The Christmas Holiday

by Maxine Morrey

  ‘Always full of compliments,’ Hunter teased as he took the hand she offered and gave it a squeeze on his way to the breakfast buffet.

  I slid into a chair and accepted Sandeep’s offer of coffee, hoping the caffeine would spark my engine into life.

  ‘Everything… all right?’ Liv asked, as Sandy passed me a cup.

  ‘Liv. Leave the woman alone!’ he laughed.

  I waved his concern away. ‘Don’t worry. And yes, everything is fine. Thanks.’

  ‘Fine, fine or fine fine.’ Liv leant towards me, her eyes wide, waiting for some salacious explanation of the reason for our tiredness.

  ‘Just normal fine. Sorry, Liv.’

  She gave a disappointed sigh. Sandeep caught my eye, rolled his own and called the waiter over for more coffee.

  I was sorry to leave the beautiful resort behind. Its serenity and tranquillity had been a welcome break from the more energetic pursuits on the trip. I’d caught up on rest – well, until last night. The headaches had now gone, as had the bump on my head, and I’d got a tonne of work done. Even sharing a room with Hunter hadn’t been as trying as both of us had anticipated it would be. In fact, I knew I’d be lying to myself if I said anything other than that the unexpected situation had – until the final night, at least – added to the experience. We didn’t always talk, but the silences were comfortable. And comforting. The bed was big enough not to cause too much awkwardness. Hunter stayed on his side, I stayed on mine. Neither of us had any inclination to do otherwise. I knew for a fact that, once Lorelei found out I’d shared a bed with him without sharing anything else, I’d be in for some severe questioning. And I could understand that. The lack of inclination didn’t always extend to the physical part of me. I knew his body and I knew what he could do to mine. It wasn’t something I was likely to forget, especially not when he was lying next to me. But I’d had to shove all thoughts of that away. I’d hurt him once before. Even deeper than I’d realised. But he was different now, it seemed. Less emotional when it came to sex and relationships. If anything had happened between us, it would have just been another in a long line of one- or two-night stands for him. I’m not sure what it would have been for me. Apart from hot, incredible and a really, really bad idea.

  ***

  The flight back to Heathrow was long and Hunter and I didn’t speak much throughout. I swapped seats with Sandeep for a while and Liv and I sat and chatted as we flicked through her latest copy of Vogue and she pointed out pieces she thought would look good on me. I’d squinted at the price in the tiny print, laughed and told her maybe another day. Hunter and I had watched films, read and avoided conversation by staying plugged into our headphones. He’d also slept quite a lot and I couldn’t help my eyes straying every now and then, watching for any signs his nightmare might be returning. Thankfully it didn’t and, when he finally woke, I was glad to see he looked somewhat more refreshed than he had. And a heck of a lot more than I did. Still, the bracing air of Scotland we were shortly due to experience would blow any remaining cobwebs away. I was pretty sure of that.

  Having collected our luggage, we headed over to pick up the private jet that would now transfer us from the swarm of life that was London Heathrow to the remote Scottish isle Sandeep and Liv had booked for the next stint of the holiday before we once again returned to London and began the final descent towards the wedding itself.

  ***

  ‘Fuck me!’ Hunter’s erudite exclamation voiced the single thought we all had as we stepped off the jet and out onto the small runway. He stuck a hand in an outside pocket of his rucksack, raked around for a minute and pulled out a knitted beanie and a pair of gloves. His organisation impressed me, and I made a mental note to learn from his example. All I had in the side pocket of my bag was my sunglasses, a bottle of water and a half-eaten pack of Munchies. None of which was going to do me any good right now.

  ‘Where is this bloody car?’ Liv said, stamping her feet on the snow-covered ground and wrapping her ankle-length cashmere coat around her tighter.

  ‘Should be here any time,’ Sandeep replied, checking his phone. ‘Did you know there was no service here?’

  ‘There’s Wi-Fi at the inn. That will have to do you for now.’ Olivia had her innocently superior face on.

  ‘Hmm…’ He snuggled her to him. ‘It’s a good job I love you as much as I do.’

  Liv smiled and Hunter threw me a glance.

  ‘Sandy loves his phone. This is big.’

  With his arms wrapped around his fiancée, Sandeep lifted one hand and gave Hunter a silent reply. Hunter grinned, his teeth white against his tan.

  I smiled back at him and gave a little nod, afraid that if I moved my head too much it might actually snap off. How could I be this cold and still be alive? And just where the hell was that wind getting in? The next moment the wind had stopped and I was squashed against Hunter’s large bulk, his arms tight around me and his knee-length wool overcoat wrapped around both of us. I tilted my head up and Hunter looked down, his blue eyes a mixture of amusement and exasperation.

  ‘Your teeth were chattering so loudly, it was actually giving me a headache.’

  I let out a huff of indignation and pushed away, which got me precisely nowhere. Hunter locked his arms and kept me encircled.

  ‘Apart from being pissed off, are you also warmer?’

  Annoyingly, I was.

  ‘Yes,’ I replied, grumpily, to his chest.

  ‘Right then. Call me whatever you like but at least you’re not shaking your teeth out of your head.’

  ‘Try not to be quite so smug.’

  ‘I can try.’

  My arms were down by my sides, pinned under his, so I doinked my head against his chest in reply. I felt the chuckle rumble in his chest and his arms tighten a little more. The sound of an engine broke the silence and a Landrover came into sight over the crest of a nearby hill. As it pulled up, Hunter released me and stepped away to start readying the luggage. Immediately, the wind once again sheered through me and my teeth resumed their chattering. He threw me a look and laughed softly, before turning away again. Liv and Sandeep got into the vehicle and I passed my hand luggage to Hunter. He’d insisted on helping the driver – who had arrived wearing a Santa hat complete with bell – load up the bags, so I followed the others into the car. Inside was definitely much warmer but I couldn’t stop myself feeling the loss of Hunter’s arms around me. What I wasn’t sure of was whether his warmth was the only thing I was missing. Quickly I pushed the thought away, knowing this really wasn’t a thread I wanted to pull.

  As we arrived at the idyllic and incredibly exclusive boutique hotel that sat atop the cliff face, keeping watch over the fiercely raging sea, we had our second and inescapable reminder that the festive season was upon us. Despite Christmas items having been in the shops at home since practically the end of August, once we’d started the trip, other celebrations had served to distract us from it. From Diwali in India, to everything being focused on Thanksgiving in America, and then the resort in Malaysia apparently choosing to remain detached from links with any religion, however tenuous those were these days, it had been easy to forget that it was now only a few weeks until those sleigh bells rang. But from the look of the two enormous, exquisitely decorated Christmas trees that framed the entrance, we were about to be plunged back headlong into it big time.

  The fact that the place described itself as an inn was a little misleading. In essence, it was exactly that. But that essence had been distilled and turned into something quite different. Every whim was catered for – all right, except for Sandeep’s desire for mobile phone coverage, but since he’d enabled Wi-Fi calling on his handset, he was now happy too. At least within the confines of the building. Apart from that – and because of that for most people – it was perfect. Twenty-four-hour service, a pool, gym, health spa, and all of it overlooking the wild, white-crested sea, tumbling and chasing in towards the rocks before exploding against them with deafening force.
<
br />   ***

  I was standing near the edge of the dark, granite cliff, looking down as the water sucked away from the rocks, exposing the jagged edges and leaving them shiny and glinting in the low winter sun. The bitter wind we’d been greeted with had brought with it three days of snow and, although the place was luxurious and offered various diversions, frankly I was going a bit stir crazy. Seeing the sun this morning, peering through the clouds as though it was debating whether to actually put in an appearance or not, had me layering up and pulling the hiking boots out of the winter luggage that had been delivered to the private jet, ready for our journey north. Knowing the daylight was limited, thanks to our northerly position, I’d been determined to make the most of it and had spent the last few hours exploring the island, following trails on a map the concierge had given me and eating my rather posh packed lunch in the shelter of an old, half-ruined croft. The stone wreck not only gave me protection from the wind but also a place to park my bum, and a breathtaking view across untamed ocean. Suitably revived, I’d continued on my exploration, which had now brought me to this spot. The sound of the surf breaking on the rocks below drowned out my thoughts and I stood instead, watching sea birds wheel and soar then flap against the wind, their calls whipped away out to sea on the gusts. I delved into my pocket, found my ugly phone case and, tucking my gloves in the same pocket for a moment, took a couple of shots before the light faded too much.

  ‘Mia.’ A hand on my shoulder made me turn quickly and I let out a small, but choice, selection of expletives as my heart rate shot up and my feet stumbled momentarily.

  ‘Jesus, Hunter! You scared the bloody life out of me!’

  ‘Sorry. I did call a couple of times, but I guess you didn’t hear me.’

  He guessed right. He had to raise his voice now, even though he was standing right in front of me, to have a conversation, which only reiterated that, when it came to nature, it was hard to compete.

  ‘Adding to your CV?’ he asked, pointing at the phone.

  I did a maybe yes, maybe no thing with my head as I swapped the phone for my gloves and pulled them back on. ‘It would certainly save money if I could provide the images too, not to mention hassle. You know what some of these photographers can be like. Total divas, most of them.’

  ‘You do realise you’re still dangerously close to that cliff edge, don’t you?’

  ‘I’m not dangerously close,’ I said, glancing down and just double-checking I wasn’t. ‘I’m…’ I stopped as I looked up and met the level gaze now trained on me. ‘Oh. I see. Well, obviously I didn’t mean you. Never even crossed my mind!’

  A smile flickered at the corners of his mouth. ‘Of course you didn’t,’ he agreed, ‘and as much as I know it’s going to annoy you for me to say this, would you mind just coming away from the edge a little more? For my own peace of mind.’ He held out his gloved hand and I took it, taking a few more steps away from the drop until his face cleared a little.

  ‘Jeez, you’re such a nervous nelly. I’m sure you’ve been in far more dangerous positions,’ I said, letting go of his hand and shuffling the little daysack on my back into a more comfy position.

  ‘That’s different. And that’s exactly why I’m nervous. I know what can happen.’

  ‘How is it different?’

  ‘Because it’s you and not me.’

  ‘And?’

  ‘And… it’s not unknown for you to be slightly...’

  I shifted my weight and raised my eyebrows at him. ‘Slightly…?’

  He fiddled with his beanie hat for a moment as he took on the look of a man who suddenly wished he were somewhere else. ‘Uncoordinated.’

  ‘Thank you for your faith in me.’

  ‘It’s not a criticism. It’s an observation.’

  ‘Well, how about you stop observing and go back to doing whatever it was you were doing, because in case you hadn’t noticed, the only time I ever came anywhere near falling off the cliff was when you crept up behind me!’

  ‘Yelling your name three times is hardly creeping up.’

  ‘I didn’t hear you so it doesn’t count.’

  He smirked and rubbed his jaw, catching my arm as I started walking off. ‘Hey.’

  I let out a sigh and turned. ‘Yes?’

  ‘It really wasn’t a criticism. I promise. I’m not doubting any of your abilities or any of the other thoughts careering through that brain of yours right now. People standing on the edges of cliffs always unsettles me a little.’ He pulled the beanie off this time and scrubbed his hand over his hair as he spoke. ‘And when that person is someone I…’ He stopped suddenly, looking past me out to sea.

  ‘Someone you what?’ I asked him.

  ‘Someone I work with,’ he finished quickly. ‘When it’s someone I work with, it makes me nervous. Something happens to you and the paperwork’s going to be a real pain in the arse.’

  I rolled my eyes at him. ‘You really know how to make a girl feel special, don’t you?’ He caught me mid eye-roll and the unspoken thought that both of us knew he did in fact know exactly how to do just that hovered in the air between us. I cleared my throat and unnecessarily readjusted my scarf. ‘Anyway, I was... umm… just heading back in.’

  ‘Good plan.’ He laid his hands gently on my shoulders and turned me around so I could see a huge black cloud rolling in from the sea, heading directly for the island. ‘I’m pretty sure that guy has another delivery of snow for us.’

  ‘Ah! Yes. It does rather look like that, doesn’t it?’ Through the padded thickness of my coat, I could still feel the weight of Hunter’s hands where they rested on my shoulders. ‘How long until it gets here, do you think?’ I asked, turning back as he let his hands drop away.

  ‘We can beat it. You walk pretty fast for a short stuff.’

  ‘You know, I don’t particularly mind paperwork so I’ll happily chuck you over the cliff if you keep it up.’

  His laugh broke the last tendrils of tension before it was carried away by the gathering wind, and he fell into step beside me as we turned back towards the hotel.

  ‘How are your family?’ I asked, hearing the hesitancy in my voice as I did so. When Hunter had accused me of thinking myself better than his mum, it had hurt deeply. I’d loved his family to pieces. It had only added to the emptiness I’d felt that day – not only had I lost the man I loved more than anything, or anyone, but I’d also had to cut the ties to a family who had taken me to their hearts without question, and given me the loving, supportive experience I’d not had from my own. I’d never thought myself better than any of them. I loved them and, in contrast to what he’d accused me of, I admired the hell out of his mum for the amazing job she’d done of raising two boys who had grown up with good values and respect for the world, and the people in it. I desperately wanted to know about them, still missing the contact I’d once had with them. But I wasn’t sure if Hunter would be willing to open that door for me any more. As he’d said back at the cliff top, I was just someone with whom he worked.

  ‘They’re good, thanks. Actually,’ he glanced down at me, ‘I’m an uncle now.’

  ‘You are?’

  He nodded, laughing, a broad smile softening the sharp planes of his face. ‘Jacob has a nine-month-old son and a four-year-old daughter. That was her on the phone back at Heathrow the day we left on the trip.’

  I cast my mind back, remembering the way the tension had slid from him, the genuine smile he’d worn as he’d answered the phone and walked away from me. I’d been sure at the time that his caller was female, but I had to admit, this scenario hadn’t even crossed my mind. He shifted his camera bag higher up his shoulder as we climbed a hill.

  ‘She likes to call when she knows I’m going on a trip to make sure I bring back plenty of pretty pictures for her. She hasn’t quite grasped the concept of commercial photography yet. I always make sure I take some just for her so that when she asks if I took them for her, I can honestly say that I did.’

  ‘D
id you take some especially today?’

  ‘Every day.’

  I grinned up at him. ‘She has you wrapped around her little finger, doesn’t she?’

  He waggled his head for a second. ‘Yeah. Pretty much.’

  I laughed and he shrugged, his face showing that she might well have, but that he loved every moment.

  ‘Bella found out she was pregnant a few months after we broke up. She was pretty upset not to be able to share the news with you. You two had got pretty close.’ Hunter was right. His sister-in-law, Bella, and I had hit it off the moment we’d met and had spoken in some shape or form several times a week. His face clouded for a moment. ‘I’m sorry you lost that friendship because of what happened. Really. I know she wanted to contact you but she wasn’t sure if you’d reply and I think it would have hurt her more if you hadn’t than not contacting you in the first place.’

  ‘Honestly? I don’t know what I would have done. She was caught in the middle. Her first loyalty would be, and should be, to you. I didn’t want to make things any more difficult than they already were so I never picked up the phone either. I still miss her terribly.’

  Hunter slid me a glance. ‘Kind of a mess, huh?’

  ‘I don’t think these things are ever easy.’

  ‘True.’

  We walked a few more steps, each lost in our own thoughts before Hunter spoke again.

  ‘Man, I got some grief from them for breaking up with you.’ His eyes were on the horizon, and his mouth held the promise of a half-remembered smile.

  ‘To be fair, I had quite a lot to do with it.’

  ‘Yeah, I did try to tell them that.’

  ‘How incredibly chivalrous of you,’ I said, my voice flat, but he knew me better and saw the amusement in my eyes.

  ‘I know. It’s all part of my charm.’

  ‘Quite.’

  ‘I guess they were right, though. When I thought about it later, I realised I shouldn’t have just left like that. Taken off to the back of Christ knows where in South America.’