Submission (Surrender Book 1)

by Tina Donahue

  “Sorry, no calls from your guys.”

  “They are not my… Forget it. Get back to work.”

  Chair legs scraped the floor, Jacquie sitting when she should have been leaving. “You are my work. Making certain everything runs smoothly for you is part of my job description. Forgive me for saying so, but you look godawful.”

  Just what Bree needed on a Monday, the fashion police. She’d been so exhausted from the good times ending, she’d thrown on a sweatshirt, jeans, and sandals rather than her usual Frederick’s of Hollywood office wear, featuring plunging necklines and short skirts. “I’m not feeling well.”

  “Did things go badly with your… the guys?”

  Tears threatened. She pushed them back and rolled her forehead over her arm. “It was fine. Great. And now it’s over.”

  “Oh no, why? You like them and they—”

  “Jacquie, please.” Bree straightened. “You couldn’t possibly understand this, so don’t try.”

  She pressed back in her chair, her hand to her chest. “I know I’m young, but…”

  “What are you talking about? I’m only three years older than you.” Not a senior citizen ready for Medicare. “Young enough to be your sister, not your mom. My personal life is off limits.” Which should be easy since she didn’t have one any longer. “I need to get to work. So do you. No calls or interruptions.”

  “From anyone?”

  Especially from her guys. Bree couldn’t speak the words. “That’s right. Now please leave.”

  The following day, Bree had more or less pulled herself together, fixing her hair, wearing makeup, and dressing as she should.

  Jacquie eyed her cautiously, but didn’t speak, nor did she follow Bree into her office.

  Several sticky notes decorated her desk. Calls from vendors, potential VIP clients, and other business she had to deal with.

  Nothing from Lucius, Tav, or Cody. As if her time with them hadn’t happened and was already forgotten. She blessed them for making this easy and cursed them for forgetting her so quickly. Fuck, she didn’t know what she wanted, and it took its toll. Sleep wasn’t happening. She couldn’t eat. Making a decision became as difficult as saying no when they’d suggested she have fun with them to pay off their investments.

  She did what they’d asked. Her carnal hangover was a bitch, leaving her wanting, needy, and uncertain. Everything she’d avoided through life and couldn’t allow now. She’d held off resolving this for too long but couldn’t any longer and picked up the phone. Her first call of many.

  Lucius studied investments on his home computer, the words and numbers running together, making no sense. Concentrating on anything except each day going by without hearing from Bree was useless. Already two weeks had passed and nada. He slumped in his chair.

  His phone rang.

  Like Pavlov’s dog expecting a treat and subsequently drooling, he couldn’t slow his pulse, hoping for Bree’s call.

  The display showed Tav. Fuck. “Yeah?”

  “You hear anything from her yet?”

  “I’d be calling you and Cody if I had, as we promised each other.”

  “Shit. You sure we should hold off? Maybe she’s waiting for us to contact her.”

  Lucius hung his head. “This isn’t the fifties where women wait for anything. Besides, does Bree strike you as the kind who would do that, rather than simply making a move?”

  “Probably not.” Tav huffed. “But if she is, we’re screwed.”

  Lucius’s phone beeped. “Hold on. I have another call.” Cody. Lucius took it. “Yeah?”

  “Any word from Bree?”

  “Nope.”

  “Maybe we need to change our plan since she didn’t choose me, you, Tav or all of us. She might think we’re done with her, that we only wanted to use her for sex, and since we have, it’s over.”

  She couldn’t hold them in such low regard. However, she did have intimacy issues.

  Call waiting beeped again. Damn. “Hold on, someone’s calling.”

  Bree.

  Holy Christ. Lucius’s heart slammed into his throat. He cleared it and prayed he could speak normally. “Hey.”

  “Hi. Have a sec?”

  For her, he’d offer as much as they needed to see their relationship through, no matter where it took them. “Uh-huh.”

  “I, ah, are you free tomorrow evening at nine?”

  His skin tingled, excitement coursing through him. “I am.”

  “Can you come to Surrender?”

  This was better than he hoped. “Sure.”

  “Great. I’ll see you then.”

  He merged Cody and Tav’s calls so they could conference. “I’m back. Bree phoned.” He told them what she said.

  Heavy breathing answered rather than joyful cheers.

  He couldn’t blame them. If she’d called either man and not him, he wouldn’t have been a happy camper.

  “Congrats.” Tav sighed mournfully. “I… hold on, I have a call.”

  During the interim, Lucius and Cody didn’t speak.

  Tav came back on. “Holy shit. Bree wants me at the club too, same night, same time.”

  Cody whooped. “I have a call. It’s got to be her for me.”

  Lucius certainly hoped so, not wanting Cody as the odd man out.

  He returned, breathless. “I’m going to be there too. I can’t wait.”

  Neither could Lucius.

  The following evening at nine on the dot, male voices sounded outside Bree’s office door.

  Dizziness hit so hard, she gripped her chair to keep from swaying.

  Jacquie greeted Tav, Lucius, and Cody then ushered them into the conference room as Bree had instructed.

  Her palms were sweaty, heartbeat erratic, mouth dry, keeping her from swallowing. Standing took great effort. Never had she been as shaky. Until tonight, she’d never dealt with emotional issues before, solely business. She missed those times.

  Her stomach wouldn’t stop rolling.

  Upon leaving her office, she avoided Jacquie’s stare. At the conference room door, Bree inhaled deeply then entered.

  The guys turned as one, facing her, smiles broad and eager.

  Lucius wore a dark brown suit, its cut perfect, shirt and tie impeccable. Cody looked preppy, as always, in his chinos, sports jacket, and Oxford shirt. Tav had donned a tee, jeans, and the same ratty jacket he’d worn his last time here. Tonight, he’d added a dated, too narrow tie.

  A lump rose in her throat. She longed to throw herself into their arms. Instead, she closed the door and approached slowly.

  Their grins had already faded. Each glanced at the envelopes she held.

  “These are for you.” She handed them over.

  Lucius held his up. “What is this?”

  Time for the truth. She couldn’t avoid it any longer. “Your investments—paid back in full with interest. I’ve found another partner.”

  Tav’s chin dropped.

  Cody frowned. “What? Why for God’s sake? We didn’t ask for this.” He shook the envelope. “Fuck, we don’t want it.” He tossed his on the conference table.

  She brought it back to him. “Take it.”

  “No.” He crossed his arms.

  “Very well. I’ll have Jacquie mail the check to you.”

  Lucius stepped closer. “You could have simply put the funds in our accounts. You do have the numbers for payments, which we told you we didn’t need or want. So why call us here? Why the production?”

  Her heart clenched. “Returning the money without explanation wasn’t right. I couldn’t be that cold.”

  Tav’s eyes bugged out. “You call this fucking warm?”

  “I’m being decent about this!” She held back tears. “I’ve never had any moments like what you guys gave me, but this isn’t workable. Never has been.”

  “Why?” Cody glared at her. “You want one of us over the other?”

  “No. Never.”

  “Then why?” Lucius touched her arm.


  She pulled away. “Because the numbers won’t work in the real world. We’ve enjoyed ourselves. Let’s leave it at that.” She backed toward the door. “You can come to the club anytime you want. I’ve already told staff you have lifetime passes. Do what you want here with whomever you like. Bring dates if they’d like to play. We owe each other nothing now. You’re free to live your lives as you want and so am I.”

  Before she wept, she fled the room.

  Lucius exited the club first, Tav and Cody trailing behind.

  They stopped at Tav’s Jeep. He slouched against it, his envelope crushed in his fist. “This is like a fucking Fellini movie or a nightmare. I thought…”

  “We all did, but Bree has other plans.” Cody swore. “Why not cut our hearts out or chew off our balls?”

  Lucius slipped the envelope in his pocket. “She’s hurting.”

  Cody bared his teeth. “And we’re not?”

  “This isn’t about us.” God, he and Tav could be dense. “Didn’t you see her face?” The pain in Bree’s eyes and her trembling mouth had killed Lucius, especially when she fought so hard to hide what she felt. “She didn’t want to do this.”

  “Yet she did.” Cody stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Guess your brilliant plan didn’t work.”

  Or had too well, her feelings for them frightening her badly. Lucius faced the club, muggy wind tangling his hair, headlights sweeping past, patrons arriving for their wanton evenings. “She needs time.”

  Tav pushed away from his vehicle. “How much?”

  “Whatever she needs. Push her and she’ll run the other way. I guarantee it.”

  “Great.” Cody kicked his heel against the asphalt. “I was going to have her shoot the rapids with me, once I figured how to talk her into it.”

  “I wanted us to go fishing at Lake Shasta.” Tav slouched. “And maybe teach her how to really rough it without bringing a freaking bed along.”

  Lucius also had his plans and dreams. She’d blindsided him tonight, though he shouldn’t have been surprised. Her silence on his yacht had said so much more than words he wouldn’t have wanted to hear or face, especially if he’d disappointed her.

  He hadn’t. She wanted him as much as he did her. The only thing he had left to hold onto.

  On his lonely journey home, Tav kept itching to call Bree, ask her to talk to him, explain what was going through her mind. So what if the world didn’t accept three men and one woman? It wasn’t like they planned to build a reality show around their lives. Who in the fuck would ever know except them?

  He could be as discreet as the next person. More so, since he’d learned early on how to be invisible to cops and upstanding citizens who didn’t like him or his family coming anywhere near their parks.

  Stopped at a light, he growled. “Shit, Bree, what you’ve done wasn’t necessary.”

  Nor could he accept it. He grabbed his phone to speed dial her but couldn’t.

  If Lucius was right, and he usually was, she either wouldn’t answer his call or would put extra distance between them.

  Already it seemed greater than the Grand Canyon’s gaping width.

  Once Cody arrived home, he fired up his Harley and roared away, needing to drive rather than think or mourn what should have been but couldn’t be, as long as Bree didn’t listen to reason.

  Twice, he drove to the club to sit her down and explain what she should have already known. If bungeeing, parasailing, paragliding, and riding on his cycle hadn’t killed her, having fun with him and the guys repeatedly and continually wouldn’t either.

  He simply needed her to listen.

  Since he had the access code to open the front gate, he could slip onto the grounds and into her office. Unless she’d changed the combination.

  Not wanting to find out, he roared down the coast. Lights pierced the dark, indicating populated areas, empty stretches separating them, the stiff breeze wiggling vegetation, surf breaking to the side.

  He drove into the hills, needing to get higher, feel as free and weightless as when he’d been paragliding.

  Rarely had his arms and legs felt so cumbersome, except when he’d been paralyzed. Being alone sucked. Living without her wasn’t something he wanted to suffer through.

  Standing on the highest point, he faced the ocean, its restless water as unfathomable as she was.

  A week passed, then two.

  Bree wasn’t ready to croon I Gotta Feeling, but she was functioning. No longer jumping each time the phone rang or cringing when Jacquie entered the office, as she did now.

  Rather than glance up from her computer, Bree asked the obvious. “What is it?”

  “This came in the mail.” She placed the envelope on Bree’s desk.

  Cody’s investment in Surrender. Jacquie had sent it certified mail. He’d written REFUSE TO ACCEPT from side to side and had struck through his name.

  Bree’s stomach fell. She wanted to throw it in the trash, but was afraid if she touched it, she might try to catch his scent on the paper. Since breaking things off, she refused to have limes in the house. The fragrance too easily brought his image to mind. The same for leather and tobacco conjuring Lucius, while anything woodsy brought her back to her time in Tav’s arms.

  She rubbed her eyes.

  “Here.” Jacquie rounded the desk and massaged Bree’s shoulders. “Better?”

  Unfortunately, since she wanted Jacquie to leave. Crying while anyone watched wasn’t Bree’s thing. “Yeah. Thanks. I’m good now.”

  Jacquie didn’t stop. “Should I deposit the check in his bank account? It’d be harder for him to refuse. Plus, he’s got so much dough, he might not notice more.”

  Bree shrugged.

  “Want to talk?”

  No. Yes. Uncertain, she patted Jacquie’s hand. “Discussing this isn’t going to change things.”

  “I know.” She stopped kneading Bree’s shoulder and rested her hip against the desk. “But you can and should do so. Even a fool can see you’re miserable. Don’t you ever look at yourself?”

  Bree lifted her face. “Are you actually calling me a fool?”

  “Misguided. Like how you treat me. Always pushing me away when I’m trying to help. I only do so because I want to and I like you. Be as mean as you want, I’m not going anywhere.”

  Bree’s face warmed. “I’ve been mean? That wasn’t my intent.”

  “I know.” Jacquie brushed her bangs aside. “You think you’re playing the big, bad CEO, but you’re much nicer.”

  “Don’t be so sure.”

  “I am.” She squeezed Bree’s arm. “If I had three gorgeous and nice guys after me, do you think I’d tell them to get lost? No. Way. I’d be down on my knees thanking my good luck for having brought them into my life. I wouldn’t be here working around the clock, losing weight, getting bags under my eyes, and aging by the minute to stay safe. Give me fear and doubt any day, as long as love’s in the equation. Given how crazy they are about you and your feelings for them, that balances out the bad crap. I say go for it, rather than killing yourself second by excruciating second.”

  Words escaped Bree.

  “I know, I talk too much.” Jacquie gestured in surrender. “I’ll slink back to my desk and will keep my head down for the rest of my life.”

  Bree grasped her wrist. “While you’re there, order some chocolate and merlot then join me in here. As we gorge, I do need to talk.”

  Lucius reclined on his miles-long sofa, Tav several feet away in the middle, Cody even farther at the other end, a football game in progress on the eighty-eight-inch TV.

  So far, the plays were lousy.

  The guys thought so too, though they didn’t say. The beers they’d already drunk spoke for them.

  Tav pushed to his feet. “I’m getting another brew. Anybody else want one?”

  Lucius gestured him down. “Unless you’re planning a sleepover here after the game, you better eat before drinking anything else.”

  Cody finished the popco
rn. “He did, hogging the chips. I filled up on this.” He lifted the empty bowl. “I’ll take another bottle.”

  The buzzer for Lucius’s outside gate sounded. “Looks like our pizza is here. Have some, please. I don’t want you guys barfing on my stuff.” He lifted the remote intercom to his mouth. “Yeah?”

  “Your order from Ristioni, sir.”

  Lucius buzzed the guy in. Given the distance separating the gate from the front door, he had time to nurse his beer before knocks sounded.

  He padded to the entrance, swung in the door, and stopped pulling out bills for a tip.

  Bree lifted her face to his, three large pizza boxes in her hands, the delivery guy nowhere in sight. Remorse filled her eyes, along with need. “I was wrong.”

  She’d taken a huge risk coming here, the least of which involved Lucius having a date inside, naked and ready to ride him while he did the same to her. Since Tav and Cody’s vehicles were also in the driveway, they might have had women here too.

  The notion didn’t stop Bree. Knowing how much the guys enjoyed watching the 49ers play football, she figured they’d be watching the game and offered the delivery guy two hundred bucks if he’d announce the food was here then beat it.

  He gave her no lip.

  Lucius stared as he might when seeing a ghost.

  Since he didn’t speak, she had to, hoping it wasn’t too late. Jacquie had assured her it wasn’t, but what did she know? “I’m also sorry for—”

  He tugged her inside and kissed her.

  Ambrosia couldn’t match his taste. The boxes dropped to the floor.

  “What in the hell was—” Tav’s voice and footfalls halted. “Bree?”

  Feet pounded the floor, someone running. “Did you say—” Cody stopped.

  Lucius eased his mouth from hers and spoke to the guys. “She was wrong and she’s sorry.”

  Tav rushed to her.

  Cody yanked him back. “Sorry for what exactly?”

  Elbowing Cody, Tav muttered, “Who the fuck cares?”

  “You all should.” She pleaded as she never had. “I’m begging you to forgive me. I shouldn’t have reacted as I did. I was scared. I’ve never… I wanted to… I should have…”