by P. Jameson
Magic stood to his full height, making the bathroom seem like part of a doll house. “Then you go out and find more, but you don’t find a mate and you don’t find a family. Hell, take up canoeing or fucking needle point if you have to, but we don’t break the code.”
Renner bent over the sink. The sick feeling in his gut hadn’t gone away since last night, but this talk with Magic was making it worse.
“Think about it, Renner,” his tone was a touch calmer, “We aren’t cut out for the kind of relationship your human will expect.”
“What are you saying?”
“She’ll expect you to be faithful. They don’t understand our ways when it comes to love.”
“That isn’t a human thing, Magic. Our females want that too. My mom did. I bet if we asked Layna she’d say the same.”
His expression turned bewildered. Like Renner had just revealed the answer to a mystery.
“Didn’t Mandi ever say anything—“
“Don’t mention her,” Magic growled.
Renner’s mouth snapped shut. He hadn’t meant to, he was just trying to make sense of things.
Magic shook his head. “No. This is who we are. It’s our nature, and it doesn’t work for relationships. Not with our own, and especially not with humans.”
“Maybe it’s a choice, huh? Maybe we just choose to be faithful. Maybe we make sure we belong to them as much as they belong to us and we stick to it no matter what happens. Make the commitment mean something. Maybe we do something no cats have ever done before. Maybe we become better.”
Renner threw his tools back in his box. He’d fix the leaky faucet later.
“Just think about it.”
He strode past Magic before he could say anymore.
Chapter Five
It was five o’clock and Renner had worked like fucking hell to get things knocked off his list. It kept him busy and he’d stayed away from Bethany, but he was done with that. He needed to see her and so did his panther. Needed to see if she was okay. Needed to watch her move naturally, in her smooth sensual way, instead of stilted and tense. Needed to see her lips and her eyes and maybe touch her skin again.
Nothing could stop him.
Layna stepped in his way, causing him to practically skid in his tracks so as not to plow into her.
Correction. Nothing could stop him except that.
“No.”
“I need to see her.”
“No. In fact, hell no.”
“I just need to make sure she’s alright.”
Layna nodded. “Yeah, okay. I’ll just add a ‘fuck no’ to that.”
Renner grit his teeth, running a hand through his hair.
“This is for the good of everyone. I think you know that.”
Frustration was getting the best of him. His panther wouldn’t let him give up. “I talked to Magic. He’s fine with me spending time with her as long as it doesn’t get serious.”
Layna’s face turned cold. “Well, I’m not. She doesn’t deserve you fucking with her heart. And besides…” Her voice became a whisper. “Do you really think you can do this without getting serious? I thought you cared about Bethy.”
He shrugged but he had to really work to make it look careless. “I don’t know who she is anymore. Maybe she won’t matter like she used to.” Fat fucking chance, but his sister didn’t have to know that.
Layna narrowed her gaze, and Renner geared up to make his case more convincing when the door behind them swung open and out stepped Bethany. She was like a punch to his gut. All the air left him. She wore the same uniform she did every day, and her hair was done up and out of her face like it always was but today… he wanted to fall at her feet and worship.
Her eyes fluttered away as she spotted him. With a deep breath, she approached, her hips swaying as she walked. It wasn’t on purpose. It was just the way she moved. Made him want to grab those hips and pull her close and feel his body against hers. Bury his face in her neck and ask her forgiveness. For all of it. For the past and for the present and for the damned future.
Renner swallowed the knot in his throat. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
“Can I talk to you?” He could feel Layna’s dragon breath gaze but he focused on Bethany.
She glanced at his sister and then back at Renner. “Sure, I guess so.”
“Alone? It’ll only take a minute.”
Bethany nodded and turned to lead him down the hall.
Layna caught his arm as he pushed past. “I’m on to you, Ren,” she hissed.
He yanked his arm free and ran to catch up with Bethany. She stopped at the first empty conference room and slid inside. He shut the door behind them.
There was so much he wanted to say but the first thing to tumble out of his mouth sounded cliché. “How are you doing?”
Bethany’s eyebrows went up. “I’m… fine. Just trying to get through the week so we can both move past this.”
She was still planning on leaving. Damn, he might as well go all in. Balls to the wall. Just lay it all open.
“I didn’t forget you, Bethy.”
Her eyes squeezed closed. “Please. Don’t call me that.”
“I didn’t recognize you because you’ve changed, but I never forgot you. Or Ryan or Mama Robertson. You three were my family.”
She canted her head as if she was measuring his words.
Renner took a step closer. “Can we start over? Can… can we have dinner and talk?”
“I really don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Shouldn’t we talk things over? Sort this out?”
She shrugged but it didn’t come off as careless as she’d probably hoped. “What is there to sort out? You’re just someone I used to know. We crossed paths again and now it’s time to move along.”
Fuck. Her words hurt. But she didn’t mean them. She couldn’t.
He was close enough to grab her hand now. Carefully, he brought it to his face, rubbing his cheek against the back. His panther purred inside. “That’s not exactly true though, is it? We’re more than that.”
She shook her head, her eyes wide. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He needed to start by making amends for the past. “The boy you knew when we were kids, he isn’t me. He wasn’t even me back then. I pretended to hate you to push you away and I’m sorry.” He looked deep into her eyes, telling her something he’d never told another. “It’s my biggest regret.”
She swallowed and opened her mouth to say something, but then hesitated. He took advantage of her pause, forging ahead with his explanation.
“There are things I can’t explain. Things I don’t understand myself. But I’d like the chance to make things right between us.” As right as they could be. Maybe this was a mistake, but his panther wouldn’t let him back off. And he didn’t want to anyway. “Please. Stay and give me some time. Just until the holidays are over, and you can decide what you want to do then.”
“I don’t know.” She sighed heavily, but didn’t pull her hand away.
He swept his thumb along the inside of her wrist, reveling in the delicate skin there. Bringing it to his mouth, he gently brushed his lips over the spot. He heard her tiny gasp, and all the blood rushed below his waist. His tongue darted out, tasting her. She smelled like herbs and spices and exotic oils, but she tasted like all woman. Her fingers curled around his hand so that he wasn’t the only one holding on.
He could lick her forever and be content as long as she responded like this.
Instead, he grazed the area with his teeth causing tiny goosebumps to break out along her skin.
“Renner?” His name on her lips was choked but it sounded delicious.
“Mmm hmm.” More licking and careful biting. More of her fingers digging into his hand.
“What are you…” her breathy question trailed off as he sucked on the delicate bone on the outside of her wrist.
Renner grabbed her other hand threading his fingers throug
h hers while he continued his tasting.
“Why are you…” Once again, her question didn’t make it out whole.
He nudged her back against the wall, anchoring her there with his hips. “Why am I what?” he asked, against her skin.
He heard her swallow and her rapid breathing. “Kissing me.”
“I’m not kissing.”
An almost imperceptible whimper left her as his lips nibbled a trail up her arm. His tongue swirled at the crease of her elbow.
“That,” she breathed. “Why are you doing that?”
“Because. I’m holding back.” He sucked until the spot turned pink. “I want to do more. So much more.”
Her scent intensified, transforming into something darker, secretive. His throat rumbled with a purr. She wanted him too.
Too fast. This was too fast. There was too much between them right now, and he needed to think about what he wanted from her. Could he actually do what Magic suggested? Could he be with her and then let her go all over again?
He pulled away to look into her hooded eyes. “Dinner?” he husked.
She blinked away the fog of arousal. “I can’t.”
“Why not?”
Her chest heaved, brushing against his with every labored breath. His eyes dropped to the open collar of her polo shirt. He’d lick her collar bone next. And get this shirt off so he could—
“No food,” she murmured.
Reluctantly, his gaze went back to her eyes. “No food?”
Her teeth came down on her lip as she seemed to be considering something. “We can talk if you want. But I won’t do dinner.”
Renner frowned. Odd. But it wasn’t a ‘no’. “Deal. Meet me by the nativity after dinner?”
She nodded.
He released her hands and stepped back. The void he felt when their bodies were no longer connected was deep and wide. He had to find a way to change Magic’s mind. He’d make this mating work if she’d have him. Somehow.
***
Bethany went through the rest of the day in a haze. It was like she’d never been touched before. Like, she’d been asleep until Renner’s mouth woke her. And now that he was gone, she was only part there.
What the hell?
This was a dangerous feeling. She knew that much but felt powerless to stop it. If talking things through, as he’d suggested, helped her overcome this breath-robbing sensation, then she’d do it. But dear god, how was she going to stop from letting him have his way with her? And how could she reconcile this Renner with the boy from her past.
The boy hated her. Called her names. Made her life miserable. Laughed when she cried. Left her. Forgot her.
The man wanted her. Pursued her. Kissed her. Licked her. Like she was his favorite flavor.
Beth took a deep breath, hoping to stop the trembling she hadn’t been able to shake since the conference room.
But the man also wanted her to forget their past. Forget what he’d done, how he’d made her feel. How he’d shaped her beliefs about herself and her relationships. She didn’t know if she could.
She made her way to the back of the lodge restaurant where employees gathered for dinner. Layna was already there at an empty table. She waved Beth over.
“Sit,” she commanded. “I’ll get your food.”
“No, I can get—” She stopped Beth with a single look. “Okay. Thanks.”
Layna brought back a plate filled with Eagan’s meatloaf, homemade mashed potatoes and parsnips, and rolls the size of a baseball. The salad bowl was small but Beth went at it first even though she knew the meatloaf was the star of the meal.
“How are you?” Layna asked, using her straw to stir the ice in her cup.
“Fine.”
“Ren? Did you two work things out?”
Beth stuffed three forkfuls of lettuce in her mouth before she answered. “Not exactly.”
Layna eyed her, seeming to see past her short answers. “Damn. This is going to be trouble isn’t it?”
“Not if I leave,” Beth snapped.
“That’s not what I meant.”
Beth ate as fast as she could. She needed some time to unwind before she met with Renner, and this conversation was uncomfortable.
“It wouldn’t matter if you stayed or left. I know my brother and he’s… well… this is going to be complicated.”
Beth dropped her fork on her plate. “What do you mean by ‘this’ exactly?”
Layna stood and collected her empty plate. “Stick around and you’ll see,” she threw over her shoulder.
“Hey, I thought you wanted me to stay,” Beth called after her.
She glanced back. “I do.” A mischievous grin slid into place. “I never said I couldn’t appreciate a little bit of trouble. Just… be careful.”
“What’s she going on about?” Eagan scooted into Layna’s empty chair as she made her way out of the restaurant.
Beth shrugged and spooned some meatloaf into her mouth.
“How is it?” he asked, his eyes twinkling. The man took pride in his food. And his body. His arms were sculpted and she suspected the rest of him was too. But that knowledge didn’t leave her weak in the knees. She knew his tongue wouldn’t have her still trembling hours later as Renner’s had.
“Delicious,” she said, smiling. “Your best yet.”
“Ah, I believe you. A smile like that can’t be hiding a lie.”
Eagan was also a voracious flirt.
“Lookie there.” He reached forward and ran a finger across her cheek. “My favorite color.”
Damn her fair skin and round cheeks. They made the perfect dumping ground for a fierce blush.
Beth looked away but when she did, her eyes clashed with Renner’s furious ones. He stood in the doorway of the restaurant looking murderous. His gaze snapped to Eagan, and Beth braced herself for a confrontation.
Magic suddenly appeared in her vision.
“We have a problem,” he told Eagan.
Beth chewed her lip. Yeah, and his name started with an R.
“What is it?”
Magic glanced at her quickly and then bent lower to the table. “Hunters. In our woods. The same ones who gave me shit yesterday. Mason spotted them. They wanted permission to go after deer. I get the feeling they’re ignoring my ‘fuck no.’”
“Shit,” Eagan spat.
Beth jumped from his curse. She’d never heard him talk any other way than sugar coated.
“Yeah, you get Renner and meet me out back in ten.”
Eagan nodded, already rising from the table.
Beth opened her mouth to tell them Renner was there, but they both took off so fast she didn’t have a chance. When she looked back at the door, Renner was long gone.
Chapter Six
Bethany figured it didn’t count as standing Renner up since he was obviously busy dealing with the hunters. If she went to her room instead of the nativity, and crashed, it wouldn’t be ducking out. But for once, she didn’t feel like being cooped up in her room. She’d been keeping to herself for most of her time at the lodge in hopes of avoiding him. But now, the secret was out and she just wanted to roam.
The lodge was expansive, with a number of small trails that led to the different facilities. There were three pool areas, each made to look like it could have naturally appeared in nature. They were closed but the hot springs were open. Everything was built to feel like you were right in the middle of nowhere, even though you were surrounded by others. People came here to get away, but not too far away. It was a perfect compromise.
Beth ended up in front of the nativity without really meaning to. It wasn’t complete yet, but the framework for the stable was done and the manger sat small and lonely in the center. It was quiet, and that’s why the gunshot was so loud. It cracked through the silent night like a judge’s gavel declaring a death sentence. Followed by another. And another.
She jumped, her heart fluttering at the surprise. Adrenaline made her fingers and toes numb, and her gut cramp.
The hunters.
Beth drew in several lungfuls of air before her mind caught up with the fact that the shot was just someone looking for fresh meat. She laughed out loud. Like, she’d never shot a rifle before. Ryan had taught her how before she’d left for college.
Sinking down to the cold, damp ground, she let her head fall to her gloved hands. She needed a break. Maybe a spa day of her own. Have someone work out all the stress kinks. She imagined her troubles with Josie, her run-in with Renner, her job situation, all of it, just slipping away under someone’s skillful hands. Christina or Mason would surely fit her in.
There was a flurry of activity at the edge of the woods just past the circle of light from the lodge lamps. Someone she didn’t recognized yelled, “Get Doc Davis!”
Who the hell was Doc Davis?
Beth stood to her feet, looking for anyone who could help. “What’s happened?”
“We need Doc now,” the stranger growled. “Find her. Send her to cabin 12. Hurry.”
Shit.
Beth ran down the path back to the lodge. Bursting through the main door, she gave a good scare to a few visitors sipping hot cocoa in front of the grand fireplace. She skidded to a stop at the front desk and tried to catch her breath.
“Doc Davis,” she blurted.
The girl manning the desk—she was new—shook her head in confusion.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” Layna’s voice snapped from behind Beth.
“I don’t know. I-I heard a shot. Hunters. Someone said to get Doc Davis, send her to cabin 12.”
Layna’s face paled. Like winter falling over autumn. She dug in her pocket, retrieving a cell phone and handing it to Beth. “Speed dial 2. Tell her what you just told me.”
She was out the door before Beth could ask her where cabin 12 was.
Quickly, she dialed the doctor and relayed the information. Then she stepped behind the counter and shuffled through a stack of maps. But there was no cabin 12 listed.
“Damn it.”
Minutes later Christina ran through the lobby with a large pack on her back. Doc Davis?
Beth hurried to catch up to her, but she was fast. She was already jumping on a four-wheeler as Beth came down the stairs. She ran across the yard and into the dirt road, causing gravel to spit as the vehicle came to a stop.