The Mason List

by S. D. Hendrickson

  Good grief! Just say small yogurt milkshake.

  I rang up Lila and Katie Rae’s orders. Turning my back to use the mixer, I felt their eyes watching my every move. It was difficult to do my job knowing she was just a few feet away. Finishing the orders, I handed the cups to each of them. Ashley peered down at the shake then slanted her eyes at me.

  “I said one scoop, not two. That’s two.”

  “You watched me make it. There’s just one,” I said, keeping my tone even.

  Ashley smiled at me, never breaking eye contact as she tilted the cup sideways. I watched half of the white contents splatter to the floor.

  “There. One scoop. All fixed. No need to thank me.” Ashley’s perfect nose pointed up as she grinned. Turning to leave, she stepped over the sloppy mess. “Come on, girls.”

  Ahh, I wanted to scream in her smug, flawless face. I wanted to put my hands around her throat. I pictured Ashley’s happy hater eyes, popping from her skull as my fingers tightened.

  “That’s some seriously, twisted shit you got with her.” Natalie came up behind me with towels. “You need to squash that bitch.”

  From my angle on the floor, I only saw the laces of her black combat boots. “Like how? You act like she’s a spider I can just step on.”

  “For starters, tell your BBF that his perfect girlfriend, is bat-shit crazy.”

  “I can’t do that. This has nothing to do with him.”

  “Sure it doesn’t.”

  “Ashley has never liked me.” I scrubbed the ice cream splatter off the benches by the counter.

  “She didn’t like you in seventh grade. She put a bulls-eye on your ass four months ago when she pulled your horny friend in the back seat of her Mustang.”

  “Don’t say that about Jess. It’s not his fault.”

  “Don’t defend him for being a dumbass.”

  Natalie knew about Ashley’s increasing torment, but I refused to tell Jess. What would I say? The most popular girl in school, who just so happens to be your girlfriend, is harassing me for not having any money and living at your ranch. He would just try to take care of it and I didn’t want that from him. This was personal. She purposely targeted the worst area of my life. School would be out soon for the summer. I just needed to stay clear of her and let the tension die down between us. Maybe Ashley Cartwright would just forget about me.

  Chapter 19

  When I was sixteen…

  I was wrong. By the end of summer, my life was the same, if not worse. I kept up a good face for Jess, but I felt a deep strain on the inside of my gut. He had a beautiful girlfriend and I had a scary bitch, haunting me like a red stain on Mrs. Mason’s carpet.

  “Alex, you ok?” Jess asked as I sat next to him in the meadow. He was taking a break from cutting hay.

  “Yes,” I muttered. I watched him take bite of the hamburger I had brought him from Jeeter’s. Over the summer, I didn’t spend much time with Jess. He worked long hours at the ranch around his football practice schedule.

  “Sure? You ain’t sayin’ much.”

  “I’m fine.”

  My black nail polish-tipped finger flicked a fire ant from my knee. The tightly woven strings of bracelets on my wrist seemed to constrict into my sweaty skin. I’d become good with the intricate braids and painted designs on top of the macramé threads.

  “Skeeter Rawlins came into Jeeter’s this morning, bragging about his meatloaf.” I said, trying to get his attention elsewhere.

  “Meatloaf?” Jess laughed.

  “You know how everyone was talking about Sara Beth Nelson baking cookies in her car? Well, Skeeter apparently tried to top that with a pan of meatloaf on the dash of his truck.”

  “Gross. I guess he ate it?”

  “What do you think? I had to listen to every detail about how it was a little dry and chewy on top, but still gooey in the middle from all the eggs and ketchup.”

  “Really? I’m eatin’ here.”

  “How do you think I felt? I swear I saw a piece of raw meat still caked in his dirty beard.”

  “Geez, you can be real nasty sometimes.” His nostrils flared in disgust. “I guess it doesn’t surprise me. I heard he went fishin’ and got down to the pond with his Marlboros but no lighter. Skeeter decided it wouldn’t be much different if he just chewed ‘em up and ate ‘em.”

  “No way, he ate cigarettes.”

  “Why would he make up somethin’ that stupid.”

  “I don’t know,” I muttered.

  Jess took a drink of his Dr. Pepper. I went back to picking at the strands on my wrist. He chewed for a few minutes. The hot sun baked more freckles into my pale skin.

  “I want to talk to you ‘bout somethin’.”

  “Ok?” I asked, hesitant at the direction this was going.

  “I’m gettin’ a back to school campin’ trip together over Labor Day weekend. That’s our off week with football, so everybody should be free. I want you to go with us.”

  “Us?”

  “Buzz, Gentry, and Ashley. Maybe a few of the girls. Thought you and Natalie could come too.”

  “You want me to do what?” My throat tightened as I spit out my Coke. The bubbles burned in my nose. Just last week, Ashley had dumped a bag of trash in the cab of my father’s truck while I was at Jeeter’s. Now Jess wanted me to spend the whole damn weekend with her.

  “Al, look at me. Don’t do this. It’ll be fun.”

  I watched Jess take another bite of the burger. The cheese dripped over his bottom lip as he licked it back into his mouth. He continued to chew while staring at me, waiting for an answer.

  “I’m starting to regret that I brought you lunch.”

  “Come on. You’re gonna have to talk to me. What’s your hang up with Ashley?”

  “It’s nothing. We are just different people.” I pictured her perfect fake smile and gagged.

  “She’s not that bad. You should spend some time with her. She’s a fun person.”

  Fun for you! We didn’t discuss that part of his life, but I was fully aware of his sex-capades. The whole damn school heard plenty from Ashley. I hoped for the sake of public sanitary purposes, most of the stories were just inflated gossip.

  I watched Jess cram the rest of the burger into his mouth. Leaning against the tractor tire, he wore a fitted white t-shirt and old pair of Wranglers. His shaggy black hair was pushed back off his forehead with a University of Texas cap. Almost a decade older now from when we first met, but he still had the same deep, blue eyes. Those same pink lips turned into a frown. I squinted back with a mean stare.

  “You’re goin’ to have to do better than that. Either you talk to me or you’re goin’ to Possum Kingdom with us.”

  “There’s nothing to say and I am not going camping.” I gritted my teeth in aggravation.

  “You need to give her a chance. Spend some time with her.”

  He had to be kidding me! Give her a chance my ass! Just knock me in the head, tie me to a rock, and throw me in the freaking lake! I’d rather spend the weekend dead instead of being in a cabin with her!

  I took a deep breath, inhaling through my nose, trying to calm my patience. I cared about Jess and hated seeing him with such a terrible person. It was my fault that his kind heart was currently being held captive by the Devil’s sister. I should have told him months ago about her dark side, but now it was past the point of no return.

  “Al, please do this for me. You don’t have to get in the lake. I know you hate it. Please…just say yes.” He wrinkled his eyebrows up at me. “I don’t feel like I see you as much lately.”

  “Don’t tell me you miss me. I see you all the time.”

  “You know that’s not true. It used to be just us. Now there’s school, and football, and you’re at Jeeter’s and I help Frank.”

  I frowned at his words. I wish it was just those things keeping us apart. Why was growing up so tough? I missed being those carefree kids running through the meadow.

  “Please say you’ll d
o this.” Jess put a palm on each side of my face; his thumbs rested on the corners of my lips, forcing a smile. He moved my head up and down. “See, I knew I’d get you to say yes.”

  “Gross! Get your cow manure hands off my face. I can see it under your nails.” I glared at him, batting his hands away.

  Everything was just too complicated. Come clean about Ashley, or go camping. “Fine! I’ll go, but I’m doing this for you and only you.”

  “I knew I’d talk you into it.”

  “I hate you sometimes.”

  He gave me one of those irritating grins. The things I do for this boy. Shaking my head, I stood up. “I gotta go back to work.”

  “Stay and ride a couple of rounds with me.”

  I looked up at the old tractor that lacked an air-conditioned cab. “Why are you driving that one?”

  “The new one already needed some hydraulic part. I kinda like the old one. It’s nice, once you get goin’.”

  “Fine. I’ll go, but just a couple of rounds. I have to change before I go back to town. Thanks to you, I’m covered in sweat.”

  “Stop complainin.” Jess climbed up to the cab and leaned down to pull me up beside him.

  “I’m not complaining.” His fingers clung to my wrists as the soles on my gray, canvas shoes slipped up the worn steps.

  “It’s hot. I’m sweatin’. I don’t want to go campin’,” his voiced pitched high to mock me.

  “I’m going to hit you.”

  “Shut up and sit down.”

  “Fine!” I hissed, despising the fact I had to touch him.

  The cab didn’t have room for two people. It was really just one seat with a small fender ledge over the tire. I plopped down on the hot metal, feeling it burn through my jeans. Jess fired the tractor up and we rolled forward. The breeze picked up as we made the first curve.

  “You wanna drive?”

  “Is that your apology for being an ass?”

  “Stop shootin’ off your mouth and get over here.” Jess pulled me from the ledge into his lap. My fingers grabbed the steering wheel as my shoulders relaxed into his chest. It was hot and sticky being pressed against him. The sweat of his body seeped through the back of my shirt.

  “This is different than driving a car.”

  “Yeah, it takes a little body movement to turn the wheel. It’s got some power steerin’ issues.”

  I made the turn a little wide and tried to line back up in the row. My palms fought the wheel to stay in a straight line. Tractor driving was hard, but fun. The wind kicked up putting a breeze across my hot cheeks.

  “Al, you smell like hamburgers.”

  “Hamburgers? Geez, Jess. You smell like sweaty gym socks washed in horse shit.”

  “You must like it too, or you wouldn’t be sittin’ here,” he laughed in my ear. “You know you want some of it.” He smeared his hands over my arms and across the top of my legs.

  “Stop it, jackass!”

  I heard the laugher building in his voice. This was bad. Jess seriously would not go there today. His fingers dug into the side of my ribs and tickled their way up under my armpits.

  “Quit,” I screamed, but his fingers moved down across my stomach. I fought back, but his hands kept finding more places to grab my body. Finally, I elbowed him hard in the gut. “Stop!”

  “I’m sorry.” Jess released his hands, letting me slide back to my place on the ledge. “It’s just too much fun, making you look mad.”

  “I am mad at you!” I spat back.

  “I know,” he continued to laugh. “Your face is gettin’ all red, and angry lookin’.”

  My eyes narrowed, shooting death rays at his white, smiling teeth. I clung to the ledge, hoping to keep myself as far away as I could from Jess. I inhaled deeply, trying to calm my anger. The smell of freshly cut grass filled my nose as we rounded the field for another pass through the meadow.

  “I’m sorry. Don’t be mad. Come here.”

  “No,” I huffed.

  “Come on. I’m really sorry.” His blue eyes pleaded, trying to win me over.

  I let Jess put an arm around my waist. He pulled me back down into his lap. I fell against his chest, feeling his heart beat fast through the sweaty shirt. The pounding slowed down to a steady rhythm as he held me close to his body. This time, his fingers stayed in place across my rib cage.

  “Are you still mad at me?”

  “No,” I muttered. I never could stay mad at him for long. His sweet face never allowed it.

  “I like it when you ride with me. You haven’t been out all summer.”

  “I know,” I said, letting out a deep breath.

  “I know you like it too.”

  “I guess.”

  “You guess?” He chuckled next to my ear.

  “Yes.”

  Ashley wouldn’t have the same answer if she drove out to Sprayberry. Riding on the tractor with Jess just might get my house burned down, or rather the Mason’s farmhouse.

  His arm tightened around my waist as we bounced over some ruts. The burn scars popped out from his skin, shining through the dirt and bits of grass. His flesh singed forever from our afternoon in the snow. I touched the biggest gash next to his elbow. Hair didn’t even grow over most of the places. They looked painful, but I knew he didn’t feel a thing. My fingers traced along his skin until the jagged lines ended by his wrist.

  “You know,” he spoke close to my cheek. “I don’t really mind it much when Frank has me cuttin’ grass. It’s kind of peaceful, don’t you think?”

  I shrugged against his chest. As long as she stayed in my life, there would be no peace. I wish there was another way around this Ashley situation. I needed to stop being the victim and find a solution; one that didn’t involve Jess.

  “It’s one of my favorite things ‘bout this place,” he said in that syrupy voice. “I like it better though when I’m out here with you.”

  “Would you be quiet? It’s not peaceful with your constant blabbing in my ear.”

  “You know you like me blabbin’ in your ear,” he smirked next to my cheek.

  I rolled my eyes even though a grin stayed on my lips. That boy drove me crazy sometimes.

  We traveled up and down the meadow with the tractor rocking us back and forth, in a clunky rhythm. Leaning my head back against his shoulder, I listened to Jess hum one of his dirt road songs. I wanted that peace he talked about so fondly. Closing my eyes, I did my best to enjoy the rest of the rare, Ashley free, afternoon with Jess.

  Chapter 20

  When I was sixteen…

  I sat alone under a tree and watched the boat return with the rest of the group. It had been a nice, quiet few hours while everyone else played on Possum Kingdom Lake. Jess, Ashley, Lila, and I had left yesterday in his Ford truck, pulling the boat. Gentry Jones followed behind in his Tahoe with another one of the players, Buzz Farland, and Katie Rae.

  Natalie had flat-out refused to even consider the trip. I pleaded and then threatened with every piece of dirt I could muster. She gave me a dead pan stare and said, I would rather stick my hand in the deep fryer at Jeeter’s than be in literal hell for the weekend. I’m not sure you deserve to be first in our class if you’re that stupid to go too.

  The two-story cabin had full-size and bunk beds spread out in the different rooms. I opted for a small, twin bed off the second story landing. It was not in a bedroom, but I would rather be there than stuck in a closed off room with one of the Ashley-bots.

  As for the guys, I didn’t know much about Gentry since he moved to Arlis at the end of last year. Jess befriended the outsider the first day he stepped in school.

  As for Buzz, he was really Bobby. Jess said the nickname went back to the time he showed up in kindergarten with bloody, mangy spots missing from his hair. His dad got drunk and tried to use the dog clippers. Mrs. Mason took Bobby to the barber and got the spots evened out, but it was too late. Arlis officially dubbed him Buzz.

  “Hey, watcha workin’ on?”

&nbs
p; Startled, I looked up over my drawing pad to see Gentry’s green eyes. “Umm…just a picture of the shoreline.”

  The broad-shouldered boy sat down next to me. Gentry had the body of a dump truck with tree limbs as legs. He played defense for the football team. By some armchair coaches, Gentry was the defense, like a cement wall that blocked while Jess ran the ball.

  “Can I see?”

  “Ok,” I muttered, handing over the notepad. I watched him study the picture. His short, buzzed-off hair suited his wide face. Anything longer would just look silly.

  “You’re good. I’ve seen some of your other’s in Jess's room.”

  “Thanks.” I mumbled, feeling a little sick. I didn’t think about people looking at those drawings. I’m sure Ashley loved seeing the watercolors tacked on the wall of his room.

  “So we’re goin’ back out to see some cliffs on the north side. You should come.”

  I looked at Ashley out on the dock in a tiny bikini that sculpted her butt and barely covered anything on her chest. A daunting feeling flooded my nerves. I committed to the trip, so I needed to just get out there. It wasn’t like we would be alone together.

  “Ok,” I smiled. “I’ll put my stuff away and be down in sec.”

  Jess gave me a surprised look when I boarded the boat, but he didn’t say anything. I knew he would be intrigued with my decision to join the rest of the group. Keeping my tank and shorts on, I didn’t even look at Ashley.

  A silhouette of cliffs outlined the distance view long before we reached the shore. This was a bad decision on my part. I wasn’t really thinking about the intent to jump from the cliffs when Gentry suggested the boat ride to see them.

  Jess leaned over and whispered in my ear, “You don’t have to go up.”

  I made eye contact with Ashley as he said the words. Her lips clipped on a cryptic smile. I took a deep breath and muttered, “I’m ok.”

  Jess anchored his boat off a small inlet on the rocky, back-side of the cliff. Everyone climbed out and started the hike to the top. Last to leave, I dropped my clothes and stepped out in my modest, black two-piece suit. I slipped and crawled over the jagged incline of rocks. Jess lagged back, pulling me over some of the larger ones. I swatted him away.