Julian the Mighty

by Joachim Masannek

  “Hang on a minute!” I said with determination. “Let’s think this through. Maybe there’s a better way. Maybe I can be of use to you,” I said with calm desperation.

  I looked at them with promise in my eyes. It wasn’t easy, because I didn’t have a clue what I was trying to sell these bullies, I just wanted to survive!

  Octopus, Grim Reaper, and Kong seemed to think the same. They looked as if someone had just stolen their dessert. That’s how much torturing me meant to them.

  “Well, well, well!” Mickey hissed. “As a matter of fact, there is something you can do for us.”

  “Uh-oh,” I thought. On the one hand, I felt so happy that moment I almost believed it was Christmas. On the other hand, happiness usually doesn’t last, and this was no exception.

  “Money!” he murmured. “Money is scarce around here. I think you know what I mean?”

  I looked at the ugly Graffiti Towers and knew exactly what he was talking about.

  “But on Chicago’s North Side,” he continued, “where you come from, there’s plenty of dough.”

  Kyle’s mansion on posh Woodlawn Avenue immediately came to mind. And Fabio’s castle on 13 Heaven’s Gate. Holy McMansion! What had I done?

  Mickey didn’t share my horror.

  “When parents are rich, kids usually get a big allowance. Am I right or am I right? What if we just make sure that money gets redistributed this way? How about we detour your friends’ allowance from their pockets to ours? You think you can handle that for us?”

  He looked at me expectantly and I swear I was trying everything to show my disgust. I wanted to refuse vehemently, or at least shake my head ‘no’. But my toes, well, I liked them totally located and when they wiggled, they were more persuasive than me.

  Mickey smiled happily, triumphantly. He knew he had won the day.

  “Okay. Deal. Payday is tomorrow night. Don’t be late.”

  He finally let go of me. I didn’t hesitate for an instant and jumped up and started shoveling my stuff back into my pockets. A shadow engulfed me. I stopped dead in my tracks.

  The owner of the pick-up truck stood right in front of me.

  “What are you doing here?” he asked.

  I looked around. The Unbeatables were gone; vanished into the night.

  “What are you doing here?” the driver asked again. “I’ve never seen you around here.” Then his expression softened. “Are you alright? Do you need help?”

  I let out a sigh of relief and my life stopped flashing in front of my eyes. The truck driver wasn’t going to finish the job started by Mickey and the Unbeatables – he wanted to help me! I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t think of a thing to say. But my feet knew what to do. I ran.

  Big mistake. When I charged onto the Prairie, Mickey was there waiting for me.

  “Hold it right there, twerp!” he yelled, and I did. “Tomorrow night! Payday! Don’t forget. If you don’t hold up your end of the bargain, I’ll send the Grim Reaper and Kong and Octopus to show you the error of your ways.”

  I nodded, dumbly, I’m sure, I was so scared.

  “Good night then,” Mickey said politely. “See you at school.”

  Manners were the last thing on my mind. I ran as fast as I could. And for the first time in my life, I wished I were Danny, the world’s fastest midfielder.

  Where Have You Been, Julian?

  When I got home, the first thing I did was hug everyone. Needless to say, they weren’t expecting it.

  “I’m back,” I shouted happily. “Back in the home I love; back with the people I love! Home sweet home!”

  I gave my mom another hug as she was leaving the kitchen.

  My brother Josh looked at me funny. So I planted a big wet kiss on his forehead. And he socked me in the stomach. “Ew!” he shouted, backing away. “Get away from me!”

  But I was so grateful I was alive, I just beamed at my brother like he was an angel. I stuck out my chin. “Put one there if you want, bro,” I said and he didn’t hesitate a nanosecond to hit me a good one. And I went down. For a few seconds, I didn’t know where I was. Then I looked up at my brother and there were two of him!

  “Holy guacamole!” I shouted. “That’s what I call brotherly love!”

  “Are you nuts?!” he said, moving even further away from me.

  I rubbed my sore chin and grinned at him: “Maybe.”

  That’s when Josh looked at his fist, at me, and realized what he’d done. “I’m crazier than you! What’s wrong with you?”

  “Just glad to see you, bro,” I said.

  He must have been embarrassed because he let out a big sigh and stared at his feet.

  That’s when my mom came back in the kitchen. “You’re both crazy, if you ask me.”

  “Julian’s lost it, Mom,” Josh announced, then marched out of the kitchen.

  “Maybe,” I yelled after him. “But can’t I be happy to see you and Mom without getting punched in the stomach and socked in the jaw?”

  My mother sat at the kitchen table and put garlic into the garlic press. She looked at me carefully and then smashed with all her might.

  “Where were you, Julian?” she asked and all I wanted to do was hug her again. I wanted to tell her the truth. I wanted to tell her I was in hell, but I didn’t. If she knew how rough it was out there with those bullies, she might not let me play anymore. No, keeping quiet was the best approach in this situation and that’s how we left it.

  “Out,” I said.

  Same thing happened the next day at school.

  “Come on, Julian, tell me, where were you yesterday?” Roger called out to me. “Dimension 8 is really tough,” he said. After the other day, no one called it Division 8 again. As far as the Wild Soccer Bunch was concerned, it was Dimension 8, because we were so happy it felt like we had all been transported to the 8th Dimension.

  “Everyone else in our division is a year older and most of them are bigger than us,” Roger continued. “Larry had to sign us up in that division so Tyler could play. We need you, man. Without you, our defense is Swiss cheese.”

  The other members of the Wild Soccer Bunch looked at me long and hard. But that wasn’t all. I could feel enemy eyes on me, too, and they burnt like charcoal in a barbecue. Honest, the ground beneath my feet turned hot and it felt as if I was dancing barefoot on hot coals.

  I felt rotten inside, and I know Mickey the bulldozer loved every minute of it. There he was in all his grossness, standing at the edge of the schoolyard, under the trees, leering at me.

  “Hey! You all right?” Zoe asked. It must have shown in my face, but I quickly hid it again. I was humiliated, but I couldn’t tell her that.

  “I’m fine,” was all I said.

  “Really? Well, tell that to your face!” Tyler said.

  But Kevin saw right through me. There was no “Julian, we’re counting on you!” No “All is well as long as you’re wild!” He just looked at me, and I knew he didn’t believe a word I said.

  Man! I was too young to be stressed out. I wanted to tell them what happened. I wasn’t a liar and I sure wasn’t a traitor. I was part of the Wild Soccer Bunch. My friends would protect me. Mickey the Bulldozer could kiss my goal post. That was it; I’d had it. I would tell Kevin and Tyler and Zoe what happened. Yeah, that’s what I was going to do – tell the truth.

  But then I heard a bubble pop. Someone was chewing gum. Mickey. I turned around and there was Octopus, Grim Reaper, and Kong. Like tiger sharks in a kiddy pool, coming right at me. I was about to be in the middle of a feeding frenzy.

  Too Good to Be True

  I got out of there as fast as I could and later, I had trouble concentrating in class and I was really nervous when Danny called a meeting at the break.

  “Larry’s birthday is coming up. Next Saturday, the day of our first game in Dimension 8,” he said. “I think we should all bring our allowance to the Devil’s Pit today. Larry really needs a suit.”

  We didn’t get it. “A dress suit?” J
osh asked.

  “Come on!” Danny moaned. “Don’t you guys know anything about soccer? We have this great uniform with our logo and these bright orange socks. But Larry always shows up in his ratty old street clothes. They’re so ragged you can’t tell his pants from his shirt and his socks are so dirty they stand up by themselves! The coaches of real teams are dressed to kill, and that’s why we should give Larry a suit for his birthday. A sharp suit with a tie with the team colors on it.”

  The other kids on the team loved the idea of getting Larry a new suit of clothes. But I kept hearing Mickey’s voice telling me what he was going to do to me if I didn’t deliver the allowances of all the team members. I couldn’t do that to my friends, especially since we needed to buy Larry a suit. What was I going to do? And just when I thought there was no way out of this mess, I got an idea.

  This time, it was me who hurried Josh to practice. Like a tiger in a cage, I paced our kitchen floor at 44 Dearborn Street. Finally, we took our bikes and raced to the Devil’s Pit.

  We practiced better than we ever had before. Our plan was to counter attack. That’s how Larry wanted to beat the older teams. Kyle, the Invincible, would charge out of his goal and kick the ball way past the halfway line. That’s where Alex the cannon Alexander, Tyler, our number 10, Zoe the fearless, or I, Julian Fort Knox, would control it and pass it to the wings. Our wingers would head close to the touchlines and our forwards would make the run into the penalty area. Danny, our fastest player, would thunder the ball into the net like a torpedo, or pass it to Kevin, the star striker, who would sink the ball into the goal. We also had more options to our attack: Diego, the tornado, or Joey, would come from the right or the left so Fabio, the wizard, would close the deal with a magic play: a bicycle kick into the goal or a double pass with Tyler, that would most definitely bring any goalkeeper to tears.

  We felt like the best team in the world, and even Larry, who would usually ask more and more of us, sat down on the grass and just watched. That’s how happy he was with our performance.

  But I was the happiest of them all. I was one of the Wild Soccer Bunch again and when Danny collected our allowance for Larry’s present, I was sure I would never betray my friends. Never ever.

  It’s time to swear the oath now. Go on, go back to the page you bookmarked earlier, and if you didn’t already do it, do it now. I know you’re skeptical and I deserve it, but I will prove my loyalty to you. Ready?

  Our allowance wasn’t nearly enough to buy a suit for Larry. We were real disappointed for a while. But then I had an idea. We’d collect more money tomorrow. Everyone was supposed to ask parents, uncles, grandmas, grandpas, and aunts for a donation towards the present for Larry.

  “What do you say?” I asked proudly.

  The others looked at me surprised, particularly Tyler, Zoe, and Kevin.

  Then Zoe smiled. “All is well!” she said.

  “As long as you’re wild!” I responded with a laugh, and Tyler lifted his hand for a high five with me. We formed our usual circle, put our arms around each other’s shoulders, and as Kevin looked deep into my eyes, we counted to three and screamed at the top of our lungs: “1-2-3-WILD!”

  Our battle cry was loud enough to be heard through the Grim Woods and across the Prairie, all the way to the Graffiti Towers. That gave me the courage to do what I had to do and go where I had to go: through the Grim Woods, across the Prairie to the Graffiti Towers.

  To Hell and Back

  At home at 44 Dearborn I was really quiet and pretended to be tired. No one was ready for this because I’m never quiet and I’m never tired. Then, when I didn’t bother watching my half-hour of TV before bed, Josh couldn’t take it any more.

  “Mom, I’m telling you, Julian has lost it!” he said as he got up from the kitchen table and turned on TV.

  Usually I would have clipped him for such a remark, but this time I just yawned and stretched, then watched the last few seconds of a Champions League game, my favorite tournament. I’d never missed a single game, by the way. Then I forced a barely audible “nighty-night,” got up as if I was at least a hundred years old, and slouched off to my room.

  I went to bed fully dressed. Luckily, I noticed that my pajamas were still on the chair, jumped out of bed, grabbed them, and stuffed them in bed next to me just before my mom appeared at the door.

  “Phew!” I thought and pulled the blanket all the way up to my throat.

  My mom looked at me with suspicion, but not overly concerned. She was about to leave, but then her worries about me won out.

  “Can I trust you?” she asked and I said, “Of course,” and she said, “No, can I trust you to come to me when you need help?” I swallowed the huge lump in my throat.

  “Sure,” I answered, less sure than I’d ever been about anything. At least I wasn’t lying. My plan was good and I’d make everything right that night.

  “Okay, honey. Good night!” my mom finally said and I knew she believed me. “Sleep well!”

  I waited until she tucked Josh into bed – and sat down at the grand piano. I love falling asleep to her playing. But that night I got up, took my piggy bank off the shelf, and climbed out the window into the night.

  Out in the street, I wrapped my piggy bank in my jacket, grabbed a stone and hit it. It made almost no noise and neither Josh nor my mother could possibly have heard anything. I picked the $42.24 from the shards, stuffed the money into my pockets, poured the shards into the bushes, and was about to run off, when I stopped dead in my tracks.

  In the house across the street, Danny stood at the window of his room and looked directly at me. I jumped behind the bushes and prayed that he couldn’t see me. Then I realized that you can’t see out if you turn on the light at night. Relieved, I came out of hiding and ran off. I ran and ran and never noticed that Danny’s eyes followed me all the way. His window was open, and he saw me clear as day. But I didn’t know that. I ran and ran and didn’t stop until I reached at the other end of the Grim Woods.

  The dark Prairie stretched out before me. I came here often. The last time, just before dawn, was when I’d come to the old house ruins to toss my coin. I dropped to the ground then and spread my arms between my world and the other and tried to see which side pulled my heart more. One thing I never liked doing was crossing the Prairie at night. I’d done it before, but I didn’t like it.

  The tall weeds hit my legs, and I couldn’t help thinking about the rats that reigned there in the terrain, day or night. I knew it would be worse at night because more of them would be out.

  I marched on nonetheless. Thistles clawed at my ankles. Shards of glass crunched under my shoes, and glowing, beady eyes peered out at me from the darkness. The furry things scurried past my feet, chased by naked pink tails. Suddenly the ground around me seemed to swarm with rats.

  That was enough to send me running. Maybe I had been running all along; I can’t remember. Even in broad daylight this place scared me, nothing was worse than the fear that made my heart race that night. The Graffiti Towers loomed menacingly in the blackened sky, and the cars cowered in their presence as if they were the larger, fatter brothers of the rats I had just fled. To keep the fear away, I made up a name for them: R.O.E.S. Rats of Enormous Size.

  Man! What was I doing here!? Why didn’t I just curse Mickey the bulldozer and run off? Not a bad idea, but ideas are easy. Making them work is hard. How do you curse Mickey the bulldozer when he is right in front of you? His flashlight was pointed right at me and blinded me. Truth be told, I was blind with fear when I recognized the shadows of the flies swirling around that monster Mickey: Humongous, Mow-down, Juggernaut, Octopus, Grim Reaper, and Kong.

  “Boohoofrickedydoo!” Mickey murmured. “The dwarf had the guts to show up. I think he deserves a medal!”

  Mickey held his enormous belly as he laughed. I could feel the steam rising inside me. Those morons had tricked me. They never expected me to show up. All my worries, my guilty conscience, my fears, the sense of gloom a
nd impending doom I had felt all day and all night – even my declaration of love for Josh – well, I worried about it for nothing. You know what? I never seem to worry about the things that are happening, only about the things that are about to happen. And what I worried about was as unnecessary as a wart – a wart that grew and grew until it was as big as Mickey’s big fat face.

  “Well, since you’re here, show me what you got!” He grabbed me, whirled me 180 degrees and up into the air, and held me by my feet until all of my $42.24 fell out of my pockets.

  Plink plink plink! The money from my shattered piggy bank scattered into the dirt. “Hey! What do you know? A real treasure!” Mickey was amazed and he dropped me like a sack of potatoes.

  “Octopus! Grab the loot!” he barked. He didn’t talk to me, of course; in fact, he didn’t even look at me. I had ceased to exist, and you won’t believe how happy that made me. I had done it. I had averted danger. I wouldn’t have to betray my friends. I had given these nitwits enough money to satisfy their sickening greed.

  “Let’s go! Move it!” Mickey ordered. “My cousin bought a grocery truck full of goodies yesterday, if you know what I mean.”

  I didn’t know what he meant and I didn’t care. But I would soon.

  The others jeered, and while Octopus waved my money around as if it was my scalp, they marched off. I was totally relieved and even thought for a moment that the Graffiti Towers were a safe place after all.

  But then Mickey turned around.

  “I almost forgot about you! Sorry about that, good buddy!” he purred. “And just so’s we’re clear: I expect another payment by Friday. Three times as much! Got that?”

  “W-what? Are you nuts? Where am I supposed to get that kind of money?” I was appalled. “Forget it. There’s no way I can do it.”