If I wanted the promotion, I definitely didn’t need to be toeing the line of acceptable behavior at work.
“I actually don’t drink coffee,” I said. I had no idea how to respond. I felt like I knew a secret that he didn’t know. Of course I did. I knew who I was, and I knew who he was. He thought my voice matched the rest of me. He would be expecting a supermodel and getting a beached whale.
Xander laughed softly, the sound filling me. I could picture his smile, the smile that had been haunting my dreams. I wanted to see that smile in person. I ached to meet him. I couldn’t explain it. Something felt different about him. Something that made me want to say yes.
“You don’t have to drink coffee. We could go out for a beer or hell, a water, for all I care.”
I laughed. He was charming. It warmed me. No, it heated me. Like burning in hell sort of heated me. He wasn’t saying anything particularly charming, but I was already aching for him.
“I love the sound of your laugh. God, I want to see the smile on your face when you laugh. I can only dream of how beautiful you are.”
I opened my mouth to tell him the truth. To tell him I wasn’t the woman he thought I was. He deserved the truth before he tried to take me out.
Right?
“I’m sorry. I guess this is a little creepy, right? What if we got to know each other a little better. I’ll tell you anything you want to know about me so you know I’m not sketchy. I have a younger sister and I would yell at her for days if she went out with a guy like I’m asking you out. I’m 29 years old. I work for Colton Construction as a project manager. I have a BS in electrical engineering from University at Buffalo. My parents have been married for almost 35 years and my sister is 23.”
He took a deep breath. I closed my eyes and imagined his breath cascading over my skin. I listened to him breathe, as though he was trying to figure out what to tell me next. He kept going.
“In high school I was a bit of a troublemaker. I was the star pitcher on my high school’s baseball team and goalie for our soccer team. I went to Orchard Park High School and my parents and sister still live in OP. I thought I could get away with anything because I was a sports star. I drank and TP’d a house almost every weekend. My friends were just as crazy as me so I thought we were normal.”
He chuckled, remembering his foolish youthful days. I was a bit jealous. I didn’t have those memories. In high school Claire and I were best friends, but she was dating BJ. When things went bad between them, she and I spent most of our weekends at either my house or hers. She didn’t want to go out because BJ had told everyone all sorts of lies about her. Claire just wanted to get through high school without having to deal with anyone. Honestly, that’s all I’d ever wanted, too.
“I cleaned up my act in college. My first two years I was just as crazy, but eventually I figured out that I wasn’t doing myself any favors. I ended up with a roommate my junior year that was focused on his work. We were in class together and he was kicking ass and I was close to being thrown out. I knew if I didn’t get my shit together I wouldn’t graduate.”
The phone muffled and I wondered if he was talking to someone else. After a second I heard him sneeze and then he came back on the phone.
“Sorry about that,” he said, sounding embarrassed.
“Bless you,” I told him with a smile. For some reason it made him seem more human to hear him sneeze. Almost like I forgot that hot guys sneeze, too.
“Thank you. Anyway, my roommate tutored me for the first semester of our junior year and pulled my grades out of the dump. After that it became a game between me and Drew to see who got the better grade. Most of the time he beat me, but I gave him a run for his money. We’re still good friends today.”
I listened quietly. As he talked I clicked through his Facebook profile, again, and looking at him while he talked. I was surprised someone as gorgeous as he was could care about things like grades. Usually that was reserved for people who didn’t have their looks to fall back on. People like me.
“So now, I own my own house, I own my own Jeep, and I work hard. I love my job. I work with Drew, my roommate from college, and we dream of being able to open our own home restoration company one day. We’re working with the construction company because it’s pretty steady work, but we’d love to be able to go in and bring something old back to life instead of starting from scratch. I guess it doesn’t sound that interesting, but Drew and I work well together and would love to do our own thing.”
“I totally get that. I mean, it’s not me. I actually really like my job, but I can understand wanting to put your own stamp on what you do.”
“That’s it. Exactly. I know I’m doing good work where I am, but I could do so much more if I weren’t having to give a cut of my pay to the company. Plus, I like working with the customer a little more. As it is we go in to a house as it’s under construction and wire it up but never have anything to do with the homeowner. I know we have to follow code, and we do, but it would be cool to sit down and plan things out with the homeowner or go in and help someone when they have a problem. I feel like I’m not using my education at all and that bugs me. I worked hard for it and I like solving problems.”
I found myself smiling. He sounded wonderful. Every time he said something else I wanted to meet him and talk to him in person. I wanted to tell him everything about myself, and learn everything else there was to know about him.
When he asked, “Now that you know more about me do you think you’ll go out with me?” I had no choice but to say, “Yes.”
“Really? Excellent,” he said. I could hear his smile and it brought one to my lips. I’d just agreed to a date with a really cute guy and he was excited about it. “How about this weekend?”
Panic! There was no way I could meet him over the weekend. The weekend was starting in about twenty minutes. I wouldn’t be prepared to meet a hot guy in less than 24 hours. If ever.
“This weekend isn’t good for me,” I lied. “Are you available Tuesday evening?”
He paused and I worried I’d blown it. Maybe I should go out with him over the weekend. But then I wouldn’t have any back-up. All my friends were busy, either working or had something else going on. I needed to have at least one of them available to go with me, or talk me through it when it fell apart.
“Tuesday works for me. I usually get off work around four. I’m guessing you work until five so how about we meet at six? Where do you want to go? Since you don’t like coffee,” he teased.
I smiled again. This was starting off better than I expected. He was making me smile so much my cheeks were sore. “How about Cooler Coffee?”
“Wait a minute?” he laughed. “You said you don’t like coffee and now you want to go to a coffee place? What’s up with that?”
I laughed again. Picking on me was a good sign. He was already comfortable enough with me to joke around. Yep, I could do it. I could have fun with a man.
A hot man.
That had no idea what I looked like.
Before I lost my courage I said, “I like hot chocolate. If you want to go somewhere else we can…”
He laughed at me, the vibration tickling my ear like his breath was actually fanning me. “Cooler Coffee sounds great. I’ll see you Tuesday at six.”
“Yep, Tuesday at six. Bye Xander.”
“Bye Mandy.”
I hung up the phone smiling. I couldn’t stop. He not only eased my concerns about being out with a perfect stranger, but he made me laugh. I was really looking forward to meeting him.
Until I turned around.
Melody was right behind me, examining her nails and staring at my computer.
That still had Xander’s profile pulled up on Facebook.
“Is that the guy you were just talking to. The one you’re going out with Tuesday?”
I scrambled to close the tab before she could see anything else. Like his name.
“Does he know what you look like? Does he know what he’s getting
himself into?”
“What business is it of yours?” I snapped at her.
A wicked smile crossed her lips. She looked like an evil Barbie. “So you haven’t told him you’re fat. Do you really think a guy who looks like him is going to want to be with someone like you? I mean, really?”
“Leave me alone, Melody,” I said sharply. I turned away from her, focusing back on my computer and finalizing the last bits of paperwork I had to do before I could go home. After a few moments I heard the clacking sound of her heels as she walked back to her cubicle. Each step felt like a shot through my heart.
Too fat.
Too fat.
Too fat.
What was I thinking? Of course Melody was right. Not that I wanted to hear it from her. Even Addi thought he was out of my league when she saw his picture. She didn’t come out and say it, but it was pretty obvious by the tone of her voice.
I could try to convince myself Xander Carlson was different, but really I had no idea. The odds were he was a jerk. A big one. I wanted to cancel the date.
Shit, I wondered, why did I agree to it?
I told myself all week that I didn’t need him, but as soon as I heard his voice I was ready to do anything he said. I was weak. It had been a while since a man showed me any bit of attention, and it drew me in. God, I was stupid.
But without his number I had no way to canceling on him. If I didn’t show up at all, I would be the jerk. If I showed up, I knew I’d get hurt. But it was too late.
My first date with Xander Carlson was set.
Four
All weekend I was paranoid. What if he didn’t like me? What if he walked out when he saw me? What if Melody was right? By Tuesday I’d gotten myself so psyched out about our date that nothing could put me in a good mood.
I’d secretly hoped Xander would call Monday or Tuesday to tell me he had to cancel our date, but he never did. As Tuesday afternoon approached, I started freaking out. Seriously. I was losing it.
As soon as five o’clock hit, I was out the door. Usually I’d make sure things were in order for the next day, but I wasn’t going to take the time. I had to get to Cooler Coffee early to talk to my girls. I knew I wouldn’t get through my date if I didn’t have their support.
I burst through the door a few minutes later. Addi was already seated at a table alone, looking at her smartphone. I ordered my hot chocolate and cupcakes then joined her.
“You’re here early,” Addi said with a smile. “Usually I’m by myself for a few minutes. You look really nice today.”
The massiveness of my date washed over me and I almost started crying. I still couldn’t believe I was going to go out with him. Or meet him. It all seemed like a dream, a bad one I was sure. Even my clothes indicated something was going on.
I hadn’t talked to anyone all weekend. Addi coached tennis and lacrosse for the school and was an instructor on the side. One of the clubs she taught at opened over the weekend and she was working from sun up to sun down to get new students signed up.
Sam and Claire also worked all weekend. It felt strange to have such a huge event, for me at least, and none of my friends had a clue.
“I’m meeting Xander. He called me on Friday and asked me out. We’re meeting here tonight.”
Shock didn’t begin to describe the look on Addi’s face. She was completely blown away, as though the idea of me going out with a hot guy was not only unbelievable, but also a huge mistake.
Her face was the picture of my insides over the last four days. It was so bad I’d lost three pounds because I was so anxious about the whole thing.
I waved my hand in front of Addi’s face, trying to get her attention again. She blinked rapidly then focused on me. “Wow. Sorry, I just imagined what it would be like to have a date with someone that looked like him. Are you nervous? I’d be a wreck.”
I nodded. Nervous, terrified, about to throw up. They all applied.
“Nervous about what?” Sam asked as she sat down next to Addi. I hadn’t noticed her walk in. Sam’s rich brown hair bounced as she dropped into her seat. I watched, mesmerized, as her hair settled into place.
“Mandy’s meeting Xander here. Tonight,” Addi declared, emphasizing ‘tonight.’
Sam turned on me, a smile playing at her lips and her eyes sparkling with mischief. “Really?” she dragged out. “Isn’t that interesting. Why is he meeting you here?”
I huffed out my frustration. “You know why, Sam. He wanted to go out over the weekend but I couldn’t do it knowing I didn’t have any of you to call when things went south. I asked to meet here so I could bash him for being a shallow asshole when he decides I’m too fat to be with someone as hot as he is.”
“I don’t think you’re giving him enough credit, Mandy,” Sam retorted. “Did he ever ask you what you look like? Did he give you any indication that he wouldn’t go out with you if you weren’t thin and hot? If he did you certainly didn’t tell us.”
I shook my head and started to argue, “He kept telling me how beautiful my voice was and how he couldn’t wait to see me in person to match my face to my voice.”
“Who’s matching your face to your voice?” Claire asked as she took the seat next to me. “And why are you here before me?” she teased.
“Mandy’s got a date with the hottie she told us about last week, but she thinks he’s going to be an asshole so she is meeting him here tonight so she’s not alone when he tells her she’s too fat for him. Is that about right?” Addi told Claire.
I stuck my tongue out at her. She’d perfectly articulated my feelings, but she didn’t have to be so negative about it. “Addi, you’re the one who made it seem like he was way out of my league. I agree with you. He is out of my league. I was stunned when he called Friday. He started telling me all this stuff about himself, like his past and his dreams for the future. He has a sister and said he’d be pissed if she agreed to date someone who’d asked her out the way he asked me. He started telling me all this stuff so I wouldn’t be afraid to meet him.”
My friends exchanged worried glances. “You like him, don’t you?” Sam asked.
I looked down at my hands and picked at the pink nail polish I’d carefully applied over the weekend, and then destroyed with my nerves. “He seems like a nice guy,” I told them noncommittally.
They watched me, like they were waiting for something. They could tell I was lying my ass off and were waiting for me to sink myself, but I wasn’t taking the bait. I was going to let them sit there.
And just in case, I stuffed a huge bite of my cupcake in my mouth.
“You look nice,” Claire said. “I’ve always loved you in that dress.”
I smiled. She was baiting me, but it was working. Claire knew I was wearing my favorite dress. The soft red color matched the darker shades of my hair and highlighted my light skin. It had a cinched neckline that scooped low enough to be sexy but not so low it was slutty. The capped sleeves allowed me to wear a bra, something very important to the well-endowed. I’d paired it with black knee high boots that just barely kissed the hem of the dress.
I looked hot.
Well, as hot as I could look.
My hair was cooperating too, my soft curls bouncing just right around my shoulders. I had simple jewelry on and light make-up, but it was all different. It wasn’t how I usually dressed. And they knew it.
I looked like I was trying too hard.
“He’s a fool if he doesn’t like you,” Addi said suddenly. “You’re gorgeous and you’re a great person. He already likes your personality, or what he knows of you. If he blows you off we’ll all go on his Facebook page and tell everyone what a jerk he is.”
Tears welled up in my eyes at the thought of my friends putting themselves out there for me. It seemed so small, but it was huge to me. To know they believed in me enough and thought I deserved someone like him.
I wanted to believe it, too.
“Let’s talk about something else,” I suggested, hoping they wou
ld all get the hint that I didn’t want to think about Xander for a little while. I glanced at my phone and saw he would be there in only twenty minutes. I needed to relax before he showed up, otherwise I just might sweat through my dress.
Thankfully they picked up on my mood and started talking about the nicer weather. “Addi, are you going to have class outside this week? It’s supposed to be beautiful. I always loved it when my teachers let us go outside for class.”
Addi laughed softly at Sam’s idea. “I love it too, but it’s hard for my class. If I taught English or even history it would work because you could go out for class and read or listen to a story or even lecture. I use the board so much, not to mention the experiments, that I don’t know how I could teach outside. I need to be able to show my students what I’m working on. If they can’t see it they’ll never get it.”
“Is it strange teaching without books?”
Addi had commented at the beginning of the year that her school had gone electronic and were no longer issuing books to students. It saved some taxpayer money because they weren’t buying books, but Addi worried it would be harder on the students.
She shrugged. “I thought it would be really weird but I guess I’ve gotten used to it. The parents hate it though because they have to look everything up online to figure out how to help the kids. A few of my kids never have their homework done because they don’t have internet at home and can’t look things up online.”
“Seriously?” asked Sam. “I can’t imagine not having internet all the time. Hell, we have internet in our hands and these kids don’t have it at home. Are their parents against it or they can’t afford it?”
“Can’t afford it. Some states offer cheap or free internet for students that get reduced price lunch. I think New York is considering it. They need to if we’re not going to issue books. I think it’s great for the kids, but the school should have had some sort of online resource in place if they were going to take the books away. I end up piecing together lectures from a variety of sites and try to send home the web addresses every day, but it gets tiring.”
Chubby & Charming (Big & Beautiful Book 1) Page 3