Reaching the summit, my eyes took in the jaw-dropping, forty or so foot ledge that over-looked the dark lagoon. Shit! The word circled over and over through my head. I never would have made the climb if I’d seen this view from the boat.
The guys rushed for the first jump, leaving me with the girls. Katie Rae went next, followed by Lila. They squealed all the way down into the water. Ashley extended a nonverbal, middle-finger challenge before propelling off in the distance.
Last to go, I peered over the edge. The water was like a black pit into hell. Panic spread through my chest. There’s no way I could jump. My body wouldn’t allow my decent into a bottomless pool. Backing away from the crumbling edge, I hid from view. My stomach twisted up and my skin got clammy.
“Alex?” Jess yelled.
I couldn’t speak or I would throw up. This was bad. I could never face any of them. If I didn’t jump, Ashley would make me pay. Her imaginary taunts rang loud in my ears.
“Aaaaaa-lex!” I heard Jess's deep, funny voice. When I didn’t reply again, he shouted back, “Seriously Al, are you ok?”
I put a single palm in the air with a thumbs-up sign. Closing my eyes, I pictured myself anywhere but on top of a damn cliff. I hoped they would just go away in the water and forget about me. The hot sun burned my skin, but I stayed in the circled up position. A little bit later, I heard a scrapping sound alongside the rock path. His sweaty face came into view.
“Hey….you still up here?”
“Where do you think I went,” I mumbled.
He reached the top of the cliff and crawled over next to me on the ground. His concerned blue eyes stared into mine. I glanced away. My stomach rolled over again, and I bit down hard on my lip.
“Hey, stop that. You’re gonna bite a hole through it one of these days.”
I let go, tasting salty blood on my tongue.
“Look at me,” he said softly. “It’s ok. You don’t have to jump. I can get you back down the trail. But, if you wanna jump, I’ll help you.”
“You gonna just toss me over?”
“Thought ‘bout it, but I’m afraid you’d hate me. Can’t have you hatin’ me anymore than you already do on this trip.”
“I don’t hate you.”
“Yes, you do,” he grinned. Reaching up to my face, Jess tucked a piece of red hair behind my ear. His eyes trailed down my neck and over my skin to the red scar on my rib cage. I thought the color would fade, but it was still a nasty, feisty red a year later.
Reaching down, Jess touched the three inch gash just below my bikini top. A mark made by a fishing lure right into my gut. It hurt like hell that afternoon when he hooked me. It hurt even worse when he clicked the reel and wedged it under my skin. I screamed even louder as he worked it free from my stomach. The lure left a nasty, pond-water-infected gash. I had needed stitches and a shot. Instead, Jess had talked me into super-gluing it shut.
“I did a shitty job fixin’ that up.” His fingers felt cool on my bare skin as he touched the mark.
“Yeah, I think that every time I take a shower.”
“You think about me naked in the shower?” His smiled, trying not to laugh.
“Don’t be gross.”
“You’re the one who said it.” Jess gave my ribs a quick pinch, his blue eyes getting that ornery look in them.
“Stop it,” I warned.
Giggles drifted up from the black water, getting my attention. I pictured her face, feeling my stomach clench again. I knew what needed to happen.
“What’s this plan of yours to get me to jump?”
“I’ll jump with you.”
“You actually think that will work.”
“Come on.” Jess stood up, grabbing my hand. With our fingers still intertwined, I saw everyone floating in the dark pool below the cliff. They cheered as we came into view of the ledge. Our shuffling feet bounced a few pebbles off the side. I felt Ashley’s vicious stare all the way up, forty feet in the air. My stomach clenched again. Backing away from Jess, I bent over dry heaving.
“Al, let’s just go back down the trail.”
“No!” I gasped, looking up still doubled over at the waist.
“I’m not doin’ somethin’ that purposely terrifies the crap out of you.”
“I have to do this.”
“No, you don’t. I wanted you to have fun and you’re not havin’ fun. No one cares if you jump or not.”
“I care. I’m doing this for me.” I gathered myself up and told the angry bile in my stomach to be quiet. Deep breath in through my nose; deep breath out through my mouth. I chanted it over and over in my head.
“I’m better. Let’s do this.”
His troubled blue eyes stared intently at my face. I saw Jess weighing my decision, like it was his to make in the situation. A full minute passed before he caved in to me.
“You’re ‘bout as stubborn as hell sometimes. Ok, if this is what you really want, then I‘ll help. You’ll just have to trust me. Can you do that?”
“Yes,” I nodded without hesitating.
“It’s gonna be deep when we hit the water. I’ll find you and pull you to shore.”
“Ok.”
Jess put my hands on each of his shoulders then slipped his arms around my waist. These days, he stood taller than my five foot, nine inch body. I watched sweat trickle down his neck. Taking a deep breath, I nodded ready.
“Look at me and forget ‘bout everythin’ down there. You got this,” he said, trying to reassure me.
I tried to push the water and Ashley far from the racing thoughts in my mind. I trusted Jess. He would get me through this without getting hurt. It was all in my head. My eyes locked with his blue ones.
“I’m gonna count to three, then push off the side.”
“Ok.” I swallowed the bile back in my throat. My fingers dug into his sweaty skin.
Everything went silent except for his voice and the pounding of my heart.
“One.” Pound.
“Two.” Pound.
“Three.” Pound.
“Jump!”
He crushed me against his chest. My feet lifted up in the air as we pushed off the ledge. The decent seemed to go for ten minutes when in reality, it probably wasn’t even ten seconds. My stomach lurched into my throat and my breath was gone. I screamed as we plunged into the water, knocking up apart. The impact pushed me deep in the black water.
Jess found my hand and pulled me to the surface. I heard loud cheers around me. My nose burned from not pinching it. I gasped for air, trying to stay above water. Jess pulled me around to his back and locked my arms around his neck.
“Th…thank you,” I said, trying to catch my breath.
“How’s it possible, you never took swimmin’ lessons?”
“I don’t know.” I did know. I hated the water and the Masons paying for it.
I clung to his back; my bikini-clad body pressed tight against his skin. I raised my hand to high-five Gentry as we passed. My eyes drifted over to Ashley. She wasn’t smiling like everyone else in the water. Her eyes shot an icy warning in my direction.
Later that evening, Jess and the boys went back out on the lake, leaving me at the campfire with the girls. I wanted to beg them to take me on the boat, but it wasn’t the best idea. Given Ashley’s current temperament, I didn’t know if it was better staying with her, or leaving with Jess.
In the shadows of the fire, I kept my attention on a long string dangling off the leg of my cutoffs. Ashley acted like I wasn’t here; at least she did for now.
“That’s enough with Buzz. You were hangin’ all over him today,” she glared at Katie Rae. “He will think you’re willin’ to follow through with it.”
“He nice and he pays attention to me,” she paused, seeing the irritation on Ashley’s face. “I just want Buzz to ask me to homecoming.”
“The same way you got Evan Wiley to Spring Fling last year?”
“It didn’t happen. You …you know that,” she flushed, stumbling ov
er her words. Spring Fling earned Katie Rae a reputation for extra-curricular car activities that spread through the halls of Arlis high school.
“I know what, exactly.” Ashley’s nose snarled a little.
“Nothin’.” Katie Rae slipped a glance toward me, then back to Ashley.
Heat flooded my checks with the implication I was ease dropping. Pulling out a bag of Doritos, I pretended to be somewhere else, but the details lingered in my mind. I had ammunition if I could figure out how to use it. I think that blonde bitch hooked up with Evan while she was with Jess.
“Ashley, I know you don’t like Buzz, but he’s really sweet. The other day he bought…”
“Stop boring me with the details of your trailer trash.”
“He’s gettin’ a scholarship. Scouts have already come to the games.”
“It’s jucco, Katie Rae. Know the difference. Anything less than D1, will get you livin’ in a single-wide, eatin’ beanie weenies out of can.”
“I’m not marrin’ him. It’s just homecoming.”
“I’m sorry, I guess I wasn’t thinkin’ clearly,” she turned with a sly smile, acknowledging my presence for the first time. “Not everyone can be me and have Jess Mason.”
“I know. You’re just the cutest couple,” Katie Rae squealed. “He’s goin’ to be so cute in a suit. I bet your dress will…”
“Enough fawnin’ all over me,” she spat, cutting her off. “Shut it down with Buzz. I better see you far away from him the rest of the trip. Are we clear?”
“Yes,” she muttered in submission. I popped a Dorrito in my mouth, watching the sad show.
“So girls,” she purred in an odd voice. “Let’s play a game while the boys are gone. You in, Alex?”
I swallowed the chip feeling it scrape down my throat. Her attention moved to me.
“Why not.” I met her stare, holding my ground. I popped another Dorrito. Her eyes blinked in disgust, tracing over my old t-shirt and cut-offs. I crunched on the chip, pretending not to care.
Ashley went to the cabin and returned with four cups of vodka, each with a splash of Sprite. Jess had snuck a few cases of beer in with the rest of the supplies, but I didn’t know anyone had brought hard liquor on the trip. I wasn’t much of a drinker. Sometimes, Jess brought beer when we went fishing. This would be my first experience with something stronger.
“Ok girls, the game is, I Have Never. There’s only one rule. You make a true statement about yourself, on something you have never done. If someone else has done this statement, that person takes a drink.”
We all nodded in agreement. I swallowed hard, wishing I had gone on the boat.
“Alex, you start.” The cool eyes of Ashley flashed at me.
“Ok.” I looked over and said the first thing I could find different from us. “I have never been a cheerleader.”
I watched all three of them take a sip. We went around the circle. Katie Rae rattled off something about eating sushi. My cup stayed clasped in my hand. Ashley was next.
“I have never worn clothes from Goodwill.” Her gaze locked with mine as my fingers dug into the side of my red solo cup. Was she serious? I lifted the rim to my lips and took a swig, feeling the burn of the vodka all the way to my belly button.
“It’s your turn, Lila,” Ashley said without even looking at her. Lila’s eyes flickered over to me and back to Ashley.
“Um, ok,” her voiced held a tremor. “I have never had sex with Jess Mason.”
Ashley’s sculpted eyebrows arched up at me as she took a sip. Her eyelashes batted in my direction. What the hell? Did she think I would drink to that one?
“Alex?”
I jumped. “What?”
“It’s your turn to go.”
“Right,” I muttered. “I have never umm…had a speeding ticket.”
Lila drank to that one. Katie Rae followed with a comment about Sea World. I took another sip based on the trip two summers ago with the Masons. The next question was about Disney World. I took another swallow, for another Mason family trip that included me.
Ashley stared straight at me on her turn. “I have never thrown myself at Jess and got rejected.”
My stomach tightened; the alcohol swirling. Did she think her calculated planted question would pull some deep confession out of me?
“Alex?”
“Huh.” Her lipstick glowed in the flames. Everyone's fingers held in place on the plastic cups. The buzz grew stronger between my ears.
“It’s your turn again unless…there’s somethin’ you want to tell us. We can keep a secret, you know. If you want to talk about it?”
“I’m fine.”
Her evil smile watched me fidget. This game would be dirty in the low-down, female backstabbing, form of crap. We continued to play over the next hour. I took swig after swig from her pointed questions. The faces across the campfire blurred into the night. The three Witches of Eastwick haunted me through the hazy view of the flames. The sneers and laughs floated in a satanic feeling as the vodka circled through my blood stream.
“I have never lived in a car that smelled like dirty diapers. What’s that sayin’…I have never slept where I shit.” Her glossy lips pursed in a cryptic smile.
My eyes blinked a few times in a dead stare across the flames. At this point, the liquor had my brain numb. I held the cup up in her direction for a toast then kicked it back for a swallow. The vodka rolled into my stomach. I was too drunk for the ultimate slam to even hurt.
By the time Jess returned, I could barely hold myself up straight. Two bags of Doritos were empty and my fingers were all orange. I wiped the stains across my stomach and giggled, seeing the marks.
“I ate chips,” I muttered, his blue eyes staring me. I tried to stand up, but tripped toward the campfire. Jess caught my arm before I hit the flames. Sitting me back down, he lifted my cup for a sniff. His frowning face bobbed around, like a balloon then floated away.
“What the hell did you do to her?”
“Nothin’ she didn’t want to do.”
He went over to Ashley. Their voices got louder, but I couldn’t hear the words. Gentry put an arm under my legs and picked me.
“I can take her back to the cabin,” he said, looking over at Jess.
The rest of the conversation floated in and out in jumbled pieces. I willed my brain to focus on the words. I think Jess was angry at Ashley. A laugh bubbled out of my lips. Everything just felt funny. As Gentry carried me up the stairs, I muttered incoherent words against his shoulder. I felt like a twig in his tree trunk arms. My hand gripped his shoulder feeling the solid muscle.
“They’s right. You’s are cement.”
He laughed at me. “You sound like someone from the old West when you’re drunk.”
“No, I’s don’t…not,” I babbled back. “Hey, I’s gots a question. Jess mad at Ash-a lee?”
“Yeah, a little. You were drinkin’ vodka and the rest of ‘em were drinkin’ plain Sprite.”
“What’s? Not fairs,” I slurred.
“No, not really, I guess. You were the only one who was playin’ a drinkin’ game.” He sat me down on my bed and smiled. His green eyes split from two to four. “You goin’ to be ok up here by yourself?”
“I’s sure. Fine.” My fingers waved around trying to touch his face to make it be still. His cheek felt soft in the dim light. His shoulders were hard and his cheek was nice. Gentry captured my hand to place it back on the bed.
“Ok. Well, I’ll let you go to sleep. ‘Night, Alex.”
“Thanks Gentry. You’s nice.” My eyes slid closed and everything went black.
Sometime later, I regained consciousness, but it was still dark. The moon cast shadows across the second floor landing. My mouth felt dry, and my tongue was scratchy. The inside of my stomach rolled around scorched and angry.
“You ok?” A faint voice came from the floor.
I struggled to sit straight and keep my brain from spinning. Every cell of my body still felt drunk. I
guess I was still drunk. It took a moment for the heap on the floor to come into focus. The faint light from the window reflected back two blue eyes.
“Jess?”
“Yeah,” he whispered.
“Why are you here?”
“I was worried about you.” He scooted up to sit beside me on the twin bed. I felt his hand in the center of my back right between my shoulder blades. The pressure felt soothing as Jess talked low against my spinning head. “Are you ok?”
“Yeah.”
“What happened down there?”
“Nothing.”
The spinning question took too much effort to keep my head up. I collapsed backward, bouncing with the impact. The contents of my stomach sloshed around up to my throat. I needed keep still or I would be very sick.
The bed shifted with his weight. Jess stretched out beside me on the twin bed. I relaxed next to his warm body. As I slipped back unconscious, I heard a few faint words against my cheek.
“I’m sorry I made you come.”
The next morning, Jess was gone. I felt all levels of hell from my head to my stomach to my feet. I puked one last time and slid my brown sunglasses in place. The pounding in my forehead practically vibrated the lenses. I had no intentions of seeing or talking to a single person. I dreaded the car ride back to Arlis. If Ashley knew where Jess stayed last night, she would be royally pissed on the ride home.
“Hey Alex, you wanna ride with us.” I looked at Gentry standing by his Tahoe. I glanced quickly over to Jess's truck. His face held a twisted frown that broadcasted the level of his frustration. Ashley caught my attention as she jerked Katie Rae inside the cab. I guess that was her tyrannical move to keep Katie Rae away from Buzz, and score a second win by keeping me out of the truck. Grabbing my duffle bag, I walked over to the Tahoe. I wanted no part of her drama this morning.
Jess watched me climb in the back seat. After this trip, he would make me talk. Maybe it was time to put a stop to Ashley Cartwright the only way I knew would work. I needed to tell Jess the truth. My stomach felt sicker just thinking about it.
The Mason List Page 12