Gaining Maisy

by Graystone, Summer

  “Well, Brittany just came down from Chicago and we’re supposed to be leaving for the mall soon,” Maisy said, looking over at Brittany, who came out with a plate of cookies from the fridge.

  “Well, she could join us,” Brittany suggested. “I mean, if the spa wouldn’t mind us squeezing in one more person.”

  Chloe was already shaking her head at the idea. “Nah, you guys should go on without me. I wouldn’t want to intrude on your reunion or anything like that. I mean, you guys have a lot to catch up with already.”

  “Nonsense,” Brittany said as she walked up to Chloe. “I may not know you well, but from what Maisy has told me, I can say you’re her closest friend here. Which makes you my friend, too.” She placed an arm around the both them. “So, we’re going to go to the spa and have ourselves a girls’ day, and maybe at night we can go to the bar and I can see if I can snag myself a guy as hot as Carter.”

  “Carter? Oh, you mean Maisy’s trainer?” Chloe asked as she took a piece of cookie from the plate Brittany pushed towards her.

  “Yeah, and her…” Brittany paused as she took one look at Maisy and realized Chloe didn’t know about her and Carter.

  “Well,” Chloe spoke up, not picking up on the message between Brittany and Maisy, “I can’t say you would find one as hot as Carter, but there are other cute guys here, too.”

  “You know, I think I’m starting to like this town,” Brittany said as the three women walked back into the living room, arms around each other.

  *

  “You should try the grilled chicken,” Maisy suggested to Brittany as they perused the menu at Ralph’s. After their session at the spa, they had said goodbye to Chloe who had work to do, and headed to Maisy’s house for what was supposed to be a short nap, but instead ended up talking for pretty much the whole afternoon. It was now late evening, and they were having dinner alone.

  “Well, it had better be good because I’m really hungry, and I know how that sounds considering what we had for lunch, but hey I missed your cooking. Now I’m almost always eating takeout.”

  “Well, if you had listened at any of the million times I tried to teach you, maybe you wouldn’t be having this problem,” Maisy said as she lifted her hand to tell Gina they were finally ready to order.

  “Why should I learn how to cook when I had the damn best cook I know living almost right next to me?”

  “Well, how’s that working out for you now?” Maisy asked on a laugh.

  “Now, I know I like Chinese, and also pizza, and a glass of wine should be added to gourmet menus in restaurants,” Brittany said, then they both gave Gina their order, both deciding to have the grilled chicken.

  “How early are we supposed to be going for this thing in the morning?”

  “Around five,” Maisy said, then waited for the shocked expression she knew was coming.

  “Five?! Work is the only thing I get up that early for. This guy better be worth it, and he has to take his shirt off.”

  Maisy was about to say something, then stopped as she felt her heart go bump, bump. The way it always did when she saw him, followed by a smile that was special enough for Brittany to have a pretty good guess who it was that had caused that smile. Maisy waved at Carter till he noticed her and then he sauntered over. It was odd seeing him out of the gym, dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans that didn’t do a thing to dim the sheer sexiness of his really ripped body. Maisy so wanted to just reach up and kiss him, not only because she loved the feel of his lips on her own, but so everyone in the restaurant could know he was hers, both male and female, who were looking at him like he was the special on the menu. But not only could she not do that, but he wasn’t even really hers to begin with. This thought was sobering enough that, by the time Carter got to her table, she was able to keep her excitement in check.

  “Hi, Maisy,” Carter greeted, an easy smile on his face.

  “Hey, Carter, what brings you to Ralph’s?” Maisy asked, eyes only for him.

  “Well, I heard the food is great here, and eating is something I’ve learned I need to survive. So here I am.”

  Maisy laughed at his joke, his sense of humor something she always found really amusing. “Very funny, Carter; I thought you guys existed solely on those protein shakes.” Then remembering Brittany by her side, who had stayed quiet all this while, she added, “Carter, I want you to meet Brittany, my best friend.”

  “Hi, Brittany; nice to finally put a face to the name.” Carter held out his hand to shake Brittany’s, who took it and then just held it. Then before anyone could do anything, she quickly tried to wrap her hand around his bicep. Carter looked at Maisy as if to say, ‘Hope your friend isn’t cuckoo.’ But Maisy just stood, understanding that sometimes it was best to let Brittany do her thing.

  “Look, Maisy, my hand can’t even go around it.” She looked at her friend, a look of amazement on her face.

  “Umm…?” Carter asked, looking again at Maisy.

  “ I’m thinking Maisy doesn’t know how to use a camera. Oh, my god, you’re freakishly hot,” Brittany exclaimed as she let go of his arm and took her seat.

  “Thanks?” Carter said, then looked at Maisy. “I guess I should leave you guys alone to your food then.”

  “You here with someone?” Maisy asked, then instantly regretted it. She didn’t want to know if he was here with another woman.

  “No, not really. I came alone, something I realize sounds pathetic now that I say it out loud,” Carter said, a smile on his face that showed he wasn’t bothered at all by that fact.

  “Then how about you come eat with us?” Brittany suggested, ignoring the small kick Maisy gave her under the table.

  “Nah, I wouldn’t want to ruin whatever stories you guys would definitely have to share. Besides, I already have a table.”

  “Then why don’t you let one of those couples waiting at the bar have your table? Besides, I would really love to get to know some of Maisy’s new friends here in Ashborne.”

  Seeing no way out of it, Carter agreed to sit with them. Maisy shifted for him and he took a seat beside her. Then the three of them sat, looking at each other for a few moments before Brittany finally broke the ice. “So, Carter, exactly what magic did you do to get Maisy to lose all that weight?”

  *

  “Today was really fun, wasn’t it,” Maisy said as she and Brittany walked into the house after their dinner at the restaurant. “I really miss you, you know that?”

  “I miss you, too, hon,” Brittany answered as she walked in behind Maisy.

  “So, now that we’re alone, what do you think about Carter?” Maisy asked, taking off her shoes and letting out a sigh as the tension in her calves was eased a little.

  “Well, he’s way hotter than I thought he would be; the guy sure knows what to say and how to say it.”

  “Right,” Maisy said on a laugh, glad Brittany liked him, although she wasn’t exactly sure why that was important. Personally, dinner was the most fun she had ever had with Carter. Maybe it was because this was the first time she had ever been with him in a social setting, the first time they had really sat down to talk. And even though she already liked his sense of humor, the way he talked and the things he said from their conversation on the phone, it was different watching him smile as he said those things, and the way he looked at her when he wanted to tell her something, as if she was the only one in the room. And in those moments, he was the only one in her world.

  “Maisy,” Brittany called her, and she glanced over at her friend, wondering how long she had spent fantasizing.

  “Yeah?”

  “So how are things with you and Carter?”

  “Great, I mean sometimes he can be mean when we’re working out. And sometimes I like it when he’s mean,” Maisy said with a wink, knowing Brittany would get her joke. But rather than the smile she was expecting, what she got instead was a serious expression.

  “I mean really, how are things with you and him?”

  “O
h, you’re talking about the sex thing. Well, who knew spanking would ever be something that turned me…”

  “No, Maisy, I’m talking about the fact that you’re in love with him.”

  “In love with him?” Maisy burst into laughter. “No, I am not in love with him. I mean, maybe I am just a tad bit obsessed with his body, but definitely not in love with him.” But her protest sounded shallow in her ears.

  “Yes, you are, Maisy, I mean, the more you kept on talking about him, I started having my suspicions. Then I saw the both of you in there today and I may not know him well, but I know you, Maisy, and I think you’re in love with him.”

  Maisy said nothing, just looked at her friend. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” she asked again.

  Finally, Maisy said, “Yes, Brittany, yes I’m in love with him and I don’t know what to do because I don’t think he loves me back.” This declaration was said in an agonizing tone, and Brittany opened her arms to hug her friend.

  “How long have you felt this way?” she asked Maisy as she led her to the long couch, grabbing the box of tissues on the table.

  “I don’t know, does it really matter when?” Maisy collected the tissue and after cleaning her nose as best as she could, she sat up and looked at her friend. “What do I do now?”

  “I can’t tell you that, but I know you can’t keep sleeping with him without telling him how you feel about him.”

  “Really, do I have to?” Maisy whined, “I mean, we’re having such a great time, and I don’t think my lady bits mind much that he doesn’t have any feelings for me.”

  “Your lady bits, funny. But I know you, Maisy, and if there’s something I know about you it’s that when you have feelings for someone, you start building up this fantasy and you become so invested in it that you don’t mind what the reality is. Sometimes until too late and, then, well it’s too late.”

  Maisy thought about what Brittany said, knowing that her friend was right and that she really did have to let Carter know how she felt about him. Then a thought occurred to her: what if he loved her, too. He did like her, but what if he liked her enough to want to find out if he had any feelings for her? If she thought about it, they were almost practically dating, at least sort of. They talked lot, and were good at it. They loved spending time with each other. And they had amazing sex and were, well, fucking amazing at it. So she said, “Okay, I’ll do it tomorrow evening.”

  Maisy walked into the gym around eight in the evening. Brittany had gotten a call for a important impromptu business meeting to happen the next day and had left for Chicago that day. Maisy already missed her and wasn’t ashamed to say their parting had been tearful; even Brittany had gotten a little emotional, too. She had been in the gym with Brittany in the morning, and while Brittany had spent the whole time harmlessly flirting with Duke, another of the trainers in the facility, Maisy had put herself through a intense workout session. Mostly because she was thinking of what she had to do when she saw Carter next. Luckily, he had been unable to make it to the gym that morning and the sense of relief Maisy felt at that told her she really wasn’t ready to confess to him. But as soon as Brittany left, it was the only thing she could think about, and the more she thought about, the more the possibility of him reciprocating her feelings sounded appealing and possible to her.

  So now she was back in the gym, earlier than she usually was if she was coming in the evening. A cursory look around the gym didn’t reveal Carter anywhere, so she asked Tracy where he was and was told he was in their section of the gym. She walked to the back of the gym and opened the door, taking a deep breath as she pushed the door open. And felt the pit of her stomach give way, her heart beat a million times faster and the person currently holding that heart grunted as he pushed a barbell up. He was shirtless and the way his muscles danced and moved was one of the most erotic sights Maisy had ever seen. The face above it was the most handsome she had ever seen, and she hoped the man who owned all of that had just an iota of the feelings she had for him. He looked up at her and gave her a nod as he finished the set and returned the barbell to the stand.

  He stood up and grabbed the bottle of water by his side. “Hey, heard you were here this morning. Sorry I couldn’t make it, and it wasn’t because I was trying to hide from your friend.” He smiled at her, and that smile right there did something to her, hit her right in the middle of the chest.

  Unable to help herself, she came right out and blurted it all out,

  “I love you.”

  She clamped her mouth shut after that, then became nervous by the silence. “I mean, I know we kind of, like, agreed that this was just supposed to be a physical thing, and I was cool with that, I swear. Then I don’t know what happened or how it happened, or when it happened for that matter. But I woke up one day and, well,” she shrugged and held out her arms, “I knew I love you. Sounds cliché, right?” She smiled a little.

  Then when he still didn’t say anything she continued, “You gotta say something or I’m going to keep on rambling here. Anything, I swear I would understand if you don’t love me back…” She looked on helplessly.

  “I don’t know what to say, Maisy. I mean, you’re great. You’re beautiful, sexy as hell, and real fun. Any guy would be lucky to have you, any guy would be lucky to fall in love with you.” He looked at her helplessly and Maisy knew, knew before he said it. “But I’m not that guy, Maisy. I’m not in love with you.”

  Maisy heard the words, understood what they meant, and was surprised when her voice came out clearly. “Don’t worry about it, Carter. I understand.” She tried a little smile. “I mean, I know it’s not like you can turn them on or off or anything like that.” She raised a hand when he tried to say something. “Don’t worry about me, Carter, I’m fine. Not the first time I had a silly crush on a guy who didn’t like me back. You should ask Ben in seventh grade, although I don’t think buying you ice cream and letting you copy my homework is going to help me here.”

  “You never know, buying me ice cream just may do the job,” Carter joked, and Maisy laughed at that, although her laughter was a little bit shaky. Then he said in a solemn voice, “I’m really sorry, Maisy.”

  “No need for apologies, Carter. I mean, we’re still good friends, right? And this isn’t gonna change that. Besides, you still haven’t gotten me down to my target weight yet.” Then not knowing why, she reached forward, grabbed his face, and kissed him. Hard.

  And he let her, even kissing her back, the two of them knowing that things were never going to be the same. She broke off the kiss, and with a smile that was the stark opposite to the feelings churning inside of her, said, “See you tomorrow, Carter.”

  Then she walked out of the room, her back straight, and her head up high. As Maisy walked out of the gym she felt her heart break into a million pieces, and at that moment she realized that even though she had thought of the idea of Carter not reciprocating her feelings, nothing could have prepared her for the painful feeling currently going through her. And maybe it was because deep down she had never wanted to entertain the possibility that he didn’t at least feel something for her. At least not with the way they connected, how in sync they were in everything they did. From talking about dumb shit like the color of the rainbows to the amazing sex they had. Maybe in her naiveté, she had thought it impossible to make such astounding physical connections without a sliver of emotional connection. And she was wrong. Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes and she had to take a deep breath as she plastered a smile on her face, walking through the gym, waving at the friends she had made there.

  But as soon as she got into her car, she gave in and placed her head on the steering wheel as she let the tears fall. The ache in her heart was so poignant she felt it physically, and she wondered if she would ever truly recover from this. Unlike her breakup with Eric, where she knew she was leaving behind a scum, an asshole, and a very unhealthy relationship and moving to a future that at the time was at best uncertain, this time she
was leaving behind a man she knew was the best, a relationship that even without officially being a relationship was the best she’d ever had. No future could be better than what she had had with Carter. After a while she raised her head and cleaned her face as best as she could, and even though it didn’t do a thing to lessen the pain in her heart, looking in the rearview mirror Maisy told herself she would use the pain to improve on the one thing Carter had left her, apart from the memories of them together. She picked up the phone and dialed Brittany’s number, silently praying that her friend picked up the call. She needed to hear some words of comfort, and even though she doubted they would do anything in helping to lessen the pain, she still needed someone to tell her she did the right thing. Because Maisy was starting to doubt that she did.

  Maisy didn’t go to the gym the next day, or the day after that, or the day after that. And every time Carter tried to call her his call went to voicemail, Maisy’s cheerful voice telling him to leave a message.

  Chapter 19

  “You look like shit,” Jesse said to Carter as the latter joined him at the bar, the music in the club loud enough that they had to semi-shout to hear each other. Carter wasn’t ready to argue with that statement because he actually did feel like shit. It had been two months since he had seen Maisy last, although he wouldn’t say that Maisy leaving was the reason for the way he felt these days. But if he spoke the truth he started feeling like shit, well, almost two months ago. Two months since she left him in the gym with that declaration that she loved him. Two months of trying and trying to call her and getting her voicemail, which made him wonder why she didn’t just go ahead and block his number. Of course, there was that awful incident when he had used another line to call her and she had picked the phone, her voice sounding breathless for reasons he didn’t know, reasons he had no desire to explore. But it was her voice, and after weeks of calling and praying she would pick up the phone, he didn’t know what to say, had no clue how to start a conversation he had been waiting to have for weeks. So he dropped the phone, and never called her again. He knew she was doing okay, at least if he went by what Chloe said anytime he snuck her into the conversation. And a part of him was glad that she was, but part of him wondered why she wasn’t suffering the way he was suffering. After all, she was the one in love with him.