by Jillian Hart
“Marin should have warned you. You’ll get used to it. You look like you’re enjoying your first day here.”
“I’m having a blast, but I’m feeling my age.”
That made her chuckle. “You can’t be any older than I am.”
“Sure, but those kids are putting me to shame. I’m twenty-four, by the way.”
“You’re a year older than I am.”
Here it came. He might as well say it before she—who had completed a master’s program—did. “You’re doing the math, aren’t you, and wondering why I’m still working for my bachelor’s.”
“Maybe a little.”
“I was a slow starter.”
“I doubt that. I saw you playing basketball with the kids. You moved pretty fast.”
She saw that? Cool. He took that as a sign. “Sure, when it comes to b-ball. But other things have taken me a little longer to get right.”
“I know how that is.” She smiled again, and the sweetness just beamed around her like sunlight. She leaned a little closer to him, as if interested in his answer. “Did you have a hard time deciding what to do with your life, too?”
“For a long time.” Now would be the right time to be totally honest, to just come clean. He opened his mouth to tell the truth, but the words lodged somewhere deep in his chest, near his heart.
If she knew what he’d done and who he used to be, what would she think? Would she scoot away from him? Try to avoid him the next time she saw him? Would the friendliness in her luminous eyes fade forever, because she saw him differently?
He couldn’t say the words. He didn’t know if he was afraid to, or if they were just stuck between his ribs and wouldn’t budge.
“What’s so hard,” she said quietly, “is when you think you know where you’re going, but life throws you a serious roadblock.”
“Been there.” Again, he thought about his life before he’d been saved. About the path he’d been on. Thank God for roadblocks. He took a bite of pizza. “I used to have things all figured out. When I was fifteen, thought I knew it all and believe me, that wasn’t a good thing. I was making tons of poor choices.”
“Who doesn’t when we’re teenagers?” She took another sip of lemonade and put the cup down thoughtfully.
“You? Make mistakes? I don’t believe it.”
“Now you’re being too kind.” She couldn’t look at him, but glanced at the table of twelve-year-old girls chattering together or talking on their phones. “I’ve made so many mistakes, mostly because I couldn’t see with my own eyes what was wrong. Even when I was warned.”
Chad wondered about what Ephraim said this morning, about Rebecca’s former boyfriend. Sympathy tugged at his heart. “That was my problem, too. I had friends telling me that what I was doing was going to catch up with me. That I was hanging with some other kids I didn’t think were so bad. I didn’t listen.”
“I understand. I’ve been there. I just couldn’t see.” She shrugged, jostling her long locks of hair, looking sad.
So sad. He couldn’t help but be affected. He wished he knew her well enough to know what to do to comfort her. It wasn’t right that she’d been hurt by a bad relationship, although he knew, too, what that was like. “Been there. I was seeing this girl, I thought she was fun and different from the kind of sheltered life I led.”
“It was a bad relationship for you?” Her hand stilled, her piece of cheese pizza an inch above the plate. “Did you know it at the time?”
“Maybe there was that little voice inside me—you know the one—it was telling me to listen. It’s tough to admit, but I just didn’t want to.”
“Did she break your heart?”
“No, she bruised it pretty bad, though. It was my life she broke.” Again, there was the truth right there, but it wouldn’t roll off his tongue. Maybe talking about the past just hurt too much. “Nothing was the same after that, and not in a good way.”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” Empathy made her more beautiful. It was easy to see that Rebecca McKaslin had a good heart. She set her half-finished piece of pizza back on her plate. “After you two had broken up, did you take time off from dating for a while?”
“You might say that. It was a long time until I had my life in order before I even tried dating again. That didn’t go well.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. See, it was different for me. I didn’t know the Chris everyone else did.” If only she was able to forget the year she’d met him. They’d been high school sweethearts. She’d gotten numb about a lot of things concerning the breakup, but it hurt to remember. It hurt to look back.
She’d made too many mistakes. Mistakes she regretted. “I was seventeen when the coolest guy in high school asked me to accompany him to one of his church functions. He went to a church across town, and when I learned he was a Christian, too, I was so thrilled. He was the captain of both the football and the baseball teams. He went to state three times.”
“Sounds like a guy who had everything going for him.”
She nodded. Chris had been just everything wonderful in her eyes. “He was fun and funny and he just seemed to take over my quiet life. It was like the sun came out one day when it had never shone before.”
Chad watched her, nodding slowly, as if he were starting to see.
Why she went on, she couldn’t say. She was a private person. She didn’t even talk about this stuff with her sisters. Maybe it was Chad’s dependable goodness. Maybe it was because she’d kept this bottled up for so long. “Sure, Chris had problems, but who doesn’t? Nobody’s perfect. He swept me off my feet and fell in love with me, and that was an answered prayer. It was all I ever dreamed of.”
“Sounds like you still care about this guy.”
“No. Yes. Not in the way that you think. Things didn’t go…well in the end. And that pretty much ended it for me. But that doesn’t mean that it’s easy. The hurt is all tangled up with the good stuff and the bad stuff.” She squeezed her eyes shut, as if looking in instead of out. “Love is complicated. When it ends, it’s even more so.”
She was a soft touch with a marshmallow center. He could just see how she must have felt. It would be easy to judge, easy to measure out what had happened in black-and-white. But he’d learned the hard way that life wasn’t like that, that she was right. Everyone had problems, most people did their best, and when relationships didn’t work out, the ending of them hurt like nothing else.
He could see how affable she was. Hers was a goodness that he would guess didn’t come and go, but remained even when the going got tough. She was no holiday Christian, and she was no fair-weather friend, either. It was his guess that she had a big, forgiving heart.
When she opened her eyes, she gave another shoulder shrug. “My sisters tell me that’s part of healing and moving on. But this love thing is painful when it ends.”
“It can be. I think that depends on the two people involved.”
She nodded, as if thinking that over. “I guess.”
“So this guy, he’s the one you were hoping to marry.” When she nodded once, he could see more of what she wasn’t saying. She had been deeply in love with him. She had wanted a future with him. That had to really have hurt her, especially remembering what Ephraim had said. “There went your dreams and life plan with him.”
“Not exactly. That makes me sound as if everything hinged on him. I was just hoping, is all.” It wasn’t sadness on her face so much as regret. She squared her shoulders, and that regret vanished. “And now I’m on a path I didn’t expect to have to turn onto.”
“Maybe it’s a better one.”
“Maybe.” She smiled at him, truly smiled.
Just at that second his heart clicked, and he was in like with her. How about that?
Chapter Four
Rebecca hadn’t taken two steps out the back door toward the parking lot when her cell phone rang. She was relieved it was one of her sisters calling. “Hello?”
“Hey there.” I
t was Lauren. Together, they were the closest in age and the youngest of the family. “Are you off work?”
“Yep.” What she was doing first, though, was scanning the parking lot for signs of Chad. She saw several other coworkers, whom she waved to as she headed toward her Honda parked in the shade of a giant maple tree, but she didn’t see him. Bummer. “How about you? Did Spence spring you from the joint yet?”
“Our big brother is one formidable boss.” Lauren said the words kindly, with warmth.
“Say no more, Lauren. I completely understand. It sounds like it was a tough day at the ranch.” The ranch, meaning the bookstore where Lauren was working until she found a job in her field.
“You know it.” Lauren had recently finished her degree in business in California and had come home to stay. “Plus, with the reconstruction going on next door, all I did was listen to hammers banging and drills whizzing all day long. Want to meet for a quick bite? Or a slow bite. I really don’t care which.”
“Sure, but no pizza.” She angled through the lot. “I’m pizza-ed out.”
“I need comfort food. Wait, I need Mexi-Fries.”
“Then there’s only one place to go. Mr. Paco’s Tacos.”
“Sounds perfect. I’ll meet you there in ten minutes?”
“It’s a plan.” Rebecca clicked off the call. She had five messages waiting. She hit the recent call list—Chris’s name and home number were at the top. Those messages were probably from him.
Great. She couldn’t ignore him forever, could she? Unless ignoring him was the best solution. Maybe that would make him go away for good. Who knew? She punched her remote and opened her car door. Heat wafted out like poison gas. Not even parking in the shade helped that any.
She eased onto the burning hot seats and turned the engine over. Scorching air breezed out of the vents and she unrolled the windows, waiting for the air-conditioning to cool. Since she was waiting, she might as well look around, right? It wasn’t as if she were really watching for Chad—only to find out how he had survived his first day. It was friendly, that was all.
Her phone gave a little chime. It was a text message from Danielle. She shaded the screen with her hand to read it.
Help!! Can U run errand? Call Kath.
Their oldest sister, the one on bed rest, must need something. She would call and find out. Yes, she typed on the tiny keys. No worries.
Thnx. Dani’s answer was almost instantaneous. I owe U.
It was no trouble at all. She was always happy to help. She took one last look around the lot—she wasn’t watching for Chad, really—and clicked on her seat belt. Since the air was almost cool now, she zapped up the windows and backed out of her space. She caught sight of a tall, broad-shouldered, blond man standing next to Marin’s SUV, talking earnestly with her.
She gave a little honk as she drove by—but it was a cheerful honk. She thought of those voice messages waiting on her phone and her heart felt heavy. It was nice not to have to worry about liking a guy, or dating or being in a relationship. She zipped out of the lot, looking forward to giving Katherine a call, spending some quality time with Lauren and eating nachos until she burst. Thinking of those five messages on her phone, probably all from Chris, she decided that tonight was going to be a man-free zone.
“Yo.” Ephraim nodded a greeting from the drink dispensers where he was filling a large plastic cup with soda. “Dude, we’re in luck. It’s two-fer taco night.”
“Two-fer?”
“Two for the price of one.”
“Oh, got it.” Growing up the way he did, he didn’t have a lot of experience with two-fers. He grinned and got into one of three lines at the order counter. It was a few minutes after five and already the place was packed.
“Order the Mexi-Fries and a side of nachos or you’ll be sorry. I spot a booth. Let me grab it while I can.”
“Okay.” Chad stepped forward in line. He checked out what other people had ordered as they walked away from the counter with their bright blue trays. The food looked fresh and plentiful, and his stomach rumbled. The afternoon had been tough on him. He needed to refuel.
After he’d ordered, paid and filled his cup with root beer, he carried his tray to the booth where Ephraim was reading the paper, waiting for him. He realized he didn’t have any salsa. He must have missed the salsa bar entirely. He wove through the tables toward the front and spotted the stand where ten different sauces and various garnishes separated the ordering area from the eating area. Then he spotted someone else—Rebecca McKaslin.
Wow. Talk about coincidence—or divine intervention. She was standing in line getting ready to order, talking to a woman about her same age. They were quietly laughing together, and this was a different side of Rebecca than he had seen before. She was a little brighter, more relaxed, and as sweetly merry as a dream. She flicked her ponytail over her slender shoulder and moved forward in line. The woman she was with came, too, and they ordered together. Probably a sister, he figured, remembering she had mentioned having several.
Yeah, it must be nice to have a close bond like that. He grabbed a couple of small plastic cups and started ladling salsa. Maybe if he’d had a brother he was close to, he would have had someone he really trusted to have kept him on the right path. Someone to do more constructive things with. It must be really great to have a large family, he thought as he spooned green salsa into another cup.
He tried not to watch Rebecca. He wasn’t a stalker or anything, but his gaze followed her as she carried the tray away from the counter. She looked around, scanning the crowd for an empty table while her sister took the cups to the drink dispensers. Any moment she was going to see him gawking at her. He couldn’t help it apparently, so gathered up the cups and looked up just as she spied him.
“Is this divine intervention or what?” She tossed him a sparkling smile that seemed to light up the room. “Then again, it is two-fer night. Wait until the burrito buffet night. That’s worth the crowd to come and partake.”
“I’ll have to remember that.” He didn’t know what a burrito buffet was, but he intended to find out. “Do you want to sit with us? We have a booth in the back. There’s plenty of room.”
“Since there are no available tables, I’ll take you up on your offer.”
That sounded like an excuse to him. There was an itty-bitty table near the door, but she seemed to be ignoring it. That made him happy enough to joke. “Great. You can even bring your sister along.”
“That’s mighty generous of you.” When she smiled like that, little dimples appeared in her cheeks.
Cute. It was hard not to notice that. He pivoted and balancing the four cups he’d filled, headed down the aisle with her. “As you can see, I survived the first day intact, even if I am stumbling from exhaustion.”
“That’s an exaggeration. I haven’t seen you stumble once.”
“Sure, but it feels that way.”
“Been there.” Rebecca glanced over her shoulder and nodded to her sister. “The first day every summer I come home and crash on the couch. I’m not even sure that I blink as I’m staring into space. So you are way ahead of me.”
“Yeah, I might be still up and walking around and blinking, but only just barely.”
They reached the table. Ephraim looked up from his paper and instantly started to fold it away. “Hey, Rebecca. Good to see you and Lauren. Hi, Lauren.”
“Hi. Oh, I forgot the straws.”
“Nope, I grabbed them with the napkins.” Rebecca slid the tray on the edge of the table but Lauren beat her into the booth, taking the spot across from Ephraim. They immediately started talking about the Bible study they were both in.
“I brought plenty of salsa,” Chad was saying as he sat down, “so we can all share. Or I’ll go up and get more if you want.”
“This will be good, thanks.” She unwrapped the paper on her straw, suddenly feeling a little nervous. Just then her phone began to jingle. She fished it out of the outside pocket on her purse and
checked the screen. “Ugh.”
“Chris?” Lauren whipped around to look at the screen, too. “How many times has he called today?”
“This will make number six.”
“He knows you’ve been at work. He’s just doing this to harass you.” Lauren pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes, looking concerned. “I can have Caleb talk to him. It might be a good step to take before you go through with getting a no-contact order.”
“He wants the attention.” Rebecca turned off the ringer and jammed her phone back into her purse. Across the table, both men were watching her with concern, too. This was not the time and place to discuss something so personal and painful. “It’s fine. No worries, really. Who wants to say the grace?”
“Ephraim,” Lauren and Chad said almost simultaneously.
Ephraim shrugged. “Sure. No problem. Rebecca, if you have any trouble you know you can call us, right? We’re right next door.”
“That’s right,” Chad seconded. “We’re a few steps away. One call and we can be there in a second.”
“Thanks, but there isn’t going to be any trouble. My brother made sure of that.” She had a lot of faith in Spence, who had intervened on her behalf before. But it was a comfort to hear she wasn’t alone and that she had friends who would stand by her. She clasped her hands and bowed her head.
“Lord, please bless this food and our fellowship as we gather in Your name. Amen.”
“Amen.” Rebecca opened her eyes and what was the first thing she saw? Chad. He was more handsome every time she saw him. It was hard not to notice the friendly slant of his eyes and the way he radiated honesty, which complemented the strong-shouldered dependable impression he gave.
Not that she was interested, of course, but it was hard not to notice or admire. She unfolded a paper napkin from her tray and spread it on her lap. A man of good quality was rare in this world—okay, not so rare, but not exactly an everyday occurrence, either. Maybe that was simply her past experience talking.