Control Us (Next Generation Book 1)

by J. M. Walker

  I nodded. “I got you.”

  “Now.” Stone clapped my shoulder. “The real question is, what are you willing to do to get Luna back?”

  Everything.

  ***

  (Luna)

  After getting off work late, I made my way home and crawled into bed. Gigi was throwing another party, but I just wanted to be alone. I wasn’t in the mood to be social. Not that I ever socialized really before. The parties were her thing.

  I hadn’t seen Zach in almost a month, and I needed to talk to him. About us, about our future and what the hell we were doing. I refused to believe that it was over between us because no matter what happened, we would always be in each other’s lives.

  My thoughts were scattered, all over the place as I tried pushing Zach out of my head. Maybe I should have joined the girls for a drink and tried to socialize but not hearing from Zach, threw me off.

  I had asked my mom and Jay if I could work as much as possible at the tattoo shop and I also spent a lot of time at the center. Between both places, I was able to distract myself from thoughts of him. But now that I was home and curled up in bed, my thoughts traveled back to him. His touch. His kisses. His sweet and sometimes dirty words. The way he looked at me like I was the most beautiful woman in the world. Like I was all that mattered. Like I was his .

  So many times, during the past few days, I had picked up the phone to call him or even send him a text, but I couldn’t.

  Meadow told me to wait for him to come to me.

  Gigi said she had crappy experience with guys, so her advice wouldn’t help.

  Piper had fallen into herself and we didn’t know why.

  No one said whether they heard from Zach or not. If they did, they never told me. The only time I heard anything was when Ashton told me they had talked, and Zach had apologized for hitting him.

  My heart felt lighter then, but it still didn’t help the fact that I never saw him or talked to him myself.

  A commotion sounded outside my door, but I couldn’t be bothered to go see what was going on. I just didn’t care anymore.

  Opening my eyes, I glanced at the clock and saw that it was only midnight. The party was in full swing outside. Muffled voices could be heard while the low beat of the music thrummed in the background.

  I could usually ignore the parties and sleep through them but tonight was not one of those times. Rolling over onto my back, I caught a shadow move out of the corner of my eye. I jumped, shooting up in bed.

  The shadow came closer, revealing…

  “Zach?” I placed my hand on my chest, easing my racing heart. “You scared the shit out of me.”

  “Sorry.” He gave me a small smile.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, my body coming alive at the mere intensity rolling off of him.

  “I…” He started pacing. “I know I shouldn’t be here. But I can’t wait anymore. I’m sorry for everything. I can’t work. I can’t sleep. I can’t even fucking think straight.” He stopped and turned toward me. “I need you.”

  “You hurt me, Zach. You broke my heart.”

  He looked away. “I know. I’ll never forgive myself for what I put you through.”

  I moved to the edge of the bed, swinging my legs over the side. “Come here,” I said, holding my arms out.

  He rushed toward me but much to my surprise, he dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around my waist.

  My chest tightened.

  Zach placed his head on my lap, squeezing me with everything in him. Everything that made up us. “I’m so sorry. I tried staying away. I know you need space, but I can’t do it anymore. I can’t go on and not have you by my side. And I’m sorry for pushing you away. I know you won’t hurt me. I know that but I’m scared, Luna.”

  “You thought I needed space?” I asked, running my fingers over the back of his head.

  He looked up at me. “I was giving you time. So I threw myself into my work and the gym. The next thing I knew, three weeks had come and gone.”

  “Oh, Zach, I actually thought…I just…” I shook my head. “I don’t know what I thought. But I’ve tried calling you and stopped myself. Because I was giving you time too. I thought it was over for good. And you have nothing to be scared of. I won’t hurt you. Ever.”

  “I know that now, but I hurt you instead.” Zach grabbed my hands and pulled me off the bed and onto his lap. “I’m sorry. I don’t expect you to forgive me right away, but I am truly sorry. I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for it. For what I did. For pushing you away and running to Clara. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m…”

  I cupped his nape, pulling him against me. “I know nothing happened and I’m sorry you felt the need to push me away.”

  “Don’t.” He leaned his forehead against mine. “Don’t ever apologize to me. You did nothing wrong. At all. It’s all me.

  “I was giving you time,” I whispered, reveling in the fact that he was finally back in my arms.

  “I never need time when it comes to you, Luna.” He inhaled a shaky breath. “I wanted to come by sooner but in all honesty, I was scared. I pushed you away and I thought you would do the same to me. I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it if that happened. So that’s why I stayed away.”

  “You ever feel like running again, you come to me. Do you hear me?”

  He looked away.

  “No.” I cupped his jaw, forcing him to look at me. “I asked you a question.”

  “Yeah, I hear you, Moonbeam,” he said, his voice low.

  “Good. I’m glad. But what do we do now? Where do we go from here, Zach? You broke my heart. Things got bad and you shoved me away and went to the arms of another woman.”

  His body stiffened. “I’m sorry. I know I keep saying that but it’s the truth. I will make this up to you. I promise I will.”

  “You can’t go to another woman if we have a fight.” I leaned down, making eye contact with him. “You know that right?”

  He nodded. “I know, baby. I know. I don’t deserve your forgiveness but I’m on my knees, begging for it anyway.”

  My chest tightened. “What made you come by? What else gave you that push?”

  “Your father.”

  I leaned back. “Really?”

  Zach nodded. “I talked to him. He’s still not one-hundred percent on board but he’s better.”

  A breath I didn’t realize I had been holding, left me. “So, what do we do now? Where do we go from here?”

  “I want you, Luna.” He ran his hand up and down my arm. “But I understand…I get it if I’m too much for you.”

  “No.” I cupped his face with both hands. “I love you. That never went away just because you’re jealous and possessive. But I am concerned that your anger is going to control you.” I ran my fingers through his hair, itching to kiss him. To taste his breath on my tongue but I knew I needed to control myself. I released his face and leaned against the edge of my bed.

  “That’s one reason why I started working out more,” he told me. “It helps with my moods. I’m going to start seeing a psychologist that my parents recommended. But I never should have assumed you fucked Ashton. I’m sorry for that. And I’m sorry for elbowing you.” He brushed his thumb along the bridge of my nose. “Does it hurt anymore?”

  “It’s better,” I whispered, my skin tingling from the soft touch.

  “Good.” He placed a soft peck on the tip of my nose. “I love you, Luna. I love you so fucking much.”

  My breath hitched. “I’m glad you’re going to be getting the help you need but can we move on from this?”

  “I’m hoping we can.” His eyes searched my face.

  “Good.” I swallowed hard. “Because there’s something I need to tell you.”

  Zach stiffened.

  “It’s nothing bad. Or I don’t think it is. Honestly, I’m not really sure but…” I inhaled a sharp breath. “I’m pregnant.”

  ***

  (Zach)

  Before
Luna, I never actually wanted kids. I thought I wasn’t good enough for a woman, let alone raising children as well. But as soon as Luna said those two words, everything that had happened in my life, came crashing down around me. It was like all the shit I had been through as a kid, the fights I had with my parents growing up, the stresses of work, none of it mattered anymore. All because Luna was carrying my child.

  “You’re pregnant,” I repeated slowly. “You have my baby in your belly, Moonbeam?”

  She nodded, giving me a soft smile. She grabbed my hand, placing it on her lower stomach. “Not too far along yet though. I missed my period and thought it was stress related, so I thought nothing of it. But then I started doing the math, took a pregnancy test and it came back positive.”

  “Holy shit.” I stared in awe at my hand splayed on Luna’s stomach. “I…How far along?”

  “Just over a month. I didn’t think symptoms could happen so quickly, but I Googled, and they can. Everyone is different.” She shrugged. “I haven’t told anyone though. Just you.”

  That confession stirred something feral inside of me. Clearing my throat, I lifted the hem of her tank top and rested my hand against her bare stomach. “Did you go to the doctor’s by yourself?”

  She nodded, covering my hand. “Yeah. They had me do a blood test to confirm. I didn’t want to make a big deal of it. We need to tell our parents but right now, I just want to keep this between us. At least for a little bit.”

  I pushed out from under her and stood. Holding out my hand, I waited.

  Luna placed her fingers in mine, letting me help her to her feet.

  Dropping to my knees, I wrapped my arms around her, lifted her shirt, and placed soft pecks on her stomach. “I love you. I don’t even know you yet and already I am so in love with you.”

  Luna’s breath hitched but I only continued.

  “I broke your mommy’s heart and I will spend the rest of my life making it up to her. You will realize that being in this world is hard. You will probably want to stay in your mommy’s belly forever, but you can’t, okay? I need to meet you. I need to show you that even though life is difficult, you will own it. You will also make mistakes but that’s okay. Just make up for them and learn from them. Own them, little one.” God, I never thought I would love something as much as Luna. And I hadn’t even met our baby yet.

  I looked up, finding Luna wiping under her eyes.

  “I didn’t mean to make you cry,” I said, rising to my feet.

  She shook her head, her chin wobbling. Turning away from me, she crawled onto the bed.

  Before I had a chance to ask her what was wrong, she turned back around and pulled me against her. Crushing her mouth to mine, she ran her hands through my hair to the back of my head.

  I sighed, breathing her in and taking everything she had to offer me. But before we could take it any further, I released her. “As much as I would love to continue this, you need rest.”

  She nodded, a yawn trembling through her. “Spend the night with me?”

  “You don’t even have to ask.” I kissed her once again and waited for her to lay down before sliding onto the bed beside her.

  “You don’t have to stay dressed,” she said, her eyes fluttering closed.

  I chuckled, kissing the side of her neck. “Sleep, Moonbeam. Everything else can wait.”

  “Okay,” she whispered, her breathing evening out.

  I pulled the blankets up and over us, holding her in my arms.

  The heavy weight that had been put on my shoulders as a small boy, was suddenly lifted.

  I made a promise to myself that night. I would be the best man Luna could ever hope for and I would be the best damn father our baby could ever have. They would want for nothing.

  The love Stone had for his daughter almost cost us our relationship but even someone like him could admit when he was wrong. I earned more respect for him that night and I had meant what I told him.

  I would do everything I could to keep Luna.

  I finally realized that I was worthy of her. Of having a good career. Of being happy. With life. With our family. With friends. And most of all, with Luna.

  The voices weren’t always silent but now with Luna and our child, they merely whispered instead of shouting.

  With my family and doctor, I was confident I could overcome them.

  Luna

  STARING AT OUR PARENTS, I had to bite back a laugh. Four pairs of eyes. Four sets of grim expressions. Four minds probably wondering what the hell was going on.

  “Did you threaten my son again?” Brogan asked.

  Stone grunted but didn’t respond.

  “Did he?” she asked Zach.

  “No, Mama,” he said, shaking his head.

  “Good.” She sat forward. “Not that I’m not happy to see the both of you…well…I need to know what’s going on.”

  I laughed then, unable to hold it in anymore.

  I glanced up at Zach and nodded. Both of us turned to our parents and said…

  “We’re pregnant.”

  “Do you think they’re happy?” I asked Zach later that night in bed.

  “I do.” He ran a finger down the side of my body. “I think they’re happy that we’re back together. That we’re giving them their first grandchild and that we’re…”

  “What?” I asked, resting my head on my arms.

  “Happy.” He rolled over onto his stomach, watching me.

  “What?” My cheeks burned under the scrutiny.

  “You’re beautiful.” He lifted his head and bent his elbow, resting his head on his hand.

  I cupped his cheek, placing a soft peck on his mouth. “I love you.”

  He gently pushed me onto my back. “Let me show you again how much I love you.”

  Zach made good on his promise for the next hour, showing me over and over again how much he did in fact love me.

  When he had passed out beside me, I slipped out of bed and threw on a robe. After we told our parents that I was pregnant, Zach had taken me to his condo in the city. It was the first time I was ever there, but I could understand why just the same. The place was modern but cold. Even though Zach lived there, it didn’t feel like home to me. Not yet. It needed some flowers and a pop of color here and there.

  But first, it needed a little something on the fridge.

  Rummaging through the drawers, I finally found Scotch Tape. Ripping off a piece, I taped the picture in my hand against the freezer door.

  Warm arms enveloped me suddenly, pulling me back against a hard body.

  I grinned. “What do you think?”

  Zach kissed my neck. “It’s perfect,” he mumbled against my throat.

  I laughed, pushing away from him. “I mean about the picture.”

  “It’s…” He went to the fridge, running his thumb over the black and white picture. “It’s perfect too.”

  My eyes welled. “It’s ours.”

  He looked down at me, his eyes shining. “He or she, is definitely ours.”

  We stood like that for a while. Looking at the ultrasound picture of our baby and just dreaming and hoping that we could give them the life that they deserved.

  And more.

  THE END

  Zach

  THE MOMENT I STEPPED inside the house, I was hit with a scent that smelled absolutely delicious. My mouth watered. My stomach rumbled, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast that morning.

  Throwing my keys into the dish sitting on top of the small table that stood by the wall, I loosened the tie around my neck.

  The farther I went into the house, the more intense the scent became. It smelled of steak, mashed potatoes, and other types of food I couldn’t quite make out.

  “Zach?” Luna called from the kitchen. “I’m in here.”

  Everything inside of me stirred the closer I got to my wife.

  Once I stood outside the entrance to the kitchen, I stared at her.

  She was humming to herself,
holding our son in her arms and flipping through a magazine. Her hair was a mess on top of her head. My gray sweatpants sat low on her hips with a black tank top tucked into them.

  Women said that gray sweat pants were like an aphrodisiac and I never understood why. But seeing my wife wearing mine? Yup. I got it now.

  Leaning against the wall, I crossed my arms under my chest and just watched her.

  “I can feel you staring,” she said, looking over her shoulder and giving me one of those wide smiles of hers. A smile that was meant for only me. A smile that had taken quite awhile for me to put on her face.

  “I was enjoying watching you,” I told her, letting my eyes roam down the length of her.

  She laughed, the sound low and husky. She came toward me, hugging our son, Benjamin, against her chest. “How was your day?”

  “Better now.” I pinched her chin, brushing my lips along hers before giving her soft peck.

  “You say that every day,” she whispered.

  I took Benjamin from her, hugging him against me. “Because it’s true.” I kissed our son’s head. “Isn’t it?” I asked him.

  He cooed, slapping his chubby little hand against my cheek.

  I chuckled, my heart swelling as I stared into our baby boy’s dark eyes; eyes that mirrored my own. The only difference was his didn’t hold years of pain, and I was thankful for that.

  He was named after my uncle who passed away years ago. I remembered when we told my mother what we were naming him. She cried, hugged both of us and cried some more, but said that he would have been honored.

  “You good?”

  I met Luna’s eyes then. Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, I pulled her against me. “I am now, baby. I promise.”

  “Okay.” She kissed my cheek and pulled away from me. “Supper is almost done. Oh, and I know we haven’t had any time alone really since he was born. So my parents have offered to take him this weekend. If you wanted.”