Straight from the Hart

by Tracie Banister

  “I can’t stand the suspense anymore. Just tell me where we’re going,” Alex urges from the passenger seat of my BMW.

  “No! It’s a surprise. Exercise some patience.”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him surreptitiously reaching for his cellphone, which he placed in the door bin on his side when he got into the car.

  “And don’t you dare Google destinations along this route!” I order. “We’ll be there soon enough.”

  “How soon exactly?” He tries to wheedle more information out of me.

  I chuckle. “You’re getting nothing from me.”

  Normally, his impatience and need to be in control of the situation would annoy me, but I am still feeling very zen from the hours we spent in a private poolside villa at the spa. I’ll admit I was a little uptight at first about taking off my clothes and getting treatments in the same space as Alex, but the villa, with its soft lighting and mellow music, plus the presence of our two masseuses soon put me at ease. In their expert hands, we got a pear and green apple body polish followed by foot reflexology and an aromatherapy massage, which really helped to expel the remaining tequila toxins from my body. The last remnants of my hangover headache and nausea were gone by the time it was done. We were left alone in the villa with sparkling cider and chocolate-dipped strawberries for “couple time,” and I was so blissed out I promptly fell asleep on the massage table. I’m sure the Js will find a more romantic way to make use of that villa and all its amenities, including a large Roman tub, but I found that nap to be every bit as mood-elevating as good sex.

  After my snooze, Alex and I took an invigorating dip in the pool (with our swimsuits on!), then returned to our suite where we got cleaned up and ordered enchiladas from room service for dinner, which we ate out on our beautiful patio as the sun was setting. When I announced I had plans for a joint outing this evening, Alex was intrigued, especially when I told him he didn’t have to change out of his casual clothes—boat shoes, khaki shorts, and an olive green tee with the Mission Inn logo on its front.

  “This is our exit!” I declare cheerfully as I maneuver my car onto the off-ramp leading to Van Buren Boulevard.

  A couple of lefts later, I pull into a driveway that circles past a colorful marquee.

  “A drive-in!” Alex yelps, excitedly pointing at the mural of an orange ranch along with the theater’s name that’s painted on the back of an old screen tower facing the road. “I haven’t been to one of these since I was a kid and my brothers would hide me in the trunk so they could sneak me into R-rated movies at the drive-in in the next county over.”

  I smile because I remember this story. Alex’s lifelong crush on Jennifer Love Hewitt started when he saw her in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer at the drive-in when he was eleven. I suspect it was her D-cups in all of those tight and/or low-cut tops that made such a lasting impression. Being exposed to them for two straight hours was probably what propelled him into puberty!

  “We’ll be seeing something romantic, not scary tonight,” I say as I pull up to the ticket booth, which is being manned by a pimply-faced teen who’s texting on his phone. “Two for La La Land,” I tell him.

  “Twenty bucks,” he replies in a disinterested voice, sticking out the hand he’s not using to type without bothering to make eye contact.

  “Can you hand me my—” Alex slaps his AmEx Business Platinum Card down on my palm before I can finish asking him to give me my purse.

  “Thanks.” I pass the credit card along to the kid.

  “This used to be an orange ranch back in the day, hence the branding,” I share the history on this theater while driving us to the parking area for our movie. “They hold a swap meet here during the day.”

  “Multi-functional. Smart.” Alex nods his approval of the owner’s business acumen.

  “I’m renting out the whole place for one night of the Js’ stay in Riverside. I thought it would be a fun slice of Americana for them to enjoy together. I’ve arranged to have the theater show a double feature of Time and Time Again along with The Princess Bride just for them.” Having found a great spot about halfway back from the screen right in the middle, I stop the car.

  “The movie that they fell in love on and a film that’s central theme is love conquers all. Nicely done,” Alex commends me.

  “Can you believe Jax has never seen The Princess Bride?”

  “Inconceivable!” Alex declares with a humorous twinkle in his eye.

  “I know, right? It’s only one of the most epic, hilarious, romantic movies of all time. I’m surprised Jax’s SAG card hasn’t been revoked due to that oversight.”

  “Shhhh!” Alex puts his finger to his lips. “Don’t give them any ideas.” He glances around, pretending to be nervous that there are spies from the Screen Actors Guild hanging out in the parking lot who might have heard me.

  I chortle. “How do you feel about sitting outside to watch the movie? I had the hotel stash a portable radio and blanket in the trunk, and it’s such a nice night.” All around us, people are setting up camp chairs in front of their vehicles, or opening up the backs of their SUVs where they’ve got comfortable arrangements with pillows and blankets and coolers to store their drinks in.

  “Works for me. I can hit up the snack bar while you’re putting everything together. Any special requests?”

  “Just popcorn.”

  He gives me a thumbs-up and exits the car while I pop the trunk and get out what we’ll need for our outdoor movie-viewing experience. I spread the blanket over the hood of my BMW and turn the radio to the FM station the movie will be broadcast on. Hearing a ding inside the car, I realize I didn’t turn my phone off, which will be obnoxious if it keeps making noises after the movie starts. So I reach through the open window of the car, pull the device from my purse, and lean back against the door to read the last incoming text.

  Several minutes later, I hear, “I know I went a little nuts, but I just couldn’t resist— Oh, no.” Alex stops in front of me, his voice full of concern. “What happened? Did you get some bad news? Is your family okay?”

  I raise my leaking eyes to see Alex clutching an extra-large bucket of popcorn topped by several boxes of candy to his chest, with a super-sized slushie and flash pop in each hand, a couple of glow-in-the-dark necklaces hanging around his neck and an LED tiara flashing the color pink perched on his blond head.

  I laugh, brushing away the tears on my cheeks. “Were you planning on going to a rave later?”

  “Word around the snack bar is that things get pretty wild here after the movie ends.” Alex waggles his eyebrows. “The crown’s for you.” He lowers his head, offering it to me.

  I take the cheap bling and nestle it among the curls that are piled atop my head.

  “All hail the Queen of the Drive-In!” Alex attempts to bow, but he’s too loaded down with loot from the snack bar to bend over.

  “This was sweet. Thank you,” I say, sniffling.

  “I’ve got napkins in my pocket.” Alex twists around and I can see the white paper sticking out of the slit in the side of his shorts.

  I help myself to one and wipe my runny nose with it.

  “You still haven’t told me what you were crying about, and I’m not sharing this popcorn that’s got no butter and extra salt until you do.”

  He remembered how I like my popcorn? The man’s mind really is like a steel trap!

  “They weren’t sad tears,” I assure him. “I had just watched a video Cole sent me of this proposal I planned. It happened at Urban Light earlier this evening, and everything turned out perfectly. The setting was dreamy, Craig’s proposal was charmingly dorky just like him, and Melinda was absolutely thrilled.” My voice catches on the last word, and my eyes well up. “I’m just so happy for the two of them.” The tears start flowing in earnest again, and I dab at my face with the napkin, hoping my eye makeup isn’t pooling up.

  “You must be a mess at weddings,” Alex teases with an affectionate twitch of hi
s lips. “Good thing Eli got married after we broke up.” Eli is the second eldest Farr brother who’s six years Alex’s senior.

  “Oh!” I brighten up. “Did he finally make it official with Bonnie?” She was Eli’s live-in girlfriend the whole time Alex and I were dating. I hung out with them when they came to LA for a visit and thought they were a great couple.

  “Uh . . . no. Bonnie broke up with him to take a job in Chicago. A few weeks later he met Lana in the hospital cafeteria, and they got married like six months later.”

  I punch Alex in the arm. “You Farr men are all the same! Get a girl’s hopes up, then leave her hanging, so she has to dump you and move on.”

  “Ow!” Alex winces in pain although my fist bounced right off his triceps muscle, so I doubt he even felt it. “I said Eli married Lana, didn’t I? And they’re much more compatible than he and Bonnie ever were. He’s a hematologist and she’s a phlebotomist—all they do is talk about funky blood diseases and they love every minute of it!”

  “And what about poor, heartbroken Bonnie?”

  He shrugs. “Last I heard she’s loving Chi-Town and was recently promoted to Vice President of French Fries at McDonald’s headquarters.”

  I roll my eyes at him before asserting, “That’s not a real job.”

  “Yes, it is, and a very important one too. Bonnie reports directly to Mayor McCheese.” Alex does his best to keep a straight face when telling me this, but fails miserably.

  Crossing my arms over my chest, I say, “Mayor McCheese isn’t involved in the corporate world; he’s a career politician. If she’s as high up in the company as you claim, Bonnie should be reporting to Ronald himself.”

  Alex snorts. “You got me. Clearly, I don’t understand the hierarchy at McDonaldland as well as you do. Now could you please take this popcorn? My non-injured arm is going numb.”

  I relieve him of the bucket that’s twice the size of my head and squeak with delight when I get a better look at the candy piled on top of the kernels. “You got Twizzlers!”

  “Yeah, you’re the only weirdo on the planet who prefers black licorice to red, so there’s no telling how old that box is. Probably been here since the place opened in the early sixties.”

  I stick out my tongue at him before ripping open the box and pulling out one of the chewy, twisted sticks of candy. I’m tearing off a bite with my teeth when all of the radios in the theater come to life and previews start playing on the screen, which is our cue to get into position on top of the car.

  We place the food and drinks on the hood first so that we won’t have any accidents while climbing up. Flattening my hands on the car, I try to figure out how to hoist myself up without flashing a butt cheek to the people behind us. Maybe wearing this cotton-gauze playsuit to a drive-in wasn’t the smartest idea since it’s short and loose-fitting on the bottom, but I thought the cute, sleeveless garment would breathe well and keep me cool in this warm weather—also the burnt-orange color looks amazing with my hair. I’m just about to throw caution to the wind and scramble up when Alex scoops me up in his arms and gently sets me down on the blanket.

  “Thanks,” I whisper, my hands still wrapped around his neck.

  “No problem,” he says with a smile before releasing me and scooting around to the other side of the car where he climbs up and settles into the spot next to me. We lean back against the windshield and I grab a handful of popcorn while Alex slurps on his slushie.

  “I’m excited to finally see this movie all the way through to the end,” I tell Alex in a hushed tone while crunching on my salty snack.

  “Wha—Ack! Brain freeze!” Alex clutches his head. “How can you not have seen the end of this movie?” he asks.

  “I don’t know. I guess I missed it at the theater and I always seem to get interrupted whenever it’s on cable and I try to watch. It’s such a romantic story. I’m sure it ends happily with Emma and Ryan singing and dancing their way into the sunset.” I exhale a dreamy sigh. I love movies like this.

  “Nessa, there’s something you should—”

  “Shhhhhhh! It’s starting!” I point to the screen as the film opens with a sight familiar to all Angelenos—a traffic jam on an overpass with the sun burning brightly overhead.

  CHAPTER 38

  Two-plus hours later I feel emotionally wrung out. I fell in love right along with Mia and Sebastian and rode the roller coaster of their relationship from first kiss to heart-wrenching breakup. Now I’m watching the final fantasy sequence of what might have been between the two of them if they hadn’t gone their separate ways and I’ve got a huge lump in my throat. When Mia shares a bittersweet, parting smile with Sebastian, then walks away with her husband, I’m stunned. How can the movie end like this? Mia and Sebastian are relationship goals. They belong together!

  I sit through the credits, hoping there will be an alternate ending or Emma and Ryan will pop up to tell the audience not to worry because they’re working on a sequel where their characters will reunite and all will be well in La La Land, but nope. That’s it. I just invested several valuable hours of my life in a fictional world where true love didn’t win.

  Gathering up the empty popcorn bucket, my sweaty slushie cup, and the half-eaten box of Twizzlers, I take them to a nearby trash can and toss everything in, then return to the car and climb in the passenger side, conveying to Alex that I’m not up for driving. He stows the blanket and radio in the back and settles himself in the seat to my left. As he’s extending a hand to push the car’s start button, I can’t contain my anger anymore.

  “I can’t believe that movie won Best Picture! I want to demand a refund. I want to hunt down the screenwriter and give him a swift kick to the nuts.”

  “How do you know the screenwriter’s a man?” Alex asks.

  Whipping my head to the side, I shout, “Of course, it’s a man! No woman would write such a travesty of an ending. No woman would spit in the face of love like that.”

  Alex’s brow furrows with confusion. “Love has a face? I thought it was a heart.”

  “I was speaking figuratively! Would you just drive?” I flap a hand at the steering wheel.

  After securing my seatbelt, I stare out the windshield at the darkness, not saying anything for the entire ten-minute drive back to the hotel. Alex wisely doesn’t try to initiate conversation.

  The second my car rolls up to the Mission Inn’s valet stand, I jump out on to the curb and march toward the hotel’s entrance. Naturally, since it’s Saturday evening, aka date night, the courtyard is full of loved-up couples walking arm-in-arm, laughing, smiling, sharing affectionate glances and the occasional kiss, their blissful faces glowing in the moonlight. Seeing them makes a wave of such sadness and longing crash over me that I almost burst into tears. My emotions are all over the place tonight! And I can’t even blame it on my favorite scapegoat, PMS, since my time of the month has already come and gone.

  I reach the door of the hotel where a hotel employee with a basket of roses is stationed. She offers me one with a pleasant smile and even though I’m tempted to toss it on the ground and grind it beneath the sole of my brown leather slide, I resist the urge. This woman is just doing her job after all and I don’t want to take my foul mood out on her. Muttering a half-hearted thanks, I extend a hand to take the single bloom. Of course it’s red, the rose color that symbolizes passion, romance, and deep love—all the things my life is currently lacking.

  I grip the rose’s stem too hard and prick my index finger on a sharp thorn, which is a not-so-subtle reminder that love can be hurtful. I got it! Thanks, Universe! Not wanting to drip blood on my playsuit, I lift my wounded finger to my mouth and suck on it as I push open the door to the lobby with my shoulder.

  I’m halfway to the reception area when Alex jogs up next to me. “Here,” he says, fishing another napkin out of his pocket and handing it to me.

  Without breaking stride, I snatch the napkin and wrap it around my finger, so tightly that it starts to throb. We’re soon a
t the elevators and we luck out because one’s just arrived and as soon as it empties, Alex and I get on along with a young couple who are whispering and giggling, lost in their own little, romantic world. She reaches up to stroke his patchily bearded cheek and that’s when I see an engagement ring glittering on her left hand. It’s a cushion cut diamond accented by two smaller round diamonds on each side, a design that’s been very popular since Meghan Markle debuted the sparkler she got from Prince Harry a few years back.

  Catching the bride-to-be’s eye, I gesture at her ring and say, “It’s beautiful.”

  “Isn’t it?” she enthuses, cradling her hand lovingly to her cheek. “He did such a good job!” She beams at her future husband like he just brokered world peace or discovered the cure to cancer, and his cheeks redden with pleasure at the compliment.

  “I knew it was the perfect ring for you when I saw it,” he shares, looking at her besottedly.

  “This man!” she gushes, draping an arm over his shoulders and planting a loud smacker of a kiss on his cheek. She then starts playfully nibbling on his ear lobe and sliding her fingers between the buttons of his shirt so that she can touch his chest and I’d really like this elevator ride to be over.

  A ding lets us know we’ve arrived on our floor and I can’t get off fast enough, although I do offer my best wishes for a wonderful life together to the engaged pair before bolting. I’m standing outside our suite, rummaging for my key card in the outside pocket of my purse when Alex strolls up with his own card already in hand. I abandon my search and let him open the door.

  Once we’re inside the suite, I announce, “I’m over this night,” and head for the bedroom intent on hitting the sheets.

  “I think the reason you’re so upset about the movie and how it ended is because it reminded you of us.”

  Alex’s words stop me in my tracks. Is he seriously trying to head-shrink me? Because I get enough of that from my mother.

  Flinging my purse and the rose onto the loveseat next to the couch, I pivot to face him. “I’m upset because the movie pulled a bait-and-switch on me,” I say between gritted teeth. “I was expecting to see a lighthearted film about two attractive people doing the mating dance to a great soundtrack, overcoming any obstacles they encountered, and ending up in a happy, committed relationship for the rest of their lives. That’s what I paid ten bucks for!”