“How long should it …” Mercy can’t get the whole sentence out before her head falls back against the seat.
Justice shifts and holds Mercy’s hand tighter as Mercy cringes and squeezes her eyes shut. She’s clearly hurting, but there’s nothing I can do to lessen her discomfort. All I can do is hope it’ll be over quickly.
Mercy’s breathing evens out, slows, and stops.
“Why isn’t she breathing?” Justice asks.
“I don’t know! Something’s wrong.”
“Gage, if she dies …”
I know what she’s thinking. If Mercy dies, they all die.
“Go! Go! Go!” I yell to Justice. I yank Mercy’s legs until they’re beneath me. Straddling her, I perform CPR, pumping her chest and blowing breath into her lungs.
The tires squeal as Justice drives the short distance from our parking spot to the ambulance bay. I don’t let the car come to a complete stop before I’m throwing open the door and hauling Mercy’s body inside. “Help!” I yell into the ER waiting room. “I need help here!”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Mercy
So much pain. I’m on fire and writhing as I peel away from my body. I can feel Justice squeezing my hand until the very end. I push Nathaniel to the forefront of my mind. And then, suddenly, I feel nothing.
I drop, my stomach sliding into my feet, and I think it’s never going to end, but then it does. I’m wobbling, and I’m pretty sure I could throw up, but I choke it down and try to steady myself. Holding my hand in front of me, I see that I’m nearly translucent, but I’m still me. I didn’t accidentally slip into someone else, thankfully. And I’m in the hospital, which is also very good. Finally, something is going right.
Slipping around unnoticed has its perks. There’s no one to stop me and ask me if I belong here, no one to usher me out because I certainly look suspicious.
I luck out that Toby is still in ICU, so I don’t have to go traipsing all over the hospital looking for him. My next worry is that Toby’s room will be full of people, but mercifully, it’s not.
“Nathaniel,” I say out loud. “I really hope you can hear me. Because I need you to hear me right now.” I push my thoughts into Toby’s head.
“I hear you,” Nathaniel says. “I can’t see you yet, but I hear you, Mercy.”
The sound of my name on Nathaniel’s lips almost does me in, but I keep going. “I’m here,” I say, sliding my hand under his. He curls his fingers around mine and I brighten. “I’m going to try something, okay?”
“Don’t kill Toby. I’ll be all right.”
“I’m not. I mean, I won’t. Do you trust me?”
“Of course,” Nathaniel says with such conviction that my heart seizes in my chest.
“Do you remember when you pulled me out of that dead girl’s body?”
He sighs. “One of my favorite memories.”
I laugh lightly. “Really? Why?”
“I have my reasons.”
I want to ask him explain, but I don’t know how much time we have. “Well, this will be just like that, okay?”
“If you pull this off, you’re going to be my favorite person ever,” he says sincerely.
“Okay, here goes.”
Slowly, I let my hand sink beneath Toby’s skin. The urge to breach him entirely is strong, like an undertow. I hold onto the bed rail with my free hand, just in case. Of course I can barely feel it, but it gives me a sliver of comfort.
Warmth spreads beneath my touch, and I worry for the first time that I’m going to pull Toby out of his body instead of Nathaniel.
“Nathaniel, I need you to take my hand,” I say, panicking. “Take my hand.”
I don’t know how much longer I can hold on. My hand is sinking deeper, and I’m being pulled, like a gravitational force, toward Toby’s body. “Nathaniel, please,” I beg.
Something hits my chest and knocks me back into the wall. I would’ve fallen over entirely, but there’s someone there to steady me. Nathaniel.
It worked. He’s standing in front of me. The real Nathaniel. Not just some figment of my twisted imagination, not some crazy dream version of Nathaniel—it’s really him. In his arms, I fill in completely, no longer a hologram. I’m as real as he is.
A tingling sensation starts in the pit of my stomach, and it quickly runs rampant through my arms and chest and all the way down to my toes. Nathaniel’s body is pressed to mine, and the weight of him is intoxicating. My hands are flattened on the wall behind me, and I force myself to keep them there because if I touch him now I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop.
Nathaniel cups my face. My heart stops beating as his mouth hovers above mine. His chest is heaving as hard as mine.
He exhales sharply, and then he says, “We should go.”
I nod slightly, but I don’t speak. Words are lost to me. I don’t protest when he pulls me from the room. We escape into the elevator without being noticed, which is practically a miracle.
My thoughts momentarily drift to Toby. I know it’ll be disorienting when he wakes. The amnesia he’ll experience won’t be easy, but at least he’s alive. He’s alive! We actually did it.
I did it.
I saved Nathaniel.
We leave the hospital and hurry down the sidewalk. Nathaniel moves with purpose. He whistles for a taxi and eventually, one stops for us. “Sheraton Grand,” Nathaniel tells the driver.
“Nathaniel.” I start to say more, but his lips swallow my words.
Nathaniel’s mouth is hot and eager, and every second of his tongue against mine is a surge of pleasure straight to my brain.
The kiss doesn’t last long, but it’s enough. I’m spinning.
The taxi drops us off at the Sheraton Grand, and we hurry inside. Nathaniel’s entire body is like an exposed wire, humming with electricity. I don’t know what’s gotten into him exactly, but I’m not about to ask and ruin it.
“Darling,” he says to me. “Would you book us a room?”
“Nathaniel, I don’t have money or …” He smiles wickedly. “Oh. Right.”
I inch toward the reservation desk and throw my thoughts to the very pretty girl working the counter. Just for fun, I tell her it’s our honeymoon, and graciously, she upgrades us to a suite. We give fake names, of course. She smiles pleasantly when she hands us our room key.
In the elevator, Nathaniel stands in the corner, and I stand opposite. His intense stare is both freaking me out and sending waves of nervous energy through me. “What are we doing here?” I ask.
Gage is probably frantic by now. I was supposed to go straight to him after I released Nathaniel. We should be dealing with the fact that I am not in my body, and that Lucas Church is still very much after us. I haven’t told Nathaniel about my dad or my mom taking off. Hell, he doesn’t even know that Isadora and my mom are working together. We don’t have time for any side trips, and yet, here I am following along after him like a lovesick puppy. Because that’s exactly what I am.
The elevator doors part. We head left down the long hall until we come to the suite. He fumbles with the plastic key card, striking out once, twice.
“Here.” I cover his hand with mine. “Let me.”
The light trips green, and I open the door. It’s not even closed before Nathaniel pounces. I’m backed into the door, and he’s against me; his hands and lips are everywhere, and I can’t breathe. He isn’t the only one who’s eager. I can’t get enough of him.
We stumble away from the door, pausing against each surface until we crash together on the bed. He hovers above me, his right knee between my legs, and I ache for him in a way that I didn’t know was possible.
“Mercy.” He kisses my throat and then looks directly at me. “I’m sorry it wasn’t real the first time.”
My breath hitches, and I’m about to speak when he places one finger over my lips.
“Best dream I’ve ever had,” he tells me with such affection that I immediately blush. “And if you let me, I’ll make
that dream a reality today and every day.”
Time slows to a crawl. I swallow hard. “What if we don’t have every day? What if we just get today?”
He kisses me slowly, lovingly. Pulling back slightly, he says, “Then today will just have to be the best day of both our lives.”
I cup the back of his neck and pull him to me. Today. If it’s all I get, then I really do want everything. I want to be the me reflected in his eyes. Transferring my weight to my side, I roll on top of him, my knees on either side of his stomach. Nathaniel’s dark eyes crinkle at the corner as his mouth turns up in a playful grin.
Today, I think again as I slide my shirt over my head. Nathaniel surprises me by sitting up quickly. He catches me before I fall over backward and plants a kiss between my breasts. I inhale and exhale slowly, arching my back.
“You are killing me,” he says hoarsely.
Laughter bubbles to the surface. I hold his face in my hands and kiss him again. I kiss him until my lips are swollen and raw, but I still want more. I pull Nathaniel’s shirt off, and his bare skin against mine is even better than it was in the dream because this is real.
There is still hunger between us, but we slow down once Nathaniel rolls me onto my back.
“I can’t believe you’re actually here with me,” I say to him.
“It nearly killed me to be away from you.”
“A lot has happened.”
A single tear dips out of the corner of my eye. Nathaniel wipes it away with his thumb. “Tell me.”
I shake my head. “Later. Right now, all I want is you.”
“Then yours I shall be.”
Nathaniel’s skin is sticky against mine. My cheek against his chest, my leg draped over him, Nathaniel strokes my hair, and we breathe together. I don’t want this moment to end or to shift from this spot, but there’s so much waiting for us out there.
He kisses the top of my head. “This won’t be our only day, Mercy. I won’t let it.”
“You heard me?”
“Only because you wanted me to.”
I did. Communicating through thought, controlling which ones I want heard, and which ones I don’t, is easy with Nathaniel. And it no longer makes me feel violated. Somehow, it makes what I have with him even more intimate.
“Five more minutes,” he says.
“Wait,” I say, pushing against his chest as a frightening thought pops into my head and disrupts my moment of bliss entirely. “We didn’t use anything.”
“I used just about everything I have,” he says, completely pleased with himself.
My cheeks turn crimson. “No. I mean, what about protection?”
“Neither one of us is human right now. Can’t get more secure than that.”
“But my mother, she had me.” So not sexy to be bringing up my mother, but I can’t help myself.
“No, Molly Sherman had you. Human body.”
Now I’m even more confused.
“I was confused about that at first too. But your mother explained. She used Molly Sherman-Clare’s body to get pregnant, and then she ditched her.”
Oh.
The mood slightly killed, I figure there’s no reason not to let Nathaniel in on the rest of it. “There’s so much I have to tell you.”
“Should we get dressed first?”
“Probably.”
He hands me my shirt and jeans and all my under things. Even after everything we’ve done, seeing my bra dangling from Nathaniel’s fingertips makes me blush like the virgin I no longer am.
I don’t watch him get dressed, and he gives me privacy as well. Once we’re put back together, Nathaniel sits in the chair across from the bed and says, “Fill me in.”
All the bliss I felt only moments before is gone as I recap everything that’s happened. His jaw tightens. His hands clench into fists. Anger radiates from him. But when I tell him about my dad, his anger fades. He swoops off the chair and holds me in his arms. I finish my story by telling him how my mother left me without so much as a good-bye and good luck.
“I will never leave you, Mercy. No matter what happens. No matter how this plays out, it’s you and me ‘till the very end.”
I nod, desperately wanting to believe him. I know that I’m stronger than I give myself credit for, but it’s a relief to know I’m not alone.
“Okay,” Nathaniel says. “The first thing we have to do is get you back in your body.” He reminds me so much of Gage in this moment—so determined, so eager to make a plan and see it through.
We leave the hotel and return to the hospital. We learn that my body is in the ICU, not far from where Toby was. Nathaniel and I have traded places. First he was trapped here, now it’s me. I am so sick of this place.
Nathaniel holds my hand tight. I appreciate the assurance in his grip. Being out of my body makes me feel incredibly unstable, but at least with Nathaniel, I feel somewhat secure.
“This way.” Nathaniel guides me along the hall.
We enter the room and immediately see an unknown figure. He stands about six feet tall, and he wears a sharp black suit. His hair is light and slicked to the side. I brace myself for the attack.
Nathaniel drops my hand. “Ellis?”
“Nathaniel.” They embrace heartily, clapping each other on the back. “It’s been too long.”
Nathaniel steps back. “I never thought I’d see you again.”
“That makes two of us. And yet, here we are.”
“It’s good to see you.” Nathaniel turns to me. “Mercy, this is my best friend, Ellis.”
“It’s nice to meet you,” I say. Is it really? I have no idea. Nathaniel seems completely at ease, but all of my senses are on high alert.
“The pleasure is all mine,” Ellis says formally.
“What are you doing here?” Nathaniel asks Ellis.
Ellis’s glance lands on me. “I came for Mercy.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Gage
It’s been almost twenty-four hours, and still no sign of Mercy or Nathaniel. Anything could’ve happened to them by now. Each scenario I imagine is worse than the next. After I check on Mercy’s body for the hundredth time, I stalk out to the parking lot to meet Justice, who’s waiting for me in the car.
I open the door and flop down into the seat. “She’s still out,” I say as I pull the door closed.
“And Toby?” Justice asks, her body angled toward me.
“He’s awake. Jay says the doctors think he has memory loss.”
“That’s good.”
“Yeah,” I say half-heartedly. “I guess.”
“He’s alive. That’s what’s important.”
Yes. It’s amazing that Toby is alive. But I won’t feel better until Mercy is back in her body. “What if we didn’t get her help in time?”
“We did,” Justice says surely.
“She shouldn’t have stopped breathing like that.”
“We shocked her body with the extraction serum. There’s a reason most host bodies die. Mercy may be different, but there’s only so much that she can take.”
“You’re right.” I nod. “I know you’re right. I’m just worried. Where the hell are they?” My voice is raised, agitated.
“I’m sure they’re fine.”
“They should’ve been back by now.”
Justice tilts her head to the left. “I’m sure they just wanted some alone time.”
“For what? We have work to do.”
Justice gives me a knowing look. She leans toward me. “I need you to understand what I’m trying to say. They probably needed time alone. Together. Alone.”
“Oh.” I sit back against the seat and try to erase the mental picture that popped into my mind. Waving my hands in the air, I say, “Okay, but is this really the best time for,” I pause, “that?”
Justice exhales slowly. How she can she be so calm? Mercy and Nathaniel are out there, and we need to find them. We need to get Mercy back into her body before something terrible happens. A
nd then we need to put our heads together and figure out how we’re going to defeat Lucas Church.
My left leg won’t stay steady. I’m practically rattling the entire car. “I can’t sit here anymore.” I push the door open. “I’m going back inside.”
“Okay.” Justice exits the car. “Let’s go.”
My entire body is vibrating with nerves. It probably would’ve been a better idea to run up the stairs than take the elevator, but it’s too late now. Every time the door opens on a floor other than the ICU, I sigh, and Justice flashes me a look.
The elevator dings signaling the floor we need. “Finally,” I say charging through the narrow space between the doors, not waiting for them to open fully.
Justice is right on my heels as we enter Mercy’s room. I wasn’t expecting a crowd, but there they are: Mercy, Nathaniel, and someone else.
“What’s going on?” I ask, directing my question to no one in particular.
“We were just figuring that out,” Mercy answers.
Mercy and I lock eyes and I relax some. We hug quickly, and I say, “I’m glad you made it.”
“And me?” Nathaniel eyes me. “I don’t get a proper hello.”
“Hello,” I say curtly. Looking back at the stranger, I ask again, “So, what’s going on exactly?”
“Gage, this is Ellis. You might remember him from …”
“Ellis, right. You’re a Guide.” Bells and whistles sound in my head like an alarm on full blast. “So that means you’re here for …” I can’t make myself finish my sentence.
Mercy flashes me a nervous look. “Me,” she says. “He came for me.”
“She’s not dead.”
“Not yet,” Ellis concedes.
Justice steps between Ellis and Mercy. “She’s not going anywhere with you.”
I’m surprised that this statement comes from Justice. And I can tell by her wide eyes and slightly open mouth that Mercy is just as stunned.
“I’m afraid she doesn’t have much of a choice,” Ellis says. There’s no malice to his tone. He speaks matter-of-factly.
“Stop!” Mercy puts her hands up. “I hate it when you all talk about me like I’m not in the room.” She throws a look at all of us, which is her way of telling us to shut up and stay that way. “Let’s just hear what Ellis has to say first.”
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