The Redemption

by S. L. Scott

  I push past him and head for the dressing room, the anger hitting its stride by the time I open the door. “Rochelle?” I hear Dex calling my name, but I walk past Johnny and Kaz, and grab my bag from the floor.

  When I turn around, I run right into Dex’s chest, his arms around me again and I’m suddenly all too aware of the other guys watching us.

  Johnny stands. “What happened?”

  Feeling my face heat from them being privy to the intimacy between me and Dex, I free myself. Just a glance at Johnny, then to Kaz, and I see the expressions on their face, the disapproval on Johnny’s, confusion on Kaz.

  “What the fuck, Dex?” Johnny asks—protective brother voice in place as he straightens his shoulders back.

  I try to ease things between them before I leave. “It’s okay, Johnny. He didn’t do anything. It’s me. I just need to go. I’ll see you back in LA.”

  “Rochelle? Wait up,” he says, catching up to me in the corridor.

  “Dude, really. I’m okay. I just don’t want to be here right now.” I see Dex out of the corner of my eye, Lara just beyond him coming inside with Kaz. “I’ll be fine. I’ll see you at home.”

  Johnny nods, knowing when to back off. “Be safe.”

  “I will.” I walk in the opposite direction, leaving them all behind. With a quick glance back over my shoulder, the scene fades to black as I focus ahead of me.

  As I pack my clothes, a light knock on the hotel door makes me pause and sigh. I’m guessing it’s Lara or Dex. I’m hoping it’s not Johnny. He sees right through me and I don’t have the energy to lie to him.

  When I open the door, Dex is there. I smile automatically while leaning against the wall. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be out partying after the show?”

  “I didn’t want to go.” An urgent kiss lands on my lips, the sweet pressure trapped between desperation and passion. I find the line often blurs when I kiss him as well. “I don’t want you to go either.” Sliding my hands down his arms to his wrists, he lifts them to caress my neck. “Sometimes we’re assholes. It was Kaz’s turn tonight. I’m sorry.”

  “I know he didn’t mean it, but when he said it… I don’t know anymore,” I say, shrugging. “I don’t want him forgotten.”

  “He won’t be. He’s a legend, Rochelle.” His lips replace his hands on my neck. “But let’s leave all that for now. Right here together, we can be us—no baggage, no past, no witnesses. Just us, here together.”

  I kiss him, needing him close. When our lips part, I look into his eyes just as he opens his. I whisper, “No past. Just us with no judgments or expectations.”

  He kisses me again, then says, “Back in LA, we have to be responsible and do what’s right. Once there, we can go back to square one, not for me, but for Neil and CJ. We’ll start over, the way we should have two years ago.”

  “You’re okay with that?”

  “No,” he replies, making me laugh. “But I’ll do whatever it takes to spend more time with you. Anyway, your boys seem pretty cool. I mean Neil is named after one of the best drummers in the world, after all. The kid can’t be that bad.”

  I giggle, the lighthearted moment easing the heavy from before. Dropping my forehead to his chest, I ask, “What about tonight?”

  “Tonight, you’re mine.”

  Is this too much too fast? Am I the only one who’s concerned about what the future holds? “Are you worried?”

  “Shit yeah, I worry. I worry that this may be the last time I get to kiss you or feel your breath on my skin. I worry that I’ll never get to hear your heart racing because you’re near me. So yeah, I worry. But tonight, let’s not talk about tomorrow or what happens after. Let’s just live in the here—”

  “Live in the now.” I pull him inside by his shirt and let the door slam closed, deciding to do just that. I kiss him again and again while walking backward into the room, leaving yesterday to the past and tomorrow to be dealt with another day.

  We tumble onto the bed, our bodies entwined, his lips pressed to the skin of my collarbone. With one knee between his legs and his knee between mine, we move together in a flurry of overdue movements. I tug at his collar, trailing kisses across his shoulder. His strong hands flex and grip as he holds me at the waist and slides them up, his thumb rubbing gentle circles against the side of my breasts.

  He moves on top of me, his erection against my stomach, his lips finding and caressing mine. Breathless, I drop my head back. “I want you. I want you so much, Dex. So much.”

  His hands stop flexing, his lips stop kissing, his body stills while his breathing remains jagged over my cheek. I’m about to say something just as he pauses and looks away. His fingers tap lightly across my ribs and he leans down to whisper, “You deserve more than this.”

  “No.” I release my breath and hold him by the jaw, making him look at me. “I’m good. This is good. The here and now, remember. Tonight is all that matters.”

  “Rochelle, you deserve dates and flowers, romantic dinners, and for me to show you that I’m good enough to spend time with your family.”

  “You’re good enough, Dex. It wasn’t about you not being good enough for me or my ki—” He kisses me, ending my plea. As soon as our lips part, I continue, “Kids. So please don’t think otherwise.”

  Chuckling, he runs his finger down my nose and lingers on my lips, stopping me from talking. “Here’s the truth of the matter. If we do this… again, there’s no going back to square one tomorrow. Not for me. I won’t be able to act like I don’t care about you, like I haven’t thought about you every day since we were together last. So it’s easier to stop now than later.”

  With a discouraged sigh, I say, “You’re stronger than me, Dex.”

  “No, I just know my greatest weakness is the woman beneath me right now.” He rolls over sighing in a way that shows frustration has set in. Turning his head to me, he says, “I want to fuck you so bad, but I also want to do all that making love stuff too. And if we do that, I can’t pretend it didn’t happen.” He sits up and walks to the other side of the room, leaning his back against the wall.

  I prop myself up on my elbows, caught by the heaviness of the emotions I’m suddenly feeling for him.

  “Go to sleep tonight. Fly home tomorrow.” He walks into the shadow of the entryway. “I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

  I hear the door open as I fall back on the bed, my own sexual frustration setting in. But just when I hear the door close, the weight of his body lands on top of me and he kisses me hard. Surprised, my eyes fly open, but then I go for it just like him and kiss him back with just as much passion. He pushes off of me again and stands between my legs. “I make very few promises in life, but this one I can make to you. Rochelle Floros, I’m coming for you. It’s our time, so get ready for me.” He turns abruptly and leaves me sitting there stunned… and tingly… and then smiling, my heart full of happiness and so much more for that man.

  Lara came back to the room this morning and found me asleep. She’s been giving me a hard time on our morning flight back to LA ever since. “That grin on your face sure was unexpected.”

  “I wasn’t grinning. I was sleeping.”

  “Well, whatever you were dreaming about had you smiling like a fool in your sleep.”

  I roll my eyes. “And what did you do after the concert last night?”

  She looks away briefly before she says, “Met some friends at the bar downstairs. Once you texted me you were going to bed, I thought it best not to bring the party up to the room.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Now what brought on that smile? It was polar opposite of what I expected to find when you left the show.”

  I figure the truth will hush her up. “I had three orgasms last night.”

  Her eyes go wide. “Eh, er… wow. Umm, okay. Huh.” She adjusts in her seat and says, “I’m impressed. Did you have these on your own or did someone special, someone like Dex, induce these?”

  �
��All on my own.” I just don’t mention that Dex was the inspiration behind each one. Seems every time I close my eyes, I can still feel his lips on me and the gentle sucking he did to my collarbone.

  “Ew, are you gonna cum again right now? Wipe that expression off your face.”

  I burst out laughing and slap her arm. “Stop teasing me. You wanted the truth. Well, you got it.”

  “I love a great masturbation session.”

  “Oh my God, keep your voice down, Lara.”

  An older woman in the seat in front of us peers back through the crack between the seats. When my eyes meet her judgy ones, she frowns and turns back around quickly.

  Lara shrugs not caring if she’s heard by everyone on the plane or not. “Wouldn’t it be hot to have sex with the pilot while he was flying the plane?”

  Shaking my head, I say, “I’m not really partial to planes.”

  Her hand covers mine on the shared armrest. “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “So maybe you’re more a mailman type of gal. You know, a guy who can really deliver his package?”

  My head goes back and I scrunch my nose. “What 80’s porn have you been watching?”

  “Not porn, just my imagination… Okay, some porn, but we all watch porn every now and then.”

  “Maybe I should watch some,” I say, actually considering the idea.

  “If you had three orgasms all by yourself, I don’t think you need porn. Your dirty thoughts are good enough.”

  “I have some good references.”

  She leans closer. “Do tell.”

  “No, I think I’ll hold onto them a little longer.”

  “If it makes a difference, I saw how Dex looks at you over the last few days. You could have him if you wanted.”

  Looking out the window of the plane into the great blue yonder, I reply, “It makes all the difference in the world.” Three more hours on the flight left to go, so I lean my head against the window and close my eyes. “I’m gonna try to get some sleep.”

  After thanking Janice for keeping my kids, I drag my suitcase into the bedroom. The boys follow me in and we all lay on my king size bed together, cartoons on the large flat screen hanging on the wall. Despite that they were engrossed in the show, I’m instantly smothered in kisses and hugs and I love it. My boys take the opportunity to bounce on the bed, and despite the no jumping rule usually in place, I let them. Their happy faces are worth the potential for broken springs.

  “Mama, I love you,” CJ says, and I grab him mid-jump and snuggle him to my side.

  “Come here, buddy,” I say to Neil.

  He bounces to his knees and then drops to my open arm, which I close around him. I kiss each of their heads and smile. “I missed you guys so much. Did you miss me?”

  “Yes,” they say in unison. Then Neil adds, “You were with Uncle Johnny on tour?”

  “Yes,” I reply, wanting to reintroduce them to Dex soon hopefully. “And Dex, the drummer. Do you remember him?”

  “He gave me the drumsticks.”

  “Yes, that’s right.”

  “I don’t member,” CJ says.

  I rough up his hair. “You’ll see him soon and you’ll remember. You’ve met him many times.” I reach over and declare, “Ticklefest.”

  After lots of giggles and catching up on their days while I was away, I start dinner. I want to make something that shows how much I love them, warming their souls while filling their tummies. I decide on homemade lasagna, which they devour, making me happy. We read books and then I tuck them in.

  When I lay down in my bed, I turn on the TV. My mind drifts away from the match-making show and I think of Dex, wondering what he’s doing tonight. It was a travel day for them and no performance, so I don’t know if he’s going out or staying in and resting up. It makes me realize that I don’t really know him—his habits, his hobbies, his routine—at all. But I want to and this time I don’t feel bad for that.

  I roll to my side and smile before catching up on the show, my nightmares a little less this night.

  Why does a simple text seem monumental right now? This should be easy, I tell myself as I pace my kitchen. Looking down at the phone in my hand, the screen glows bright white waiting for me to type something. I feel like I’m asking Dex out on a date. Wait, am I? What seemed like a casual get-to-know-you-better plan has suddenly turned into a big date. Oh no. I turn my phone off, not ready for this at all.

  Two hours later while lying on the couch, I kick my feet up on the arm and go to my message app again. This time I’m determined. I start to type: Hi Stranger, just wondering if… Ugh! Delete. Delete. Delete. Stranger? Really? Ugh!

  Hi, hope you’re doing well. I know you probably need some down time when you get home next week, but I was wondering if you want to come over for a meal. I can cook for you. I’m sure it’s been a while since you’ve had food not delivered by room service. I’ll deliver it to the table though and all you have to do is show up. We can hang out, maybe play a board game with the boys. Tag is also a big favorite of theirs. Anyway, let me know.

  I hit send before I can chicken out. Staring down at the rambling message, I’m so embarrassed. If there was a way to take that back, I would.

  My phone buzzes in my hand when a message appears. It’s a lot sooner than I expected. Long time, no talk, Stranger. It’s good to hear from you. What day?

  I laugh at the ‘stranger’ then type: You get back on Monday. How about Wednesday?

  Dex: How about Tuesday?

  I might be blushing that he wants to see me as much as I want to see him. Tuesday is great.

  Dex: What time?

  Me: 5 p.m.?

  Dex: I’ll be there.

  Me: See you then.

  Dex: Feel free to text me anytime, dollface.

  Dollface? Now my cheeks really heat. Me: Text soon, champ.

  Champ!!! What the hell am I doing? He’s making me senseless.

  Dex: Lol. Okay, champ is interesting…

  Me: Ignore me. Just carry on with your day like that never happened.

  Dex: I’ll try, but it’ll be hard.

  My eyebrows rise up when I read ‘It’ll be hard.’

  Dex: Did I just type that?

  Me: You did.

  Dex: I’ll forget about champ, but you need to forget about things being hard over here in Dallas.

  Me: Now that will be ‘hard’ to do.

  Dex: Are you sexting me?

  Me: You’re the one sexting I believe. You started it first.

  Dex: I’ll be happy to finish it too. See you next Tuesday.

  Me: Another funny. Like C U Next Tuesday.

  Dex: Let’s stop while we’re a’head’

  Me: You’re right. Stop.

  I laugh and set my phone down on the couch cushion next to me, but it buzzes again. I look at the screen and read: Just in case I wasn’t clear, I’m really looking forward to seeing you again.

  Me: Me too.

  Once again, I find myself pacing in the kitchen, nervous. I’m roasting a chicken and I don’t even know if Dex eats meat. How have I known him this long and I don’t know if he eats meat or not. I think he does, but it’s been a long time since we had a proper meal together. What if he’s gone Vegan in that time? I poke the parsnips with a fork to check for tenderness and then decide that I should make a salad. It’s a healthy meal all around and if he’s gone Vegan then he’ll have the two sides, at least.

  The doorbell rings and the kids go running. I throw the fork on the counter and dash for the door, hoping to beat them to it. Dex knows the code to the yard gate, but I still want to be the one who greets him. “Wait, wait, wait. Let me answer it.”

  The boys stop and let me in front of them. I take a deep breath and straighten my shirt before opening the door. “Hi,” I say a little breathless. I’m hoping he thinks it’s sexy. Though I was expecting him, I’m still caught off guard by how attractive he is. I waver a bit, grasping the doorknob tightly to gro
und me.

  “Hi,” Dex says smiling at me. He’s holding a bouquet of flowers made up of lilacs, peonies, and miniature white roses. “These are for you.” Leaning in, he kisses me on the cheeks. “You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you,” I reply, impressed by the romantic gesture and look away as I feel my cheeks heat.

  Turning back to his touch, his hand rubbing my arm, I see he has come bearing more gifts. He whips out some Fun Dips for the kids, shaking them in the air. “Brought these too.”

  “Yay!” The kids jump up and down in excitement, snatching them from his hands.

  “That was nice,” I say, then turn to the kids. “You can have them after dinner. Not before.”

  After a round of disappointed grumblings from them, Dex says, “No biggie.”

  “I’ll let you deal with the sugar high later.” With a laugh, I turn and nod toward the kitchen. “Come on in. I need to check on the chicken.” But I stop and turn around abruptly. “Do you eat chicken? I don’t even know if you eat chicken.”

  “I eat chicken.” Relieved, I start back to the kitchen, but he stops me and takes my pinky, and says, “It’s good to see you again.” Slowly tugging me closer, he wraps his arms around me and hugs me.

  I relish the closeness as I wrap my arms around him. “It’s good to see you too. Thanks for coming over.” I hear him gulp and I gulp in response, but his arms around me feel too good to get hung up in the newness and unknown of what’s ahead for us. So I take a deep breath, breathing him in, and smile. “You smell good.”