Thomas just nodded. “I told my missus last evening that you were leaving and how much we will all miss you.”
“Yes, I hate to leave, but sometimes life hits you with a curve ball and strikes you out.”
“Well, I don’t believe you will ever be struck out, Mrs. Hamilton. I’m sure all will turn out for the good for you. I will keep you in my prayers.”
“Why thank you, Thomas.”
“That’s a fine group of flowers you placed in the angel’s basket, Ma’am.”
“I thought so, too, Thomas, when I picked them, such a beautiful combination. I hope you won’t mind to water them.”
“I already checked this morning, and they seem fine, fresher than yesterday, it seems. Perhaps they will last as long as the bouquet we picked for you when we gave you the angel statue as a gift.” Thomas paused then added, “I have a feeling they will last a long time as a remembrance of you and your love for nature.”
“That is so nice of you to say, Thomas, but I didn’t place them in the basket for me. I placed them in there for Mr. Hamilton as my thank you for letting me share this beautiful garden.”
“Oh my, Mrs. Hamilton, you truly have such a kindly heart.” Thomas could say no more, as tears welled up. “You have a nice day now, Ma’am.”
“And you, too, Thomas.”
Thomas hummed as he walked off with the shovel he retrieved from the storage shed. Jenny couldn’t help but compare the inner peace and joy of Thomas to that of James.
“One can be a millionaire and not have a cent,” she mused. “Well, Lord, please help me carry into today, the peace you have instilled in me this morning. Thank you, too, for Thomas and all the gardeners, your special workers, making the world so beautiful, feeding our troubled souls with a spiritual sustenance. And please, dear Lord, help me tell Mom about the divorce. Give me the right words to say so she won’t be too upset. She has enough on her plate without adding my concerns and worries to it.”
With that Jenny stood and walked into the house to start packing.
By noon, she had filled several boxes with personal items she didn’t want the movers to touch. One was the large Manila envelope that contained all the notes Henry had written to her and attached to the fence post just outside the front of her parent’s home in Regina. She wanted to make certain that those loving thoughts were never lost.
Jenny surveyed the front living rooms and wasn’t sure what she was allowed to take. She loved the antiques she had collected over the years; several chairs, round tables, Victorian tables with bronze clawed feet. And the dining room set with an accompanying sideboard and curio cabinet with the curved glass door was just so beautiful. It was almost like new. Jenny loved its unique ornate design and rich walnut colour. It was a small set, too small for the dining room of their huge house, but Jenny couldn’t resist. It would fit better into an average sized home.
“I so hope James will allow me to have these antiques. He’s more into modern furniture and glass.” Jenny picked up the phone and called James’ office, again, but as before, James was in a meeting and unable to come to the phone.
Still holding the phone Jenny decided to give Matilda a call. They had become quite good friends and frequently went out to movies or dinner.
“Hello, this be Mr. Hamilton’s residence.”
“Hi, Matti, it’s Jen. I’m going to visit Mom shortly, but thought I would give you a call since we haven’t chatted for a few days.”
“Oh, Miss Jenny, you brighten up my day just to hear your voice. How is Mrs. Sarsky doing?”
“I saw her last night, briefly. She isn’t doing that well, her liver is failing, but her sense of humour is one hundred percent.” Jenny chuckled.
“Well, you be giving her a hug for me and that I say an extra prayer for her when I talk to the Boss tonight.”
Jenny laughed. “I was packing all morning and will be leaving the estate in a day or so. I called James at the office to ask if I could take the antique furniture, but he was in meetings.”
“Meetings! Huuumpt! Him and his meetings and activities. He best be giving you that fine furniture. Never in all the years I be there did I see the man sit on one of them beautiful chairs. He never was one to see beauty under his nose. Oh, I’m sorry for going on so, I’m still upset at the two of them hootin’ and hollering and laughing over the court happenings yesterday. Sounds like the settlement be favouring them?”
“Yes, Matti, James and his lawyers are very skilled at making money, retaining it and amassing more. But money isn’t everything and it can’t buy happiness.”
“Seems to me the more you got, the bigger are your headaches. Maybe that’s why Mr. Hamilton be walkin’ around ready to explode all the time. Oh, here I go fussing again, Miss Jenny. I jus be so sorry to see you leave that beautiful estate. I know how much joy the garden has given you.”
“Yes, I will miss that for sure, Matti. And I wish now that I am officially off the premises, that you start calling me, Jenny, or even better yet, Jen. I recall you saying once how much you like being called Matti as opposed to Matilda, that there is more affection surrounding the nickname. And after all, Matti, we have become such good friends.”
“That be true. It was a big step to go from calling you Mrs. Hamilton to Miss Jenny. Now to go another step seems to me I would be losing something special.”
“What do you mean, Matti? To me it would be more special, wouldn’t it?”
“Here’s how I see it. If I call you Jenny, it be like all my friends. But I never want to forget that someone as gracious, kind and important as you is my friend…”
“Now Matti,” Jenny cut in, “What you’re saying is that you consider me being more important and better than you and being my friend makes you feel better about yourself and more important, too. And by calling me Miss Jenny it helps to feed into that kind of thinking that separates people from one another, especially true friends.”
“Now Miss Jenny, you be seeing into my heart…”
“No, Matti, I’m seeing into your mind. But it’s your heart I want to be in.”
Matti remained silent and Jenny continued. “Take your sister Coreena, for example. You love her and think of her as your equal. You feel completely comfortable around her and would never think of addressing her as Miss Coreena, would you?”
“Heaven forbid, no! She already be thinking that she’s God’s gift to mankind!” But Matilda quickly added, “But you be different, Miss Jenny!”
“But that’s just the point, Matti. I don’t want to be different. I don’t want you to put me on some kind of a pedestal; I need a friend, Matti. A real friend…a sister friend, just like… like…Tammy was…”
Jenny’s voice trailed off into a long silence on the phone. Jenny hoped she didn’t offend her friend. And then Matilda spoke the most beautiful words that Jenny ever heard.
“My sweet Jesus and me know what you be sayin’ is the gospel truth. But never in my lifetime did I ever think I could be living it… Jenny… you truly be my friend and I love you just as if you be my sister.”
Once again there was a long silence. Long enough to swallow the erupting tears of heartfelt joy and true friendship.
“Talk to you tomorrow, Matti.”
“I be looking forward to it… Jen.”
Chapter Eight
It was early morning and Henry was glad that he had decided to take the day off. He took in a deep breath of fresh air as he stood on the deck overlooking the valley. Everything looked so green and peaceful and helped dissipate the confusion and turmoil he was feeling. It was a beautiful summer day and he just wanted to spend some time alone, maybe work on the painting he had started and take the dogs for a walk. He might even spend some time in the prayer house by the side of the pond that was fed by a meandering creek through the valley bottom.
He loved the reflection of the pray
er house. He felt twinges of guilt that he hadn’t used it since he built it the summer after Julean died. It was intended to provide solace and meaning, but instead he had immersed himself in his work and property development, finding it too difficult to spend much time alone. It was a good thing Father Engelmann was making use of it.
Perhaps, some day…
Henry placed his left hand into his trouser pocket and searched for Julean’s rosary. Even more than repeating bible passages, saying the rosary was the one thing that helped him to cope with his loneliness and the aching longing for his dear, sweet wife. It helped that it also drew him closer to the Holy Mother. Henry identified with the deep sorrow she must have felt when her son was crucified, and he knew the Blessed Mother understood his sorrow over the passing of his beloved, as well.
He always admired the love and close relationship Julean had with Mary, the mother of Jesus. It reminded Henry of what Father Engelmann always said: that we each should strive to be examples of strong faith so as to instill hope and faith in others. Henry could now see that in himself through Julean’s example. In witnessing her strong faith, he had grown closer to the blessed Mother and Jesus, as well.
Henry began to recite the rosary as he turned and sat down in his favourite chair next to the window overlooking the valley. The letter Julean had written to him before she passed away lay open on the end table. He picked it up and marvelled how it came to him in much the same way Jenny’s last note did when his life looked so bleak and dim.
Two weeks after Jenny’s departure he had found a note attached to the fence gate leading to her house. It was a godsend! To this day Henry believed it was their guardian angels that protected the note from winds and rain until he was led by them to find it.
For years after that moment he had read it over a thousand times and more as it was the only way he could sustain himself and help him cope with the days and days of silence that had followed. He pictured the note now as if it was yesterday and as he gazed out into the valley he whispered Jenny’s tender words once more:
“Oh, Henry,”
My heart just aches and I feel like it’s being torn in two. Being with you has made this the happiest summer of my life. The thought of not seeing you anymore is more than I can bear.
Always remember:
True love lasts forever, it never says goodbye, for you and I have a guardian angel on high with nothing to do but to give to you and to give to me love forever true.”
Jenny
P.S. If you were a heart, I’d want mine
To beat inside yours.
Henry remembered how consoling the note was, as if she were right beside him each time he read it. He could hear her singing the words from their song, True Love. And as he hummed the words…“For you and I have a guardian angel on high with nothing to do but to give to you and to give to me…” thoughts of Julean entered his mind. She had asked him to promise that whenever he sang or heard that song to make her a part of it, too. Julean knew that it was the song that Henry and Jenny shared. Julean wanted to be remembered as his one true love as well as Jenny.
Henry shook his head, amazed at how Julean had always known about his undying love for Jenny and how she supported him even though it took love that belonged to her away from her.
“Oh Julean,” Henry whispered, “your love for me was so great that you sacrificed your own happiness so that my heart could be appeased.”
Henry marvelled at Julean’s acceptance and understanding of this almost unbelievable connection that simply would not go away. Julean understood the supernatural nature of it all.
Unbidden tears came to Henry’s eyes as he thought about his two loves and how similarly both had reached out to him when he so needed them near. Just like the note Jenny had left for him on the fence post, incredibly Julean had left a letter for him, as well. It came right when Henry felt he could no longer go on.
Staring at Julean’s letter in his hand, Henry shook his head as he recalled how the angels once again had come to his rescue…
Almost a year after Julean’s death, while things appeared to be returning to normal in the Pederson home, Henry’s heart was filled with such a deep loneliness. Making peace with John McBryne, the man responsible for his wife’s death and the kids adjusting to their mother’s absence definitely helped, but the aching and longing for Julean overwhelmed him so much that some days he didn’t want to get out of bed or live for another day. Even Father Engelmann’s friendship, guidance and wisdom-filled words provided little solace for Henry. If it had not been for the warm touch and love he felt from Julean’s rosary, he would have died.
On the day that life no longer held any hope, he received a phone call from a nurse who had been on duty during the last days of Julean’s illness before her death. Henry wiped away a tear rolling down his cheek as he remembered the call from that dear nurse once again:
“Is Mr. Henry Pederson in?” asked the soft feminine voice.
“Yes, I am Henry. What can I do for you?”
“My name is Susan Miller. I’m a nurse at the Pasqua Hospital and I have something for you. Something I was supposed to give you from your wife.”
“You must be mistaken, Miss, my wife passed away over a year ago…”
“Yes, I know. But let me explain. I was on duty during the time your wife was critically ill. She awoke one night while you were sleeping on the cot next to hers. She said she was dying and was afraid that she might go into a permanent coma and not be able to tell you what was in her heart. She refused to wake you at the time knowing how exhausted you were. She had written you a letter and gave it to me with the promise that I only give it to you should she die. I took the letter and placed it in my locker. The next day, I was transferred to another ward. I checked on your wife’s status for a day or two after that but then got so involved with the patients and work in my new position, I forgot all about your wife and the letter.
“A day ago I spoke with a colleague of mine who frequents your café and mentioned how unfortunate it was that your wife had passed away. It immediately brought to mind the letter and I hoped I still had it in my locker. Sure enough, under all the papers and reports that I had to fill out, there it was. So, this is the reason for my call. I would like to fulfill my promise to your wife and give you the letter that she wrote to you.”
Henry recalled that he couldn’t speak for the longest moment. His heart nearly stopped, his words caught in his throat. A surge of much needed joy filled his being and his spirits soared like an eagle high into the prairie sky. He immediately rushed to the hospital and picked up the letter. He had the nurse go over the conversation she had with Julean, wanting to remember and savour every word his dear, sweet wife had uttered.
From there he went directly home and just like the time he took Jenny’s letter off the fence post and sat on the front steps of her parents home, Henry sat in the chair in front of their farm home next to the one that Julean had always sat in when basking in the sun. Henry recalled vividly that first day he had opened and read the letter:
My dearest darling, Hank
I see you sleeping on the cot beside me and I long to be in your arms. I do not know what the future holds for me. But I know how this disease works especially the bacterial kind and I could slip into a coma at any time. For this reason, I want to write a letter to you in case I cannot share my deepest innermost thoughts and feelings.
My dear sweet Hank, you have made my life so complete and all my dreams come true. Each and every day is so exciting and an adventure living with you. You are a good man Hank, solid and true. You have always reminded me of my Uncle Jacob.
It is good for you to know that I am aware of another love in your life. I have known it from almost the beginning of our relationship. The look in your eyes and your momentary flashbacks of memories that took you from me were the first clue. But it was on the day we wed that very
first night together our marriage was conjugated that you introduced me to your first love, Jenny in your dreams. And from that time until to this very day I have shared my life with her and you.
For many women this may be hard to understand and accept how I have allowed this. For sure, it is my background in which I have seen other women share the same man that has helped my understanding. But most of all it’s your faithfulness, strength, love and commitment in our marriage that has filled my heart to such overflowing that it gave me the strength to allow your sweetheart into our marriage. For all the joy and happiness you have given me, it was very little in comparison that I could give to you in return.
Please do not feel guilt or shame for harbouring such thoughts. I understand how this can happen and if you need my forgiveness I give it to you from the bottom of my heart. If this disease should take me home to Jesus I want you to feel free to marry again. You are such a good man and should not be alone. You have too much love to give and it is good for the children to have another mother in the home. When I go to heaven I will ask the good Lord’s permission to guide you to another love and perhaps the girl of your youth is waiting for you. I pray that this is the case and I will do all I can to bring her back to you.
I feel so tired and sleep wants to overtake me and so I just want to share one more thing. I know that True Love is a song you and Jenny shared. When it plays, I see the love in your eyes and the joy it brings to you. That is why I bought the record so you can freely listen to it with my approval. I only ask that you make me a part of that song when you hear it. That I am part of the love you feel and that it brings memories of me into your heart, as well.
And lastly, one evening before I met you I heard Elvis Presley sing True Love on a TV show that was being shown all the way from Germany when he was in the army. It was followed by another song that captured my heart and I knew someday that a man would come into my life who would love me tender, love me sweet… make all of my dreams come true. And you have, my dearest darling…. you have.
The Angelic Occurrence Page 10