“Don’t what? Don’t be honest?”
“No. Don’t make this about jealousy. Don’t make it sound like I cheated on you or something. I didn’t.”
He’s right. We made no promises to each other. We had no relationship between us for him to defy, but I still feel hurt.
“Justice isn’t the enemy, Mercy. I tried to tell you that before. She’s as much a victim in this as you or I.”
“She’s …” Oh, forget it. I’m too tired to argue with him. “I know.”
“What?” A puzzled look flashes on Gage’s face.
“You’re right. She didn’t ask for this anymore than I did. And if she did actually save your life—”
“She did.”
“Then I’m grateful.” I slide my hands into my back pockets. “You deserve to be happy, and if she makes you happy then I guess I’ll have to deal with it.”
“You’re really okay with this?”
Again, uncomfortable laughter escapes me. “I’m not okay with any of this. I’m so far from okay …” I’m sobbing again.
Gage doesn’t hesitate. He rushes toward me and scoops me into his arms.
“My dad …”
Gage holds me up. I will easily fall to the ground without his support, and that’s when it hits me. Support. Comfort. Someone to lean on—that’s what he’s found in Justice, what she’s found in him.
I’m angry at how easy it is for them when it isn’t easy for me. How did they do it? How did they come together when I am only able to deny my feelings? Because that’s what I’ve been doing this entire time. I’ve been denying Nathaniel access to my heart because I thought it was the right thing to do. But what if it’s not? What if this is the one chance I get at love? Gage went for it. Justice went for it. Why should it be any different for me?
Because it is different for me.
I am not like them. I’m not free to choose. Lucas Church’s words echo in my brain. It’s not okay to sacrifice the lives of many so the lives of few are spared. I can’t let Nathaniel breach in order to be with me. And I can’t let my mother do it either. It’s not right.
I slither away from Gage’s embrace and straighten my posture. “We should go. My mother will be worried about me.”
Gage’s gaze drop to the ground.
“What? What is it?”
Gage looks over his shoulder and all around, still not wanting to look directly at me.
“Tell me.”
“She’s gone.”
“What do you mean she’s gone?”
“C’mon. I’ll take you home.”
I follow Gage to the car. He opens the passenger door for me, and I can climb inside. Gage slips into the driver’s seat. He is still a terrible driver, but I can tell he’s taking great pains to be extra cautious on this particular trip.
In a few minutes, he stops the car in front of my house. It’s still a crime scene. There’s yellow protective tape and Do Not Enter signs everywhere. I absolutely refuse to acknowledge the bloodstains. I feel Gage’s fingers link with mine. He gives my hand a little squeeze before we duck under the police tape to get through the front door.
As soon as I step through the doorway, I know Gage was telling the truth. The furniture, the pictures on the wall, even the pile of dirty clothes I left on the bathroom floor—they’re all there. But my mother, she’s gone. She packed hastily. Drawers are open; there are hangers on the floor from where clothes were yanked out of the closet. My mother’s jewelry case is propped open on the dresser. She left her string of pearls—the ones my father always said would be mine someday. I don’t quite know what to make of that gesture.
Circling through the house one more time I let it all sink in before I go back to my room. I find my duffel bag stuffed at the back of my closet. I throw in every pair of jeans I can find, some T-shirts, a couple of hoodies, socks, underwear, and two pairs of Vans. Next I hit the bathroom for toiletries: toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, tampons, elastic bands for my hair, and a brush. Screw make-up. If I’m going to face the end, I can do it without mascara running down my face.
When I’m finished, I find Gage waiting for me in the living room. “I’m done.”
“Where are you going to go?”
“Lyla’s, I guess.”
“You can stay with me.”
“No,” I say quickly. I can’t go to their house ever again, not after what happened with Nathaniel, or rather, didn’t happen. “But thanks.”
“I’ll drop you off.”
We start for the front door when it opens and Justice walks in.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, forgetting any previous plan I had to be understanding about her new arrangement with Gage. She may have made things right with him, but she and I are nowhere near right.
“Isadora is gone too,” she says to Gage.
“You think they’re together?” Gage asks Justice.
“They’ve blown their cover. I don’t see why not.”
I drop to the nearest chair. “How could she do this?” I ask no one in particular.
“They think you’re going to side with Lucas Church,” Justice says matter-of-factly. “They couldn’t take that chance, so they ran.”
“Lucas Church had my father killed.” I say, hate seeping through every word. “I will never, ever be on his side.”
“Your mother is scared,” Justice says, trying to make excuses.
“Don’t defend her,” I snap. I don’t care what her reasons are. She left me, her own daughter, her own flesh and blood.
“There’s more,” Justice says.
“What is it?” Gage asks.
“Toby is awake.”
Toby! How could I have forgotten about Toby?
“We should go,” I say to Gage.
“Right,” Gage agrees.
“I’ll drive,” Justice offers.
We exit the house, and as I’m loading my bags into the trunk of the car, I take one last look. This is my home. This is where my handprints are stamped into the concrete in the backyard. Lyla and I washed my dad’s car in the driveway for any amount of money he would give us. We sat on the porch and dreamed of our futures together. This place used to be my source of comfort, my sense of familiarity, and it’s been transformed into a horrific crime scene smattered with my father’s blood. If I never see this house again, it’ll be too soon.
Gage’s hand is on my shoulder. He and I exchange a look. “I’m ready,” I tell him.
Justice drives us to the hospital. The radio buzzes faintly in the background, and I hear the news report about my father.
Mercifully, Gage reaches over and flips it off. I ease into the backseat, lean my head back, and close my eyes. In a few minutes I’m going to talk to Nathaniel. Anticipation makes my stomach flutter. I clench and unclench my hands.
“We’re here,” Justice says.
I make eye contact with her in the rearview mirror and nod. Climbing out, I try to steady my nerves. I’m jittery and nearly jumping out of my skin, which isn’t good because I literally can do that. So I breathe and hold myself steady.
“You should wait here,” Gage says to Justice just as we reach the entrance. “We can’t risk you and Mercy being seen together.”
“Okay,” Justice agrees.
We leave her and enter the building.
The elevator ride to the ICU is slow. We stop on nearly every floor to let other passengers on and off. I shift from one foot to the other, making my discomfort known to everyone around me. When the elevator doors finally open to the right floor, I charge out, but I don’t know which way to go. Gage puts his hand on the small of my back and ushers me to the left.
“Mercy!” Jay, standing near the nurse’s station, sees me and comes running at a full sprint.
We collide into one another, my nose bashing against his shoulder. It is so good to be near Jay, to feel his arms wrapped around me. I want to stay that way for a while, but he lets me go and steps back.
“We heard about
your dad,” he says solemnly. “I’m so sorry.”
I nod as my eyes fill with water and my throat tightens.
“What happened?”
I shake my head, unable to speak. Gage, standing next to me, squeezes my hand.
“Oh my God!” Lyla rushes toward me, a blur of dark hair, blue eyes, and red lips. She grips me so tightly I can barely breathe. “Oh my God,” she says again. “I’m so sorry about before. I was such a bitch. We’ve been so worried about you. I’ve been calling and calling, and I thought you weren’t answering because you were mad at me.”
I shake my head again, hiccup into her shoulder, and stop fighting back the tears.
“Come on.” Lyla tugs me away from everyone until we’re standing in a different part of the hallway. “What happened?”
“It was awful,” I say. “They came for me, and he got in the way.”
“Who came for you?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“I’m so sorry. What can I do? Anything you need and I’m there.”
A twinge of guilt pinches my insides when I remember that Nathaniel is lying in Toby’s body, that I wasn’t able to fix it as Lyla requested. I don’t deserve her love and support.
“How’s Toby?” I ask.
“He’s been in and out most of the day, but the doctors say his condition is stable.”
I exhale deeply. “I’m so glad he’s okay.”
“Me too. I don’t know what we would have done if … I’m sorry,” she says, resting her hand on my arm. “I’m such an ass.”
“We’re fine,” I say, trying to reassure her.
“How’s your mom?” she asks.
I lean against the wall, propping my right foot behind me. “Gone.”
“Gone?”
“Yeah. She took off.”
Lyla’s face crinkles with confusion. “I don’t understand.”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” I say, and I’m surprised to find it’s true. My mother’s betrayal can wait.
“Okay. We don’t have to.”
“What I really want to do is see Toby,” I say hesitantly. “If that’s okay?”
“Yeah,” she says. “Come on.”
Lyla leads me back to Jay and Gage, who are standing in uncomfortable silence together.
“I’m going to see Toby,” I say to Gage. “Do you want to come with me?”
“Of course,” Gage answers.
“I need coffee,” Lyla says to Jay.
“And who’s surprised by that?” I love Jay for his attempt at humor. “We’ll be right back,” Jay says to me.
Lyla and Jay take off.
“This way.” Gage nods in the direction of room 407.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Gage
Mercy trembles beside me as we pad lightly into Toby’s hospital room. His skinny body is lying still beneath several blankets. The machines behind the bed beep the steady rhythm of his heart. So many wires and tubes are stuck to him. The sight of it makes me queasy.
I stand at the foot of the bed while Mercy approaches the top. She looks more uncertain than I’ve ever seen her. Mixed with the uncertainty is a deep and profound sadness that registers in the hunch of her shoulders and the lilt of her head.
“Nathaniel,” she says cautiously.
Toby’s eyelids flutter and open. He rolls his head in Mercy’s direction and with that one look I am a third wheel.
“Hey,” Nathaniel breathes the word as if it takes great effort.
“Are you in pain?” Mercy asks, her voice shaking.
Toby’s body shifts slightly and stops suddenly. “Not much,” Nathaniel lies. He slowly turns his head so that he’s looking at me. “Fill me in.”
“We can do that later,” Mercy quickly says. “You need to rest.”
Though it clearly takes him great effort, Nathaniel looks back and forth between Mercy and me. “That bad, huh?”
Mercy takes a shuddering breath and turns away. I have to get her out of here before she loses it entirely.
“We’ll be right back,” I say to Nathaniel. Taking Mercy by the shoulders, I then usher her out into the all.
She curls away from me, arms wrapped tightly around her middle. “I can’t do this,” she says quietly.
“Do what?”
“Any of it.” She swipes her cheeks. “I’ve lost everything, and seeing him in there …”
“Things are bad,” I say acknowledging the truth. “But we’re not out of this race yet.”
“I have nothing left, Gage. My dad is dead. My mom is gone. Lucas Church is hunting us. This isn’t just bad. This is zombie apocalypse bad, and I’m wearing a shirt that reads Tasty Brains!”
I shake my head at her bad joke. “Okay.” I clap my hands together suddenly, and Mercy flinches. “Let’s be practical about this. One problem at a time. First, we have to get Nathaniel out of Toby’s body.”
Mercy rolls her eyes at me. “I didn’t get the water from the river, Gage. I failed. Remember?”
“True. We were counting on that. But we’ll just have to come up with Plan B.”
“Oh, okay.” Mercy mocks me. “Plan B.” She taps her chin with her finger. “Hmm, let’s see. Plan B.” Mercy shoots her finger into the air. “Got it! You distract everyone while I go in there and kill Toby. Smothering him with a pillow should do it, right? Quick. Easy. Let’s go!”
Mercy steps away from me, and I grab her arm. Disgusted, she yanks it back.
“We’re not going to kill Toby,” I whisper. And then a terrible idea occurs to me. “Oh my God! I’m such an idiot! Why didn’t I think of this before?”
“Think of what?”
“Of course! Shit. This has been in front of us the whole time and we just didn’t see it.”
“See what?”
I’m nearly giddy from my stupid idea.
“Gage!”
“Sorry,” I say, returning to the moment. “Do you remember your dream?”
Her face scrunches. “What dream?”
“The one where you told me you could make me a Breacher?”
“Yeah. But Gage, that was just …” Her eyes are as wide as saucers, and her mouth drops open.
I nod along as she registers what I’m suggesting.
“You think it’ll work?” she asks.
Mercy is more powerful than any of us; that’s what Ariana and Isadora were trying to tell me. It’s time to put that theory to the test. “It’s worth a try, right?” I’m so excited by this idea, I can hardly contain myself.
“Okay, but Gage, in the dream, I was talking like a crazy person. I mean, it’s not like I can just reach in and … Pull. Him. Out.”
“But what if you can?”
Mercy paces back and forth, gnawing a hangnail on her thumb while she thinks.
“Look. I don’t understand the connection you have with Nathaniel. I don’t think any of us can explain it, but we also can’t deny that it’s there. He was able to find you when no one else could. And he was the one who pulled you from the dead body that one time, right?” Mercy nods. “So how different can this be? You reach in, he finds a way to take hold, and there you have it. It’ll be like swiping a tablecloth and leaving all the dishes standing perfectly still.”
“Okay, but we still have a couple of problems. One, I can’t do anything in my body. We both know I only have those unique powers in my other form. And two, there’s no way I’m going to be able to jump on my own, not while I still have binding agent in my system.”
“I didn’t know you were still taking it.”
“It’s been a few days, but there’s probably still enough to make jumping impossible.”
“We need extraction serum.”
“There’s only one person I know of who has that.”
Isadora.
I dip my hand into my pocket and take out my phone.
“Who are you texting?” Mercy asks, but I think she already knows the answer.
“If Isadora has w
hat we need, Justice will be able to find it.”
“And you think she’s going to help us?”
“I do,” I say without hesitation. I believe she will, even if Mercy doesn’t.
While we wait, Jay and Lyla return and so does Jay’s mom. They check on Toby, and Lyla reports back that his condition has stabilized enough to move him out of the ICU. That’s a relief.
After thirty minutes or so my phone buzzes. “She’s here,” I tell Mercy. “She has what we need.”
We say our good-byes to everyone, promising to return soon. I don’t know how the real Toby is going to react if this works, but that’s not my main concern. Like I told Mercy before, we’re going to attack this disaster one step at a time. Right now, we need to get Mercy out of her body so she can rescue Nathaniel.
As soon as we step off the elevator on the main floor, I see Justice.
“Where do you want to do this?” she asks.
“The car, I guess,” Mercy answers.
“As soon as you’re out,” I say to Mercy, “Justice and I will take your body straight to the emergency room.”
Mercy nods, hesitation and fear emanating from her. She might be nervous, but I know she’s completely capable of doing this.
Justice, as if planning on discretion, parked far from the entrance. There are hardly any cars around, and no witnesses. It’s perfect.
Justice sits in the driver’s seat while Mercy and I climb into the back. Justice hands me a scary-looking syringe.
“I am so fucking sick of needles,” Mercy groans.
“Sorry.” Uncapping the syringe, I tap the plunger just slightly and let some of the liquid spill from the tip. “Okay. Ready?”
Mercy nods, stone-faced, as if she’s steeling herself for the next part.
“Concentrate on Nathaniel. Throw your energy in his direction, and you should end up near him. If something goes wrong—”
“Gage,” Justice interrupts me. “Nothing is going to go wrong. She’s got this.”
Mercy reaches out with her left hand. Justice takes it. “Thank you,” Mercy says.
I don’t know what brought on this sisterly show of affection, but it makes my chest swell with hope for both of them.
“Do it,” Mercy tells me.
I tip the needle into her arm and hit the plunger, releasing the extraction serum into her veins. Mercy hisses through her teeth. When the liquid is gone, I remove the needle.
Into the Light Page 18