The Christmas Holiday

by Maxine Morrey

  ‘He’s lived in the UK for a long time. I guess it rubs off.’

  Liv tore off a bit of naan. ‘So you two were really engaged?’

  ‘Yep.’

  ‘For how long?’

  ‘About a year.’

  ‘Really?’

  I took a deep breath. ‘Yep.’

  ‘Oh. I didn’t mean to sound like I was surprised you and he were together. That’s not how it came out, is it?’

  A bit. Yes.

  ‘No. Not at all.’

  ‘It’s just that Hunter’s so… anti-commitment!’

  At her comment, I swallowed quicker than I’d planned and began trying to cough quietly as some rice stuck halfway. Olivia quickly poured me a water and put the glass in my hand. I downed the lot and shoved the offending blockage on its way.

  ‘You OK?’

  ‘Yes. Thanks. Went down the wrong way.’

  ‘So, like I say, it just really surprised me he was ever engaged. Well, serious at all, to be honest. Ilana would have had a ring on his finger sooner than you can say I do if she could have.’

  ‘Oh,’ I said, insightfully.

  ‘But he was upfront from the start. I have to give him that. He never leads anyone on. He always tells them he’s not the committing type. I mean, not that he would cheat on anyone… Oh God, he didn’t cheat on you, did he?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Good. But yes, he just tells them he’s not looking for anything serious. Every time. He’s never looking for anything serious. Ever. We’ve known him for quite a few years now, and I’ve never known him to be any other way.’

  ‘I guess people change,’ I shrugged.

  ‘Can I ask something?’

  I had a feeling I knew what was coming, and I really wanted to say no.

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘Do you think what happened with you two changed his outlook? You know? Gave him the commitment issues he has now.’

  ‘No. I don’t think so. It was a mutual decision.’

  Sort of.

  Liv nodded and then threw a glance back towards her fiancé, her perfect brows knotting at their lack of progress.

  I followed her glance, sensing the tension. ‘Goodness, they really are stuck there, aren’t they? Hang on. I’ll go and see what I can do.’ I stood and made my way over to where Hunter and Sandeep were still being held in conversation, despite making several polite attempts to head towards the food.

  ‘Darling! There you are!’ I said, slipping my arm through Hunter’s as I turned to the couple. ‘Olivia and I were beginning to think we’d been abandoned!’ I gave a tinkly laugh, and doinked my head adorably against Hunter’s bicep.

  ‘Of course not, sweetheart. We were just coming.’ Hunter joined in the charade. ‘So nice to meet you.’ He shook hands with the man and nodded to the woman, who was now looking at me with a very fixed smile. Sandeep followed suit and we all made our way over to the table, where Sandy sat momentarily and apologised to Liv. Hunter pulled out my chair, bending as I sat. ‘Nicely done. I owe you one.’

  Once the men had got back with their plates suitably loaded up, we fell into an easy conversation and talked over all the things we had seen so far, and of the places still to come.

  ‘So, you said you’d been together for three years, is that right?’ I asked as we all returned to the table after a dessert run.

  Liv nodded. ‘I can’t believe it sometimes – it’s all gone so fast, hasn’t it, Sandy?’

  Sandy had a mouthful of sweet, sticky Indian pudding and took the option of nodding and covering his fiancée’s hand with his own in answer.

  ‘Love at first sight?’

  A hint of blush coloured Liv’s cheeks. ‘I thought he was the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. Of course, I expected him to know that too. At least that had been my experience quite often in the past. And I knew he was very successful – but I didn’t think there was any way we’d get on. But then he looked at me across the room, excused himself and came over to speak to me.’ Liv smiled at her fiancé. ‘I don’t think we spoke to anyone else again the whole evening.’

  I glanced across at Hunter, expecting him to make his usual sarcastic remark or pull a face. He had his head down, focused on his dessert. But I could see the gentle smile that softened his features.

  ‘And you, Sandeep? Is that how you remember things too?’

  Sandy gave a little head tilt. ‘I’d seen Liv’s photograph several times, and we’d likely been at the same functions at the same time but I’d never managed to get the opportunity to meet her. When this one came up, and I knew she was on the guest list, I was determined. She was beautiful and from my enquiries—’

  ‘You made enquiries?’ Liv laughed.

  ‘Of course! And from those enquiries, I knew I had to meet her.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘And here we are!’ He laughed.

  ‘How soon did you know that this was where you’d end up?’ I pursued, partly in a work capacity, and partly just because I loved a romantic story.

  ‘Oh, probably about when she said “hello” back to me.’

  Liv nuzzled against Sandy’s face and Hunter gently shook his head, but the soft smile was still in place.

  I didn’t have the right words just then, so I smiled instead. But I knew I would, in time.

  Having demolished several puddings between us, we savoured the dark, rich coffee that followed. An announcement by the maître d’ then informed us the outdoor festivities would begin in ten minutes. Liv made a little squeal and grabbed Sandeep’s hand.

  ‘Come on!’

  Hunter and I held back a little more so he could get some shots of the whole scene, and focus on them without me getting in the way. In the low light of the evening, I could see his features concentrating on the task. His long fingers held the camera steady as he captured the scene and the atmosphere, his height helping him cut out extraneous matter from the shots. I’d always loved watching him work but there was an extra layer of fascination now because I was part of it all. For the moment, anyway.

  All of a sudden, the charcoal black of the sky was transformed into colour as fireworks shot upwards, their explosions booming out as colour rained down from them in a fantastic display. The noise was unrelenting as one after another chased into the sky, accompanied by oohs and exclamations from the crowd. I glanced back at Hunter, my expression of delight immediately turning to a frown. His face was tense and, from the light of another eruption, I could see a sheen of fine sweat on his brow. He grabbed a few more shots and began to lower the camera. There was no way I could make him hear me over the noise of the display, so I stepped closer to check he was OK. Just as I did so, a barrage of explosions rang out as they flew into the sky, raining gold and pink. Hunter staggered back a couple of steps, almost tripping as he got his back up against a wall. Quickly, I moved towards him as he leant back, his eyes closed.

  ‘Hunter.’ I touched his arm, gently.

  He jumped and his hand was around my wrist in an instant. A split second later, his eyes on me, he let go.

  ‘Sorry. I…’ He didn’t finish.

  ‘What’s going on?’

  He shook his head. ‘Nothing.’

  ‘So obviously not true. Do you have what you need?’

  ‘What?’ His eyes were back on the sky.

  I put my hands firmly on his upper arms. ‘Hunter. Look at me.’

  He pulled his gaze away and I was shocked by the look of pain and horror they held. Where was he in his mind? And just what had happened to put that memory there? I couldn’t bear seeing this great, solid rock of a man recoiling in fear at the sounds. Whatever the hell had happened, or was still happening in his head, I knew I needed to get him out of there.

  ‘Answer me. Do you have what you need?’ I gave him a little shake to make him focus on me.

  His eyes darted briefly until they found my face. ‘Yeah… I mean… Yes. I think so.’

  ‘OK. Then let’s go.’

&
nbsp; ‘I… no. I have to…’ His eyes were darting again and his fingers were gripping the camera body so tight I thought it might shatter under the pressure.

  ‘You said you have what you need. Come on. Those fireworks are giving me a headache. I could do with finding somewhere a bit quieter for a break. Any ideas?’

  ‘Yes. Sounds… sounds good. I…’

  His brow knotted deeply as a huge firework shattered in the sky with an enormous boom that I felt in my chest. I linked my arm with his, wrapping my hands around his forearm, and steered him back inside the hotel. We stepped into the lifts and he leant back against the mirrored interior, his eyes closing, not opening until the soft ping of the doors signalled him to do so. Our rooms were on the other side of the hotel to the grounds where the celebrations were being held and the sounds, although still audible, were more indistinct here.

  ‘I’ll see you in the morning,’ he said, not looking at me as we got to his room.

  I didn’t want him to go in and lie there, thinking about whatever it was that had caused the reaction I’d seen downstairs, or possibly drink himself into a stupor in order to try and chase it away. His keycard bleeped.

  ‘Hunter?’

  He turned his head, but his eyes remained lowered. I knew he didn’t want me poking around in his mind, but I couldn’t help it.

  ‘Please talk to me.’

  ‘There’s nothing to talk about. Goodnight, Mia.’

  I quickly stepped between him and the door.

  ‘Fine. Don’t talk to me then. But don’t lie to me either. And don’t treat me like I need to be protected from something because I don’t—’

  ‘You have no idea…’ He shook his head.

  ‘You’re right. I don’t. Because you won’t talk to me. And that’s your choice. But it’s not your job to protect me from all the bad stuff either. It never was!’

  He looked at me for the first time then, sandwiched between him and the door. There was no reply but the saddest of smiles flitted over his face.

  ‘Please. Look, you don’t have to talk about it. I promise I won’t ask you again tonight. But I’d love to see some of the shots you’ve taken so far. Would you show me?’

  His eyes travelled over my face, hovering momentarily on my lips before meeting my eyes again. I felt my breathing change and, now he seemed a little calmer, the proximity of his body to mine seemed to register with my brain. And some other regions. Oh. Crikey. That probably wasn’t good.

  ‘You didn’t lose any of your tenacity, did you?’

  I gave him a quick eyebrow-raise and smile in response.

  He took a deep breath, the broad chest rising and falling close to me.

  ‘OK. You win. I just need to get my laptop.’

  ‘OK.’

  The corner of his mouth tilted up. ‘You’re kind of in the way.’

  ‘Oh!’ I bumped back to reality with an embarrassing thud. ‘Yes! I am. Of course, I am! Sorry.’ I scooted out from his doorway and pointed at my own. ‘I’ll... umm... be in here. You know. Whenever.’

  Oh God, did that sound like a come on?

  ‘For the photos,’ I added, just in case.

  Hunter studied me for a moment, his expression somewhere between confused and amused. Which, even though it was at my expense, I was happy to trade for the one I’d seen in his eyes earlier.

  ‘You OK?’

  ‘Absolutely. See you in a bit.’

  He nodded. ‘Give me five minutes.’

  ‘Sure.’

  I beeped my card against the door and went inside, giving myself an eye-roll as I did. Heading into the bathroom, I splashed some cold water on my face, which currently felt as red as the setting sun I’d sat and watched sink hurriedly beneath the horizon earlier this evening. What was that all about? Was it really that I just hadn’t had a relationship in a long time… or was it specifically Hunter Scott who had set off those reactions? I groaned and put my forehead against the cold marble of the bathroom wall. That was definitely not a direction I was prepared to take again. And I was pretty sure the feeling was mutual.

  When I opened the door to Hunter a few minutes later, he’d exchanged his shirt for a T-shirt, and his hair looked damp. Unbidden, a vision of him stripped to the waist and splashing water around popped into my mind. I gave the image a good, hard shove out of my head.

  ‘Hi.’

  ‘Hi.’ I stood aside, letting him pass. ‘Would you like a drink? I’ve got some sweet lime soda in the fridge.’

  He nodded as he took a seat on the sofa over by the balcony door, which I’d kept closed in order to muffle as much of the Diwali celebration noise as possible.

  ‘You don’t have to keep that shut for me, you know.’ Hunter eyed the window as I carried the drinks over.

  ‘I’m not. I just fancied keeping it a little cooler in here with the air conditioning. It was quite warm in here earlier and…’

  I drifted off as Hunter reached for his drink and set his gaze on me. It was kind of hard to fib when those intense deep-blue eyes were focused on you. I held out the drink to him and he took it. His hand shook as he did so and he knew I’d noticed. It was hard not to. I didn’t say anything, taking the seat next to him, and watching from the corner of my eye as, knuckles whitening, he gripped the glass tighter in an attempt to stop the shake. He took a long drink before setting the tumbler on the table. It clattered against the surface momentarily as he did.

  ‘What did you want to see?’ he asked, shifting the focus from him to his work, his eyes fixed on the computer in front of us, refusing to meet mine.

  ‘Whatever you’re happy to show me.’

  He flipped the lid up on the laptop and fired it up, flicking his gaze to mine for the briefest of moments. ‘I bet you say that to all the boys.’

  I’d been hugging a fuzzy-textured cushion from the sofa and, at his comment, gave him a bop with it. Hunter smiled and concentrated on the computer. ‘Here.’

  I tucked the cushion back onto my lap, leaned over and began to view the photographs.

  ‘They’re incredible, Hunter. Olivia and Sandeep are going to be so thrilled! As is Jeremy. Between you and me, he’s over the moon to have you working on something for him.’

  ‘Thanks. I’m happy to be doing it. Jeremy is a good guy. You can’t say that about everyone in his position. Especially in this business. But I knew his reputation and I liked him when I met him too, so it’s all good.’

  Hunter closed the laptop and reached for the drink again. His hand had stilled now and he seemed less tense than he had earlier. I took a sip of my own drink as I decided on something.

  ‘Hunter? What is it you’re not telling me?’

  He let out a sigh. ‘I agreed to come in here on the basis that you said you weren’t going to ask again tonight.’

  ‘I know. I did say that, you’re right. But I’m worried.’

  ‘Mia. It’s nothing. And it’s certainly nothing that’s going to put your precious big chance at risk, so you can stop worrying.’

  I slammed my glass down on the table.

  ‘That’s what you think I’m worried about? The job?’

  ‘Isn’t it? You certainly made a big enough song and dance about me trying to get you bumped off it in the first place.’

  ‘No, it’s not. And of course I did! You would have done exactly the same thing, and you know it. But they’re two different things. I’m worried about you, not the damn job!’

  ‘Well, stop.’

  ‘How can I? Something’s clearly going on with you and I want to help. If I can.’

  Hunter was already halfway across the room. ‘Mia. There is nothing going on and, just to remind you, we broke up five years ago this Christmas. Even if there was something, it’s no longer your concern or responsibility, so just let it go, will you?’

  ‘Just because we broke up doesn’t mean I don’t care about you any more!’

  He pulled the door open, not turning. ‘Get some sleep.’

  The do
or clicked closed in the sudden silence, broken only occasionally by the soft hum of the air conditioning. A moment later the door next to mine shut too. I sat heavily on the edge of the bed, wondering if I should have just let it go as he said. My mind projected images of the look in his eyes when the fireworks had started, his strong, solid body rammed up hard against the wall, as though trying to make himself a part of it, the pain and confusion on his face. I knew I couldn’t just let that go. I’d had to at least try to get him to talk to me, to open up about whatever it was that tormented him. But I’d underestimated the gap Hunter now saw between us. In his eyes, because I’d been the one with whom he’d once shared everything, I was now the one with whom he’d share nothing at all.

  Chapter Eleven

  From the colour and charms of India, our next stop was the slightly less exotic destination of Florida. Sandeep had explained previously that the route for the trip wasn’t exactly the most logical and that we would be going back on ourselves a couple of times, but that it would be necessary in order to experience things like Diwali and also to fit in with a meeting he needed to take later in the trip. The flights were all business class on premier airlines or by private jet, and I had more space and comfort than I’d ever known on any previous method of travel on ground or in the air, so I was more than happy. Flying gave me the chance to catch up on stuff, not to mention the luxury of being unreachable for hours at a time. It seemed a rare opportunity in today’s world, so I never opted to plug in to the available Wi-Fi and instead stayed blissfully disconnected for the entire flight.

  When we’d met that morning, ready to head back to the airport, Hunter hadn’t spoken much. In the car, he’d almost immediately rested his head on the back of the seat and closed his eyes. I wasn’t convinced he was asleep but I took the hint. In the airport, he’d spent most of the time on the phone, or working on his laptop, and by the time we were on the plane, I’d most definitely got the message.

  ‘Fine,’ I mumbled to myself, shoving headphones over my ears after we’d levelled out in the air. I reclined my chair right back. ‘Have it your way.’

  ‘Sorry, madam. Did you say something?’ A stewardess stopped beside me. I looked back at her blankly.