by Kamisa Cole
Or maybe I’d gotten a lot better at ignoring the nagging in the back of my mind. I didn’t know, but it didn’t matter in the end. I heard the whiskey slosh in the bottle, knowing Nash was taking yet another swig, and shook my head, my attention on my coffee as if it would give me all the answers.
“What now?” I asked quietly because it seemed to be the thing to do.
Nash leaned back, stretching his long legs while exhaling. “And now we be brothers… Whatever the fuck that means.”
For us it meant playing video games, sharing tidbits from our lives, and contemplating how fucked up the whole situation was. When I couldn’t ignore all that hadn’t been said between us any longer, I paused the game and nudged the controller onto the full coffee table.
We’d ordered food and had eaten it, both ordering the same meal which had caused us to grin.
“So, Nash, when we sat at the bar and you said you didn’t tell anyone and that you didn’t hear your mother out… Did both of these things change? I mean, clearly you must’ve gone back to her if you know as much as you do now.”
He cleared his throat. “I did, but it took me a week. I…” He rubbed his palms over his face, groaning. “I cried like a kid. Bawled my eyes out at the table while she told me all she knew. She went against the social worker’s orders when keeping tabs on you, you know? And she did it because she thought one day she’d tell me. And she never did because…” He shook his head.
“Because?” I prompted, wondering what she’d told him.
“Because she feared it would throw me into chaos. As a child I might have ended up with tantrums, which she didn’t want, and as a teenager she worried I’d be running away and not coming back. And then after I came out, she didn’t think it was a good time because it might have caused me to think she was homophobic. I don’t know if she’d have been right about any of that, but… Yeah, I don’t know.”
The whiskey bottle was only half empty, and that made me realize we were both much calmer than he’d expected. He’d had time to get used to the thought, but me? I didn’t have that luxury, and yet I wasn’t nearly as thrown as I could’ve been.
I also hadn’t touched any more of the alcohol, my stomach weirdly churning, as if I was missing something else now. “But we were only twins, right?”
Nash blinked, meeting my eyes in utter surprise. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
I shook my head, forcing a grin. “Nothing. I still feel like something’s wrong.”
He spread his arms. “Besides everything? We’ve been lied to for thirty-one years, Kash. You’ve been raised to believe love is matter of choice, and you’re so afraid of it you can’t admit loving Alec. And yes, I heard about that. Cam was on a destructive bender that day.
“I was raised to believe love is unconditional, without limits, but it turns out the truth the is the limit. My parents wouldn’t go further than that, wouldn’t admit to me that I wasn’t crazy in thinking I had a brother. I don’t think much would’ve changed in my life, but yours, Kash? That could’ve been incredibly different. We were in the same fucking city. You and I were so close, they could’ve just brought us together.”
I licked my lips. “Only thing you’re forgetting is… my mother wasn’t the caring type.” And boy, that seemed to have done a hundred and eighty degrees turn since then. “My mother wasn’t the caring type,” I started again, “and most likely wouldn’t have made the playdates or whatever your super-mom would’ve arranged. She fed me, and clothed me, but do you know how many hugs I’ve gotten over my life?”
Nash winced and then reached for the bottle but didn’t unscrew it. “I can’t imagine,” he admitted. “But see… This is where I think everything would’ve been different. Even if Caroline hadn’t managed to bring you over regularly, once we were older we could have still hung out together.”
I snorted. “We couldn’t have been brothers anyway, Nash. Not living under different roofs. Not when everything separated us.” And suddenly I wished it could’ve been different. I wanted things to be okay between us, wanted us to be familiar with each other. Hell, I had a best friend, but I suddenly craved the brother I’d never knew I had.
And that was when I wouldn’t know what to do with a family even if it came with a handbook.
A warm hand came to rest on my arm. “I don’t care how old we are, Kash. We will be brothers now.” His words were wobbly. “It doesn’t matter what else is going on, we’ll be brothers, you hear me?”
I did, and I wanted to believe him. Hell, the way he sat in front of me, a leaner, less muscle-packed version of me, made it obvious we were family, but… My heart didn’t dare to believe.
“What if this is just a freaky coincidence?” I didn’t know why I even muttered those words, but Nash shook his head.
“It’s not, but if it makes you feel better, we can do a DNA test. I’ll be okay with it.”
Closing my eyes, I swallowed, trying to get a handle on the chaos that were my thoughts. Blood didn’t mean I would have a brother until the end of my days. In fact, why would he stick around when I disrupted his life like that? “Maybe we can’t be brothers,” I stated and stood, walking into my bedroom to get my cellphone. It was nothing more than an excuse to get away, but Nash didn’t let me go.
“You know what brothers supposedly are? Annoying. I’ll be your brother whether you want me or not, and I’ll force my attention and family love on you until you realize this is for life.”
I heard his words, but they didn’t register with me. Instead I stared at the screen of my cell. There were no messages from Alec, but ten calls from Gage and several messages demanding a call back.
I lifted my phone to my ear, and even before I could say anything, Gage’s voice came over the line. “I don’t care how much in love you two are, Alec needs to get his ass here, Kash. I swear, I’m going to fire him if this happens again.”
“He’s at work,” I stated stupidly, although he clearly wasn’t.
“No, K-ass, he isn’t, or I wouldn’t be calling. He’s not answering his phone and it pisses me off. I tried Cam but it’s his day off, and he usually spends those fucking someone nice and hardly answers. I need someone in the kitchen, so get Alec here.”
I cleared my throat although it didn’t help. Instead, I felt panic closing it tighter. “Alec left this morning to go to work.”
Gage snorted, but the sound was less mean than he probably intended. “Don’t know where else he works, but he didn’t come here.”
I didn’t wait for more and hung up, dialing Alec’s number.
“The boyfriend… Stay away from my son, ass fucker. He doesn’t want to see you anymore.”
The line clicked, and I knew my decision not to drink had been a smart one, because I’d have to get my boyfriend from his father’s house, and that was best done sober.
“Open the fucking door!” I kicked and banged at it, having gotten Alec’s address from Gage’s files.
“Leave, or I’ll call the police!”
I cursed under my breath. While I didn’t care about the police taking me in again, I was sure they wouldn’t bother checking the house for Alec if they came now.
“We need a plan B,” Nash pointed out, reminding me that having the police there would be even worse than I initially thought. He was slightly drunk, the smell of alcohol on his breath obvious, and I didn’t want him in prison because of me. What kind of brother would I be then?
However, funnily enough I did have a plan B. Starting to walk back to my car, I looked at him. “I’m taking you home or to the club. Your choice.”
“How about I stay with you?”
I shook my head. “I’m going to get Alec out of there.” Because I knew he was in trouble. He’d never stay at his father’s place for this long if he could help it, that much I was sure of. Especially because he’d been finding himself. There’s no way he’d let his father make him move back in the closet.
As if that was possible.
“Kash—”
“No. I mean it. This is not going to be…” I decided at last second to change what I was going to say. “If I end up behind bars, I need you to get me out. That’s what brothers are for, right?” I didn’t know, and neither did he, but when he nodded I still exhaled in relief.
Delivering him and making my way to the back-up plan took thirty minutes. It felt longer and like a waste before I entered the tattoo shop. Jax’s Ink Plays had been easy enough to find, and no one batted an eyelash when I came in.
“Walk-ins might take a while,” the guy behind the counter announced without even looking up.
“I’m looking for Jax.”
This time he did look up and his black hair shimmered green under the lights. “Everyone is, darling.”
I didn’t have any patience left, not for this and certainly not to be called darling. I stepped to the counter and leaned over. “Listen, buddy, I’m not here for ink. I’m not even here for Jax, okay? I couldn’t care less how many people want him. I don’t.”
“Shame. Don’t knock it ’til you try.”
The voice was rough, like years of heavy smoking had taken their toll, and when I turned, I found a man with ink-covered hands and a devilish smirk on his lips. Months back, before Alec, I probably would’ve reacted to his flirting and we’d have ended up in bed together, but now I couldn’t even appreciate the blue-tinged blond hair or the pierced lip. “Jax, I assume? I need your help.”
His expression turned serious. “I have a client waiting for me, but I heard you talk to Denny here, and since I didn’t know the voice…”
“I need two minutes. All I ask is that you get Colt here. He said if I needed his help I should come here and ask for him.” And I needed his help, hoping his bikers would come along to be my muscle. God, I needed to get to Alec and every minute passing was a wasted one. “Please. I’ll fall to my knees if I have to, just get Colt here and tell him it’s Kash.”
It was then the thought struck me that maybe he didn’t remember me, wouldn’t know who I was.
Jax watched me for a long moment, then pulled his phone from his pocket. “Colt, there’s a guy here. Says his name is Kash. Looks like he needs help.”
Did I look like that? Maybe. I wasn’t surprised because I kept flexing my fingers to keep them from shaking.
“Colt’s asking if it’s the boyfriend.”
He remembered. The relief washed over me, nearly making my legs give out. “The father, yes,” I confirmed.
Jax listened for a moment, then hung up. “He’ll be here with a handful of guys in a few. You sit.”
He pushed me back and I allowed it, dropping onto a couch the second my knees hit the edge of it. The tattoo artist sat down next to me while Denny, the guy from the counter, watched me as if trying to figure me out. “Good ink,” he stated when he realized I had caught him staring.
“Expensive, too,” Jax decided and then lifted my arms.
“I’m a security guard. Figured I needed the ink to fill the job description.”
The two chuckled and I couldn’t believe I’d managed to joke when Alec could be hurt, or worse. I didn’t want to think about that though.
It took no time at all before bikes roared and stopped in front of the shop. Colt came in and I jumped to my feet. “What do you need?” he asked.
“Help that I won’t get from the police.”
In two steps he’d crossed the space between us, my collar curled in his fist as he angrily glared at me. “We’re not that kind of biker gang. You’ll need someone else to kill a person for you.”
I shook my head. “I don’t need you to kill the man. I need you there to get Alec out no matter what’s going on, and I need to know that if I don’t succeed in getting the man to stay away, Alec will be protected even if I’m back in custody.”
The grip on me eased. “Are you sure his father has him?”
“Ask me that after I break down McGowan’s door and check the whole house myself.”
KASH
“Open this door, or I swear I’ll break it down.” And we were back for a second round.
Colt and his men stood in a half circle around me, giving me more strength than I ever thought possible from strangers.
“I’m calling the police,” Alec’s father replied.
I snorted. “Do that. I’ll tell them I wanted to get inside because I heard someone screaming.”
There was silence for a long moment, then there was a click. Bastard had probably fastened another lock, which I hadn’t counted on. Hell, I didn’t have any plans beyond getting Colt to join me.
“Step aside,” one of his men said so I did.
He got out a gun with a silencer and, with two well-placed shots, the main lock of the door was no more. There was shouting behind the door, but I didn’t care. A second guy, this one as wide and tall as a mountain, stood by my side and then threw himself against the door twice with full force. It cracked the first time and gave way the second while he just shook it off as if it was nothing more than a tooth pick he’d broken.
“You! I… Get out,” Alec’s father screamed as I walked inside. I zeroed in on him, liking that the men spread out inside, but even before I could say a word Colt touched my side.
“Kash, look…”
I turned, spotting dried blood on the floor in front of the stairs. It could’ve been there forever, but we both knew it hadn’t. “Keep him away from me,” I ordered, then I was up the stairs. I threw open the doors, not caring what I’d find and was glad that there were only three.
“Alec,” I called, ice in my veins. I’d reached the last door facing the small hallway and it led into a completely darkened room. I reached around the door frame for the light switch, glad when my fingers instantly found it.
Only then I suddenly wished they hadn’t. There was a bloody pulp on a bed. You couldn’t describe it as anything else. The face was swollen beyond recognition and I saw fresh blood glittering, as if it hadn’t stopped flowing over his split lips.
I recognized the clothes, but nothing else. “Colt, I need help. Now. And an ambulance.” My voice came out as a croak, but luckily someone had followed me up the stairs.
“You’re in a car. We’ll carry him downstairs and load him up. It’ll be faster that way,” the guy behind me declared. It was the same one who’d shot the lock. His patch declared him as Lead.
“I can’t drive.” And I couldn’t. Not with the way I was shaking.
He nodded. “I know. You also can’t carry him.”
I glanced back at my boyfriend, unsure of exactly where I could touch him. His shirt was torn and so were his jeans in parts, making me wonder what other injuries he might have. “Alec,” I whispered, kneeling next to the bed. I reached for his hand, finding it bruised and bloodied. He’d tried to defend himself. God, he shouldn’t have been here alone.
I didn’t know why he’d done this by himself, or when he’d left my place, but man… I shouldn’t have been out like I was. I kissed his bruised knuckles carefully. “You should’ve taken me along, Baby Boy. Should’ve told me. You… God, Alec, don’t leave me.”
There was a rasping breath and I glanced up. “Alec?”
“B…”
I leaned closer to his lips. He didn’t open his eyes, most likely couldn’t due to the swelling anyway, but his lips were moving.
“Baby Boy.”
I choked out a laugh. “Yes, Baby Boy. My Baby Boy. We’re going to have to move you. It’ll hurt.”
“Hurt…anyway,” he rasped, and I sat back on my heels as Lead crouched down next to me.
“I’m going to carry you, boy, okay? Your man here would only drop you.” He cracked a smile and I appreciated it.
I was even sure Alec’s lip twitched too. “Would…never,” he insisted, and I leaned over, pressing a butterfly kiss to his lips.
“I love you.” I didn’t know why those words left my tongue then, but I realized it was true. I loved him and had for a long time. The
panic I was feeling, the bone-freezing terror, made it more than obvious. “I’ll be there, okay?”
“Kash,” Lead muttered next to me as Alec’s chest lifted in a way that made both of us think he could barely get any air.
“Yeah.” I moved away, my heart hurting as Alec hissed when Lead picked him up. Colt met us at the bottom of the stairs. Two of his men had Alec’s father restrained, and while they looked bored, he kept struggling, his face red.
Colt looked at him while Lead and another of the men made their way outside, my key having changed ownership for the moment. “What are we doing with him?”
Colt grinned. “We have a plan, and no, it won’t involve a body unless Alec ends up dying. I’ll send you a picture. You go be with your man.”
We’d exchanged numbers before leaving Jax’s place, and now I couldn’t wait to see the picture.
I walked out of the house, hoping I’d never have to return to it, and slipped into the backseat with Alec, drawing his upper body onto my lap to hopefully ease his breathing.
Lead took the wheel and the second guy took the shotgun seat, turning to me. “Barrel,” he introduced himself and I nodded.
“Kash. Thank you.”
“You’re good. Question is… Will he be?” I brushed Alec’s sticky and bloody strands off of his forehead, feeling his heartbeat against the arm I had wrapped over his chest.
“I hope so. If I lose him… I couldn’t live with myself. God, I should be making calls. I don’t know… Don’t think we’ll get any information in the hospital. He doesn’t have any other that family I know of, and I’m not… He’s…”
“Breathe. We’ll make sure you’re informed. If he doesn’t have anyone else, you’ll be the person they’ll have to give information to. That bastard didn’t even treat any of the wounds.”
I shook my head, not wanting to look down at Alec again.
I couldn’t, or my heart would break right there and then, sending me into an early grave before I’d managed to save the only man who would ever hold my heart.