I shook his hand, trying to gauge how old this guy was. He looked easily ten years younger than me. “No problem. I was just telling Savannah I like kids.” I held my hands out. “How does he feel about strangers?”
The baby reached right out for me in total trust.
“He’s obviously pretty good about meeting new people,” Maddox said with a smile, running his hand over the baby’s hair. “He has a couple of babysitters and all of Savannah’s friends. He’s chill.”
I could hear the pride and love in Maddox’s voice.
My brother was going to be experiencing this in just a few months. It was crazy, in the best way possible. Months ago I had been talking to Michael about having kids and I had joked that eventually I was going to need to use a surrogate if I wanted a family. I had always wanted and assumed I would have children, but it felt so far in the future.
Seeing Maddox with Sully, seeing my brother on the flipside of that, in his forties starting a family, made me think a little harder about what I wanted and when. I didn’t want to blink and be having a baby for the first time at sixty-years-old.
I held Sully in my arms and made faces at him. He didn’t grin or cry. He just stared at me, solemnly, like a baby owl. His fingers wrapped around the fabric of my jacket and squeezed reflexively, close and open. “You’re definitely a chill dude,” I told him.
“He gets that from me,” Savannah said.
Both Isla and Maddox laughed.
Savannah said, “Hey!” but also looked sheepish, like she knew they had the right of it.
The apartment had toys strewn all over the floor and a clear family vibe.
“I can take him if you want,” Isla said.
“No, I’m fine.” I found a spot on the floor and set him down, then flopped onto the floor next to him. I hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep over the weekend, for the best reason possible, and it felt good to stretch out and let the kid crawl all over me.
I realized Isla was staring at me. “What?” I asked her.
She shook her head. “Nothing.”
Sean in my bed was dangerous. Sean playing with a baby was deadly.
My ovaries, that I hadn’t even been sure I was in possession of previously, now exploded. There was nothing cuter on the planet than a strong, muscular, arrogant man being reduced to mush by a baby.
With zero hesitation, Sean had taken Sully from Maddox and dropped to the floor with him. Now he was laying on his back with Sully on his lap so they were facing each other. Sean was doing some kind of horsey ride thing, bouncing his legs up and down and making neighing sounds.
Yep. Ovaries fluttering. Vagina on high alert.
It wasn’t playing fair.
I was supposed to be staying remote, not melting over his babysitting skills.
This was twice now he’d done this to me, and it was rude. Just really damn rude.
“He’s so good with Sully,” Savannah said, smiling widely and being super obvious. “I’m so impressed.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Very subtle.”
“What?” She feigned innocence.
Savannah was literally the worst liar ever and a terrible actress. Sometimes it still made me shake my head to think that she had come to New York to pursue acting. “Just go to dinner. Have fun. Dance up on Maddox and let loose.”
“I like that plan,” Maddox said, giving me a grin.
“You’re welcome,” I told him, as Savannah blushed a little.
Once they were out of the apartment and I locked it behind them, I turned back to Sean and Sully. They had quite a game going. Sully was chuckling and drooling, seemingly unaware his parents had left.
Sean was looking ridiculously good looking, his T-shirt pulling up to expose abs I could never get enough of. I’d had a previous commitment to watch Sully, or I would be at my apartment right then climbing onto Sean’s lap myself. Horsey ride for me. I couldn’t get enough of him. But I wouldn’t cancel on Savannah. I knew she lived for the isolated breaks she got. It must be hard as hell to work from home with a baby in the same room.
Now though I was kind of glad I was getting to witness Sean with a child. I understood fully why his ex-girlfriend would trust him to babysit her toddler. He was great at it.
After another minute, he pretended to throw Sully, like a rider off a horse, gently depositing him onto the floor. “Whoa, runaway horse.” He rolled onto his side.
I kicked my boots off and sat down next to them. Sully used my knee to pull himself up into a standing position and gave me a drooling grin. “That was fun, huh?” I told him. “Sean can be a lot of fun. So much fun.”
“No dirty talk in front of the baby,” Sean said, giving me a smirk.
“I am not going to talk dirty in front of the baby. You, on the other hand, just straight up said you want to go downtown in front of Savannah.” It was hard to come up with another way to say ‘taste my pussy’ that wasn’t as equally dirty or truly cheesy. Though going downtown was pretty cheesy, damn it.
Sean laughed. “I didn’t know she would open the door right then. I had no intention of talking about sex in front of her. Going downtown or how much I prefer it over uptown or how sometimes the train stops at midtown and how frustrating that is, or how taking the express train is really, really satisfying.”
Each word he spoke somehow got me even hotter and I couldn’t even figure out why. I stared at him. “You’re impossible. Plus I don’t even know what the train stopping midtown means.” I really didn’t. “Which one of us is the train?”
The look Sean gave me was one of disbelief. “Do we need to have a lesson? Because I’m pretty sure you’re the tunnel and I’m the train.”
Right. “But… I mean, yes. Obviously. But explain the train stopping at midtown to me.”
Sean sighed. “It doesn’t mean anything. I was just talking off the cuff and it doesn’t mean a single thing.”
“So it doesn’t mean that you might break down from time to time?” I said, enjoying how frustrated he was getting. He’d never once needed a pause. Not even close.
“I do not break down!” He rolled a ball to Sully. “You’re trying to bait me now. I know you.”
He did know me because I was. “Just checking. Trying to sort out all the train stops.”
“I’ll show you all the train stops later.”
“That’s what I’m hoping.” The conversation was a good distraction from the very real concern that watching him let a baby crawl all over him was doing strange things to my insides.
Keep it light.
Do not fall in love.
Heed Michael’s warning– Sean didn’t want to settle down.
Try not to think about my grandfather’s advice that I should be open to falling in love.
Sean lifted Sully up in the air and kissed his little round belly.
Too late. I was already open. Wide freaking open.
Mondays were my favorite day of the week. Bone was closed so for the last few weeks, Isla had been coming over. We would make dinner together, hang out and talk, watch a movie. Have amazing sex. This Monday, I had talked Isla into hanging out earlier in the day. I wanted to have sex with her, no doubt about it, but I also wanted to get to know Isla outside of the kitchen and the bedroom.
She was worried about running into someone we knew if we stayed in Brooklyn, so I picked her up in my car, a plan in mind.
Isla looked around the street with a grimace, before yanking open the passenger door and jumping in. “Hi.” She slammed the door shut. “I think we’re clear.”
I should care as much as she did, because my ass, my job, and my future were on the line, but I cared more about her. “You look great,” I said, as I pulled away from the curb.
She was wearing her usual choice of jeans, boots, and a leather jacket, but she’d pulled her hair up in a way that made me want to kiss her neck. Her earrings were little red guitars.
“Thanks,” she said, giving me a smile.
“Do you play the
guitar?” I asked, because that wouldn’t surprise me. Isla was a cool girl.
“Yes. Not so much these days because I work so much, but as a teenager and in college. Gus got lots of calls from the building super that the neighbors had complained. He used to say it was no worse than our neighbors fighting at all hours of the night or the lady across the hall’s chihuahua. That dog had an attitude.”
“We had a dog like that in our building when I was a kid. It was a schnauzer and it was so freaking mean. It must have bit my ankles a dozen times when I would walk him for the owner. She was like ninety-five years old and couldn’t take him out much. She was much nicer than her dog.”
“Did you have a dog?”
“No. My mother wasn’t on board with the messes pets make. You?”
Isla shook her head. “No. My mother was allergic. Where are we going?”
“Since I’m your dirty little secret I thought we could get out of the city for a few hours. My parents have a house in Saugerties, upstate. I want to show you something.” I was only half-kidding about the dirty little secret part. I didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable or spend our time together worried about getting busted.
“Something to show me? I can take a guess as to what that might be.” She glanced down at my junk.
“Get your mind out of the gutter, woman. It’s a surprise.” It was the building I’d bought to be my own twenty seat restaurant one day. It was right in the town’s quaint downtown.
“Your mother warned me against you at the baby shower, you know. She wasn’t exactly charming about it, either. She acted like I’m a simpleton who would fall for your lies.”
“My mother gives me far too much credit.”
“I have a confession to make.” She cleared her throat. “That has nothing to do with your mother.”
Confessions are never good. No one confessed awesome news, just shit that’s going to hurt. I didn’t like the sound of that so I teased her to avoid whatever she was about to say. “You’re wildly in love with me? You secretly have six kids? Wait. I know. You still like boy bands.”
“I do still like boy bands and I refuse to call it a guilty pleasure because I don’t feel guilty. You’ve seen my apartment. I’m not hiding secret babies. No, my confession is that Courtney asked me straight out if we’re dating and I denied it. Really vehemently. Like I may have overreacted.”
Okay, that was nothing like I was imagining. Relief flooded through me. Since I was driving in Brooklyn traffic, which demanded I keep my eyes on the road, I couldn’t see her face, but I thought it was interesting she didn’t deny being in love with me. There was no way she was, obviously, but it was still curious she didn’t vehemently deny it.
“Overreacted how?” I could care less, honestly.
“I panicked. I just totally choked. I didn’t know what to say and I knew she wouldn’t believe me if I totally denied it unless I said I can’t stand you. I’m sorry, that was a crappy thing to do. I would be mad if you said that about me.”
“You told her you can’t stand me?” I was a little offended but I knew Isla and I knew how important it was to her to feel in control and to keep our relationship a secret. I reached out and squeezed her knee. “I’m not sure how believable that is anymore, but I will roll with it if that’s what you want.”
Isla made a sound of frustration. “I don’t know what I want.”
I didn’t really love the sound of that. “I’m not sure it’s any better for a work environment to have two people hate each other than it is if they’re dating. Personally, I don’t think it's anyone’s business in either case.”
“I guess not.” She didn’t sound totally convinced though.
We’d been seeing each other for three weeks, spending every free minute we could together. Isla had jokingly called me her lover. I wasn’t sure how much longer we could pretend this was nothing.
“By the way, I’m not going to walk around sharing that we’re seeing each other, but if someone in my personal life asks me if something is going on between us, I’m going to say we’re dating. If anyone at work directly asks, I’m not sure what I’ll say.” I wasn’t. I wasn’t sure I could stand there and deny a relationship that was really starting to mean a hell of a lot to me. “But I’ll probably be honest if I’m really pressed.”
Isla sighed, but she didn’t say anything. I glanced over at her but I couldn’t read her expression.
“I don’t know. I just don’t want it to be a big deal. Speaking of work, I saw something I wanted to discuss with you. Their menu for the Best of Brooklyn cook-off was posted by Woodstock and it’s my menu. Martin and I were discussing it weeks ago, and he totally stole everything on it.”
“What? Are you kidding me?” I was actually shocked. “That is such a dick move.”
“I can’t decide what to do. Anything? Nothing? I can’t stand the idea of him just getting away with this but I have no clue what to do to fix it. I can’t exactly storm into Woodstock and accuse him of being a menu thief.”
“Yeah, that would be a bad idea.” Though I was a little surprised she wasn’t planning to do that. Isla was a bit of a hothead. “Do you have proof that it was your idea?”
“Yes, I have emails and texts between us.”
Tapping my thumbs on the steering wheel, I thought about it for a second. There wasn’t much in the way of legal recourse. But I agreed with her– he shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this. “I think we do the exact same menu. But better. You and I can cook circles around him.”
“What? Seriously? Won’t that be… bonkers?”
“Bonkers? I can tell you lived with your grandfather.”
Isla laughed. “Shut up. I think I actually picked it up from Felicia. But I’m serious. Everyone will notice.”
“That’s the point. Who would be bold enough to be the copycat? It will get people talking. Woodstock will either change their menu or they'll just lose to us.”
“I don’t know. That seems like a huge risk. We could look like the copycats. I don’t know how Sid would feel about that.”
“We have some time to think about it. But you’re right, he shouldn’t be allowed to do this to you. It’s total bullshit.”
“I would just beat him up but I like his family.”
I glanced at Isla. “You would beat him up? Did you take boxing lessons along with guitar lessons?”
“As a matter of fact, yes.”
Jesus. “Don’t piss you off. Is that what you’re saying?”
“Oh, I think that goes without saying.”
It did. “I told you the first time we met you don’t scare me.” Not in that way, at any rate.
Nope. She scared me in the sense that damn, I could really fall hard for Isla.
And then what?
I had no clue.
The drive to Saugerties went by fast. Sean and I had easy conversation the entire way. I wouldn’t have expected we had as much in common as we did, but he’d talked about his grandmother being pivotal in his life. About his passion for food.
“I left that part out,” he said. “When I told you about getting sick of takeout. My grandmother was the only one in our family that cooked and after she died, I was angry at myself for not learning in her kitchen. So I started as a homage to her and then found out how much I liked it. How I could express myself creatively through food.”
“I definitely understand that.” It told me a lot more about Sean. I realized I had pre-judged him, mostly based on his attitude in the elevator, which had been because he was claustrophobic. He hadn’t exactly put his best foot forward but I had held him to those eight minutes and that wasn’t entirely fair. Right from the beginning at Bone, he’d made an effort to reach out and try and include me and Martin.
Not that I wanted to think about Martin and get myself all worked up again.
“This town is adorable. It reminds me of where I grew up in Jersey.” It made my heart ache, actually, if I were honest. The drive in was all trees and the
expanse of the Hudson River, with an impressive lighthouse. Then the downtown area was brick buildings of various heights and paint colors dotting the street. Most of the windows had eyebrow arches, detailing that added to the charming appearance of the town.
Most of the time I stuffed down my feelings about my childhood, which wasn’t particularly healthy. But when people asked where I was from I always said New York. Which I was, after the age of fifteen. I hadn’t lived anywhere else in thirteen years. But before that I was a small-town girl.
“I used to spend summers here. My parents wanted to escape the heat in the city and would come down on the weekends but they left me here with my grandmother full-time.”
Sean pulled into a parking spot downtown and put the car in park.
“With your siblings?” I asked. “I’m jealous. Sometimes it really sucked being an only child. Especially in the summer when my friends would go on vacations.”
“My siblings never came. Michael was always sent to fancy camps or a couple of times to Europe with my father’s family. Maeve went to equestrian camp every year and at least twice she went to Paris with my mother. But I came here.”
That made me frown. What was his family’s issue with him? Sean wasn’t looking at me. He was staring at the storefront directly before us.
“I didn’t mind, not exactly, because I was happier with my grandmother, but when I was seventeen and I found out that my father wasn’t actually my biological father, it made a whole lot more sense.”
“What?” I gaped at him. I had not expected him to say that.
He turned and gave me a shrug. “Yep. Turns out my mother went on a cruise with her girlfriends and got a whole lot more than a tan. My father found out when I was eleven and while he wasn’t cruel to me, he distanced himself. I think my mother always looked at me and was internally wincing at her lack of judgment.”
“That’s horrible. It’s not like it was your fault.” I was appalled for him.
“No. That’s why grandmother was my safe haven.” Sean shook his head slowly. “I don’t know why I just told you that. No one knows I’m not actually my father’s son except for Michael. I don’t even think my sister knows. I did tell Jasmine when I was about twenty-four and my mother had said something really cutting in front of my girlfriend. I was embarrassed and needed to share with her. But other than that? No one knows. Not extended family, not friends.”
Who’s The Boss? Page 14