The comments his mother had made to me made more sense now. She looked at her son and saw all her own flaws. That she wanted to play up his promiscuity and unable to settle down was a deflection away from her own guilt.
I reached out and put my hand over his. “Thanks for sharing something so personal. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been to deal with.”
He turned his hand and laced our fingers together. “Thanks, Isla. Most of the time it doesn’t bother me, but I do miss my grandmother.”
“Do you know who your biological father is?”
“Some dude from Scotland who had a charming accent and was the chef on board the ship.” He grinned. “A therapist would love that but I swear it has nothing to do with anything. Maybe genetically I’m drawn to food, but I’m not some guy trying to connect with a man he’s never met. I really don’t care who the guy is other than to feel bad that he has DNA walking around and has no clue.”
“That is a little crazy, isn’t it?” I tried to imagine not hating my parents forever if they had kept a secret like that from me. But not only did Sean not seem resentful he put up with his mother’s shit. I was impressed with how prosaic he was about the whole situation. It could not have been easy to learn he wasn’t who he thought he was.
My heart squeezed. I definitely had misjudged Sean. He was a decent man.
“Come on, let’s go inside.” He let go of my hand and opened his door.
“Inside where?” I glanced around for a coffee shop. I could use a cup. Driving almost two hours in the spring sunshine had made me sleepy.
“My building.” Sean came around to open my door but I was already out. He shut it behind me. “I bought this one.” He pointed to the storefront in red brick with two floors above. “For my future restaurant.”
“What?” I was astonished. “You bought a building? Here?”
He nodded, looking pleased with himself. “Yep. The prices here are much more affordable, obviously, but some day in the not-so-distant future I want to move here. Hopefully start a family.”
Oh, God, now I was really warm on the inside. I shoved my hands in my back pocket so I didn’t loop my arm through his and melt against him like a stick of butter. “That’s amazing, Sean. I’m so happy for you.”
“Yeah, because you can have my job once I leave,” he said, giving me a smile.
That made me laugh. “I know this is hard to believe, but I wasn’t even thinking about that. I was thinking it’s very cool you get to live out your dream.”
Sean found the key on his fob and opened the front door. It was hushed and chilly inside the building. He flicked on the lights. “Welcome to Sadie’s.”
“Sadie’s?”
He nodded. “My grandmother.”
Of course. I was astonished to feel tears pricking in the back of my eyes. What the hell? I never cried. I hadn’t cried since my parents funeral. In thirteen years not one tear had formed in either eye.
But I was standing in an empty storefront, a self-proclaimed cynic, a wall built around my emotions, and here Sean had an actual brick building that was a representation of sentiment and dreams. It made me feel like I’d been emotionally frozen for a decade, whereas he had embraced his love for his grandmother.
So there it was– moisture behind my lids. The tears didn’t fall. I was able to blink them away quickly but that they had even attempted an appearance took my breath away. I felt lightheaded and I dropped down into a squat, concentrating on breathing in and out.
“Are you okay?” he asked, sounding alarmed. Sean dropped down beside me and rubbed my arms. “Isla?”
I just nodded. Then when I spoke, my voice was tight. “It’s just… that’s a very sweet gesture. To name it after your grandmother. And I guess I just realized that I run away from my grief. I try to pretend it doesn’t hurt.” I forced myself to look up at him. “But by doing that, I ignore them. It’s like they didn’t exist.”
The tears reappeared. A drop rolled down each cheek, astonishing me. “I never meant to do that.”
There was nothing but compassion and understanding in his green eyes. Sean put his arms around me and pulled me close into a hug. His lips brushed over my lips and it was nice to lean into him, to have him hold me up.
“They know that,” he said. “Trust me, they know. You were trying to be strong in a tough world and you succeeded. You’re a very strong woman.” He pulled back, using the backs of his thumbs to wipe the two stray tears. “But you don’t have to always be strong. You’re not fifteen anymore. You can let people in. Ask for help.”
My throat was tight. “I’m not sure I know how to do that.”
“I’m no expert on letting people in. I hold everyone at arm’s length and blame it on my work hours.”
“Same.” I gave a small, strangled laugh.
Sean stood up, pulling me to my feet. He cupped my cheeks with his palms in a way that almost made me panic, it was so tender. But I wanted to stay in his embrace. Hell, I needed to stay. His voice was soothing, his expression concerned and caring.
“But I want to be with you, Isla, for real. I want to give this, us, a real shot. I don’t want this to be casual. I want to build something with you. Am I way off-base here that maybe you and I could be a pretty damn good fit?”
“No. You’re not off-base.” We were a good fit. Hell, we were an amazing fit. I stared into his eyes. “I think we’re actually a lot alike.” Then because I felt vulnerable I did my usual cover-up. “Besides, I think I’m the only woman who can handle you.”
The corner of his mouth turned up. “True. Likewise. You’re a ballbuster but I can deal with it.”
Sean gave me a soft kiss that turned my insides to oatmeal.
I was mildly embarrassed about breaking down but mostly I was just feeling giddy, like we were on the cusp of something momentous. Together, and for me, personally. It felt like I’d turned a corner in my life. “Show me around Sadie’s,” I said. “I want to hear your whole game plan.”
He stepped back, and took my hand, a smile lighting up his handsome face. I wanted to eat him with a spoon, he was so damn good-looking. I wanted to crawl into a bed with him and spend a whole weekend. I wanted to explore every inch of his body and I wanted to hold his hand.
I wanted to fall in love with Sean.
Maybe I already had.
Twelve
Isla’s reaction had shocked the hell out of me. I hadn’t expected her to get emotional. She was constantly full of surprises. But it touched me that she’d allowed herself to be vulnerable in front of me.
I wasn’t sure what the hell had possessed me to tell her about my mother’s infidelity but what it had done was establish trust between us and had allowed her to confide in me her own feelings about her parents.
Something was happening between us. Something pretty damn big and important and fucking awesome.
Her enthusiasm for the restaurant made me feel fantastic. Hell, the name had brought her to tears. I hadn’t intended to show her so much of myself, but what she’d seen, she seemed to like. Both of me as a man and the restaurant. So I guess opening up really did work, go figure. I wanted her to like me. Hell, at this point, I needed her to like me.
“I love it,” she said, as I showed her the small back patio. It could only fit six tables, but in the summer months when the population swelled, it would be great to capitalize on the extra space. “What kind of menu are you thinking about?”
“I haven’t decided yet. I’m trying to gauge what is missing in the area and how to balance being creative and innovative with what the town will support.
She reached out and ran her hands over the brick wall. The courtyard was fully enclosed by it, matching the front exterior of the building. “I love old things.”
“That’s why you like me,” I joked. “I’m forty, remember?”
Isla made a face. “Forty is not old. If you were ninety years old like this building, that might be different. Carla was after you, by the way. So
stay away from her or I’ll have to hurt you.”
“That’s not even something you have to warn me about. I’m not interested in Carla. I’m only interested in you.” I was. For the first time in years and years I could think past today, past the latest hookup, latest date.
Damn, I needed to get a grip. Seeing Isla turn in a circle and take in the entire patio, a visual popped into my head.
Me. Her. Sadie’s. Running the restaurant together. Having a house. A kid or two.
It was overwhelming but in the most compelling way possible.
I’d always said I wasn’t going to go looking for forever.
But maybe it had gotten into an elevator with me.
“Carla just wants your body,” Isla said. “You should be grateful I saved you from being used purely for sex.”
That made me grin. “Oh, yeah, that would have been a fate worse than death. But I wasn’t ever attracted to Carla, even to be just a vehicle for her pleasure. Just so you know.”
“Can we just stop talking about Carla?”
“You brought her up. I haven’t even mentioned your little taste-test flirtation with Colin, the server who looks like an underwear model.” I reached out and pulled Isla close to me. I gave her a kiss, coaxing her lips open, so I could sweep into her mouth with my tongue and tease her.
“Who were we talking about?” she murmured when she broke off the kiss. Her lips were shiny, her voice low and a little breathless.
I loved how her voice softened when I got her aroused.
“No one. Should we try one of the local restaurants?” I asked, before I tried to talk her into sex against a brick wall in fifty degree weather. “Grab some lunch and see what’s what. Last summer I went to the pizza place, but I know there is a bar that serves pub style food that I’d like to try.”
“I can always eat.”
“Be honest,” I said as we went back through the empty store. Looking around, I realized how much work it was going to take, but instead of being overwhelmed by that, I was excited. “Admit it, you were dressing sexy to get under my skin. You wanted me.”
“To get under your skin? Yes. Did I want you? No. Not willingly anyway.”
“You wanted me unwillingly?” That amused me. She wasn’t going to give me an inch. It was a very Isla thing to say.
“Basically.” Isla bit her lip as I locked the front door behind us. “I feel like I should tell you something.”
“What?” I didn’t like the way she was looking at me. “Do you have a boyfriend in Canada?”
Isla laughed. “No. Shut up. No, it’s just that the first night we were in the bar, when Nico thought I quit and I said I absolutely did not want to quit, he texted that if you quit I was fired.”
I thought she was going to say more but when she didn’t I just nodded. “I’m not surprised. He sent me the same text. I had to play nice with you or lose my brand-new job.”
“Really? He sent you the same text? Interesting. Anyway, that’s what dressing sexy was all about. I wasn’t trying to get you to want me for my own satisfaction. It was more that the plan was you would get fired.” She wrinkled her nose. “I can admit, I’m glad you didn’t get fired.”
I was about three beats behind. I didn’t get the logic. “How was dressing sexy going to get me fired?”
“You would be completely inappropriate with me or you would lash out, in total sexual frustration.” Isla shrugged. “It made more sense at the time. Saying it out loud, it sounds like a long shot.”
“I still don’t even get it.” I really didn’t. “But thanks for being honest. I did appreciate the tight jeans, trust me, but the shoes were downright dangerous. I’m glad you’re back wearing boots because I don’t need you breaking a ankle to make an obscure point that was lost on me.”
“It was Dakota’s idea, but looking back, I can’t quite wrap my head around the logic. At the very least it was fun to torture you.”
That made me laugh as we walked down the sidewalk. It smelled like spring. New beginnings. There was a cold breeze, but daffodils were poking out of planters in front of shops and the trees had buds. “I’m sure there will be many more opportunities for you to torture me. Rest easy.”
“I think the irony here is that Nico’s plan backfired. He wanted us to get along, but I don’t think he intended for us to be having sex.”
“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. We’re entitled to a personal life.” Though if this relationship went the way I wanted it to, he was going to have to be told eventually. Which could be a massive, enormous problem.
Today wasn’t the day to think about that though.
Right now it was about possibilities and enjoying the moment.
We ate a very average lunch at the local pub. The food was under seasoned and over cooked. But that only served to reassure me there was room for another restaurant in Saugerties. Besides, I wasn’t really there to eat. I wanted to spend time with Isla and it amazed me what an easy rapport we had with each other.
Yes, she liked to snark at me. Yes, I liked to tease her and watch her get riled up. But it was a dynamic that worked for us. We both enjoyed going back and forth, trying to best each other. Not only was it entertaining, it was definitely a turn on.
By the time we were back on the road to Brooklyn, I was kicking myself for driving so far out of the city. Then again, that look on her face was I’d shown her Sadie’s would be cemented in my head for a long ass time. It had made me feel proud of myself for working so hard for what I wanted, and for honoring my grandmother.
It had made me feel worthy of having a real relationship with Isla.
While I spent the drive thinking of all the ways I could show her in bed that we were meant for each other, she was clearly on a different thought path.
We were twenty minutes from her apartment when she said, “I need to confront Martin. I’ve been avoiding the situation for weeks and I don’t like that.”
Yep. She was definitely on a different wavelength.
“And say what?”
“That he is an asshole and I hope he chokes on a turnip.” She wrinkled her nose. “Not in actuality, but you know what I mean. Seriously, why am I tiptoeing around? He stole from me. I am not the woman who sits around and lets people shit on me.”
“I agree. But what is confronting him going to do? I seriously doubt he’s going to admit wrongdoing or change his menu.”
“It should make him feel guilty. If it doesn’t he has no soul. But I guess that’s not even really the point. I need him to know I know he sucks.”
“If it makes you feel better, I guess. But let me go with you in case he gets crazy.” I didn’t really see the point. What difference did it make? Martin clearly didn’t care what Isla thought or he wouldn’t have lifted her ideas in the first place.
“No, you are not going with me. This is my fight, not yours. Besides, you being there will just make things worse. He hates you.”
She had a fair point. He did hate me for whatever reason. “Just be careful.”
“I worked with him for a long time. I deserve an explanation.”
“I think the explanation is that his ego was dented.”
“No, if his ego was dented he would steal from you, not me.”
“That’s true.” I glanced over at her. “Do you need me to do anything?”
“Help me create a totally kickass menu for the cook-off. I want to blow him out of the water.”
“I can do that.” I gave her a grin. “It’s kind of my thing.”
“Don’t be cocky.” She punched my leg lightly.
“If you think that’s cocky, you’re about to be schooled on the true meaning of the word.”
“Uh-huh. Bring it, Kincaid.”
The look she gave me made me want to hit the gas pedal just a little harder.
Thirteen
“You’re parking?” I asked Sean when we pulled onto my block. “Why? Do you have something to do in this neighborhood?” I used my best act
ing skills to sound totally innocent, like I had no idea his plan was to come upstairs so we could rip our clothes off.
He gave me a long look that made me feel warm. “Oh, hell, yeah, I have something to do in this neighborhood. I’m about to do you, Isla.”
He looked like he wanted to get started on that plan in the car. “I didn’t invite you up.” I was going to, of course, but I liked to remind Sean he wasn’t my boss in this relationship. Just at Bone.
Sean swore. “Do you have plans for tonight? I shouldn’t have wasted the day driving you upstate.”
Apparently my acting skills were better than I thought. “No, I don’t have plans. I’m just giving you a hard time because you assumed you could come up.”
He found a parking spot and deftly backed the car into it. “So I’m like a vampire. I have to wait for you to specifically invite me before I can cross your threshold?”
I laughed. “No. You’re impossible.”
“I’m obsessed with getting you naked. That’s all I’m thinking about right now. So feel free to torture me further or invite me up. Your call.”
“Oh, I’m going to invite you upstairs and then torture you.” I dropped the innocent act and went full-on seductress.
Sean’s normally light eyes were a stormy deep green. “I can live with that.”
When we went up to my apartment, I bent down and picked up Scott. “Say hi to your buddy, Sean,” I said. “And be nice to him.” I petted Scott’s head and rubbed behind his ears.
“I don’t think he’s capable of being nice.” Sean shut my door and put his hand out for Scott to sniff.
My cat hissed at him. “He’s used to being the man of the house.”
“He’s just mad because you named him Scott.”
“What’s wrong with the name Scott?” I set him back down and took my boots off. “I’m not big on names that are traditional pet names, like Fluffy or Paws. Felicia and Michael could pull off having a Mittens for a cat, and it would be adorable and appropriate, but that’s not me. I like human names for cats.”
Who’s The Boss? Page 15