talk to someone. So she went to see Aunty Blod, intending to wait there until Ruth came home. Within moments of arriving, she told Blod what had happened.

  Blod listened carefully then told her she mustn’t believe him. ‘Can’t you see how he’s using you?’ she said gently. ‘Why hasn’t he told Abigail that it’s you he wants to be with? She truly believes he will marry her. Can’t you see that it’s lies he’s feeding you? Shy you might be, young Tabs, but stupid you’re not, so why are you pretending to yourself?’

  ‘I don’t want to upset him and maybe lose him. If I’m patient and understanding, he might—’

  ‘Does Abi know it’s his child you’re carrying?’

  ‘No, and I won’t tell her until Jack says I can. She won’t believe me and he’ll be angry that I’d upset her. He’ll tell her when he thinks the moment is right.’

  ‘At least pretend there’s a delay in getting the money. You need everything you have for yourself and your baby. At least agree to that.’

  Tabs agreed. ‘But only for a while. I’m sure he’ll return it and I want to help him.’

  ‘He’s a thief. Even you can’t deny that, dear, so what makes you think he’ll return the money?’

  ‘I don’t. I just hope he will.’

  Three times over the following day when she saw Jack approaching, she closed the shop door and turned the sign around and hid in the back room. She felt guilty and very foolish but she had to be honest, Blod had been right about her needing the money and she couldn’t face Jack and tell him she couldn’t help him. She saw him five times and after three days she saw him no more and wondered where he had gone. And whether she would ever see him again.

  She had found Peter James a considerate man to work for and happily stayed longer than the hours for which he paid her. She had nothing else to do. S
he rarely went out, self-conscious about her now clearly visible pregnancy that attracted comments, many overheard and many more just imagined. Mali and Megan pleaded with her to go with them to the dance.

  ‘Not to dance, we know you’d hate that, but can’t you come and watch from a safe corner? It’s such fun and we know you love the music,’ Mali pleaded, one day in late August.

  On Mali’s promise not to try and coax her out from the darkest corner, she agreed. Wearing her largest dress and draping a large scarf around her shoulders to hang down in front of her she went. Her first surprise was Megan being with them, Abi having agreed to stay with Mickie for a few hours.

  She recognized Kenny, playing trumpet with the five-piece band on the stage and her feet were soon tapping with the rhythm of the melody, then the singer appeared. There, in a shimmering dress, in front of the microphone was Mali. She sang two songs and the compère announced that she would be back later in the evening with two more.

  ‘Isn’t she’s wonderful!’ Tabs said to Megan.

  Mali had often left the audience to sing but this was different. She wore a beautiful long gown that glittered, and the spotlight was on her. She was a part of the entertainment as never before. ‘I knew she could sing, but it’s such a long time since I heard her perform. This is more wonderful than I imagined.’

  ‘Your sister is a star!’

  ‘They love her, don’t they,’ Megan said proudly. ‘I think I’ll be losing my lovely sister before long; either Kenny or her talent will take her away from me.’

  ‘Are you worried?’ Tabs asked.

  ‘Not as long as you’ll stay with me, for a while anyway, until romance takes you away too.’

  Thoughts of Jack came immediately to Tabs’s mind and were pushed away. That scenario was no more than a cruel joke.

  Ruth was walking towards Ty Gwyn one afternoon and she saw a young woman walking down the path near the front door brushing up leaves, watched by a baby in a pram. Beside them, a boy of about five was struggling with a large and boisterous dog. She stopped and smiled. The house was certainly being lived in, she thought and realized that she felt little of the regret and sense of loss she had once thought would never leave her. She saw the carefully gathered leaves scattered by sudden exuberance on the part of the five year old, and watched as the mother laughed and pretend to chase him with the witch’s broom. An idea came to her and she stood a moment longer wondering whether Henry would be interested when she heard a car slow and stop. She was about to move on and she turned to see Henry frowning at her from the driver’s seat.

  ‘I was just thinking—’

  ‘Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know,’ he said irritably.

  He started to move off and she shouted at him, ‘I was just thinking that we could have a Halloween party in the barn!’ She turned and hurried off in the opposite direction. By the time he’d turned and followed she would be out of sight. Just as well or they’d have an argument.

  Footsteps behind her made her turn and she saw Henry running to catch her up. She took a deep breath and prepared for battle. He caught hold of her arm and smiled. ‘Brilliant idea, I can’t think why I didn’t think of it!’

  She felt her shoulders droop from the position of defence. ‘You think it’s possible?’

  ‘Just what’s needed to bring the place to the notice of the local people. Country-wide advertising is essential, but this first winter we’ll need something more. Will you help?’

  ‘I’ve planned quite a few for the—’ She hesitated, then said defiantly. ‘I know you don’t like me mentioning them, but I arranged all sorts of parties for my brothers and their friends, so your Country Walks Centre won’t faze me for a moment!’

  ‘Your expertise has never been in question. It’s your temper: you’re more stormy than the weather.’ He was smiling and she looked away, not wanting to back down.

  ‘We can discuss it when I come tomorrow,’ she said, beginning to walk away.

  ‘Why not now? There isn’t much time, is there, if we’re going to get the event advertised.’

  She walked back to the car and he held the door for her. They drove to the edge of town, and parked outside a restaurant.

  ‘I can’t stay long,’ she warned.

  ‘Why? Who are you feeding now?’

  ‘Aunty Blod will wonder where I am.’

  ‘All right, just a drink and I’ll drive you back.’

  She took out a notebook and began to write a list as he went to buy tea and cream cakes. When he came back she began to discuss the ideas she had noted. She looked up as he made no comments and saw that he was again, smiling.

  ‘I wish you’d stay at the centre, or will you learn to drive so you can get there easier?’

  ‘Drive?’

  ‘Yes, a motor car. You know, you must have seen some about the place,’ he said, clearly amused.

  ‘What are you laughing at?’ she demanded. ‘Have I got cream on my face?’

  ‘You. The way you question everything I say, with such suspicion. And yes, you’ve got cream on your face.’ Now she was laughing too.

  They discussed the ideas she had written and agreed to make a firm plan on the following day and get the advertising underway. As it was the end of their first summer, Rachel suggested the profits should be given to a charity to encourage more supporters and they decided on a charity for sick children.

  ‘I walked past Ty Gwyn yesterday,’ Ruth told Rachel, ‘and I was surprised at how I have become accustomed to seeing a new family there. A young woman was in the garden brushing up leaves with a witch’s broom and the children and a huge dog were hindering her efforts and she was laughing. It seemed so right to see them there. Isn’t it strange? I thought I’d be unable to see strangers there.’

  ‘I’m glad, my dear,’ Rachel said. ‘Change is good for us so we don’t get too complacent, too satisfied with what we have, not realizing we can have so much more.’

  Blodwen had been to the morning market in a nearby village and she had missed the bus back. Knowing she would have to wait for an hour for the next, she began to walk, confident that the bus would stop for her if she was between stops, if she waved her stick. A man approached and she stopped to stare at him, unsure at first, then she recognized Jack. He was in filthy clothes having just finished cleaning a yard for a farmer. He hated jobs that left him dirty but he didn’t refuse any opportunity to earn a few shillings. Seeing Blodwen made him wish he could turn around and walk in the opposite direction, It was too late, she had recognized him and was watching him, disapproval on her wrinkled face.

  ‘Missed the bus?’ he asked.

  ‘You won’t be allowed on a bus looking and smelling like you do!’

  ‘I’m walking through the fields. It isn’t far, come if you like.’

  She shook her head. ‘I’ll wait.’ He shrugged and she saw him squeeze through a hedge and disappear in the direction of the town.

  Jack, cleaned and wearing freshly laundered clothing, gathered from where he hid them, saw Abigail as he was about to walk through the park, presumably on her way back to work after the lunch break. She was passing the antique shop and, when he saw her cross the road as though going to see Tabs, he ran, calling her name, thankful he was tidily dressed. Tabs turned the corner and was about to open the shop door. He didn’t want the two halves of his life to become close friends.

  If Abigail learned the truth about him being the father of Tabs’s child he would never see her again and that was too awful to contemplate. He loved her and if only he could solve the mystery of his inheritance, or forget all about it, he’d settle down to concentrate on looking after her. She had been so wonderfully understanding, accepting that he needed to find the truth, content to give him time, but even he knew he couldn’t ask her to wait much longer. ‘Abi,’ he shouted and she turned as her hand was about to touch the shop door handle and walked towards him. He quickly led her away. Tabs was inside, taking off her coat and didn’t see either of
them.

  ‘Jack. Just the person I want to see,’ she said, and he was alarmed to see a frown on her face.

  ‘Is everything all right, love?’ he asked. He put an arm around her waist but she slid away from him. ‘Abi? What’s wrong?’

  ‘Are you the father of Tabs’s baby?’ She looked at him, her eyes cloudy with doubts.

  ‘What? Me and Tabs? Who’s been talking rubbish? I love you, Abi, and you only have to look at Tabs to know there’s no chance me doing anything more than a kiss to keep her sweet. I needed her help, you know that, but a baby? Abi, how can you think such a thing for a moment.’ He pushed her gently into the doorway of an empty shop and held her close. ‘Look in a mirror and you’ll see a beautiful young woman, then compare yourself with poor Tabs. She’ll never find a man to look at her with anything more than pity.’

  Slowly convinced she asked, ‘Do you know who the father is?’

  ‘Yes, I know, but I can’t tell you. Too many people will be hurt if the truth comes out.’ His eyes slid in the direction of the antique shop and back to her face. ‘I can’t tell. Not even you.’

  ‘Henry!’ she gasped. ‘It’s Henry Owen, isn’t it?’

  ‘Don’t make me say it, Abi. Please don’t make me say it. Think of Tabs and Ruth and Henry’s mother. So many people being hurt.’

  ‘I’m so sorry, Jack. Mum really thought—’

  ‘That I could lead the poor girl on and risk losing you? How could I look at anyone else when I have you?’

  ‘Come with me now and talk to Mum. She’s in the café waiting for me. Make her see she’s mistaken.’

  Gloria was not swayed by anything he said. ‘He might convince you, Abigail, but I’m not so easily fooled. Haven’t you realized how much time he’s spending with Tabs? Face facts and tell him to go,’ she said, staring into her daughter’s eyes desperate to convince her.