Trying to Score (Assassins)

by Toni Aleo

  “’Cause I don’t fucking want it! I don’t want you to think that you have helped me, that you have bought my forgiveness! I don’t want it!”

  Lucas shook his head. “Believe me Fallon, until I hear you utter the words that I am forgiven, I won’t think that. Cash the fucking check, it’s for our child.”

  “My child does not need it, and you need to lower the monthly payment. It’s too high. We don’t need all that.”

  “Our child does need it; he will have the life I never had.”

  “This isn’t about you!”

  Lucas laughed, shaking his head. “You are right, and it isn’t about you either, but for some reason, you continue to make it about you.”

  “I do not!”

  “Fallon this whole argument is about how you don’t want me to think I’ve helped you, when all I want to do is help my child. Stop being difficult and cash the check for our son.”

  “No,” Fallon spat.

  Lucas went towards her, backing her into the wall. He sandwiched her head between his hands and got close to her face, looking her in the eyes. “Listen to me, Fallon. Cash the fucking check or I will take you to court and take Aiden away. If you won’t let me give him what is owed then I will do what needs to be done for my son.”

  Fallon gasped as he continued to look her deep in her eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I want to be civil but if you don’t work with me on this, my hands are tied. Cash the fucking check.”

  “Get away from me,” Fallon spat, pushing him away, but he wasn’t going anywhere. “You aren’t going to threaten me!”

  “It isn’t a threat Fallon, it’s a fucking promise. Aiden is my everything, and damn it, he will be taken care of to the fullest. Buy a bigger house with a yard, I don’t care. Give my son the best of everything because damn it, he deserves it.” Lucas gave her a long, heated look as Fallon tried to just breathe. This was the Lucas she remembered, the one that yelled and screamed to get her to see his way. He must have realized what he was doing because he closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. “I would give you everything if you would let me, Fallon. Don’t you get that?”

  Fallon didn’t say anything. She continued to take in deep breaths as he held her gaze. “I’ve been very forgiving with you about everything. Please, give me a chance.”

  When Fallon didn’t say anything, Lucas shook his head and moved away from her. He didn’t even spare her a second glance as he grabbed his toilet paper tube family and left the room, calling for Aiden. Fallon took in shaky breaths, feeling like she was going to pass out.

  I would give you everything if you would let me, Fallon.

  Tears sprang to her eyes as she continued to take in shuttering breaths. He was right, she was a selfish bitch and she needed to let things go. She hated that she had brought Lucas to threatening her, even though she deserved it. He only wanted to provide for Aiden, he even wanted to make her happy, but Fallon didn’t think he could ever do that. The only thing she wanted was to forget so she could forgive him. Fallon would never love a man the way she loved Lucas, but with the nagging memory of that night, she would never be able to give herself to him.

  Never.

  **********************************

  Lucas still wasn’t breathing right as he drove back to his house. Aiden was in the backseat singing along with one of Lucas’ CDs as they drove. Lucas knew he was wrong for letting the kid sing Chris Brown, but Lucas was so tired of Big Time Rush and plus he had just had it out with Fallon again, something that shook him to the core. All he wanted was to kiss her senseless, but instead he was threatening her. Lucas’ chest hurt every time he thought of the words he said to her. How could he?

  He would never take Aiden from Fallon. Not only did Aiden love her, she was a damn good mom. Hell, great. She would do anything for Aiden, except take money from Lucas. What didn’t she understand? It was for Aiden. It wasn’t a payoff and it wasn’t guilt money. It was for Aiden to have a better life, one that Lucas was blessed to give him. He just wanted to provide for his family, that’s all. Lucas wanted to give them everything because they were his everything.

  “Hey, Dad?”

  Lucas looked up to the rearview mirror, giving his son a grin. “Yeah, bud?”

  “I saw you kiss Mom today.”

  Lucas nodded. “I gathered that.”

  “I’m good with you kissing my mom, but you better only kiss her. No other girls! Okay?”

  Lucas tried so hard not to laugh, but Aiden was such a cute kid. He chuckled a little as he nodded. “Let me tell you something kiddo, if I ever got the chance to always kiss your mommy, I would never kiss another girl again.”

  Aiden giggled. “Good, ‘cause I want you and my mommy to get married. I want a brother. Can you do that for me?”

  Lucas smiled as he shrugged his shoulders. “I’m gonna try buddy. Mommy doesn’t like me much half the time.”

  “Yes, she does. AA says she is fighting her feelings, whatever that means.”

  Lucas laughed. Audrey was a nut, but damn he loved her. They had gotten close since she was the one to always bring Aiden to him when Fallon worked. They also loved to joke around and pick on Fallon, but most of all, she supported him in his endeavor to get Fallon back. “We’ll see, okay?”

  “Okay, but I would like a brother for Christmas.”

  Christmas? Jeez, that would mean he would need to get Fallon back, marry her, and get her pregnant in a week. Hmmm… yeah, no.

  “Don’t think so, bud.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because Mommy is mad at me, and I would have to marry her this week and get her pregnant.”

  Aiden was quiet for a moment. “Get her pregnant, what’s that?”

  Lucas blinked twice as he looked out onto the road. Shit, he thought the kid knew about babies and stuff. “Like Mrs. Adler. She has a baby in her belly.”

  “Oh! I thought she went to the store and bought the baby and was growing it in her belly. Is that what you mean?”

  Lucas nodded. “Yup, exactly what I meant.”

  “Oh, okay. So I have to wait?”

  “Yup, we both do.”

  “Well, darn.”

  Lucas couldn’t agree more. He would do anything to go to Fallon’s store to make that baby, but first he had to get her to trust that he wouldn’t hurt her ever again.

  And that wasn’t looking promising.

  *********************************

  “So you’re right next door?” Aiden asked from the middle of the bed that Lucas had bought for him. Lucas smiled as he nodded. He loved seeing Aiden in his hockey room, and seeing his face when he saw it for the first time brought unbelievable joy to Lucas’ life. Aiden had loved the room, but now he looked a little worried.

  “Yeah, right next door. You need anything, you come in there.”

  Aiden nodded. He was dead on his feet. They had been so busy since they had arrived home. After dinner with Molly, she watched as they played hockey and then they played games together until Aiden basically fell asleep at the table. Lucas was surprised Aiden lasted this long after his busy day, and now Lucas was ready to tuck his little guy in the bed.

  Aiden went under the covers and Lucas came over to the bed, bringing the covers up to his chin the way his dad used to do. “I’m right next door,” Lucas reassured Aiden before moving away from the bed.

  “Okay, good night Dad.”

  “Night bud.”

  Lucas went out the door, sending Aiden a smile over his shoulder before shutting the door, leaving it open a little just in case Aiden needed him. Lucas walked through the house, shutting lights off before going into his own room. As he undressed he couldn’t help but think of Fallon. He wondered if she was okay and if she was handling her first night from Aiden alright. Even with their awful fight, he still worried and cared about her. He needed to apologize; he had no right saying what he said. It was all out of anger and frustration.

  After crawling into bed, he reached f
or his phone just as the knock came at the door. When it opened and Aiden popped his head in, Lucas smiled.

  “Scared?”

  “A little,” Aiden answered, standing so innocently in the doorway in his Spiderman PJs.

  “Well, come on,” Lucas said pushing the blankets up as an invitation. Aiden gave him a cheeky grin before running into the room, and jumping over him to cuddle into Lucas’ bed. Lucas cuddled down beside him and smiled over at him. “Good night.”

  “Night, Dad.”

  Lucas lay on his side and watched as his son’s breathing slowed down until he was breathing evenly. As Lucas watched Aiden’s little face, he found himself at a loss of words at his beauty. His eyelashes kissed his cheeks and his little lips pursed every few seconds as he took in deep breaths.

  He was perfect.

  Lucas rolled over onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. He wished like hell that Fallon was there sharing the moment with him. That she could be spooned against him, watching their son and thinking that she was the luckiest girl on earth. He wished he hadn’t messed up the way he did because if he hadn’t she would be there. He took in a deep calming breath and reached for his phone.

  Fallon answered on the second ring. “Hello?”

  “Hey,” Lucas said quietly.

  “Hey, is everything okay?”

  “Yeah, I just wanted to call and check on you.”

  As she paused, Lucas sat up, his legs hanging off the bed as he braced his elbows on his knees. He listened to her breathing and continued to wish that she was with him.

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Because I care.”

  “Oh,” she whispered. “Well I’m fine. How is Aiden?”

  “He’s sleeping. We had a good night though.”

  “Good, what did you all do?” she asked.

  “Had dinner with Mom, played some hockey, and played games. It was funny. Aiden fell asleep while playing Candy Land.”

  Fallon giggled. “He must have been dead on his feet.”

  “Yeah, he was. He’s sleeping beside me,” Lucas glanced over at Aiden. “He reminds me of the way you used to sleep.”

  Fallon took in a sharp breath. “He always reminded me of you.”

  Lucas’ body caught on fire, he wanted her so bad.

  “Fallon,” Lucas began.

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean everything I said. I would never take Aiden from you, I was mad that you weren’t cooperating with me. You drive me insane.”

  She paused, and then let out a long breath. “I know, but you drive me just as insane.”

  Lucas smirked. “So we’re even?”

  “Basically. I’m gonna put the check in the bank Monday,” she said in a small voice.

  “Good,” Lucas decided. “Are you going to look into another house?”

  “I don’t know,” Fallon answered. “There really isn’t anything wrong with this condo.”

  “No, but Aiden needs a yard.”

  “I guess,” Fallon said with a huff.

  “You could always move in with me; we could be a family,” Lucas suggested, causing Fallon to laugh.

  “Yeah, but where would I sleep? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want me anywhere but beside you, and since I can’t trust you, that ain’t happening.”

  Lucas ran his finger up and down his knee wishing that it could happen.

  “Maybe we could try.”

  “Maybe I could use this money to buy me a time machine and travel back in time and prevent you from cheating on me,” she said, and he laughed.

  “It would be great if we could though.”

  “Yeah, but I don’t know if I could try, Lucas. It’s just so hard.”

  Lucas looked up at the ceiling frustrated. “How will you know if we don’t try?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Go out with me. Give us a chance.”

  “I don’t know, Lucas. It’s just all so scary. I don’t think I can do the hurt again,” she said, and Lucas wasn’t sure but he thought she was crying.

  His voice dropped down an octave. “I won’t hurt you baby, ever again.”

  “I just don’t know.”

  “Do you miss me?” he asked.

  He held his breath as he waited for her answer. When she said “Yes,” it came out in a whoosh and the biggest grin replaced the worried line of his mouth.

  “I miss you. So much.”

  “But that doesn’t mean anything. Just because my body wants you and even though I miss you, I still know you’re a bad idea,” she insisted.

  “Maybe I’m not.”

  “Maybe you are.”

  Lucas rolled his eyes and looked back down at the carpet. “Until you give me a fair chance, I don’t think it’s right of you to make that assumption,” he said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I want us to be a family, Fallon.”

  Fallon let out a breath. “In a perfect world we would be, but I would also be able to let go of what happened.”

  “Again, let’s try. I’m going to be on break in a week before playoffs start,” he began, but Fallon cut him off.

  “Yeah, but you have the campaign.”

  “So? I can still plan stuff with you and Aiden around that. I want us to try during my break Fallon. Really try.”

  “I don’t know Lucas, that’s asking a lot.”

  “I don’t think it is,” Lucas countered. “I just want two weeks, that’s all. Me, you and Aiden, let’s see if it works.”

  When Fallon didn’t say anything for a long time, Lucas wasn’t sure if she fell asleep or if she was thinking. She then said, “Let me think about it.”

  A slow grin went across Lucas’ face. If she was willing to think about it, then she obviously wanted the same thing.

  A family with him.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay, so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?” she asked.

  “Tomorrow. Maybe I can get a good luck kiss out of you before the game?” Lucas said with laughter in his voice.

  “Don’t count on it,” she laughed. “Good night, Lucas.”

  “Good night baby,” Lucas said. He didn’t hang up the phone because he wanted her to do it first. It was childish, but they used to always do it. When she didn’t hang up either, Lucas smiled as he listened to her breathe. “Hang up,” he whispered.

  “No, you hang up,” she whispered back.

  Lucas started to laugh. He loved when they did this when he was on the road. They would fight about who hung up first, and finally they would hang up at the same time.

  It felt so right doing it again and when he said, “Together?” she laughed. It had been so long but at that moment he felt like they were kids again, no worries in the world.

  When Fallon stopped laughing, she said, “Okay, one, two, three…”

  “Night,” they both said before hanging up. Lucas grinned down at the phone. They were going to work out, things were moving for them. He just hoped they were moving in the right direction.

  To his perfect family.

  Chapter 24

  Fallon couldn’t believe she was considering giving Lucas those two weeks.

  As she drove to the Luther Arena, she couldn’t help but want to do it. Maybe he was right, she couldn’t assume he would do her wrong. He said he was a changed man, and she had seen it after their fight. He would have never called and apologized before, but he had now. But all Fallon could think was even if she was to give him those two weeks, if she couldn’t trust him, what good would it do? It would only confuse him, her, and Aiden. She would have to forgive him before she could commit to something like that, but how could she forgive him when every time she looked at him, she thought of that moment when she found him in bed with Allison.

  It was a vicious cycle of pain and something had to be done, or Fallon would be living a life — aside from Aiden — that she really didn’t like. Until she fully got over Lucas she would never be able to give her heart away. Part of he
r knew she would never get over him, but if she wasn’t going to give him a chance then she needed to do it. It was getting old, this game she was playing. She needed to decide what was best for herself and Aiden. If that was Lucas, then damn it, she needed to try. She needed to listen to her heart.

  But the damn thing was telling her to be with him while her brain was telling her that he had cheated once, he’d do it again!

  Ah! She was tiptoeing on the line between sane and crazy!

  “I heard you crying again last night.”

  Fallon looked over to where Audrey sat looking out the window. “I’m a mess, you should get used to it.”

  Audrey laughed. “Why were you crying?”

  “Lucas,” she said as if that explained everything.

  “Okay?”

  “We got into it, and he then called later and apologized. He then proceeded to asked for two weeks for me to see that he was a changed man.”

  Fallon looked over to see Audrey nodding. “And you said?”

  “I’d think about it,” Fallon said with a shrug.

  “Well at least you didn’t say no. It would probably be for the best, Fal.”

  “I am so scared he’ll hurt me again.”

  “What if he doesn’t and he is this said ‘changed man’? You could live your happily ever after, but if you keep on the way you are going, you’re gonna be alone for the rest of your life, and then what?”

  “Jeez, dramatic much?” Fallon asked as she pulled into a parking spot beside Lucas’ truck.

  “This from the queen of the dramatics. I’m just saying give him a chance. I think he’s awesome.”

  “Of course you do, it’s the Brooks’ charm. Why do you think everyone loves Aiden?” Fallon said as she got out of the car. Audrey came around and locked arms with Fallon, looking up at her with a smile.

  “I think you should give him a chance,” she said.

  Fallon rolled her eyes. She was so tired of talking about her and Lucas; it was an ongoing issue of craziness. Plus, Fallon had a very important question for Audrey.

  “I think you should tell me why I went by your room last night and you were gone,” Fallon countered. Audrey narrowed her eyes and unlocked her arms, moving away from Fallon.