The Honeywood Files

by H. B. Creswell

  How fast the leaves are falling!

  Yours v. sincerely,

  SPINLOVE TO LADY BRASH

  Dear Lady Brash,20.11.25.

  I do not know what the particular smell is that you do not like. I have asked Mr. Grigblay to try and find out. Of course many of the materials used by the workmen have strange smells, but that is unavoidable and they will all disappear, I can assure you, before the work is finished. If you find the atmosphere of the house so unpleasant it would perhaps be wiser not to go into it just at present, or why not ask Mr. Bloggs to open the windows; have you thought of that I wonder?

  Yes, I noticed the leaves were beginning to fall.

  Yours sincerely,

  Spinlove’s solicitude leads him to ascribe to the lady a degree of imbecility which is scarcely flattering.

  GRIGBLAY TO SPINLOVE

  Dear Sir,20.11.25.

  We have noted the various instructions you gave our foreman, which are receiving attention. He has searched for the smell complained of but has not succeeded in discovering it. His report is as follows:

  “About her Ladyship’s smell there is not anything to complain about as I can see. The paint is nothing at all scarcely. There was a bit of a hum in the kitchen but that was just a coat the gasfitter’s mate had there. He said it was fish and I reckon like enough it was. I told him take it outside. The plumber’s shop is swept out.”

  We do not know what more we can do in the matter.

  Yours faithfully,

  SPINLOVE TO BRASH

  Dear Sir Leslie Brash,21.11.25.

  I have twice written to Grigblay about the unpleasant smell, and I have to-day heard from him that they cannot detect anything which is not as it should be. In writing to Lady Brash yesterday I suggested that she might perhaps see that the windows are opened.

  In answer to your question, french windows are impossible. They could not be fitted to the existing openings, could not be made to match the other windows and would be disastrous architecturally, as you would at once realize if I made you a sketch of the altered elevation. If you had said originally that you wanted french windows I could have designed them suitably, but the style of the house would have been entirely different.

  It would be possible to lower the windows, but if you did so the transom—that is the intermediate horizontal member of the frame—would come right across the line of vision of anyone standing. The top of cills is 2’ 9½ ” from the floor and this is as low as can be managed. I may point out to you that the reason you cannot see the ground outside when seated away from the window is that the ground slopes away. In any case the top of the terrace wall will appear above the line of the window cill to anyone seated in the room, so that even if you lowered the windows you would have no better view of the garden.

  I had intended to suggest to you, when the subject was allowed to drop, that instead of painting the doors pink, yellow, blue—for I am sure you would dislike the array of differently coloured doors—the name “Pink Room,” “Yellow Room,” etc. might be lettered on each door. I could design a scutcheon upon which the words might appear, and this might be of the appropriate colour if you wish, or the coloured scutcheon without the words might serve. Personally I would recommend the words without the scutcheon.

  I hope you will not think me unduly persistent, but I am sure you would regret a parti-coloured corridor.

  With kind regards,

  Yours sincerely,

  Apparently the conversations grew heated when the rainbowed bedroom proposals were discussed, and Spinlove had to change the subject. It is a torturing effort for the designer to get the heads —or transoms—of casement windows above the eye, and the cills duly low, while at the same time keeping the proportions of windows satisfactory.

  BRASH TO SPINLOVE

  Dear Mr. Spinlove,22.11.25.

  I have considered your remarks anent the windows and suggest you will raise the floor of the room which will, I apprehend, give the same equivalent effect as the lowering of the windows to which you demur, and prevent the terrace wall obstructing the view. There will be no objection to going up two steps into the drawing-room—in fact most pleasing effects may be obtained in this manner, and we can postpone using the apartment until the operations are completed. What will the cost of this work be? I recall that £300 is included in the contract amount to meet contingencies of this kind.

  I am not at all averse to your proposal for identification of bedroom doors. If you will have a door painted and appropriately lettered as you propose, I will give you an ultimate final decision.

  We are contemplating moving into the house for Xmas day. Do you think that a feasible proposition?

  I have seized the opportune occasion to purchase certain cottages and shall in consequence not now find the necessity to erect those conveniences. Will you please advise Messrs. Nibnose & Rasper with the appropriate intimation.

  Yours sincerely,

  PHYLLIS BRASH TO SPINLOVE

  Dear Jazz,24.11.25.

  You ought to hop down as soon as poss. Mum is worrying dreadfully over the smell in the house. She spent most of this morning and part of the afternoon listening for it; it did not squeak to-day but was apparently known to be in hiding. I have not been in the house myself on a good hunting morning when the scent was lying well, but two people besides M. found on Sunday, so something must be wrong.

  Dad started an innocent little frolic with a dentist ten days ago; it became a serious game and poor Dad is now seventeen down with nine to play. He is staying up in town till after the final round, which is why I write. Will you phone to-morrow, please?

  pud.

  SPINLOVE TO GRIGBLAY

  Dear Sir,25.11.25.

  I am directed by Sir Leslie Brash to say that he does not now intend to build any cottages.

  Will you please tell your foreman to see that all windows are securely shut before the men leave on Saturday, so that I may satisfy myself about this reported smell.

  Yours faithfully,

  SPINLOVE USES TACT

  SPINLOVE TO BRASH

  Dear Sir Leslie Brash,28.11.25.

  I am sorry to know you are having such a bad time of it.

  As you will no doubt have heard, the smell Lady Brash complained of is that of the new oak. It is a penetrating smell certainly, but most people like it. It will entirely disappear in a short time, in fact I do not think it will be noticed after the oak has been waxed.

  I am afraid it will not be possible for you to get into the house for Xmas. There is much more to be done than appears. In six weeks’ time it might be possible, but it would be better for you to wait. The house is drying out well, and I do not think there would then be any actual objection to its being lived in, but if you waited, say, till March you could be certain of no ill consequences.

  As regards raising the floor of the drawing-room, there are grave difficulties and objections which I think you have not realized. Ten or twelve inches off the height of the room would make it appear very low. This is a big room and the height to ceiling is no more than is necessary, for it fixes the height of the first floor throughout. To raise the floor would mean raising the panelling to about 10 in. from the ceiling which would look very ugly, and also rebuilding the brick chimney, for the opening of the fireplace would be much too low. The transom of the window would also come very awkwardly; people looking out would have to stoop or stand on tip toe. It would be dangerous to have the steps close up to the door; a landing outside would be necessary which would stand out, with the steps, four or five feet into the hall, and, of course, the new floor would have to be carried on joists. The concrete floor is prepared for nailing the floorboards to it, and the only reason this has not been done is that I told Grigblay to hold off so that the concrete should be thoroughly dry. The cost of the alteration would, as you may judge, be a considerable sum—£200 very likely.

  The £300 contingencies you mention, is not available for extra work of this kind. It is to c
over the contract work—that is to say to pay for work which may be found necessary but which is not described in the contract because it may not be. Part, at least, of this sum has been spent. If there is any left unexpended, it will, of course, be credited in the final statement of account.

  I have written a tactful letter to Nibnose & Rasper letting them know you do not now intend to go on with the cottages. As you remember, they agreed to cancel their previous contract on the understanding they should tender, against Grigblay only, to the new design I was preparing; but I hope they will not make any trouble.

  With kind regards,

  Yours sincerely,

  SPINLOVE TO NIBNOSE & RASPER

  Dear Sirs,28.11.25.

  My client desires me to present you with his best compliments and inform you with his profound regrets that he has now decided not to build the cottages for which you were so obliging as to consent to submit a tender. Sir Leslie Brash asks me to tell you that he looks forward on some future occasion to the pleasure of availing himself of your services.

  Yours faithfully,

  If this suave and buttery letter is Spinlove’s idea of a tactful one, he has much to learn. It not only reeks of insincerity, but is intolerably condescending in tone and would be likely to give offence to anyone and under any circumstances. “Nibrasp” will perfectly understand that the purpose of it is to disarm their claim to compensation, and as the firm has already, in its own opinion, been unfairly deprived of the contract for the house, anything more provocative and inflaming could scarcely be devised. Spinlove ought to have written somewhat as follows: “An unfortunate thing has happened. My client has an opportunity of buying cottages close at hand so that there is now no reason for him to build. I am afraid you have been put to a good deal of trouble and Sir Leslie Brash is sorry for this and will bear it in mind, and hopes to be able to make use of your services on a future occasion.”

  BRASH TO SPINLOVE

  Dear Mr. Spinlove,29.11.25.

  I am glad to be in a condition to intimate that I am now emancipated to freedom from the dental surgeon’s sanctum—though still unable to make spectacular public appearances.

  I am naturally disappointed to be apprised that our occupation of the house at Christmas is not practicably feasible. Christmas Day eventuates precisely fourteen days subsequently to the contract date of completion. I advisedly apprehended that certain extra days would be allowed to Mr. Grigblay to perform his undertaking, but six weeks is surely a very excessive apportionment of latitude? It is, of course, in your hands to see that Mr. Grigblay is kept informed of his obligations, but I desire that you will intimate to him that I consider his procrastination beyond what is reasonably to be anticipated, and that I shall certainly not feel inclined to remit any proportion of the sums which may become due to me as penalties for delay.

  I note your remarks anent the lifting of the drawing-room floor. I do not precisely apprehend the full interpretation of your remarks as I am not in a condition to immediately make the public appearance involved by the journey to the site, but I am prepared to accept your views, although they do not favour my ideas, as the amount of the anticipated estimate is altogether more than I can contemplate.

  As regards the “contingencies,” I apprehend that the money is mine and that I am, therefore, at liberty to spend it as I choose—however it is not necessary to deviate upon that eventuality. The mansion certainly more than satisfies our anticipations. I look forward shortly to viewing the experimental lettering on doors.

  With kind regards,

  Yours sincerely,

  “NIBRASP” ASKS COMPENSATION

  NIBNOSE & RASPER TO SPINLOVE

  Dear Sir,29.11.25.

  We were just a little surprised at your letter—but nothing to worry about—as this is the second time we have been passed over by you and we are getting used to same.

  We shall be glad if you will present our respects to Sir Leslie Brash and inform that gentleman that we shall be glad to serve him at any time that he may honour us with his orders and abide by them, but we do not much care for the way he has served us so far, for what we expected is not compliments but compensation.

  We may remind you that when Mr. Nibnose saw you at your office on this matter it was clearly understood that we would agree to cancel our contract if we were given a fair chance to tender to a new design against Mr. John Grigblay only. As Sir Leslie has chosen to disregard his side of the bargain and break your word to us, we must respectfully ask a sum representing our reasonable profits in compensation, viz: 7½ % on the amount of our tender.

  Yours faithfully,

  “Nibrasp” are entitled to compensation for the cancellation of their contract, since the acceptance of a tender constitutes a contract binding on both parties, each of whom is entitled to compensation for breach by the other. The sum that would be allowed by the Courts in compensation would depend on the circumstances. It might happen that a contractor or a building owner would, by a breach by the other, be involved in losses far in excess of the direct loss of profits or loss of the bargain.

  SPINLOVE TO TINGE, QUANTITY SURVEYOR

  Dear Mr. Tinge,1.12.25.

  While I was away on a holiday my client obtained tender for £1,350 for a block of cottages from a new builder, Nibnose & Rasper, which he accepted. He has now decided not to build and the contractors ask 7½ % on the tendered price as compensation for breach. Is this a fair claim? The firm states that 7½ % represents their expected profits. Is this right?

  Yours truly,

  TINGE TO SPINLOVE

  Dear Sir,2.12.25.

  7½ % is about right for profits.

  Yours faithfully,

  Tinge, as usual, keeps strictly to facts. It is for Spinlove, and not Tinge, to decide whether the claim is a fair one. All Tinge will say is that 7½ % is a reasonable estimate of profits.

  SPINLOVE TO BRASH

  Dear Sir Leslie Brash,3.12.25.

  I enclose copies of my letters to Nibnose & Rasper and of their replies. The amount they claim is about right. I will make an appointment with Mr. Nibnose and agree the best terms I can get.

  Yours sincerely,

  We must suppose that Spinlove explained to Brash, when he decided not to build the cottages, that “Nibrasp” could claim compensation; but he does not appear to have any authority to agree the amount, and although 7½ % may represent expected profits it does not follow that “Nibrasp” could make good a claim for that amount.

  SPINLOVE TO NIBNOSE & RASPER

  Dear Sir,3.12.25.

  Sir Leslie Brash could not foresee the circumstances which now make it impossible for him to build, and he is aware that he is liable to you for compensation; but there are special circumstances which have to be considered in settling the sum to be paid and I think it would be satisfactory if Mr. Nibnose could call at my office to agree the figure. If you will ring up I shall be glad to make an early appointment.

  Yours faithfully,

  Spinlove, as agent, here pledges Brash to pay compensation. Even if Brash had agreed to pay—and it does not appear he has ever done so—it was a serious error in diplomacy on Spinlove’s part to tell “Nibrasp” this. He should have opened negotiations by saying that his client resented paying compensation and that unless “Nibrasp” substantially reduced the amount of the claim they would get nothing.

  SPINLOVE TO BRASH

  Dear Sir Leslie Brash,4.12.25.

  On my return to the office this evening I found your telephone message telling me to come to no understanding with Nibnose & Rasper until I had seen you. I am sorry to say that I wrote to them last night in the sense of my letter to you. I enclose copy of the letter. You will see that the amount of compensation is left open, so that this may be merely a nominal figure.

  Yours sincerely,

  We have here another example of the ineptitude which overtakes Spinlove when he gets away from the actual business of building. How can “Nibrasp” be put off with nominal comp
ensation—nominal standing for “in name only”—when the payment of actual compensation has been promised?

  BRASH TO SPINLOVE

  Dear Mr. Spinlove,5.12.25.

  I was astounded to peruse your communication to Messrs. Nibnose & Rasper, in which you take it upon yourself to engage me to disburse compensation without any kind of authority from me to do so, and in face of my emphatic objection, expressed to you in verbal conversation some weeks ago, to do anything of the kind. If anyone is to pay compensation I apprehend it is Mr. Snitch for selling me sham bogus plans and preparing documents which you tell me are incomplete and which Messrs. Nibnose & Rasper knew to be incomplete.

  It is obvious that I am being robbed and swindled by a pack of extortionate rogues and that so far from doing anything to protect me you are—if you will permit me to say so—actually playing into their hands. However, one thing is definitely certain; I will not pay Nibnose & Rasper, or Snitch, or any jack one of these scoundrels a halfpenny, and you can tell them so with my compliments. Mr. Snitch has now very obligingly offered to charge only ten guineas “to cover expenses” for cheating me, and if Nibnose talks any more about compensation I request you to refer him to Russ & Co., for I will fight these thieving rogues if I have to sell everything I possess to do it, before I will pay them a farthing.

  Yours sincerely,

  Ease off on the kidney omelettes, my good sir, and walk to the station of a morning! It is true that Spinlove was at fault in pledging his client without written authority, or without a written note of oral instructions the wording of which his client has approved and which he has confirmed to his client; but he seems to have no doubt that he was correctly representing his client’s views, and in any case Brash’s claim against Snitch for fees paid and “Nibrasp’s” against Brash for compensation are entirely due to Brash’s acting without his architect’s advice or knowledge. Spinlove has, indeed, rescued his client from a much worse disaster.