Mixed Blessings

by Danielle Steel

  They were having three hundred people to the Oakmont Country Club for a reception afterward. Everyone would be there—her old school chums, her parents’ friends, distant relatives, people she knew from the magazine, Andy’s friends, and a host of people he had invited from the network. His closest friend from work, William Bennington, was going to be in the wedding. And a few of the stars he had worked closely with on their contracts were coming. His parents and all three of his brothers had come too. Nick, who’d been in Scotland, was working in London now, and Greg and Alex, the twins, were at Harvard Business School, but they had ail come. The twins were six years younger than Andy, who was thirty-two, and he had always been their hero. They were crazy about Diana, too, and she was looking forward to seeing more of them, to having them come out during vacations from school, or maybe even talking them into moving to California. But unlike Andy, the other Douglas boys preferred the East, and Greg and Alex thought they would probably wind up in New York or Boston, or maybe even in London, like Nick.

  “We’re not star-struck like our brother,” Nick had teased him good-naturedly the night before at the rehearsal dinner. But it was obvious that they admired his success, and his choice of bride. The three boys were clearly very proud of their oldest brother.

  Diana could hear the organ music in the church as they stood outside. She took her father’s arm, and she felt a little tremor of excitement run through her. She looked up at him with eyes as blue and electric as his own, and as they started up the steps of the church she squeezed his hand.

  “Here we go, Daddy,” she whispered.

  “Everything’s going to be just fine,” he reassured her, just as he had the night of her first play … and the time she’d fallen off her bike and broken her arm when she was nine, and he drove her to the hospital, telling her funny stories and making her laugh, and then holding her tight against him when they set it. “You’re a wonderful girl, and you’re going to be a great wife,” he said to her as they stopped just outside the main door, waiting for a signal from one of the ushers.

  “I love you, Daddy,” she whispered nervously.

  “I love you, too, Diana.” He bent and kissed a froth of veil, as the pungent smell of the roses seemed to surround them. It was a moment they both knew they would remember for a lifetime. “God bless you,” he whispered as the signal came, and her sisters began walking slowly down the aisle, followed by three of Diana’s oldest friends, in the same peach gowns and huge organza hats, and then a cavalcade of adorable children. There was a longish pause as the music became more imperious, and then slowly, slowly, regally and gracefully she came, a young queen going to meet her consort, in the white satin dress with the narrow waist and the beautiful ivory lace inserts. The veil seemed to surround her like a soft haze, and beneath it the well-wishers could see the shining dark hair, the creamy skin, the brilliant blue eyes, the nervous half smile, her lips slightly parted, and then she looked up and saw him, tall and handsome and blond and waiting for her. The promise of a lifetime.

  Andrew had tears in his eyes as he looked at her. She looked like a vision as she glided slowly down the aisle carpeted in white satin. And then at last, holding her bouquet in trembling hands, she stood before him.

  Andy gently squeezed her hand, and the minister solemnly addressed the congregation, reminding them of why they had come, of their awesome responsibility as family and friends to support the young couple in their vows, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until death did them part. He reminded Andrew and Diana that the road would not always be smooth, that the fates may not always be kind, but that they must be there for each other, in witness to their vows, faithful to each other, and strong in their love for each other and the Lord.

  They made their vows to each other in strong clear voices, and by then Diana’s hands had completely stopped shaking. She wasn’t frightened anymore. She was with Andy. Where she belonged. And she had never, ever been happier in her life. She was beaming when the minister declared them man and wife. The narrow gold band Andy had slipped on her finger gleamed in the sunlight, and as he bent to kiss her, the love in his eyes was so tender that even her mother finally cried. Her father had cried long before that, when he left her at the altar beside the man she loved. He knew that it would never be quite the same for them again … she belonged to someone else now.

  They walked down the aisle looking radiant and proud, and they were still beaming as they got into the car to go to the club for the reception. And after that, the dancing went on until six o’clock. It seemed to Diana as though everyone she had ever known, and several hundred people she hadn’t, had been invited. And by the end of the afternoon, she felt as though she had danced with everyone there, and she and her sisters had had a hysterical time doing the limbo with Andy and his brothers. Both of the twins had had to dance with Sam, since there were four Douglas boys and only three Goode sisters, but Sam seemed to love it. She was only a year younger than the twins, and they were all great friends by the end of the reception. And Diana was touched to see how many of Andy’s friends from the network came, even the chairman had come with his wife, although they only stayed for a little while, but it had been nice of them to come at all, and her editor-in-chief from Today’s Home had come, too, and he had danced several times with Diana, and with her mother.

  It was a beautiful afternoon, a perfect day, the beginning of a life she had always dreamed of. Everything had worked out perfectly in her life so far. Andy had come into her life at the right time, they had been happy for the past two and a half years, and she had loved living with him, and now it seemed the perfect time to be married. They were both sure of each other and themselves, and what they wanted out of life. They wanted to be together, to share their lives, and to build a family like each of their own. They had so much to share, so much to give. Diana felt for an instant as though it was almost too perfect, as she stood and looked at him, just before she went to change out of her wedding gown. She hated to take it off, never to wear it again, to turn the reality into a memory. She wanted the moment never to end, as she looked up at her brand-new husband.

  “You look incredible,” he whispered to her, as he swept her onto the dance floor again for one last waltz before they left the party to begin their life together.

  “I wish today would never end,” she said, closing her eyes, and thinking of how wonderful it had been.

  “It won’t,” Andy said quietly, pulling her even closer. “I won’t let it. It’ll always be like this, Diana … We have to remember that, if things ever get tough between us …”

  “Is that a warning?” She pulled away a little as she smiled at him. “Are you going to start giving me a hard time now?”

  “Very.” He grinned, moving closer to her, and his meaning was not lost on her as she chuckled.

  “Shame on you.” She laughed at him as they continued to waltz around the dance floor.

  “Shame on me? Who left me alone and went back to her parents’ house to be a virgin?”

  “One night! Andy!”

  “It was not one night … it was longer … I know it.” He pulled her closer to him again, and rested his cheek against her veil, as she gently touched his neck with delicate fingers.

  “It was one night …”

  “You’ll have to make it up to me for weeks, starting” —he glanced at his watch—“in about half an hour.” The music slowly came to an end and he looked at her tenderly. “Ready to go?” She nodded, sad to leave their wedding, but it was time, it was after six o’clock, and they were both tired.

  Her bridesmaids went upstairs with her while she changed, and Diana slowly took off the beautiful gown and the veil. Her mother carefully hung them up on specially padded hangers, and watched the younger women’s excitement with a little smile, from a distance. She loved her girls more than anything. They had brought her such joy, and now she was happy to see them all well settled, and happily married.

  D
iana put on the ivory silk suit her mother had picked out with her at Chanel. It was bordered in navy blue, with a handbag to match, and it had big pearl buttons. Diana had bought a cream colored hat, too, and she looked wonderfully chic when she went back downstairs to meet her husband, carrying the huge bouquet of white roses.

  His eyes lit up as she walked into the room again, and a moment later she had thrown her bouquet, and he had thrown her garter. And amidst a hailstorm of rice and rose petals, they ran to their car, after quick kisses to their siblings and their parents. They promised to call from the trip, and Diana especially thanked her parents for the beautiful wedding. And then they were gone, in a long white limousine, off to the Bel Air Hotel for their wedding night, to stay in a huge suite overlooking the hotel’s carefully landscaped gardens.

  Andy put an arm around her as the car drove away, and they both sighed in relief and exhaustion.

  “Wow! What a day!” he said, as he leaned back against the seat and looked at her in silent appreciation. “You were a gorgeous bride!” It was so odd now to think it was all over.

  “You looked pretty good yourself.” She smiled at him. “It was such a beautiful wedding.”

  “You and your mom did a fantastic job. Every time I talked to someone at the network they said it was better than anything they’ve seen on a movie set.” It had been loving and happy and filled with their family and friends, but it also wasn’t showy. “Your sisters were a riot too. You guys really get out of hand when you get together, don’t you?” He teased her, and she sat up in feigned outrage.

  “We do! We do? I’d say the Douglas boys don’t do badly in that department either! You guys were outrageous!”

  “Don’t be silly.” Andy looked demure as he pretended to look out the window, and his new wife pushed him, almost onto the floor, as he chuckled.

  “Are you kidding? Excuse me, but do you recall when all four of you did the boogaloo with my mother?”

  “I don’t remember that.” He was all innocence, and they were both laughing.

  “You’re drunk.”

  “I must be.” He turned around and grabbed her then, and held her close as he kissed her. It was a long time before he came up for air, and when he did, they were both breathless. “God … I’ve been dying to do that all day. I can’t wait to get to the hotel and tear your clothes off.”

  “My new suit?” She looked horrified, and he grinned in anticipation.

  “And the new hat that goes with it. I must say, they’re very nice though.”

  “Thank you.” They held hands and chatted in the backseat, feeling new in their love again. In a funny way, it was almost like starting at the beginning, except that they were old friends, and everything they did was comfortable and blessed by the love they had for each other.

  When they arrived at the hotel, a desk clerk walked them down the path into the main building, and they smiled at each other as they walked past a discreet sign pointing the way to the Mason-Winwood wedding.

  “Must be a big day,” Andy whispered to her, and she smiled. They glanced at the gardens and the swans, and they were thrilled when they saw their room. It was on the second floor, and it had a huge living room, a small kitchenette, and a fabulous bedroom all done in a delicate French flower print and pink satin. It looked like the perfect place for their wedding night, the living room had a fireplace, and Andy was hoping it would be cool enough that night to light it.

  “It’s beautiful,” she said, as the bellman left, and the door closed behind him.

  “So are you.” He gently took off her hat and swooped it through the air onto a table. And then he carefully undid her hair and ran his fingers through it, as it fell to her shoulders. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen … and you’re mine … forever and ever and ever …” He sounded like a child, telling a fairy tale, but that was what they had promised. And the bride and groom lived happily ever after …

  “And you’re mine too,” she reminded him, but he didn’t need reminding, and he had no objection. The elegant new Chanel suit was quickly unbuttoned as they kissed, and the jacket fell to the floor as he lay her on the couch, and a moment later his own clothes were beside it. Their clothes lay tangled on the floor while their bodies lay long and lean and taut as they discovered each other for the first time as man and wife. All their passion, all their promises, seemed to come together in a single moment of abandon, and Diana lay clinging to him as though she would never let him go, not for a moment or a lifetime. Their ecstasy rose, and they shuddered with pleasure, and then lay peacefully in each other’s arms long after it was over. It was sunset by then, and long pink and orange fingers of light streaked into the room, as they lay together, thinking of the life they would always share now.

  “I’ve never been so happy in my life,” he said softly.

  “I hope you always will be,” she whispered. “I hope I always make you happy.”

  “I hope we make each other happy,” he added, and then unwound his long limbs from hers and stood up, smiling down at her, and he walked slowly to the window. The black and white swans were gliding smoothly on the pond, and the lawns looked perfectly tended. Young people in brightly colored cocktail dresses were hurrying to an area just beyond their view, as strains of show tunes wafted through the evening air toward them.

  “That must be the Mason-Winwood wedding.” Diana smiled at him, still lying on the couch, and suddenly hoped that they had just made a baby. They had used no precautions at all this time, they had no reason to anymore. They had agreed not to, and see what happened, as soon as they were married. Both of her sisters had gotten pregnant on their honeymoons, and she suspected that the same might happen to them, which genuinely pleased her.

  She stood up after a few minutes and came to stand with him, and just as she did, she saw a young woman in a short white wedding dress run down the path, holding on to a short white veil and a small bouquet, and with her was a girl in a red dress, probably her maid of honor. The bride looked about Diana’s age, or thereabouts, an “assisted blonde,” attractive enough, in a sensuous way, and the dress had looked elaborate, but not expensive. But something about the way she looked and the nervous way she ran touched their hearts as they watched her. The feelings were all too familiar to them, and they wished her well as she ran to her wedding …

  “Barbie, come on!” Judi, the girl in the red dress, urged, as Barbara stumbled and almost fell in the white satin high heels she had bought at Payless only that morning. “Here … take it easy, kid … “Judi extended a hand to steady her, and Barbara stopped to take a deep breath, and stand hidden from the guests, as Judi waved to the best man, mouthing, “Is it time?” He shook his head and held up five fingers, as the maid of honor nodded her understanding. The two women were friends, although they hadn’t known each other for all that long a time. Both were actresses who had come to L.A. from Las Vegas the year before, where they had been dancers. To save the meager sums they made, the two girls decided to become roommates.

  Judi had had two bit parts since she arrived in L.A., some modeling jobs, and almost got a walk-on in a commercial. Barbie got a part in the chorus of a revival of Oklahoma! when it came through town, had tried out for every daytime soap, unsuccessfully, and like Judi, had spent the rest of her time waiting on tables. She got a great job at the Hard Rock Cafe when she first came to town, and got Judi a job there too. And it was at the Hard Rock that they had both met Charlie.

  Judi went out with him first, but they hated each other and had nothing to say, and it was Barbie he kept coming back to talk to. For a while, he ate lunch there almost every day, and then finally he got up the courage to ask her out. It had been easier asking Judi, the first time around—she was so much more casual, so much more matter-of-fact—but he thought Barbie was really special.

  He and Barbie dated a few times after that, and by the fourth date, Charlie was head over heels in love with her, and too scared to say it. He even stopped seeing Barbie f
or a while, but he couldn’t stay away. He called Judi and asked her to meet him. He wanted her advice, and he wanted Judi to tell him what Barbie thought of him.

  “She’s crazy about you, you jerk.” It amazed her how any man twenty-nine years old could be so naïve about women. She had never known anyone like him, and neither had Barbie. He wasn’t really handsome, but he was “cute,” in a boyish way, and so innocent and decent.

  “What makes you think she likes me? Did she say anything?” he asked Judi suspiciously, but she laughed again.

  “Because I know her better than you do.” Judi knew that Barbie liked his sweetness, his generosity, and she thought he had taken her to some pretty nice places. He made a good living as a rep for a major textile company, he did pretty well on commissions, he liked taking girls to nice restaurants, and he lived pretty well for a single guy. The nicer things in life were important to him. He had grown up dirt poor in New Jersey, and it meant a lot to him to have a good life now. He worked hard for it, and he earned it. “She thinks you’re a great guy,” Judi added, wondering if she should have made more effort with him herself, but he just wasn’t her type. She liked excitement, and Charlie was too wholesome. He was a nice guy, but she liked her men racier. She was looking for the big time, and he bored her. Barbara was a different story though. Judi knew she had grown up in a small town, won “Miss Everything in Town” by the time she finished high school, and then had some kind of blowout with her folks and ran away to Las Vegas. She’d been thinking of going to New York for a long time, but it was just too far from Salt Lake, and Vegas had been closer. But in spite of the men she’d met there, and the hard times, there was still something decent and unspoiled about Barbie, which made Charlie love her. She liked Charlie too. He reminded her of some of the boys back home, and she found his naïveté refreshing. He was a nice change from the men she’d met in Vegas and L.A., who seemed to expect everything in the world from a girl, from money to sex, and then some. Charlie didn’t want anything from her, except to be with her and spoil her, and it was hard not to like that. And he wasn’t a bad-looking guy, even if he wasn’t exciting. He had red hair and blue eyes, and every inch of him was covered with freckles. He had a boy-next-door quality about him that a lot of women found both endearing and attractive, and it touched Barbie too. Sometimes she thought he might be the solution to a lot of problems.