by Jillian Hart
It was morning, and Chad had a long list of things to get done for the day. He pondered that list as he folded the top of the cereal box and stuck it in the cupboard. Sure, he had practical things to get done, like showing up for the first day of his new job on time. Run a few errands on the way home from work. But he had one less-than-practical item on that list, and that was to find out more about his lovely neighbor, Rebecca McKaslin.
Ephraim would know. Chad grabbed the carton out of the fridge. Whatever he did, he had to bring her up casually, otherwise his esteemed roommate would leap to conclusions—premature ones. He poured milk over his breakfast cereal. He had learned to be cautious in relationships. It was best to start off slow. Whatever he did, he had to act as though gorgeous, nice-looking Rebecca was no big deal.
He was just curious. That was all. Nothing wrong with that, right? He closed the milk’s top and returned it to the refrigerator, not quite sure what he was feeling. Definite curiosity, he decided as he shut the door and went digging through the nearest drawer for a spoon—he was in luck. There was one clean one left.
He shoveled cereal into his mouth, leaning with his back against the counter. Rebecca. What would she think about him if she knew his truths? Would she be understanding? Or would she do her best to avoid him?
The shame of his past mistakes still stung, and it was a harsh sting. There was nothing he could do about that. The past couldn’t be changed—not even God could manage that. All Chad could do was his best with today. To keep making the right choices, which he’d been doing just fine for a long time, now. Living the right way was a lifelong commitment, one he took seriously.
What were the chances that a nice, great girl would see that?
He feared he already knew. Probably close to zilch. He had to try anyway. Asking a few questions wouldn’t hurt, right? And he was only curious, that was all. At least, that was his story and he was sticking to it. “Hey, Ephraim.”
“Yo.” Ephraim looked up from his morning newspaper. Sunlight streamed through the window onto the secondhand dinette set and winked off his nearly empty glass of orange juice. “You need directions to the church?”
“Nope. I swung by there last night.” This morning was the start of his new job—volunteer all the way—and that’s what he ought to be thinking about. But was he?
Nope. Not a chance. Chad chewed and swallowed. How did he best go about sounding casual? “I met the girl next door.”
“Oh, Elle?”
Whoever Elle was, she made Ephraim jerk up from his paper. Interesting. “Nope. Must be the neighbor on the other side.”
“Oh, sure. Rebecca.” Ephraim’s attention went back to the business section. “She moved in a few months ago. I think she’s renting the place from her sister. That’s about all I know. She’s a graduate student, in, ah…can’t remember what she told me. English, maybe?
“Why, you interested?” Ephraim turned the page with a newspapery crinkle.
Chad shrugged. Since he valued honesty, silence was the best policy. He polished off his cereal, slurped the dregs of the milk and loaded the bowl and spoon into the dishwasher. Just in time, too, judging by the clock. “I’m outta here.”
“Want to swing by for tacos tonight?” Ephraim’s attention hadn’t returned to his paper. “I highly recommend Mr. Paco’s Tacos for their nachos.”
“See you there around five?” Chad grabbed his keys from the counter. His sneakers squeaked on the linoleum as he headed to the door.
“She’s got a boyfriend.” Ephraim’s words brought him to a screeching halt.
“A boyfriend?” Chad pounded back into the kitchen. Hadn’t Rebecca said she didn’t have one? He distinctly remembered it.
“Or, at least she had one.”
Yep, that was it. He had to remind himself to act casual. “She might have mentioned that.”
“The guy wasn’t so nice. Now I remember.” Ephraim folded up his newspaper, as if he were planning to take it to work with him. “There was an incident a while back. Her big brother—and I’m talking this guy is big—came and hauled the boyfriend out into the parking lot and held him until the cops came.”
“You mean, like he tried to hurt her?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. It was a bad scene. It’s too bad, too, because she’s a nice girl. A great neighbor. Quiet, and I hardly ever see her.”
All bonuses to quiet, bookish Ephraim. Chad’s guts tightened up. He got a bad feeling, and he didn’t like it. He loathed guys who thought it was okay to control women. Sure, he knew what it was like to make a mistake, but he’d been fifteen at the time and he had been hurt the most. Not that that was justification—he’d learned his lesson, he’d paid for his crime and he was a different man now. “She wasn’t hurt, was she?”
“No, I would have remembered that.” Ephraim stood and lifted his briefcase from the floor, where it leaned against the wall already packed for the workday. “She didn’t deserve that. No one is nicer. My car was in the shop a while back and she let me ride with her to church and even dropped me off at work and school for a few days.”
That sounded like his impression of her. Chad juggled the keys in his hand, considering. He didn’t dare say more. It was best to go slow on this, get to know her more, figure out if he had a chance at all with her first. He’d had a few hard rejections over the past three years, so it wasn’t as if he were going to ask her out or anything. Maybe it was worth getting up his courage to get to know her. He’d pray on it.
Not that he wanted Ephraim, or anyone to know how he felt about things. He headed to the door. “I’ll see ya tonight.”
“Sure.”
When the garage door chugged open, he was greeted with rain falling from a slate sky. Not the best weather for day camp. As he navigated the short distance to the gray stone church on a pleasant tree-lined street, he sure hoped Pastor Marin had a lot of indoor activities planned or his first day as a counselor would be a challenge. Not that he minded challenges, he thought as he pulled into the lot and into the first available space he came to.
Well, this was it. Rain dappled him as he locked up. The doors to one of the auxiliary buildings behind the church were opened wide to welcome the day campers in out of the weather. He caught sight of two women standing beneath the awning, with clipboards in hand.
One of them, squinting at him in surprise, was his gorgeous next-door neighbor, Rebecca McKaslin.
Chapter Three
Rebecca couldn’t believe her eyes. Chad Lawson strode through the gray sheets of rain in the parking lot like a hero through the mist. He seemed untouched by the downpour and unruffled by the wind. Something about him made him appear extraordinary. Simply from seeing him, from having him near, the stress of the morning slid from her shoulders like rain from the roof.
No one, except her family members, had ever made her feel so calm.
Marin, the church’s youth pastor, leaned close, so her voice wouldn’t carry. “Here’s someone I want you to meet, now that you’re a free and single woman.”
Uh-oh. “Why does everyone think I need to start dating?”
“Because you deserve a great guy to love you, that’s why. And speaking of one—”
Rebecca rolled her eyes. Good grief. Marin’s newlywed happiness had sadly affected her brain. She loved her pastor, but Marin was looking at relationships through rose-colored glasses. And why wouldn’t she? She was blissfully happy. All it took was one look to see it.
Good for her, right? Rebecca firmly denied any wistful feelings. Some people were just especially blessed in the love department. How could they understand someone who wasn’t?
Visions of Marin’s future matchmaking efforts flashed before Rebecca’s eyes. Time to do damage control before that could possibly happen. She had to be clear, firm and assertive. “I’m not interested.”
“That sounds like a snap decision to me. Maybe you want to think about it.” Marin looked so sure about that.
And why wouldn’t she be
? Any single woman in her right mind would want to think about Chad Lawson. And wasn’t that just the problem? She had a No Man policy. It was safer. It was smarter. “I refuse to think about it.”
“You never know, he could be the right man for you.”
“Yeah, but more likely he isn’t. No matter how great he is, because that’s my luck.” Rebecca rolled her eyes. Just what she needed, her pastor, who was also one of her sister’s best friends trying to set her up. “I’m on a vacation from romance of any kind.”
“A vacation? I’ve never heard of such a thing.”
“Like you didn’t date for a long time?”
“Yeah, well it was different for me. I wasn’t on vacation as much as I couldn’t catch anyone. Until my Jeremy came along, of course. Just because you split up with Chris and it didn’t end well, that doesn’t mean you should rule out dating forever and ever—”
“And this coming from the woman who dubbed the different phases of dating, one of them being, the doom phase.”
“That was before I met Jeremy.”
“Excuses, excuses. Believe me, I’m sure about this. Now he’s coming closer, so—” Rebecca didn’t know how to say it kindly. “No more romance talk. We’ve got kids coming in a few minutes.”
“Sure. Fine. I can take a hint.” Marin was smiling a little too widely to be believable.
What was she going to do with everyone? What did she have to do to convince them that she really was fine? Well, as fine as she could be?
Rebecca focused on her clipboard, aware of the slight slap of Chad’s steps coming closer. Marin meant well, sure, but she had forgotten what it was like to be single and wish things were different. To wish you, yourself, were different.
She managed what she hoped was a bright welcome. “Chad. I’m pretty shocked to see you bright and early on a Monday morning. You’re not a member, are you?”
“I’ve been here a couple of times when I was visiting my aunt and uncle. They attend the earliest service. I could barely hold my eyes open.”
“I try to avoid that one if I can or I’m constantly yawning, no matter how hard I try not to.” There she went, yakking on with him again. He was incredibly easy to talk to. “If you’re looking for Pastor Michaels, you’ve just missed him. He left for a meeting.”
“No, I’m where I’m supposed to be. Hi, Marin. I’m here on time, reporting for duty.”
For duty? The clipboard slipped from her hands and hit the concrete with a stunned clatter. How embarrassing. She knelt to retrieve it but Chad was already there, rescuing it with capable-looking hands. Now, why did she notice something like that?
“Here you go.” His smile was genuine. There was that sense of calm again, a steady light in his dark blue eyes. “Are you one of the volunteers, too?”
“No, they actually pay me to have fun with the kids all day.” She took the clipboard he offered her. “Thanks. Again.”
“No problem.”
Why were her knees shaky when she rose? That was a good question. Rebecca straightened the pen, still clipped to the board, needing to look at something other than Chad. She could feel his gaze on her like damp on the wind. Surely he was just surprised to see her, that was all.
Marin was grinning ear to ear. “Since it seems that you two know each other, Chad, take this clipboard and help check in the kids when they start arriving. I’m going to leave you in Rebecca’s able hands.”
“I don’t know about able.” Rebecca shook her head. That Marin, she was always so optimistic and complimentary. Chad was so going to get the wrong idea. “I’m lucky you guys put up with me.”
Marin chuckled as she walked away. “Don’t listen to her, Chad. She’s invaluable around here.”
Rebecca rolled her eyes. “Marin is the invaluable one. I’m just hard to get rid of.”
“So, have they tried and you just wouldn’t leave?” Chad winked at her.
Charming, absolutely charming and she really should not be noticing that. “I’ve been here every summer since I was fifteen. I started volunteering in the church’s day care and it worked into this.”
“You’ve been here ever since? That’s some serious commitment. They must really like you.”
“I’m the one who really likes it here. The kids are great.” She really was surprised how she was just herself around him. It was refreshing. Oh, the dowel. She’d forgotten to thank him. “I found the dowel on my porch. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem. I had to stop by the hardware store anyway to pick up a few things.” He gave a humble shoulder shrug. “It was no trouble.”
“It was still very thoughtful.” Rebecca couldn’t believe it. Chad Lawson just kept seeming nicer and nicer. “How about you? Why are you here?”
“Why not? My aunt told me about all the programs here and I thought I would get involved. I’m planning on going to seminary after I finish at the university.”
“Montana State? I go there. What are you studying?”
“I’m transferring there. I’m majoring in both religion and psychology. I hope to have a job like Marin’s one day. What’s your major?”
Here’s where it got tough. It was the big question everyone wanted to know. She glanced up to see if any kids were running up to interrupt—and rescue her—yet, but no, there was nothing but the steady patter of the rain. “I just finished my master’s degree in English and I’m currently debating going back for my Ph.D.”
“Wow. That’s great. What kind of job are you going to get with that?”
Yep, there it was. The million-dollar question. “No idea. I just like going to school.”
At least that made him smile, and she got to see his friendly, handsome grin again. The sight was enough to make her smile. While talking with him, it was easy to forget how the big plans she had for her life weren’t working out the way she thought. God seemed to be leading her in another direction entirely, but where, exactly? “I’ve never been interested in having a big career.”
“You never wanted to grow up and be anything?”
She studied him. It wasn’t as if there was anything to lose by telling him the stark truth. “I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom. Maybe that’s not politically correct these days, or easy in this economy, but I just loved growing up the way I did. I wanted to be like my mom. To just be happy spending my time taking care of the people I love.”
And before he could panic, thinking she was looking for a man to marry and support her, as Chris had finally accused her, she went right on with the truth. “I’m starting to see that’s not going to happen for me. That’s why I might keep going on with school. I have to believe the good Lord knows where I’m going. Although that sounds easier than it is.”
“I know, believe me.” Chad resonated kindness. Still masculine and strong, calm and reassuring, but there was a goodness to him. He was more than nice; he was empathetic and mature. “That’s faith. To keep putting one foot in front of the other when it feels like you’re in the pitch dark, trusting the Lord to guide you in the right direction.”
That was it exactly. “You sound as if you’re speaking from personal experience.”
“I am.”
“I don’t mean to pry, but did it work out all right for you, walking in the dark and trusting?”
“So far so good. I’ll let you know when I get where God is leading me.”
“It’s to a very good place, I’m sure.”
“I am, too.” He smiled. He was seeing more in her by the minute. She was grounded and faithful and real.
Before he could ask her anything more, a red minivan pulled to a stop at the curb. The side door slid open and two grade-school-aged kids leaped out, backpacks in hand. They shouted goodbye to their mom behind the wheel, who waited, windshield wipers flapping as the girl and boy splashed their way up the walkway.
Looked as though the workday had started.
Talk about a busy day. With so many kids split up into age-appropriate activities, it was a mys
tery to him how he kept seeing Rebecca all through the morning.
Not that either of them had a single second to do more than say hi—he was with the older boys and she was with the older girls—but it was nice seeing a friendly face. Other than Ephraim and his aunt and uncle, he didn’t know anyone else in all of Bozeman, unless it was Marin, whom he’d met when he’d signed up as a volunteer. So at noontime, when he spotted Rebecca sitting at a table in the dining area with her lunch spread before her, he headed straight for her, tray and all.
“Mind if I sit with you?”
She startled, turning to look at him over her shoulder with her wide honest eyes. The morning of activities had tangled her long locks of brown hair and she seemed glad to see him. “Are you run ragged yet?”
“Yep. I’m beat and the day’s half-over.” He plopped his plate on the table, keeping an eye on the tableful of twelve-year-olds he was in charge of. The boys were snarfing up pizza and slurping down lemonade as if they were refilling their tanks, recharging for the rest of the afternoon.
Joy. He slid onto the bench near to her and took the time to bow his head for a quick grace. He looked up to find her watching him and waiting for him to finish what he’d been saying. “I’m not sure I can make it through the rest of the day. I’m short on stamina.”
“You? Hardly. You look like the type who is in great cardiovascular health, unlike me who avoids the gym with a passion.”
He blinked. Wow. He had just discovered that it was impossible to think and look into her pretty eyes at the same time. He did his best to keep his thoughts from scrambling. “You don’t like sports?”
“Sure. It’s exercising I don’t like. Treadmills. Weight machines and reps.”
“I like the discipline of it.”
“Oh, you’re one of those.” She studied him over the rim of her cup. “I’m surprised you’re eating pizza and not soybeans or something.”
He caught the amused sparkle in her eyes. “I’m not a total health nut. I used to be, but I missed the pizza. And Popsicle treats. Maybe I should have stuck with the health food and I would have more stamina. Those kids have worn me out.”