The Gay Teen's Guide to Defeating a Siren: Book 1: The Seeker

by Cody Wagner

  Adkins spent the next ten minutes walking us through the course. There were monkey bars, a pull-up bar (he expected us to do ten!), a push-up area (“Thirty reps,” he said), a sit-up mat, and other stations in addition to the tires, climbing wall, and barbed wire.

  Adkins looked around at us. “Try to do the pull-ups and push-ups. If you can’t, that’s fine. But quitters have to spend forty-five seconds at that station before moving on to the next.”

  Forty-five seconds felt like an eternity, but I knew I couldn’t do ten pull-ups. I looked around the course, hoping to make up time in other areas.

  “Is everyone ready?”

  Roze raised her hand. “Do we go one at a time?”

  “No,” Adkins said. “You all go together.”

  So it was a race. My heart pounded in anticipation. If I didn’t suck, maybe I could earn a little credibility. I glanced around, sizing up the competition. Some students nodded excitedly, while others jittered like they wanted to bolt. Tall and muscular, Roze looked really athletic. I prayed she wouldn’t beat me. This sounds sexist and awful, but I imagined her in a prom dress, flying by me in high heels.

  Concocting other ridiculous scenarios, I lined up with everyone else and scraped my shoes across the ground like a chicken. When they felt grippy, I straightened as Adkins pulled out a stop watch. This was it. My hands were clammy. I looked around and saw people taking various runners’ stances. I tried mimicking them and looked at Adkins. It was now or never.

  “Go!”

  The first part of the course wasn’t that bad. In fact, I raced out to an early lead. I used my height to fly over the climbing wall and my basketball quickness to fly through the sets of tires. The pull-up bar was impossible, so I decided to conserve my energy and meditated on my butt. I was right: forty-five seconds was an eternity. When I finally heard Adkins yell, “Trales, go!” I’d already taken like nine cat naps. Grumbling, I sprinted to the track for the final leg: a half-mile run.

  I thought the trek might not be so bad but, three-quarters around the first lap, my lungs started hurting. Luke and Darrin passed me.

  By the time I began the second lap, my legs wobbled and I felt myself slow; I was more a sprinter than a long-distance runner. Even with the cat naps, I had expended too much energy on the first lap.

  Another half-lap later, I heard something next to me and looked over. Roze was there, letting out full, even breaths. Tracey, Luke and Darrin’s friend, jogged right behind her, face red but relaxed.

  A few seconds later, Roze passed me. She even had the nerve to say, “Gotcha.”

  I freaked out, imagining everyone racing past me as my body exploded, littering the asphalt with kidneys and lungs. I pictured Coach Adkins picking me up on a golf cart. That thought made me want to scream, and my face heated with anger. I couldn’t lose, not on my first day. Ignoring the pain, I put everything I had into the last lap. Even when my legs felt like jelly and my peripheral vision dimmed, I kept sprinting.

  After what felt like days, I saw the finish line. At least I hoped that’s what it was—I was so tired, I might have been hallucinating. Lowering my head, I begged my body to keep going, and ran until I crossed two cones marking the end of the race. At least, I hoped it was the end because I collapsed right on the track. I pictured people tripping over me, until the image was erased by exhausted stars and lights.

  “Way to kill yourself to beat me,” Roze said. She reached out and hefted me to my feet in one motion. I managed to stand, but couldn’t make a comeback.

  When everyone finished The Bruiser, we all joined Adkins by the gym door. I was still pouring sweat. Everyone was.

  “Nods to our top three finishers, Solano, Trales, and Winborne. The rest of you, get better. Now hit the showers.”

  I froze. I finished second? I didn’t even remember passing Darrin. Roze punched my arm, said, “Next time,” and walked into the gym. I went to follow her when Adkins called me.

  I flinched. Had I done something wrong?

  “Yessir,” I said. “Sir” seemed like something he’d want to hear.

  “I told you to try the pull-ups. You cheated.”

  I clamped up, surprised, and tried putting my hands in my pockets, but the shorts didn’t have any. Instead, I floundered like an idiot, and he showed the hint of a smile.

  “But it was smart. Way to capitalize on your strengths.”

  I was stunned, but managed a small, “Thank you, sir.”

  Then he grew serious, said, “But get better,” and pushed me in the door.

  * * * * *

  After class, I walked back to the classroom center with Roze. I was still riding a wave of euphoria and felt good. She was telling me how she ran track back in Georgia. It made sense. I bet she could hurdle like nobody’s business. I was a decent jumper but had no experience with stuff like that.

  I felt a pat on my back and turned around. It was Luke, Darrin, and Tracey. Luke was smiling at me. I froze, not sure what to say.

  “Nice job, Trales,” Darrin said.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  He nodded then looked at Roze. “You too.”

  When Roze didn’t respond, he said, “This is Tracey, by the way.” Tracey smirked and waved, but Roze didn’t return it. In fact, she crossed her arms and pretended to watch a tree.

  I looked from her to Darrin, who ignored her, saying, “It’s nice to see more athletes here.”

  “Thanks,” I said.

  “Just don’t kill yourself next time,” Luke said.

  With that, they started laughing and blew past us. I thought it was a good “with me and not at me” laugh, so I grinned with them.

  After a few steps, Darrin turned back and approached me. “We workout every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, if you want to join.”

  I fumbled with my backpack for a second, stunned.

  “Sure,” I said. “Thanks.”

  He smiled and looked at Roze.

  “You too.”

  She shrugged noncommittally. Darrin ignored her and ran to join his group. When they were a safe distance away, my euphoria melted, and I rounded on Roze.

  “Why were you so rude to them?” I was probably madder than I should have been. But this was my chance to hang out with the jocks and I didn’t want her ruining it.

  Roze shrugged and said, “I get a bad vibe from those guys.”

  “Really? Why?”

  “I don’t know. They seem like people back home. Fake.”

  I didn’t even want to think about that and said nothing as Luke and Darrin walked away. A few other kids joined them and I admit I pictured myself as part of the group. Honestly, I thought Roze would be with them, too. I mean, how could someone be on the track team without being popular?

  Because of Roze’s disgusted tone, I didn’t press the issue. The last thing I needed was my one sort-of friend mad at me.

  I felt pretty good throughout the rest of my classes. Overall, things had gone pretty well: I didn’t eat in the bathroom, I took second in the race, and I was invited to hang out with Luke and Darrin. Score! I found myself smiling without even thinking about it. Cassie, who was in my US History class last period, noticed.

  “Someone’s happy.”

  “You are, too.”

  She blushed and said, “Well, I’ve learned a lot so far.”

  “Trig? I bet.”

  “Not just that, though. There are so many fascinating people here. Some seem OK with who they are. Some aren’t so sure. One girl hugged herself during Anatomy. It was strange.”

  “Huh. I wonder what that’s about.”

  “I have some theories.” She quickly added, “But I don’t want to talk behind her back.”

  Cassie’s little observations were weird, but I decided I liked her. Halfway through class, I also decided she was a genius. She never raised her hand, but I could hear her whispering every answer under her breath (yes, we had to learn something our first day!). At one point, she whispered the answer to a tough quest
ion just before Mr. Pryor, our teacher, called on me to respond.

  “Benedict Arnold,” I said, confidently.

  He smiled and pointed at me. “Very good.”

  Cassie looked at me. Her expression wasn’t accusatory, just curious. Either way, I didn’t ask her to give me the answer. Hell, if she was showing off, didn’t she get what she deserved? She didn’t seem like that type, though. But she continued whispering answers until the bell rang. At one point, I told her to raise her hand and she slunk lower in her chair.

  That night at dinner, Roze, Cassie, and I were all in good spirits. My appetite had returned and I chomped on a Healing Hamburger as we exchanged stories about our day. Roze really enjoyed telling Cassie about my near-death experience at gym.

  “Hey, I beat you, though,” I said, holding up a fist. “Win!”

  “Well, if you want it that bad, you can have it.”

  I held up a fist and, again, said, “Win!”

  Roze tried to blow it off, but I could tell she was going to go all out next time. Still, I couldn’t help but raise my fist one last time and whisper, “Win.” This time, Roze smashed a tator tot on my tray.

  Feeling cocky and victorious, I turned to Cassie and gave her a thumbs up. She smiled, but it wasn’t a normal smile. It was one of those “I know something you don’t” smiles and it made me uncomfortable. After a few seconds, she said, “I think you two should arm wrestle.”

  Roze popped up from her tots and grinned. “I’m down.” She pretended to roll up her sleeves, although her shirt didn’t have any.

  I gaped at Cassie as two thoughts hit me: First, I hated arm wrestling. Second, I hated it because my upper body was so scrawny. And I didn’t think I could beat Roze. If we arm wrestled here in front of everyone and I lost, I’d never live that down.

  “I’m left-handed,” I said, desperate for an excuse.

  Roze pretended to roll up her other sleeve. “No problem.” She placed her left elbow on the table. I looked at Cassie, who was very pleased with herself. It made me nervous—Cassie was up to something, and I knew what it was. This was a lose-lose situation. If I beat Roze, it wouldn’t be that big a deal. But if she beat me (and I’m pretty sure she would), I’d never live it down. Grimacing, I began rubbing my arm.

  “I think I pulled something on the obstacle course today.”

  Roze stared at me, smirking. “I’m taking this as a victory.” She stood up and waved to an invisible crowd. Then she grabbed her tray and went to get some more food.

  I glared at Cassie. “You did that on purpose!”

  She shrugged and took a nibble of “Cleansing Corn”. “Competition doesn’t make much sense to me. I like evenness.”

  “That’s not even. I would have looked like an idiot.”

  “You’re pretty confident she’d win.” She was smiling as she spoke.

  “So were you!” I said.

  She shrugged again. I had to give her credit; Cassie was smart. And not just in that bookworm sort of way. I decided I’d never argue with her. Well, I probably would if I got competitive enough. I just had to know I was going to lose.

  Roze came back and we continued bantering with each other. We even placed bets on the next obstacle course day. Cassie chimed in once in a while. She was one of those people who didn’t talk much, but when she said something, you listened. I decided they were both cool. Sure, Cassie was weird and I knew Roze would end up embarrassing me, but they were genuine and entertaining.

  Watching them start a debate about the best way to run a school, I smiled to myself; I’d been here one day and had already made a couple friends. It was nice and I gave the day a B+. When Luke and Darrin walked by and reminded me of the Tuesday workout, I upgraded it to an A. They slapped me on the back and looked at Roze. I figured they wanted to invite her, but she glared at them until they walked away, lowering the day back to a B+.

  “Wow, what’s your deal with them?” I asked Roze.

  She shook her head and looked down at her food. “I know their type.” That was all she said. Cassie grimaced as if she understood completely. I had no idea what was going on, but Roze didn’t dwell on it. Soon, the conversation returned to normal and, when we put up our trays and walked back to the dorm, I said to myself, Definitely at least a B+.

  I decided to take a quick walk around campus that evening to keep my good mood going. I invited Cassie and Roze, but Cassie wanted to study and Roze decided to head back to her room. I felt a little self-conscious by myself, but tried to ignore it as I hit the giant loop of road and strolled around. The air was still heavy and hot. Other than its effect on my armpits, I loved it, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. The air was fresh and smelled like trees and grass.

  As I rounded the corner to the gym, I saw two girls holding hands. I blushed and turned away before realizing that was the brainwashing talking. I forced myself to turn back and watch, thinking, Will that ever be me? I wasn’t even sure who I’d want to date. Thoughts of the guys I’d met passed through my mind.

  Luke and Darrin seemed too perfect for me. I didn’t like that for some reason. Besides, they were together. Matthew, the kid who gave us a tour, seemed nice. But I just wasn’t interested. Then I thought of Timothy and stopped for a second. Up to this point, he was like a super-human to me, like we weren’t even the same species. Yes, I really wanted to talk to him, but it was because of all my questions.

  Kicking up small clouds of dirt, I decided to focus on making friends. It felt right. I mean, everything was still so new that dating felt overwhelming. And, for the time being, I was perfectly happy by myself.

  After wandering around for an hour, I made my way back to the dorm. It felt cool calling it a dorm, like I was in college. I grinned as I held my key card to the sensor and pulled open the door. When I walked into the room, Cassie was on her bed, reading. It was dark except for a small book lamp attached to her book. I went to say something but she quickly pressed a finger to her lips (with the eerie light, it looked like she was about to tell a ghost story). Soundlessly, she pointed over and I looked at the bottom bunk. Jimmy was asleep. I turned around and looked at the clock hanging over the door. 9:30. Wow, that was early. Quietly, I pulled off my shoes, grabbed my sleeping shorts, and changed behind the screen, again giving Cassie a nod of thanks.

  I thought about getting online for a bit, but figured I’d be there enough once the homework came rolling in. Instead, I decided to relax for a while. As I walked to my bed, Cassie made a noise. I turned back to her. She held out a tablet, fully charged. I bowed to her in gratitude and she grinned. I meant it, though; this sure beat re-reading another book.

  Powering the tablet on, I climbed up and played games until nodding off around 11:00. Before falling asleep, I looked at the walls and said, “Thanks,” to the plaster and sheet rock.

  Six

  Popularity

  Jimmy was gone when I climbed down from my bed the next morning. Part of me wondered if he had on My Little Pony underwear this time. The thought made me smile—a rare feat since I needed at least four more snoozes—as I went behind the screen and got dressed. I planned on wearing shorts, but the sky was roiling, so I threw on jeans and a t-shirt.

  Cassie stood at the sink and, rather than fighting over it to fix my hair, I asked, “Hey, are we allowed to wear hats to class?”

  “No,” she said, tugging at something in her hair.

  “Are you OK?”

  “I fell asleep chewing gum again.”

  She whimpered, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

  “It relaxes me,” she insisted.

  “Be careful not to choke.”

  Hearing that, she looked at me, grateful. I was a bit confused; it’s not like that was new information or anything.

  Focusing back on the mirror, she stuck a finger through a loop in her hair and pulled. Nothing happened, and she squealed in pain. I walked to the desk and pulled out a drawer. It was loaded with supplies. I grabbed a pair of scissors and helped her
cut away the gum without ruining her hair too badly.

  “Thanks,” she said.

  “No problem. Where’s Jimmy?”

  She looked over at the bed, curious.

  “I’m not sure. He was gone when I got up. I never saw him yesterday.”

  “Me either.”

  “Weird,” she said.

  “Not really. I didn’t see lots of people yesterday.”

  “I guess.” She didn’t say anything else.

  I reached in front of her and filled my cupped hands with water. I think I dropped more on the floor than in my hair. Grabbing a towel, I dried off, then wiped up the mess. At home, I wouldn’t have cleaned up, but I didn’t want them thinking I was a disgusting pig.

  The sky threatened to unleash as I made my way to the classroom center. I wasn’t sure if the camp was in tornado alley, but I stared at the clouds. They didn’t look too threatening. The wind sure was blowing, though. A small group of girls laughed, letting the gusts push them toward class.

  When I made it to algebra and sat at my left-handed desk, I realized I was one of the first people in the room. It actually upset me; I could have snoozed a couple more times. Yes, a few extra minutes of sleep was that big a deal. Yawning, I laid my head on the desk.

  “Hey Blaize!”

  I jerked my head up, hoping a puddle of drool wasn’t hanging from my chin. Jimmy was standing right in front of me. He was so close, his hips pressed against my desk.

  Awkward.

  “Oh, hey Jimmy,” I said, trying to be nice.

  “Anyone sitting here?” He gestured to the empty desk next to me.

  No, I thought, no one’s sitting in the empty desk. All I said was, “It’s all yours.”

  He grinned and plopped down next to me so hard, his chair squealed across the floor a few inches. An older girl near the front of the room pointed and whispered something to a big-nosed guy next to her. They looked at us and laughed. What was that about?

  I quickly realized the answer: no one liked Jimmy.

  First, he ignored the fact I was sleeping, and started babbling. Second, it wasn’t like normal conversation. He was a machine gun, firing off questions and answering them before I could say anything. For example, this is how the next minute went: