by Sadie Moss
When I woke, I was clutching two handfuls of soft fur, my face buried in a fuzzy neck. I sucked in a breath as tears streamed down my cheeks, trying to keep my sobs silent.
Rhys’s wolf turned to look at me, cocking his head as he took in my pale face. He blinked twice, then turned away and rested his head between his paws again.
After he’d approached me on the bed yesterday, he’d refused to let me leave his side. Every time I tried, he growled and whined, the sound so plaintive it tore my heart in two. Eventually, I’d ended up on the floor with him, the two of us nestled in a pile of blankets as we slept. The other three men had slept on the beds, although I could sense them keeping a wary eye on the two of us.
I guess I finally got my wish about getting a turn to sleep on the floor.
Too bad it was under such strained circumstances. I could practically feel the worry seeping from Noah, Jackson, and West. I knew so little about this world, and even less about being a shifter, but I didn’t need to know much to understand that this was bad.
I released the handfuls of thick gray fur I was clutching, smoothing my hands over his soft pelt.
“I’m sorry, Rhys,” I whispered, wishing I could go back to last night and change so many things.
Maybe if I’d dealt with the red-headed asshole myself, Rhys wouldn’t have lost control like that. I’d felt small and terrified, every bit of self-confidence I’d gathered in my life extinguished in a heartbeat by a stranger putting his hands on me like I was just a thing, an object for his entertainment.
But Rhys shouldn’t have been the one to challenge him. It should’ve been me. I shouldn’t need a man—or a wolf—to rescue me.
West climbed out of bed and crouched down beside the two of us, his concerned glance taking in Rhys’s wolf before flicking up to me. “You okay?”
I nodded. “What do we do now?”
“We wait.” His hand fell over mine, still pressed against the wolf’s side. “And you keep doing what you’re doing. I’m not sure how, but you’re grounding him. Keeping the last shreds of his humanity from being forced out by the wolf.”
My grip tightened again, sinking into Rhys’s fur. For a moment, West’s fingers interlaced with mine, connecting the three of us. Then he pressed a kiss to the top of my head and stood.
“Carl should have our new IDs ready soon,” he said softly. “Once they’re done, we’ll move out, no matter what. We can’t afford to stay here any longer. Who the hell knows what that guy at the bar might’ve told people. We can’t risk it.”
The next two days passed the way the previous several had, except the boredom and tension in the cramped room had ratcheted up a million notches. I was so on edge my skin felt tight around my muscles, like I was being shrink-wrapped. Rhys’s wolf grew more agitated, breaking away from me every once in a while to whine and scratch at the door. He didn’t like being trapped in this hotel room one bit, and I couldn’t help but wonder how long it would be before the last vestiges of Rhys disappeared from inside, leaving nothing but a wild animal.
Would it turn on us then? Would it attack?
I suppressed my fear as the large gray wolf padded back over to me where I sat on the floor against the wall, nudging my face with his cold nose. He curled up beside me again, and I traced my fingers through his fur, stroking long lines down his back.
He didn’t need us to be afraid of him right now. He needed us to believe in him.
Noah and Jackson went out to get food, but West wouldn’t leave Rhys’s side either. His dark eyes flashed with worry as he sat on the edge of one of the beds, staring at us.
We left the TV on all day, and when we all went to sleep on the second day—me on the floor again—Jackson turned the volume down a little, letting the murmur of voices and flickering blue light fill the dark room. I lay curled up next to the wolf, my head resting on his side. I could hear the deep inhales and exhales of his breath, hear him huff gently.
My eyes were just beginning to close when I felt something odd. A ripple beneath the surface of his skin, as if the bones were changing shape. My head snapped up, and I stared into the blue eyes that seemed to gleam in the darkness.
“Rhys? Please, come back.”
The rippling feeling came again, and this time I saw his eyes change. For a moment, they looked almost human.
“That’s it!” I whispered. “Please. I know you can do it.”
His entire body shuddered, and I sat up, leaning over him. I wished there was some way I could help, but all I could do was lend my silent support as Rhys struggled with the animal that had taken over.
The shift took longer than I’d ever seen, each step toward humanity taking a massive effort. But finally, the wolf’s fur receded. His limbs lengthened and shifted. His snout disappeared.
Rhys lay on the floor, his muscular body covered in a sheen of sweat. It was only after he’d finished the shift that I realized I was still hovering over him, so close my body was almost draped across his.
And he was completely naked.
For a moment that seemed to hang in the air for eternity, our gazes locked. A dark bruise shaded the right side of his face, but the blue of his irises shone bright even in the shadows.
I couldn’t decipher the emotions behind his eyes, couldn’t even untangle my own mixed up feelings. Relief blended with guilt, and underneath it all, there was an aching, quiet need. I wanted him to pull me into his arms—couldn’t stand the breath of air that separated our bodies.
He swallowed, his hands coming to rest on my hips. A web of electricity spread out from his touch as his grip tightened, lighting up my entire body.
“Rhys!”
West’s sleep-roughened voice came a second before he leapt out of bed, rushing over to us. He fell to his knees beside us, and I scrambled away from Rhys quickly. West helped him sit up, seeming completely indifferent to his nudity.
He pressed his forehead to Rhys’s, gripping the back of his neck. The disturbance woke Jackson and Noah too. They climbed out of bed and crouched beside me, watching their pack mates reunite.
Noah grabbed my hand and squeezed it, and I squeezed back, hard. Tears burned the backs of my eyes at the sight of these strong men bound together by something stronger than blood.
“Thank fuck, brother,” West murmured. “I thought we lost you.”
Chapter Nineteen
“That was Carl. IDs are ready.”
Noah pressed the end call button on his burner phone—a term I only understood because I’d watched a lot of TV at the Strand.
“Good. We need to get the fuck out of here.” Jackson stood, yawning and stretching.
It made the sculpted muscles of his arms and back do distracting things, and I wished like hell these guys slept in more than just shorts. It was hard to focus on anything else with them all on display like this.
After Rhys shifted back last night, the guys had insisted on giving me the bed again. Rhys had stayed on the floor, and West had joined him. I wasn’t sure either of them had slept after that. I’d caught them sitting shoulder to shoulder against the wall, murmuring together in soft voices. I found myself oddly envious, though I wasn’t sure exactly who or what I was jealous of. Did I wish Rhys would talk to me the way he opened up to West? Did I wish someone loved me as much as these two clearly loved each other? Maybe a little of both.
“I’ll go.” Rhys grabbed one of the packs from the corner of the room, rifling around inside it.
Jackson scoffed. “Uh, fuck no! Sorry, dude, but you’re not going anywhere on your own for a little while. Not ’til we know you’re solid.”
“I’ll go with him,” I blurted, the words flying out of my mouth before I could stop them.
Rhys hadn’t spoken to or looked at me since he shifted back. Whatever attachment his wolf had to me, the man himself definitely didn’t share it, and I hated that that fact broke my heart. But as awkward as it would be, I needed to thank him for what he’d done. His attempt to stand up for me had b
een the thing that pushed his wolf over the edge, and I wanted him to know I was grateful. But it would be a little easier to say the words if I could get a moment alone with him.
Jackson and Noah both looked at me a little skeptically, as if they weren’t sure I was the best option to protect Rhys. I couldn’t argue with that, but I didn’t rescind my offer.
West’s dark eyes flashed to me, and I thought I saw understanding in their dark brown depths. Maybe he knew why I’d volunteered, or maybe he thought if Rhys did shift, I had the best chance of calming him down.
He nodded sharply. “That works. Just be quick. We’ll get shit packed up and be ready to go as soon as you get back.”
The other two nodded grudgingly. Rhys didn’t say anything—apparently, he couldn’t even stand to speak to me long enough to argue against me going with him.
We headed out of the hotel in silence, walking through the lobby and hailing a cab to take us to Carl’s pawn shop. The ride over was quiet. I kept opening my mouth to say something and then chickening out.
When we arrived, Rhys shoved open the door and stalked toward the back of the shop, nodding curtly at the two men behind the counter as I trailed along in his wake. We found Carl in the back, perched on a stool and bent over his messy table. He hopped up when he saw us, brushing his hands off on his pants.
“Ah, Rhys! There you are! And you brought the president of your fan club again, I see.” Carl smirked in my direction, and a flush warmed my cheeks. I wasn’t even quite sure I knew what he meant. Were my feelings about Rhys that obvious? How could they be when I wasn’t even sure how I felt myself?
“Save it, Carl,” Rhys snapped. I jumped slightly, but the sharp-faced man just grinned wider. “Do you have everything?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Carl dropped his teasing demeanor, getting down to business. He walked around the large table and picked up a stack of small blue booklets. “Got passports and licenses for you all. And there’s a car out front. It’s clean.”
“Good.”
Rhys tugged two large rolls of cash from his pockets, tossing them over. Carl caught them deftly, giving them only a cursory glance before setting them on the table. Apparently, he trusted these guys enough not to count every bill before he let us leave. Honor among thieves, or however that saying went. He handed over the passports and a set of car keys, then stepped back, his gaze assessing.
“You know, kid, if you’re really in trouble, maybe I can help. More than just getting you back on the run, I mean.”
For a moment, Rhys’s face softened. I saw a flash of hope, but it was quickly drowned out by despair. He shook his head. “Thanks, Carl. But you can’t help.” Then he added softly, “I’m not sure anyone can.”
Carl’s face fell, and he smoothed over his slicked-back hair with one hand. “Yeah, I get it. Be safe, kid, all right?” He reached out, and the two men clapped hands. Then he jerked his chin toward me. “And take care of this one. She doesn’t look like she’s used to our world at all. That doesn’t mean she doesn’t belong in it, but she’ll need looking out for.”
I blinked. Where had that come from? He was scarily accurate about how out of my depth I was. But how the fuck did he know that? I was beginning to feel like an open book that’d had too many pages read by strangers.
Rhys stiffened, but he squeezed Carl’s hand before releasing it. “Yeah. You take care of yourself too, huh?”
Carl spread his arms, his cunning eyes playful. “When do I not?”
“Right.” Rhys chuckled, slipping the IDs into his pockets.
Then he nodded once in goodbye and led me back out through the store. Outside, he rifled quickly through the IDs before handing me a passport and license that bore my picture and the name Miranda Ney. As I tucked them into my pocket, he pressed a button on the key fob he held, making lights flash on a black truck halfway down the block. We hopped inside, and the engine roared to life.
My heart rate began to pick up as we drove back toward the hotel. This was it. My last chance to say something before we rejoined the others. My tongue felt thick in my mouth, but I finally forced my lips open.
“Thank you.”
Rhys’s blue gaze cut to me, but he didn’t speak.
“For the other night. For sticking up for me like that. I’ve never had anyone do that for me before, and I want you to know that I’m grateful. I like to think I can handle myself, but I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t come down the hall at that moment. So, thank you.”
I spewed out all the words I could think of in a torrent, then pressed my lips together again, my heart hammering in my chest as I waited for his response.
“Don’t thank me.” His voice was cool and hard. “It was a stupid mistake that could’ve gotten us all captured or killed. I lost control of my wolf.”
My stomach twisted. “I’m sorry.”
Rhys’s chin dropped slightly, but he didn’t look at me again. “Don’t be sorry either. It’s my own fucking fault.” His jaw clenched. “We shouldn’t have brought you with us. I knew it was a goddamn mistake. We need to stay focused and sharp, and we haven’t been either.”
“I didn’t mean to—”
“I said it’s not your fault.” He sighed. “After we escaped, we spent years searching for Sariah, and when we found that complex in Austin, we spent months planning how we’d get her out. It’s not your fault the whole thing went sideways in a hurry.” He cleared his throat, seeming to force the next words out. “It’s… not your fault she wasn’t there. But now we need to regroup, start searching again, make a new plan. We don’t need any distractions.”
His words cut deeper than I would’ve imagined possible. He wasn’t blaming me; he didn’t even seem angry at me. But hearing him admit point-blank that he wished I wasn’t here sent a sharp stab of pain through me.
“I don’t know.” He ran a hand through his loose black curls as he continued, seeming lost in his own thoughts. “Maybe we were wrong. Maybe you’re not a shifter. Hell, you might not even be one of us.”
My breath caught in my lungs. Not a wolf shifter? Was that possible? All the guys had seemed so sure I was when they dragged me out of the Strand complex.
Or was this just wishful thinking on Rhys’s part? He was so desperate to get rid of me, maybe he was just talking himself into an excuse to leave me behind.
To get rid of me.
As much as I wanted to trust these men, as much as I’d found myself growing attached to all of them—caring about all of them—I’d been right to be wary. No matter how the others might feel about me, their loyalty was to their pack first. And if I wasn’t even a wolf, how could I ever be part of that pack?
I ran my fingers over the edge of the passport in my hand, clinging to it like a lifeline.
At least I had this. Alexis Maddow might be utterly confused and scared out of her mind, but maybe Miranda Ney was stronger. Maybe she could find someplace to start over. To build a new life.
Alone.
Chapter Twenty
“Are we there yet?”
“Jesus fucking christ, Jackson, I will kill you if you ask that again.”
“He really won’t.” Jackson smirked at me, his lips curling up in the devilish smile I’d come to love so much. He punched the back of Rhys’s seat lightly. “He’s just a big softie on the inside.”
I had serious doubts about the accuracy of that statement, but I refrained from commenting. Then again, Rhys did seem to have a softer side where some people were concerned—I just wasn’t one of those lucky few.
“But seriously though,” Jackson added, poking his head around the side of the driver’s seat and grinning innocently at Rhys. “Are we there yet?”
Keeping his right hand on the wheel, Rhys threw a punch with his left, catching Jackson on the shoulder. The amber-eyed wolf shifter yelped, pulling away to slump beside me in the back seat.
“See? What’d I tell you? A total softy.”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
No matter how shitty my mood, Jackson could always pull some good humor out of me, even when I thought I’d lost it all.
My heart sank as I remembered that I wouldn’t get to bask in his radiant smile, or in Noah’s sweet presence or West’s dominating protectiveness for much longer. The passport and license practically burned a hole in my back pocket, a constant reminder of the course I had set for myself.
When we’d returned to the hotel, the guys had all been waiting outside. They’d piled into the truck—I’d taken the back seat with Jackson and Noah to make the fit a little less cramped—and we’d driven out of town immediately. I could’ve told them then to leave me behind, but I knew not all of them would’ve been willing to do it. And the one thought I couldn’t stand was that I might come between these men, these four bonded pack mates. They’d been through so much together, and I refused to be the thing that drove them apart.
So I wouldn’t give them a choice. I wouldn’t let them argue and fight amongst themselves about whether it was a mistake to bring me to the Lost Pack.
I would just leave.
My heart twinged with pain at the thought, and I nestled against Jackson’s side, as if trying to soak up some comfort and strength to take with me when I went.
Oblivious to my inner turmoil, he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, tugging me closer. He leaned over to whisper in my ear, his breath warming my skin.
“Next time, you ask him.”
I chuckled, but I definitely wasn’t doing that. Rhys had made his feelings about me perfectly clear, and the last thing I wanted to do was antagonize him more.
“We just left Nevada,” West shot over his shoulder from the front passenger seat. “So I’ll give you a hint. No.”
“Urgh!” Jackson rolled his eyes and stuck out his tongue, feigning death. Then he perked up, looking toward West. “How ’bout now?”
“This is gonna be a long fucking drive,” Rhys deadpanned.
“Yeah. This is why wolves don’t usually road trip.” West’s full lips parted on a grin, and Rhys actually cracked a smile in return.