by Toni Aleo
The horror.
Grinning, she said, “Is he awake?”
“You know he isn’t, knocked out like you always are.”
Lucas gave her a teasing grin, and she couldn’t love him anymore than she already did. He’d been amazing through the birth. Ever so supportive and wonderful. He didn’t even pass out this time! The other two times though, that was another story. Smiling, she mouthed, “I love you.”
His whole face lit up as he leaned over to press his lips to hers. “I love you more,” he whispered against her lips.
Conveniently, Asher woke up and pushed Lucas away before saying, “Ew, gross.”
“You say that now, buddy, but you just wait,” Lucas said with a wink. “Ask Aiden. He loves girls.”
Aiden’s face went deep scarlet before he complained. “Dad!”
Fallon laughed as Emery moved her arms up and stretched while Stella said, “Aw, it moves.”
They all laughed. “It isn’t an it, sugarplum; it’s your sister,” Fallon corrected her, kissing her temple.
“But you like me more, right?” she asked, her big gray eyes locking on Fallon’s.
“No, she likes me more,” Asher informed her.
“Yeah, right. I’m the first and her favorite,” Aiden said proudly, winking at her as Lucas laughed.
“Last time, I checked, I was her favorite,” Lucas offered, causing everyone to laugh and thankfully causing Stella to forget. But as they looked deep into each other’s eyes, they knew the truth.
There was no favorite.
A couple days later…
Fallon laid Emery in her bassinet and picked up a tray of ornaments. Stella, Asher, and Aiden were already at work hanging ornaments while Lucas hung the stockings. Their home was almost fully decorated. Aiden and Lucas had spent the afternoon hanging the lights, while Asher and Stella helped with the inside décor. Sweet Emery slept through most of it, not that anyone was complaining. That girl had some lungs, and Fallon was more convinced that she was her daddy’s girl.
Lucas was leaving later that night for a couple away games, and they wanted to have the house fully done. His mom, Molly, was coming into town in a week for Christmas and to meet her new granddaughter.
“Good job, Stella,” Fallon doted, receiving a huge grin from her. They all talked happily about whatever came to mind as they dressed the tree with mismatched ornaments, but Fallon didn’t care. Each ornament meant something. There were hockey sticks for Lucas, Asher, and Aiden, dance shoes for Stella, and wine for Fallon. Every time they went on vacation, she got an ornament for their tree. They had Disney ones and even Harry Potter ones since Aiden was still obsessed with the popular book series. It was a tree of love, and she didn’t give two shits that it didn’t match.
When they were all done, she smiled as she said, “Okay, here are all y’all’s first ornaments. Let’s hang them.”
“What about Emery?” Stella asked as Fallon handed her her little pink star with her birthday on it and her name in pretty cursive.
“I haven’t made it to the mall yet to have it made. She’ll have it before Christmas. I promise.”
“Actually,” Lucas said, coming to them. “I went and got it for you.”
Reaching into the tray she was holding, he held up another pink star with Emery’s name on it, and for some dumb reason, Fallon’s eyes welled up with tears.
“You did?”
He smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist. “I know how much it means to you to have the ornaments when we trim the tree, so the boys and I went to get it yesterday while you girls napped.”
Looking over at Aiden and Asher, she found them grinning, and her heart felt as if it was going to come out of her chest as she slowly nodded. It was a tradition in her family to always have all the ornaments before you did the tree. She hadn’t even wanted to decorate today, but Lucas pushed her to do it, and she was thankful for that. Wiping away a tear that fell, she shot them all a grin before handing the tray off to Lucas and then getting Emery. Her little eyes were wide as Fallon lifted her up and into the crook of her arm.
“Wanna hang your star, Emery? It’s your ornament for your first Christmas,” she asked as she made her way to where her family stood. Emery looked at her like she was speaking gibberish and spit up a little in response. Lucas reached over and wiped her mouth with a rag before kissing Fallon’s cheek. Meeting his gaze, her heart skipped a beat before she moved toward him, kissing him softly on his lips. Still after all this time, he made the butterflies in her stomach go insane. Kissing her nose as they parted, he held up their first Christmas ornament, and she didn’t think her heart could take it.
There was something about the ornament that made everything inside her go hot. Aiden had been away with Molly for the weekend, and they’d gone out to Gatlinburg for a mini-vacation. After touring the mountains and having a blast, they ended up in a little wedding chapel where they redid their vows, and one of the keepsakes was the ornament. After all that, they went back and had the hottest sex imaginable on the balcony of their huge cabin, the Smoky Mountains behind them as he drove her mad with orgasms. It had been one of her favorite trips to date and still gave her gooseflesh every time she thought about it.
“Our ornament,” she whispered as he handed her Emery’s.
“Yup, it’s my favorite,” he whispered back, kissing her ear. “Or maybe the things we did are.”
She sucked in a deep breath as she nodded slowly. “Yes, I think I have to agree with you on that.”
He shot her a wink before kissing her again. “Maybe once we get these monsters to bed, we can reenact that night.”
She scoffed. “Sorry, buddy, you have a month before you get inside me.”
“What are y’all talking about?” Aiden asked.
“It’s weird; they are gross,” Asher decided.
“I want to hang my ornament!” Stella yelled out, causing Fallon to grin.
Not moving, Lucas whispered, “As soon as I can, I’m going to make you come.”
Her stomach clenched as she kissed his jaw. “Well, Lord knows, I won’t stop you.”
“I figured,” he chuckled, kissing her again before they both looked back at their family. He had a huge grin on his face, and Fallon’s heart thudded in her chest as she took in the beauty of him. He was like the finest wine and got better with age. He was gorgeous and all hers, but her favorite thing in the world was watching him watch his family. He was happy, and it was good to know it was because of her and the kids.
“Okay, guys, let’s finish the tree,” Lucas commanded, and with her new daughter in her arms, Fallon reached out, hanging Emery’s star on one of the branches while everyone did the same. As they all stepped back, Lucas’s fingers threaded with hers as Aiden leaned against her arm, Stella on his hip. Asher wrapped his arms around Fallon’s butt and laid his head on her stomach as she let out a contented sigh.
Christmas was a time for giving, but what else could she ever get?
She had everything.
And then some.
Watching the puck with intensity, Tate Odder was in set position as the Assassins’ defense fought off the Bruins’ offense. When Brooks took the puck up the ice, Tate stood up, shaking his limbs as he continued to watch. At any moment, the Bruins could get the puck back, but they wouldn’t get it past. Not on his watch. When a Bruins player stole the puck and sailed past the defense and up ice on a breakaway, Tate grinned.
Here we go.
He deked left, but Tate knew he would and went right along with him, blocking the puck. To his surprise though, the little shit got the puck back and tried to go top shelf. The crowd roared, thinking their team was going to take the lead, but in a picture-worthy way, Tate caught it in his glove, bringing it in close to his chest, and the crowd wasn’t happy. Tate was though, along with his teammates.
“Way to go, Odder,” his captain, Shea, said as he tapped Tate’s pad. “Great save.”
“Thanks, Cap.”
Handing the puck off to the ref, Tate got back in position and thought about winning.
And not about how miserable his wife was at home.
Surprisingly enough, Tate wasn’t scored on even though he couldn’t push away the thoughts of his wife. Audrey did well hiding her feelings, but he knew how much she was hurting and it was killing him. Any time he tried to talk about the issue, she didn’t want to discuss it because it hurt even more. He knew she felt like she’d failed him, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. He didn’t know what else to do, but one thing was for sure—he didn’t want her to know that he too was miserable.
It was Christmastime, and ordinarily, that was a joyful time of the year. Usually Audrey’s favorite. She made sure to make a big deal about buying presents and decorating. She baked her ass off and made a huge show of some damn elf that sat on a shelf for their daughter, Penelope. Tate didn’t see the point in the stupid elf, but Audrey and Penelope loved her. Because of that, he went along with the games the elf played.
Honestly though, his heart didn’t stand a chance when he looked into his baby girl’s crystal blue eyes or even her momma’s caramel eyes. They were his world and they were enough. He had told Audrey this many times, but she couldn’t accept it. She wanted to give him more children, but unfortunately, they hadn’t been lucky with the whole conceiving thing after they lost the last baby she was pregnant with. He still could hear her cries and it truly killed him. Since then, he hadn’t been able to get her pregnant. She blamed herself, but sometimes, he felt as if it was his fault. He should be able to get a woman pregnant, and he had, twice, but they only had one blessing to show for it. Again, that was enough. He just wished Audrey would realize that.
Leaning back in his locker, he let out a long breath before running his fingers through his too long blond hair. He needed a haircut, but he wasn’t worried about it. On top of worrying about the mental state of his beautiful wife, the holidays were always hard on him. Christmas had always been his family’s favorite time of the year, and knowing they weren’t here to watch Penelope grow almost brought tears to his eyes.
He wished he could shake off all the bad thoughts; he shouldn’t be thinking them, not with Christmas so close, but he couldn’t help it. He missed his family and he wanted his wife to be happy. He just wished it would all go away. He didn’t want to be depressed on Christmas, not with how much it meant to Penelope.
“You’re quiet. You okay?” Lucas, his best friend and his wife’s brother-in-law, asked.
He nodded. “Just thinking. Holidays are hard.”
Lucas moved a towel through his hair before looking over at him. “Yeah,” he said with a nod. “How’s Audrey holding up? Fallon thinks she is lying out her ass half the damn time.”
“Yeah, she is,” he confirmed, letting out a long breath. “I don’t know what to do, honestly.”
“How’s the surrogate thingy going?” he asked, but Tate was already shaking his head.
“It isn’t. She can’t find someone she trusts. It’s insane; I mean, surely they’ll take care of the baby.”
“Yeah, I mean, it worked for Harper.”
“I told her this but she just doesn’t want to pick someone. So I said, let’s do the in vitro. I mean, we’ve already done the drugs and they’ve taken my sperm and her eggs. All they need is to go through with the procedure, but she is scared that it will be a waste of time because they say her uterus is weak. I’m telling you, she wants a baby so fucking bad. And sure, I would love another one, but I don’t want this stress. I just want us to be happy. We have a beautiful daughter. What else do we need?”
Lucas slowly nodded and Tate felt desperate. Lucas didn’t understand any of this. He was blessed with four gorgeous kids and a wife who wasn’t driving him crazy now that she wasn’t pregnant. Audrey was great pregnant, horny as hell and drove him mad with her need for him, so he wouldn’t mind doing nine months of that again. But above all, he just wanted her to have everything she wanted. “I just want her to be happy, and I’ll do anything to get her there.”
“I know, buddy. You’re really good to her.”
Lucas cupped his shoulder as Tate said, “Because I love her. More than anything, and no matter how many times I tell her that, she doesn’t listen.”
“She is hardheaded like her sister. It will work out.”
Tate didn’t think it would, but he nodded and agreed, “I hope so.”
After getting to the hotel later that night, he set his computer up and Skyped Audrey. Waiting for her to answer, he leaned back in his bed and grinned when his beautiful daughter’s face filled the screen. Her dusty brown hair was in curls down her shoulders, her eyes bright as she waved wildly at him.
“Daddy!”
He sat up, waving back at her. “Hello, my sweetheart. How’s Daddy’s girl?”
Her grin was unstoppable as she said, “Good! I made cupcakes today at the shop, and I’m bringing them to class tomorrow.”
“Wonderful, where is Mommy?”
“Right here,” Audrey said, coming into view. Her hair was in a messy bun, her eyes not as bright as he liked, and she wasn’t really smiling. It wasn’t the kind of smile he loved; it was a forced one.
“Hey, baby. I miss you two.”
“We miss you!” Penelope yelled, throwing her arms up in the air.
“We do,” Audrey agreed, her eyes lighting up a little bit. “Great game. We love watching you win, huh, Pennyloo?”
Penelope nodded quickly. “You’re so awesome, Daddy.”
That warmed his heart, but as he eyed his wife, he couldn’t shake the feeling that she had been crying. “Thank you, baby. You are too.”
“Duh! I’m Mommy’s baby!”
Audrey grinned at that, kissing Penelope’s temple before looking back at the camera.
“There is my true smile. I miss seeing it,” he admitted and Audrey looked down.
“Yeah, I need to smile more, huh?”
“Yeah!” Penelope agreed. “I love when you’re happy.”
“Me too,” Tate said as Audrey met his gaze.
“I’ll be happy once you’re home again,” she said, and he knew that wasn’t the truth. “Tell Daddy goodnight and that you love him. It’s time for bed. I let her stay up to talk to you. She missed you today, huh, sweetheart?”
Penelope nodded quickly as Tate said, “I miss you too, sweetheart. I’ll be home in two more sleeps.”
“I can’t wait!” she cheered.
“Me too,” Audrey said with a grin on her face, and he smiled back.
“I love you, Pennyloo, and I miss you,” he said and Penelope giggled.
“I miss you, Daddy! I love you so so so so so so so so so so so so so so,” she took in a deep breath and continued, “So so so so so so so so MUCH!!”
He grinned widely at her before kissing the camera. “I miss you more than that and then some. Now goodnight, sweetheart.”
“Night, Daddy,” she said before kissing the camera and then Audrey.
“I’ll be up in a few minutes, okay? Tuck in all your dolls,” she said and Tate chuckled.
Bedtime was a long, drawn-out process in the Odder household. It took Penelope at least ten minutes to tuck in all her dolls and then another ten minutes of a story before either Audrey or he had to lie with her, talking about their day. She hated to sleep and they didn’t mind catering to her needs. The perks of being the princess in the house.
Once Penelope hopped away, Audrey looked at the screen and tried to smile. “I figure when you get home, we’ll decorate. Christmas is right around the corner.”
He nodded. They had three weeks, but it was coming up quick. “Yeah, usually we are set up after Thanksgiving.”
She shrugged. “Yeah. Just haven’t been in the mood.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, and then he decided he didn’t like this. “Audrey,” he said since she was looking down, picking at her nails.
She glanced up. “Yeah?”
He
was tired of it all. If she wouldn’t do what needed to be done, he was going to do it. He was going to make her happy.
“Make an appointment.”
“Huh?” she asked, perplexed.
“Make an appointment for the in vitro. You want a baby; then we’ll get one.”
“Okay,” she answered and his brows came up.
That was entirely too easy.
“What?”
She smiled. “I already made the appointment yesterday. I just didn’t know if I should tell you because what if it doesn’t stick?”
His brows came together. “So you weren’t going to tell me?”
She shook her head. “I’ve already disappointed you enough.”
Letting out a long breath, he swore he was going to have words with his wife. “I am going to shake you, woman.”
She smiled. “Oh really?”
“Yes,” he said with a nod but without conviction. He wouldn’t lay a hand on her, but he wanted her to know he was annoyed. “You’ve not, in any way, disappointed me, my love. You have been a perfect wife. Great lover and the best mother imaginable.”
Her lips curved as she shook her head. “I’ve only given you one baby.”
“And she is enough, Audrey, honestly. You have made my life twenty times better. I was lost without you. So please, don’t ever say anything like that again, and also don’t hide things from me. I don’t like that.”
“I just want to make you happy,” she said, her eyes clouding with tears. He wanted to be there; he wanted to hold her and reassure her.
Clearing his throat, he smiled. “Audrey, baby, just looking at you makes me happy. You are my everything, baby.”
She smiled as she nodded. “You’re mine.”
“Good, now when is the appointment?”
“Tomorrow.”
“I’ll be there.”
“You have a game.”
“I’ll fly in and fly back out. What time?”
“Eight thirty. Piper is getting Pennyloo and taking her to school since Fallon just had Emery and all.”
He nodded and then promised, “I’ll be there.”