Tia looked up slowly and smiled. ‘I’m just looking at the pictures,’ she said, folding the paper and putting it behind her on the shelf.
Ellie frowned and then shook her head. What did it matter what she read? Pasting on a smile, she said, ‘I’ve got a treat for you.’
Tia’s face showed no interest.
‘A treat,’ Ellie said again, ‘you know, a surprise.’ This got a slight reaction but not what Ellie expected.
‘Really?’ Tia said.
Her tone told Ellie, as if she’d put it into words, she didn’t believe her. ‘Yes, really,’ she said, trying to instil a measure of enthusiasm into her voice. ‘I’m going to take you shopping for some new clothes.’ This time there was a slight smile on Tia’s face, so Ellie went a step further. ‘I thought we could buy some nice things for the baby, too.’
The smile died. ‘His name is Bill,’ Tia said, her voice sharp, ‘he’s not the baby.’
Ellie blinked in surprise at the note of irritation in her sister’s voice. She held her hands up. ‘Sorry,’ she said, ‘yes, of course, you’re right. We’ll go and buy some nice things for Bill.’
‘When he wakes up,’ Tia said, looking over at the sleeping child in his cot.
‘No need,’ Ellie said, with false brightness she hoped Tia wouldn’t notice, ‘that’s the rest of the surprise. I’ve hired a nanny to look after him while we’re gone. You can’t shop with a baby.’ She smiled sympathetically. ‘It wouldn’t be fair on him, would it?’
A slight frown appeared between Tia’s eyes and her lips tightened.
Ellie, who’d expected her sister to be easily persuaded to go shopping, was flummoxed. What could she say to make her go? ‘If we’re going to have Bill christened, we’ll need to get him something nice to wear. Will said maybe a cute little sailor suit of some sort?’
Tia’s face brightened. ‘Will said that?’
Ellie bit her lip. If anything convinced her she was doing the right thing, this did; her sister’s crush on Will was getting worse. But, if using his name succeeded in convincing her, she’d use it. She’d use whatever she needed to. ‘Yes,’ she lied, ‘he’s very excited about it.’
At last Tia nodded. ‘Okay,’ she said. But her face was still wary.
Before she could change her mind, Ellie sent her upstairs to get a coat. ‘You’d better say goodbye to Bill first, Tia. While you’re getting ready I’ll bring the nanny through to explain about his feeds.’ When she saw her hesitate, a frown appearing between her eyes, Ellie smiled sweetly. ‘Unless you’d prefer to give her all the important instructions?’ She laid heavy emphasis on important, watching as Tia’s eyes flickered. ‘About the feeds, the steriliser, the emergency phone numbers etc.’
As she guessed she would, Tia baulked at having to explain the details, especially to a stranger. ‘You’d be better explaining,’ she said, and moved to say goodbye to her child, cooing over the sleeping baby as Ellie watched with a twinge of guilt that she quickly brushed away. She could come and visit, or they could bring Bill down to see her. She’d be far better off in Brighton.
She clenched her fists. Far better. They’d all be far better.
When, finally, Tia went to get a coat and bag, she brought Sally in and introduced her to the baby, pointing out the supplies and where the emergency phone numbers were. ‘I should be back by around four, Sally,’ she said, ‘help yourself to whatever food you want.’ She took a card from her bag and handed it to her. ‘If, for any reason, you’ve concerns you can get me on this number. Okay?’
Sally took the card and put it into her trouser pocket. ‘There should be no problems, Mrs Armstrong,’ Sally said with a smile. ‘Go and have a nice break. I’ve been doing this job a long time. There’s nothing I can’t handle.’
In the hallway, Ellie grabbed her coat and looked up the stairway. ‘Tia,’ she called, keeping her voice cheerful, ‘come on, let’s get shopping.’ The footsteps on the stairs as Tia made her way down were slow and reluctant but Ellie kept up a one-sided conversation about baby clothes as they walked the short distance to where the car was parked. When she pulled out into the traffic, she relaxed a little. They were off.
‘There’s a good shopping centre a few miles out of the city,’ she said. ‘We can park there and go straight to the shops.’
Tia stared out the window. ‘You’re sure that woman knows what to do?’ she said eventually.
‘Absolutely. She is one of the best. That’s what the agency said. In high demand; we were lucky to get her. I only wanted the best.’
That seemed to reassure Tia. Her face lost its pinched look and she looked a little more relaxed. Ellie kept up a stream of inconsequential chatter for the whole journey, surprising herself with the amount of stuff she knew about babies and baby clothes.
Finally, after more than an hour, they arrived at the shopping centre. ‘Here we are,’ Ellie said, indicating and pulling into the queue of traffic that snaked into the underground car park. She had to drive around for a few minutes before finding a place to park, pulling in with a sigh of relief.
After an hour’s shopping, she was carrying several bags filled with underwear, nightwear, jeans, jumpers and shoes. If Tia was surprised at the number of things she bought, she didn’t comment, following her without a word.
‘Okay,’ Ellie said finally, ‘that’s us sorted. Now we’d better start looking for baby outfits.’
They walked around a couple of shops that were dedicated to baby clothes. Sailor suits, unfortunately, seemed to be out of fashion. Ellie watched as Tia’s face dropped when the assistant in the second shop told them they hadn’t stocked them for a long time.
‘But I want one for Bill,’ Tia said, her voice shrill.
Ellie kicked herself for choosing something so specific.
She reached for a blue outfit. ‘What about this?’ she said. ‘He’d look cute in this.’ But even adding, ‘I think Will would like it,’ didn’t work this time and she could see tears beginning to gather in the corners of Tia’s eyes.
Looking around her in desperation, Ellie spotted a blue and white striped outfit in the corner of the shop. ‘What about this,’ she said, rushing over and grabbing it. ‘This could almost be a sailor suit.’
Tia took it from her and rubbed the soft fabric gently between her thumb and forefinger, a smile slowly appearing on her face. ‘Yes, this is nice,’ she said.
Ellie raised her eyes to heaven and muttered, ‘Thank you, God.’ The assistant bagged the item, she handed over her credit card to pay for it and, within minutes, they were heading back to the car. She threw all their purchases into the boot and slammed it shut. Starting the engine, she smiled across at her sister. ‘That was a good morning’s shopping,’ she said. ‘Now you can sit back and relax.’
There was another hour’s drive before they reached Brighton.
39
To Ellie’s relief, ten minutes into the drive, Tia fell asleep.
Taking a deep breath, she let it out slowly and felt her shoulders relax. The agency had said Sally could stay with them until they managed to find a suitable, permanent, live-in nanny. Ellie hoped it wouldn’t take long; Sally, with all her years of experience, was astronomically expensive.
Switching the radio on to a classical radio station, she went over what she’d say to Will. He’d be annoyed, maybe even furious, but faced with a fait accompli there wasn’t much he could do, was there? Sally would take good care of the baby and things could return to normal. She frowned. Well, perhaps as near to normal as was possible.
She was more worried about Will’s reaction than she was willing to admit. What could he do? Drive down and bring Tia back? If there was a small part of her that worried he might do just that, she ignored it. She had to, because she just didn’t know how their marriage would survive if he chose Tia over her. He loved her, she loved him, that had to be enough.
They were fifteen minutes’ drive from Brighton when Tia woke up. She looked around, then loo
ked at the dashboard clock, her face registering some confusion.
‘Are we nearly home?’ she asked, stretching and looking across to Ellie.
‘Nearly.’ The residential home, just outside Brighton, was approached down a series of twisty country roads. She indicated and turned off the main road, ignoring Tia who was twisting in her seat to look out the rear-view window.
‘This doesn’t look like it’s nearly home,’ she said, a note of rising panic in her voice. ‘It looks like the roads around St Germaine’s.’
Ellie had never considered the comparison and refused to do so now. It wasn’t the same. Here Tia would have a certain amount of independence, maybe even a job. And it was a new-build, there’d be no damp, no peeling wallpaper and she imagined there wouldn’t be the pervasive smell of cabbage. It would be a little bungalow of her own. A better life than she had before. She shook her head, she didn’t have to convince herself, she knew it was the best thing for all of them.
It was Tia she had to convince and it was time to tell her the truth. ‘No, it’s near Brighton, Tia. It’s another surprise. We’ve bought you a place of your own,’ she said, throwing her a swift look. ‘Your own home. You can buy nice things for it. Move furniture around if you want to, have friends around.’
When there was no word from her, she continued. ‘Married people need to have their home just for themselves, Tia. That’s Will and me, you understand. You can still come and visit, of course, and we’ll come and visit you, but you won’t live with us any more. We’ll look after Bill too so you can enjoy yourself and not have to worry about him.’ As there was still no response from her, Ellie gave her a quick glance, but Tia had her head turned away. ‘It will be better for him to stay with us, and I know you want what’s best for him.’
The narrow, winding road needed her concentration, so it was a few minutes before she chanced a look in her sister’s direction but when she did what she saw shocked her.
Tia was staring at her, looking furious, eyes narrow and hard, her mouth, usually curved in a smile, downturned and pursed. ‘You think you’re going to keep Bill?’
‘He’ll be better off with two parents to look after him and Will is a great father. We’re going to keep the nanny until we find someone more permanent to look after him.’
‘I can look after him,’ Tia said, her voice growing harsh. ‘I love him. He’s mine.’
‘It’s just not working with us all together.’ Ellie tried to keep her voice calm. ‘Will and I want to get back to the way things used to be.’
There was a moment’s silence. ‘The way things used to be. Before me?’
‘Yes,’ Ellie said and threw her a grateful smile. Maybe she did understand.
‘And before Bill?’
Ellie’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. ‘Bill is different,’ she said, her eyes flicking to the sat-nav. Ten more minutes.
‘Because Bill is Will’s baby, and he loves him?’
Ellie nodded, almost reluctantly. Where was she going with this?
‘Me and Will, we both love him.’ Tia twisted in her seat to look across at Ellie. ‘Maybe you should be the one to move out.’
Startled, Ellie looked at her. ‘Will is my husband,’ she said, but even to her own ears the argument didn’t hold much weight. A husband who’d fathered a child with her sister. Her identical twin sister, her mirror image.
‘But Bill is not your child, Ellie,’ Tia said.
Ellie blinked. She didn’t think she’d ever heard Tia say her name before. It was a shocking realisation, almost as shocking as the realisation that she had seriously underestimated her sister. But she wasn’t giving up.
‘You don’t understand, Tia,’ she said, hearing the pleading note in her voice. A raucous laugh made her turn her head, her eyes wide.
‘I understand,’ Tia said. ‘What you don’t understand is that I am never going to give up my baby. Take me home.’
Ellie shook her head. ‘I can’t do that, I’m afraid.’
Both sisters glared at one another for a moment. Then, without warning, Tia reached for the steering wheel with both hands. ‘Turn around, I want to go home,’ she said, pulling on it hard.
‘Don’t be stupid, let go.’ Ellie tried to push her away, to prise her fingers off the wheel as she desperately tried to keep control of the car.
‘Take me home,’ Tia shouted, and continued to struggle.
With a last, desperate attempt to push her away, Ellie turned toward her and hit out with a clenched fist, feeling it connect hard with her neck. Tia, stunned by the blow, held onto the wheel for another moment before, suddenly, collapsing back in her seat. Horrified at what she’d done, Ellie was taken by surprise and was unprepared for the wheel to suddenly become free. Frantically, she tried to compensate but it was too late. The car veered to the right, crossing the other lane. Going way too fast. Her foot, on the brake, went to the floor. There was a screeching sound of rubber but it was all too late and the car swerved into the ditch at the side of the road.
It should have been a soft landing, the ditch wide and lined with nettles, ivy and a mass of weeds, but a tree, brought down by storms months before, lay across it, hard and unyielding. The car hit it at speed, somersaulted over it and tumbled down the slope behind to the sound of cracking branches and groaning, shrieking metal.
It slammed to a halt on its side against a tree and there was silence.
Ellie’s eyes fluttered and then opened. She’d no idea how long she’d been unconscious. Pressed tightly against the door, she blinked and tried to clear her vision to look around, but there was something in her eyes. She raised her hand carefully to wipe them and blinking rapidly finished the job. She could see, and what she saw terrified her.
Her fingers were covered in blood and there were jagged pieces of glass embedded in her left arm, blood trickling from the multiple lacerations. To her right, it was dark and it took her a few seconds to understand why. The car had landed on its side, smashing the side window. That’s where the glass had come from. But the blood was trickling, not pumping she realised. She wasn’t going to bleed to death.
With the car on its side, Tia should be above her. ‘Tia,’ she called but her voice came out a weak whisper. She tried to turn her head to look up, the movement causing her to groan in pain. Taking a shallow breath, she attempted instead to move her position in the seat but the effort made her black out for a time. When she came to, she tried again. The pain was intense. She wasn’t sure what she’d broken but she guessed her right arm and, since breathing was painful, probably some ribs. Moving slowly, crying out in pain, she used the seatbelt to pull herself around, inch by agonising inch, until finally she managed to see her sister.
Tia’s body was slumped in the seat above her, the seatbelt preventing her from falling down. She took the deepest breath she could manage and called, ‘Tia.’ But her voice cracked barely above a whisper. She tried again. ‘Tia, are you okay? Can you move?’ There was no answer, no movement. Ellie caught the smell of petrol in the air and felt panic rising. She’d seen enough movies, she knew what could happen. They needed to get out of the car.
She was about to call her sister again when she noticed a slight movement of her hand. ‘Tia? Tia, we need to get out of the car. Can you hear me?’
It was a few seconds before she heard a reply, the first an inaudible mumble, the second a slightly louder, ‘Yes.’
Ellie closed her eyes briefly. Thank God. It wasn’t going to be easy to get out. If Tia undid her seatbelt and fell on top of her, they’d both be stuck.
‘Okay,’ she said, ‘we need to get out of the car. You’re going to need to push the door open first. Can you do that?’ There was silence and no movement. Ellie felt tears sting her eyes. She took another deep breath, ignoring the sharp pain, and called out, louder. ‘Tia, I need you to open the door and push it back so that it stays open.’
Once again, there was no answer but then, just as Ellie was about to call again, she
heard a grunt and the sound of the door handle being tried.
‘It’s stuck,’ Tia said.
Ellie felt her eyelids droop again. She had to stay conscious. If they were going to make it out alive, it was up to her. She took another wheezing breath and, as calmly as possible, said, ‘You have to try again, Tia. We must get out. Will would want you to try, and Bill needs you.’ If that didn’t work, she didn’t know what would. There was no way she’d be able to climb over her.
Twisting again, feeling a grating in her side as splintered ribs shifted, she put as much force into her voice as possible. ‘Tia, push the door open.’
To her relief, it seemed to work. She watched her twist and push at the door. It opened but the angle was difficult, and it fell back. ‘Harder,’ Ellie encouraged, ‘push the door back, hard as you can.’
Finally, Tia pushed and the door swung back. This time it stayed open.
‘Well done. Now, this is going to be tough, but you can do it. Wedge your feet onto something, hold on tight to the edge of the door with one hand and gently undo your seatbelt with the other. You have to be very careful or you’ll fall down here on top of me, okay?’
She braced herself when she heard the seatbelt being released, relaxing a little when Tia didn’t fall down immediately.
But it could happen yet. She needed to pull herself up and get out.
‘My arm hurts,’ Tia said.
Ellie wanted to close her eyes, to get away from the excruciating pain that seemed to be in every part of her. But if she did, they were lost. ‘Bring your legs up, Tia,’ she said. ‘That’s right. Use them to push yourself up.’
Tia hesitated, then did as she was told, reaching for the opening with one hand, her feet using the seat as leverage. She was almost up, when she slipped.
One foot hit Ellie hard on her left side; there was a loud crack in her ribs followed by an intense pain that made her scream before everything faded to black.
When she woke once more, disorientated and confused, pain hit her again and made her cry out. It took a few seconds before she remembered what had happened. She bit her lip against the pain and looked up to the passenger seat. Tia was gone.
Secrets Between Us Page 19