Long Time Running

by Foster, Hannah

  "Why not? This apartment is plenty big enough for the three of us. You don't have to move."

  Reaching for her sister's hand she tugged her to her side on the couch. "Sarah," she began softly. "Words cannot express how grateful I am for the sacrifices you made for Jack. That he is a loving and well adjusted boy is very much because of you and I love you for that."

  "But?" she queried, her voice trembling slightly.

  "But it's time for me to be a Mom to him. And it's time for you to get your life back." Reaching up a hand, she stroked her cheek and was not surprised to feel her struggling for control. "Sarah, you are young and beautiful and have so much to offer someone. And now you can be free to do that."

  "Don't say that!" she barked, moving away from her sister. "Don't say it like Jack has been some kind of burden because he hasn't. I love him Nathalie and I wouldn't trade a moment with him for all the flowers and romance in the world."

  Taking a deep breath, Nathalie slowly let it out. "I know you love him Sar and I didn't mean he was a burden to you but I think maybe he was a convenient buffer for you as well. I think you used your responsibilities with him as a reason to avoid opening yourself up to others."

  She sprang to her feet. "I think you probably opened yourself up to others enough for both of us. And you're a fine one to talk about being a coward. I'm not the one who put continents between me and the man I loved because I didn't want to get my feelings hurt and then expected others to clean up the mess."

  "Wow," she remarked evenly. "Been holding that in for a while?"

  She shook her head as she bit back the angry tears welling in her eyes. "Everything is so easy for you," she accused. "Falling in love, building a life in Africa and then here - it just all comes together."

  Slowly rising to her feet, Nathalie exhaled as she tried to remain calm. She knew this was going to be a difficult conversation to have with her sister.

  "I think you and I both know that not everything has been so easy for me but that's neither here nor there. I wanted to fall in love Sarah. I wanted to find someone to share my life with, to grow old with, to laugh with and there isn't anything wrong with that. I think you want that too but are too scared to let it happen."

  "I don't want it," she countered angrily. "I don't want any of it. I'm quite happy to live my life by myself with Jack...and you," she added.

  "What's going on?"

  Both women spun around at the sound of Eric's voice. Andrew and Jack trickled in behind him. The three of them were returning from their guys' afternoon at the batting cage and were surprised to have returned home to the two sisters arguing.

  "Aunt Sarah?" Jack asked as he saw the distressed look on her face.

  "I'm going out," she replied tightly, reaching for her purse. She touched the top of Jack's head and brushed past Andrew without saying anything further.

  Seeing the tears trickle down her face as she walked by him, Andrew turned on his heel and followed her out. Too late to catch her at the elevator he sprinted for the stairs and took them two at a time until he reached the lobby and waited for her to get off.

  She groaned as she saw him. "Go away Drew."

  "Sarah, what's wrong?"

  Exasperated she paused and gave him a steely glare. "What do you want Drew?"

  "To help," he offered quietly.

  "I don't need your help. I am not your problem to solve, okay? We've had a few rolls in the hay and they've been great but I am not your girlfriend and having sex with me doesn't mean you are a part of my life. So just go find another warm body to keep you company. I haven't asked you to care for me or about me. In fact I have done all I can to tell you I'm not interested."

  As she brushed past him for a second time, she missed the look of devastation her words created.

  #

  "Why is Aunt Sarah so mad?" Jack asked as he climbed into his mother's lap.

  "Oh sweetie your Aunt and I just disagreed over something and I made her mad when I did that."

  "Did you apologize?" he asked. "She always tells me I have to apologize if I upset someone."

  Smiling, Nathalie kissed his cheek. "I will apologize to her," she told him. "When she comes back. Did you have fun with your Dad and Drew?"

  He nodded excitedly. "I only missed four balls."

  "He was champ," Eric chimed in, sitting down next to them.

  "I'm so proud of you," she told him lovingly. "Why don't you go get washed up and we'll get dinner started, okay?"

  Scrambling down from her lap he gave his father a high five before taking off down the hall to his bedroom.

  "You okay?" Eric asked, brushing his lips over hers.

  "I am" she said softly. "I told Sarah I was looking at apartments and she got very upset."

  Momentarily shocked by her news, he quietly cleared his throat. "She loves Jack like he's her own," he reminded her.

  "I know. And I would never, ever undermine their relationship. God Eric, she has been so good with him for so long. But we can't live here forever and I want her to start doing some things for herself. And I know it's selfish but I also want Jack and I to start really being mother and son."

  "So you're really staying?"

  It wasn't the first time he asked and though she had answered him every time, she could see there was still a need for a more reassurance.

  "I am," she smiled. "I even got letters of interest from two hospitals."

  "Really?" he asked excitedly, his mind wandering to visions of them working side by side just as they used to.

  "Yes but I don't think I want to work in a hospital."

  "No?"

  She shook her head. "I want...I need to be around for Jack and so that means more stable hours. And I think I would like to take what I know about Africa and the needs there and apply it in a meaningful way, either with an NGO or some kind of interest group."

  Gathering her in his arms, he kissed her softly, his tongue delving inside her warm mouth and tangling around hers. "I love the way your mind works," he whispered.

  They remained tangled together for several silent minutes both reveling in the opportunity to just be.

  "So it's your turn to plan our date tomorrow," Eric said, breaking the quiet. "What are we doing?"

  "I thought I would cook dinner for you."

  Sitting up straight, he let go of her. "Um, Nat. The last time you cooked for me I got food poisoning. Are you trying to kill me?"

  Rolling her eyes, she chucked a throw pillow at his head. "I'll have you know I've come a long way from not knowing a chicken had to defrost before you cooked it. I'm actually pretty good in the kitchen. So, what do you say? Feeling brave?"

  Leaning forward he stole a quick kiss. "I would say my life is in your hands."

  Chapter 27

  Coming through the door to his apartment Eric paused and smiled as he saw Nathalie curled up on his sofa asleep. She had asked for a key to his apartment to prepare for their date, telling him it would be better for all concerned if their date was at his place rather than hers. He had happily handed one over.

  Quietly placing his bag on the floor he walked over to the couch and stared lovingly at her. He admired the sweep of long, dark lashes against her cheek and the way her rosebud mouth was parted just slightly as she slept. The red jersey-knit dress she wore clung to her in all the right places and he felt both his body and his heart stirring. Still dressed in his scrubs he knew he should change and then wake her but the sight of her before him was too inviting to pass up.

  Toeing off his shoes he carefully lay down beside her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He nuzzled her neck, breathing in her heady scent. He loved the way she felt in his arms, the way her body curved against his, he loved the way she smelled and how it could send his senses reeling. He loved her - her strengths, her weakness and everything in between.

  Feeling her shift against him he pressed a lingering kiss to the soft place where her neck met her shoulder. "Hi," he murmured.

  Turning t
o face him she gave a small groan. "I fell asleep, didn't I?"

  He nodded, smiling. "You must have exhausted yourself cooking my feast."

  Snuggling in against him she slipped her arms around his waist and brushed her lips over his. "It is a culinary masterpiece if I do say so myself."

  "Want to work up an appetite with me?" he asked with a waggle of his eyebrows.

  Playfully slapping his chest she shook her head. "You are incorrigible."

  "Yes in fact I am."

  "Go get changed," she ordered teasingly, wriggling out of his embrace, "and prepared to be dazzled when you get back out here."

  "I'm already dazzled," he quipped, getting to his feet.

  #

  Having stripped off his scrubs, he padded back down the hall rolling up the sleeves of his white shirt and doing up the belt on his jeans. When he walked into the kitchen he found Nathalie staring at a rather burnt roasted chicken.

  "It's....it's ruined" she stated plaintively. "My big culinary masterpiece is a dud."

  Feeling badly that her effort seemed to be all for naught, he tilted his head to the side and said, "It probably still tastes really good."

  Breaking off a burnt tip of the wing she held it up to him. "If you like charcoal."

  "I'm sorry babe," he smiled apologetically.

  "Me too. I've ruined our date!"

  Tugging her to him he looked lovingly in to her eyes. "No you haven't. You're here and that's all I need for a perfect date with you."

  A faint blush colored her cheeks. "You've gotten cheesier as you've gotten older."

  "Maybe," he shrugged. "Why don't I call Golden Palace and have them deliver some dinner?"

  Sighing in defeat, she nodded. "At least this time the chicken was cooked."

  Nathalie opened the wine as Eric called the restaurant. Ensconced on the sofa, she passed a glass to him. She watched him curiously as he took a sip from his glass. His brow was knitted together and she gently ran her finger across it.

  "What's going on in that big brain of yours?" she asked quietly as she stretched her legs out into his lap.

  Softly stroking her smooth skin he smiled nervously. "I wasn't sure...I mean I was thinking of bringing it up tonight but I wasn't sure I would but I forgot how it's impossible to hide anything from you."

  Raising an eyebrow, she quietly encouraged him to go on.

  "I...I was thinking about yesterday and the apartments you are looking at and I...I don't want you to move into an apartment in the neighborhood ."

  "What?" she asked in confusion. "Why not?"

  Bringing his wine glass to his lips, he took a big gulp and let the cool liquid trickle down his throat.

  "I want you to move in with me," he blurted quietly. "I want you and Jack to move in here."

  "Eric" she gasped, shocked.

  Gently removing her legs from his lap he got to his feet and started to pace. "It's just...Nat, we've lost eight years together, eight years we are never going to get back and I don't want to lose more time. And I don't want Jack shuffling between houses. We're a family. No matter what happened after, Jack was conceived in love - we may not have known we were creating him but the act of doing so was a loving one."

  Her eyes glistened with tears as she nodded. "Yes. He was most definitely conceived in love."

  "Nat, you're my family" he declared urgently. "You have always been the family I needed and wanted and I don't want you living somewhere else. I want to come home to you, go to bed with you, wake up with you. I want to be the one to chase your nightmares away and I want to be the one that makes you laugh until you are breathless."

  Placing her wine glass on the side table she rose to her feet and walked to him, gently cupping his cheek with her hand. "Eric, what are you saying?"

  "I'm saying I love you" he replied thickly. "I'm saying I am in love with you."

  She stared at him in surprise.

  "I am still in love with you Nathalie. I have never stopped being in love with you and even on the days that I wished I could, it was impossible. You...before surgery you told me that I feel like safety to you."

  She swiped at the small drip of tears streaking her cheeks. "You do," she interrupted.

  "That's what you are to me. You are the only home my heart recognizes and you are who I want to be with for now and for always."

  She was stunned silent.

  "Say something" he pleaded.

  "My heart has always belonged to you Eric. And it always will."

  Taking her face in his hands, he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her with unbridled passion. It was as though finally being able to say out loud what he had carried with him for so long had freed him.

  The ferocity of his kiss took her breath away. Feeling her legs give way, she fisted his shirt trying to stay upright. Sensing her weakness, Eric scooped her up in his arms and carried her down the hallway, his mouth still fused to hers. Her fingers threaded through his hair as her lips started to swell from the pressure of his kiss. He laid her gently on the bed and leaning back, stared at her in breathless wonder. Filled with both love and desire for her and unable to help himself he placed a series of small staccato kisses against her lips.

  "I love you," she told him as she recaptured her breath.

  The words were like music to him and his mouth returned to hers, ravaging her with kisses. His tongue was insistent as it brushed against hers and Nathalie moaned loudly in response. Clumsily and restlessly she fumbled with the buttons of his shirt before finally ripping it open in a pique of frustration.

  Kneeling back on his heels, he smirked at her. "Easy tiger," he teased.

  She shook her head. "Not a chance. God Eric, I want to get lost in you and the way you make me feel."

  Peeling off his shirt, he tossed it off the side of the bed. Her eyes danced with desire, inhaling one serrated breath after another. Reaching out she grabbed hold of his belt buckle and pulled him to her. Bracing his hands on either of side of her, he hovered just above his eyes smoldering as his hips brushed against hers. Lifting her head she moved to kiss him and pouted as he ducked out of the way. He kissed her way down her body, over her dress, before kneeling in front of her.

  His hands trailed up and down her legs, teasing her thighs apart, before pushing her dress up. She shuddered as his knuckles grazed across her hot center.

  "These will have to come off" he told her as he peeled her black lace panties down her legs and throwing them over his shoulder. Leaning forward, he dropped a long, lingering kiss at the apex of her thighs.

  "Oh my god! Eric! Wh-what are you doing?"

  "Tasting" he told her before he dragged his tongue along her sex.

  She cried out as his tongue dipped inside, her legs shaking as he covered her skin in hot kisses. Frustrated by the barrier of her dress and suddenly overcome with a need to touch all of her, he pushed her dress up higher before finally getting it over her head. Quickly, he reached around her back and unhooked her bra, sending it to join the growing pile of clothes. Her nipples puckered and hardened and she moaned loudly as he closed his mouth around the tip, laving it with his tongue. Arching up from the bed, she pushed her breast further into his mouth as she scratched her fingers along his chest. Her hips bucked as he traced the outline of her sex, teasing the bundle of nerves nestled at the top. She spread her legs wider in invitation but he ignored her request, instead continuing to tease and touch and push her ever closer to the edge. She mewled as he switched to her other breast, biting playfully at the hardened peak. She was desperate to cover him in kisses, to taste him, to free his erection from the confines of his jeans but she was incapable of keeping a complete thought in her head as he assaulted all of her pleasure points.

  Her body was humming from his touch and she felt almost off balance from the rawness of her nerve endings. He brushed his cheek along hers as he nuzzled her neck before moving to the hollow of his throat where his tongue worked in small, deliberate circles.

  Though it had
only been a month since they had last made love, this feeling, this unencumbered giving of themselves to each other was overwhelming and sustaining all at once. Fumbling, her hands went in search of his belt as she clumsily undid it before turning her attention to his jeans. She dragged her fingertips along the outline of his arousal, straining dangerously against the denim and smiled as she felt him shudder. He stopped moving as she pushed his pants over his hips, freeing him, and groaned as her hand wrapped around him and stroked his length.

  He crawled to her on the bed and was taken by surprise as she pushed him against the pillows. Taking the opportunity to return the favor, she started at his neck and began a trail of kisses down the length of his body. She paused at his chest and placed a lingering kiss over his heart. He threaded his fingers through her hair and reveled in the sensations she was sending through his body.

  He grabbed the bed sheets, his eyes clenched shut as he felt the warmth from her mouth envelop him. He groaned as she straddled him, her hips undulating against his. He once again went in search of her mouth, needing to kiss her. They moved around the bed, their bodies joined together as they hungrily reacquainted themselves. It had been weeks of passion and love denied and now they could not refuse it any longer. There was a flurry of limbs tangling, breath mingling and bodies touching. As the pleasure built, they pushed each other over the edge holding on to each other as though each was afraid to let go.

  They collapsed on the bed, breathless and ragged. Eric reached for Nathalie, tugging her to him as he dropped soft, loving kisses on her lips.

  "Say it again" she asked quietly, tracing patterns along his chest with her fingertips.

  He knew instantly what it was she wanted to hear and how much the words meant to her. "I love you." Feeling several tears drip onto his chest he stroked the back of her head. "Nat?"

  Lifting her head she smiled tenderly. "I used...I used to think that there were some wounds that could never be healed. But I know now that love is stronger than anything."

  Chapter 28