She shook her head. ‘I’m too tired.’
Will smiled understandingly.
The phone rang a number of times before it was picked up. ‘Adam, hi, it’s Will. I’ve just heard from the police; Tia’s body will be released for burial. I’ve spoken to the funeral directors and agreed a tentative date of the fifth, I just wanted to check with you before confirming.’
‘Sounds fine, Will,’ Adam replied. ‘That gives me time to arrange things this end.’ There was a brief pause before he continued. ‘How’s Ellie doing?’
‘She’s doing fine. It’s going to take a while to make a full recovery, but the doctors were happy with her progress at the hospital so it’s just a matter of time. By the fifth I’m sure she’ll be back to herself.’
‘Can I speak to her?’
‘She’s resting at the moment. Would you like me to get her to ring you later?’
‘No, that’s fine, Will. Send her my love and tell her I look forward to seeing her in a couple of weeks.’
‘You’re welcome to stay here with us?’ Will added, hoping the answer was no. But he didn’t need to worry.
‘No, thanks, Will. I’ll book us into a hotel. Perhaps you and Ellie will join us for dinner one night. We’re going to stay for a few days, Tyler wants to have some suits made.’
Arrangements made, Will hung up, sat back and ran a hand through his hair. It would be a relief when things returned to normal. If they returned to normal. He looked at Ellie who was once again watching the muted television. He reached for the remote and turned the sound back on.
He’d taken yet another day off to be with her. The company were being understanding, but he could see it starting to fray at the edges.
‘Of course,’ Alistair Metcalf the CEO said when he’d dropped into his office the day before. ‘You must do what you think fit. After all, it’s only been two weeks since the accident.’
Maybe Will imagined it, but he thought there was a touch of sarcasm in the only two weeks.
From the living room he heard the sound of Bill crying. It lasted a moment before stopping. The wonderful Sally had been replaced by an equally wonderful Mary, a woman as plain and old fashioned as her name suggested. She came for an interview, took a look at the sleeping arrangements and nodded. ‘This’ll do for the moment,’ she said agreeably. ‘I’m assuming there is a bedroom I can use eventually?’
He brought her to see the small spare bedroom and she looked around with narrowed eyes as if judging what would fit where. ‘I’ll use this as a sitting room while I sleep downstairs,’ she said. ‘I like my bit of privacy.’
‘Of course,’ Will said.
‘I’ll need a television and an armchair,’ she said.
‘Absolutely,’ he agreed, ‘I’ll get that organised.’ If these were her only conditions, they were easily met. ‘My wife was in a car accident,’ he told her, ‘she’ll be here during the day recuperating until she’s ready to go back to work.’
‘Sally told me all about it,’ Mary said.
Will was relieved he didn’t have to go into explanations but was also taken aback that Sally had gossiped. He was about to shake off concerns with an after all we’ve no secrets attitude when he remembered it wasn’t true and sighed.
Mary Parks moved in immediately and, within a couple of days, it was as if she’d always been there. Bill took to her immediately, his crying miraculously stopping when she picked him up.
At first, every time he needed to be fed during the day, she asked Ellie if she wanted to feed him and she declined. After a couple of days, she stopped asking. They quickly settled into a routine, Mary and Bill in the kitchen or living room, Ellie on the sofa in the sitting room. Except to get coffee or something to eat, Ellie didn’t bother her. If Mary were surprised at this lack of concern, she said nothing, merely shaking her head and giving Bill extra cuddles.
It wasn’t long before she was running the house. ‘You should be getting out of the house, Mrs Armstrong,’ she started saying to Ellie after a few days of letting her recover slowly. ‘You won’t get better lying on the couch, day after day. Why don’t you take Bill out in his pushchair? It would do you both the power of good.’
But each time Ellie would shake her head. ‘Maybe tomorrow, Mary.’
Two weeks after her arrival, she approached Will while he was reading the morning paper with a coffee before going to work. ‘I’m worried about Mrs Armstrong,’ she said. ‘She does nothing except watch television. It’s not good for her. And she shows no interest in her baby at all.’
She didn’t say it’s not natural, but it hung in the air.
Will gave her a sharp look. ‘She’s had a difficult time. That’s why we need you to look after Bill,’ he said. ‘Leave Mrs Armstrong to me.’
Mary pressed her lips firmly together, nodded and turned away.
A wave of guilt washed over him. The woman was just trying to be kind. If he were honest, he was worried about Ellie too. He’d expected her to have recovered by now. She wasn’t taking painkillers any more. The cuts on her face had healed, the bruises fading to a sickly yellow. She was walking without a limp. The plaster cast on her left hand did impact a little on what she could do, but she could use her fingers so she wasn’t totally incapacitated. She was always so energetic and active before the accident. Maybe she was depressed? Leaving his empty cup on the counter, he folded the newspaper and headed back to their bedroom. ‘Hi,’ he said, seeing her eyes open when he walked in.
He sat on the side of the bed, reached out and brushed the hair from her face. ‘Sleepyhead,’ he teased with a smile. ‘I’ll be heading to work in about twenty minutes but I’m in no hurry this morning so I thought you might like to go to your office and say hello. Make your presence felt? Let them know you’re alive and kicking,’ he said, resorting to clichés in face of her blank look. ‘You don’t want Jeff Harper getting any clever ideas, do you?’
The blank look was replaced by confusion. ‘Jeff Harper?’
Will laughed uncertainly. ‘Jeff? The man you always suspected was after your job?’
Ellie’s puzzled look cleared and she laughed. ‘Of course. Funny, it took a car crash for me to stop worrying about him.’
‘Well, something good came out of it then,’ he said, bending down to kiss her cheek. ‘I’ll wait for you to get dressed, if you want.’
She shook her head. ‘It’s too soon,’ she said, reaching a hand up to touch his cheek. ‘Maybe next week.’
That afternoon, Ellie told Mary she was going out for a walk.
Mary’s round face creased in a smile. ‘Some fresh air will do you the world of good. Do you want to take Bill? The pushchair is easy to manoeuvre, you’ll have no problem even with the cast.’
Ellie shook her head. ‘I think I’d like some time just for myself today.’
It was a beautiful day. She stepped out of the front door and took a deep breath. Unsurprisingly, she felt a little shaky. After a few steps she wanted to go home but she persevered and made it as far as the local shop. She walked around inside with no intention of buying anything and was about to leave when a cheery voice called out, ‘Hello! We haven’t seen you here in ages.’
She turned to face the caller, a young assistant who was packing fruit onto a shelf without any attempt at display. Her smile turned to a grimace when she saw the plaster on her arm. ‘Oh dear, what have you done to your arm?’
‘I broke it,’ Ellie said, realising in that split second the woman thought she was Tia. Should she tell her, or smile and leave?
‘Poor you,’ the assistant said, and returned to her unpacking.
Ellie shrugged, turned and left. She wouldn’t come this way again. The journey home was slower, every step a struggle. She was shocked at how weak she’d become in such a short space of time. Tomorrow, she’d do better.
‘I’ll have to build up gradually,’ she told a delighted Will when he arrived home. ‘But tomorrow, I’ll walk the other direction.’ She told him abou
t the assistant.
‘Of course, they thought you were Tia,’ he said reasonably. ‘She was always going in there. Why didn’t you just tell her who you were?’
Ellie stared at him. ‘Tia’s twin? I don’t want to be a dead woman’s twin, Will.’
Surprised at her vehemence, Will held up both hands in surrender. ‘Sorry, sorry,’ he said. ‘I didn’t think, I’m sorry. Of course, you don’t.’
She let her head flop back on the sofa. ‘No, I’m sorry, Will. I suppose I haven’t really come to terms with the fact she’s dead yet.’
He sat beside her and rested a hand on her knee. ‘We’ll get through this, Ellie. You, me and little Bill.’
She looked at his hand and rested hers on top. ‘Don’t you ever wish it was like it was before? When it was just you and me? No baby, no nanny?’
Turning his hand, he grasped hers. ‘Sometimes, I suppose,’ he admitted. He was looking down at their joined hands and didn’t see the look that passed over her face. ‘But,’ he added, looking up, his other hand reaching to brush her cheek, ‘with Bill, I think we’ll be stronger. Even the secrets that have made him, have brought us closer. Don’t you feel that?’
She met his eyes, hers softening as she saw in his what she wanted. Unconditional love. Perhaps there was enough to go around after all. Perhaps she’d done enough. ‘Secrets,’ she said softly, rolling the word around in her mouth. ‘I suppose it means you can never leave me, doesn’t it?’
Will was slightly taken aback and laughed uncertainly. ‘If I wanted to leave you, would you tell on me?’
‘Maybe,’ she said with a serious face. Then she squeezed his hand and gave him her biggest smile, watching as his face immediately relaxed. ‘But you’ll never want to leave me, will you?’
45
Adam and Tyler flew into Heathrow two days before the funeral. Will toyed with the idea of hiring a car to pick them up but, in the end, decided a taxi would be easier. He told Ellie the time the taxi was due so he was surprised when, fifteen minutes beforehand, she was still in her pyjamas.
‘You better hurry,’ he said, checking his watch.
‘Why?’
He blinked in surprise. ‘Have you forgotten? We’re going to meet Adam and Tyler.’
She looked at him with a blank look, then shook her head and smiled. ‘Oh gosh, I forgot,’ she said. ‘I’ll go and change. I can be ready in ten minutes.’
It was almost twenty minutes before she came down the stairs dressed in a fitted, low-cut navy dress, her hair tied back in the nape of her neck. She’d replaced the hospital-supplied sling with a silk scarf. It was her only accessory.
A cream coat hung over one arm, she reached the bottom step and handed it to Will who draped it over her shoulders. ‘You look amazing,’ he said, kissing the back of her neck. ‘We’d better hurry, the taxi is waiting.’
Ellie nodded and moved to the door looking back in surprise when Will didn’t follow. ‘Okay?’ she asked.
‘I’ll just go and say goodbye to Mary and give Bill a kiss goodnight.’
She didn’t follow him, waiting almost impatiently at the door until he returned minutes later.
‘Why can’t you make a little effort, Ellie?’ he said, opening the door for her.
It was the first time he’d criticised her since the crash and she looked at him in surprise. She looked down at her dress. ‘You said I looked amazing.’
He looked puzzled for a moment and then frowned. ‘You know damn well I wasn’t taking about how you look,’ he said.
In the taxi, he turned to her again. Her attitude was really beginning to grate on him. ‘Mary is wonderful,’ he said, ‘but she’s a nanny. She could up and leave at any time. Bill needs a mother. I want us to be a family, but you’re not making any effort with him. He’s a lovely child; Tia and I used to enjoy playing with him, making him giggle.’
Hearing the regret in his voice, her face suddenly turned hard. ‘You miss her?’
He sat back in the seat and said nothing for a while. ‘Don’t you?’ he asked eventually. ‘Even a little?’
Ellie nodded. ‘Of course, I do. How could I not?’
‘I miss how she was with Bill,’ Will said. ‘She really loved him. That’s why I think our plan to separate them was never going to work. She’d have found a way to come back to him.’
‘To you,’ Ellie said. She looked at him, her eyes cold, hard. ‘She was only good with the baby when you were around. It was all for your benefit. When you weren’t there she didn’t pay him as much attention.’
He blinked. ‘I don’t believe you.’
She shrugged dismissively. ‘I knew you wouldn’t believe me so I never said anything. Anyway, it doesn’t matter. She might have found a way to come back from Brighton, but not from where she’s gone now.’
If he was stunned at her words, he was horrified at coldness of her voice. He’d never heard it before, not even in the worst of their rows. He remembered, years before, meeting her colleague Jeff at a work party. He’d described Ellie as a ruthless, cold negotiator. He’d not been able to reconcile the description with the woman he loved. Now, for the first time, he could.
The taxi pulled up at the airport and they moved through the crowds to Arrivals without further discussion, both their faces set and grim. The flight was delayed and they stood looking resolutely ahead, neither knowing what to say to break the uncomfortable, frosty silence between them.
It was a long forty-five minutes before they saw the tanned face of Adam Dawson and his partner coming through, both men pushing laden trolleys.
‘How long are they staying for?’ Will muttered, looking across at her to see if this raised a smile. It didn’t. He sighed and waved at the approaching men, pasting a smile in place, hoping she was doing the same, afraid to look in case she wasn’t.
The two men, exhausted from the long flight and the free champagne, greeted them with bear hugs and smiles. ‘So good to see you both,’ Adam said before pulling away from Ellie to stare into her face. ‘How’re you holding up, my dear,’ he said with genuine concern, before looking toward Will with a slight frown.
Will gave a quick shake of his head and Adam said no more as they moved en masse towards the exit to join the long queue for a taxi.
‘Are you going to replace your car?’ Adam asked, when they’d settled inside one, ten minutes later.
Will shook his head. ‘We hardly used it, it doesn’t make sense to buy another. In London, it’s more convenient to use the tube or get a taxi. We could always hire a car if we needed one.’
‘Makes sense,’ Tyler said, yawning widely. ‘Sorry,’ he smiled apologetically. ‘I need my bed.’
The taxi dropped them off at the elegant Mavern Hotel on Grosvenor Street, before taking Will and Ellie home, silence returning as soon as the two travellers had departed.
Once inside, Ellie went upstairs without so much as a goodnight. Will, his eyes bleak, stood a moment; should he go and speak to her? While he was trying to decide, he heard the sound of the bath filling. He smiled grimly. Decision made.
Restless, he went into the kitchen to find Mary preparing a bottle for Bill. She turned with a smile that dimmed slightly when she saw he was alone.
‘Ellie’s not feeling well,’ he lied and then, as if trying to convince himself, he added, ‘Tia’s funeral is going to be hard on her.’
Mary finished what she was doing and leaned back against the counter. ‘I was going to make some coffee, would you like a cup?’
Will nodded gratefully. He’d take kindness and sympathy wherever he could get it these days. He sat at the table and rested his chin in his cupped hands until she put a mug in front of him and then cupped it instead, feeling the heat and enjoying the coffee-laced fumes.
Mary stood sipping hers.
‘Sit down, for goodness sake,’ he said gruffly, but kindly.
Her grunt was wary but she pulled up a chair and sat. While he stared into his coffee, she ventured a question. �
�There are no photographs of Tia, were they very alike?’
He looked up, surprised. ‘She only came to live with us a short time ago,’ he said. As explanations went, it wasn’t good but he saw her nod. ‘And to answer your question, yes, they were very alike to look at, but different in temperament. Tia was a gentler soul, not very bright, but very loving. She was good with Bill too, used to make him laugh.’
‘He’s a happy baby,’ she said. ‘It’s a shame Mrs Armstrong spends so little time with him.’
Since, as far as Will was aware, Ellie had spent almost no time with Bill since she returned from hospital, he guessed Mary was being kind.
‘It’s been difficult for her. I’m sure, once the funeral is over, things will go back to normal.’ He said it with a conviction he didn’t feel.
He slept on the sofa, waiting until he heard the living room quieten before switching out the light and stretching out. He could have gone upstairs and grabbed a blanket and pillow but in a spirit of martyrdom he lay uncomfortable all night, sleeping fitfully. At two, he was wide awake. What was it Ellie had said? Tia might have found a way to come back from Brighton, but not from where she’s gone now. It had been a terrible thing to say, almost as if she were truly glad Tia were dead.
He tried to get back to sleep but the words spun round and round. He remembered Ellie’s face when she’d said it. How hard she’d looked. His eyes snapped open. What was it that detective had said? He racked his sleepy brain to remember something that had seemed of little importance at the time, but now… What was it?
When the answer came to him he sat bolt upright, letting out a groan of despair. The detective inspector had mentioned something about how amazing it was that Tia had managed to climb from the car with such an extensive head injury.
But maybe she hadn’t.
Maybe Tia hadn’t been badly injured in the crash at all.
What was he thinking? The blood drained from his face. It was sleep deprivation making his brain imagine stupid things. He flopped back on the sofa and closed his eyes.
Secrets Between Us Page 23