Rockstar Romance Boxed Set (12 Book Bundle New Adult BBW)

by Emme Rollins

  I fought to draw air into my lungs as I felt the sharp ache of betrayal piercing my heart. Oh, I had been such a fool. So naïve. My dreams, my fantasies were all pulverized before me in one harsh moment of shocking discovery. I choked down the sob that threatened to bubble up out of my throat. I hadn't been able to contain my eager anticipation when I had entered the hotel room. Now, I would exit a crushed and battered soul.

  I backed away, not able to bear the sight any longer. Blood was ringing in my ears as I stumbled out of the suite. Alex had cheated on me. With Cassie.

  Working on only pure instincts, I managed to make it back to the rental car. I started driving. I drove east for hours. My brain was numb, probably with sheer shock. Somehow I drove the entire night through, even after working the full day before. I got home before nine in the morning and then stumbled up to my bed. I slept for hours, but could only delay my heartbreak for so long. When it hit, it hit hard. Nothing could stop the wracking sobs shaking my body.

  I was in pretty bad shape when I heard the knock on my bedroom door. "Go away, Jen. I'm not in the mood."

  "Evie, it's me Melissa. I was so worried about you! What's going on?"

  I groaned as I got up to unlock the door.

  Melissa took one look at me. "Oh God! What happened?"

  I shook my head, holding back tears, not trusting myself to speak.

  She sat on my bed with me. "Tommy texted me this morning and said you never showed up last night. I've been calling and texting you all day. It's a good thing your roommate came home and let me in, I was about to call the cops."

  I smiled weakly. That's the last thing I needed - the cops breaking down my door.

  Melissa grabbed my hand. "Did you go to Ohio? I saw a rental car with Ohio plates parked down there."

  I nodded and took a deep shaky breath. "Oh, Melissa, I walked in on him fucking another girl." My voice broke and my body started shuddering with sobs. How I had more tears to cry, I didn't know.

  Melissa's face told me all I needed to know. It was over. There was no salvaging this relationship from the depths. As much as I wanted to ignore it, it wouldn't go away. I may have just spent hours secretly trying to justify Alex's behavior to myself, but there was no way to rationalize out of this one. My dreams of being with Alex were over. The realization and the finality of it all shook my body to the core.

  Chapter Eleven

  The weeks dragged on as I went about my business, feeling like a mere shell of the person that I once was. I hauled myself to work and back home. I forced myself to eat and maintain my appearance. But that was about the extent of what I could manage.

  The first few days after I discovered that Alex was with another woman, I was in a hazy denial of shock and numbness even though I knew it was over. I listened to his phone messages and texts over and over, searching for some clue, some magic words that would make it all go away.

  Before Alex found out that I knew, the messages were normal.

  Hey Lena. I guessed we missed each other last night. Call or text when you can.

  Hey, we're spending the day in Ohio today. Boring. We hit the road tonight. Heading to Michigan. Wish you were here. Miss you.

  I thought you'd be home from work by now? No show tonight. Call me.

  At some point, Melissa must have told Tommy what happened. Alex had found out that he had been busted. I could hear the sadness and desperation in Alex's voice. But nothing he said could make it all go away.

  Baby, I know I fucked up real bad. I'm so sorry. Please, let's just talk about this. There was a long silent pause. Lena, I love you. I just need to hear your voice again.

  Lena, please don't give up on us. What can I do to make this better? I'd do anything to show you how much I love you. Please give me another chance.

  As the days rolled by, each new message seemed to get more hopeless than the last. Eventually, Alex stopped leaving messages for me. I had begun deleting the messages before reading or listening to them because they just renewed the pain all over again. Still, my heart sunk a little further into despair when they stopped coming altogether. I even had to stop listening to the radio, because hearing a Cold Fusion song would have me crying like a baby.

  The only thing I couldn't bring myself to erase was our picture together. I think I knew that once I erased that picture, there would be no turning back for my heart. Alex would be dead and gone to me. And that thought spiraled me into panic.

  Over the weeks, I had heard snippets of news about Alex through Melissa. She was reluctant to tell me anything because it always left me in tears, but always a glutton for punishment, I begged her for any news.

  She had texted back and forth with Tommy. According to Tommy, Alex sounded just as miserable as I felt, which gave me some small consolation. Tommy was adamant that Alex had never cheated on me before, and that the horrifying night I had walked in on him had been a terrible drunken mistake. It was a mistake that I was paying for over and over with my broken heart.

  I was at work when I got the confirmation e-mail for the flight I had booked to Houston. My head dropped to my arms as I started to cry.

  That's how Melissa found me when she stopped by cubicle. "Evie, are you okay?"

  I lifted my head and pointed to the e-mail. "Tell me it would be a big mistake for me to go."

  Melissa raised an eyebrow. "You're thinking of going?"

  I wiped at the tears on my cheeks. "I don’t know anymore. I'm so confused. I think I need some kind of closure. You should talk me out of it. It's insane." I looked at her pleadingly.

  She sank into my extra chair. "Okay. You know - once a cheater, always a cheater. And you deserve better than that."

  I nodded. "You're right. How could I ever trust him again?"

  She agreed. "You couldn't. And he's not in an easy situation to remain faithful. I'm not excusing his behavior, just making sure you know the score."

  I sighed heavily. "Yeah. He's a fucking rock star."

  We both laughed. Melissa looked at me. "Oh, Evie. You're going to go, aren't you?"

  I closed my eyes. "Yeah. I think so. I still love him, despite all that he's done."

  She seemed to understand. "Are you going to let him know that you're coming to see him?"

  "I should after the last disaster, but I think I'll just show up. I'm really scared though. Will you come with me?" My stomach was churning with nerves, doubting the wisdom of my decision.

  "I don’t think so." She shook her head. "You two need to figure this thing out on your own. And I'd just be in the way. As much as I'd like to go down there and kick Tommy's ass, I don’t think it would be a good idea. But you could call me anytime you needed to talk."

  I was disappointed, but I understood. I really did need to do this on my own. "I have to figure out if I can give Alex another chance. And if I can accept his whole lifestyle. Am I a weak person for wanting him so badly that I'd overlook his cheating?"

  Melissa laughed. "Instead of weak, maybe you’d be a strong person for forgiving him? Maybe you'd be really brave to risk your heart again? Maybe you're just insane."

  She always made me feel better. "I think you finally figured me out. I know I'm crazy. Thanks Melissa, for listening to all my crap. I guess I better start packing."

  ***

  Despite the hot humid air in the Houston Center, I shivered as the thousands of people packed around me started screaming in anticipation. I had paid a hefty price to sit in decent seats at the center, so that I could see Alex before he knew I was in town. I was still pretty mixed up about what I was doing.

  The spotlights flashed as Tommy took stage and banged on his drums for a few moments, to the delight of the fans. Next Nick came out, looking as cool and mysterious as ever. The girls around me were screaming out Nick's name as he picked up his bass guitar. I held my breath in anticipation. My heart was beating thunderously in my chest.

  Alex came out on stage and picked up his guitar, playing a few riffs. The crowd was cheering wildly, b
ut I blocked it all out. My eyes devoured Alex, watching his every move, searching his every expression. My heart ached at how good he looked - so confident and sexy on stage.

  Tyler came out and greeted the crowd to wild cheers, but my eyes never left Alex. He strummed a few chords and the crowd went crazy as it recognized the popular song. I was jostled by enthusiastic fans around me while they danced to the music as the band jammed to the hit song.

  The first song wasn't even over when I realized I had the answer I had been searching for when I decided to come watch him perform. My breath caught as I realized how achingly beautiful he was on stage and I knew I needed to give him another chance. I didn't want to give up on our love so easily. Maybe I could live without him. But I didn't want to.

  The set was flying by and I was starting to get more and more nervous with the thought of seeing him. What if he had given up on us? Now that I had decided I wanted to repair our relationship, terrifying doubts and insecurities started to assail me. What if he had already moved on to someone else? I started to sweat, feeling slightly nauseous. I fanned myself as the crowd pushed against me.

  The song ended to loud cheers. Tyler approached the microphone and worked the enthusiastic crowd. "It's great to be home, Houston."

  When the applause settled down, Tyler continued, "Ya'll are going to recognize this next tune, even if it isn't one of ours. Alex is missing his girl tonight, so this one goes out to Lena, wherever she is tonight."

  Alex moved to his microphone and started strumming his guitar. It took me a few moments to recognize the song, "Here Without You" by 3 Doors Down. Alex began singing lead as he played guitar. The haunting lyrics pierced me straight to my soul. I could hear the emotion in Alex's voice, and amazingly, even the emotion in his guitar playing.

  Tears stung my eyes as I watched him pour his heart out on the stage. Any doubts I had about his love for me, any fears that he had moved on without me, all faded away. If I could have made it up onto the stage and jumped him, I probably would have. Instead, I absorbed the quintessential moment as everything fell into place for me.

  I finally took a breath when the song ended. I watched Alex step back from the microphone and walk to the back of the stage. He took a drink of something, as he seemed to compose himself.

  Tyler stepped up to the mic again. "Thanks so much Houston. We've had a great time here tonight. We're gonna close tonight with 'Here To Stay'."

  The band started playing their last song. I didn't stay to listen; I was already trying to make my way through the tight crowd towards the left side of the stage where Alex was playing.

  I elbowed and squeezed my way halfway to the stage before the song ended and the band walked off the stage. After another five minutes of work, I finally made my way to the side of the huge crowd. Now, where the hell was I going and how was I going to get backstage?

  It took me at least ten minutes of wandering around to figure out the layout. It was much more complicated than the outdoor amphitheater set-ups where I had been backstage before. I slipped through a few chained off areas and remembered Melissa's advice, to act like I belonged.

  It took about thirty seconds to get stopped by a security guard. "You can't go back there, miss."

  Oh shit, now what? "You have to let me back there. I need to see Alex."

  He didn't even blink an eye. "That's what they all say."

  "But, I'm his girlfriend!" I tried to sound authoritative, but it didn't seem to work.

  "Sure you are. Then why didn't your boyfriend give you a pass?" He sounded so smug.

  I smiled sweetly. "Because I'm trying to surprise him. I came all the way from New Jersey to surprise him."

  He actually smirked. "That's a very inventive story. Haven't heard that one before."

  I was wasting so much time. I needed to get to Alex before he left. "Please! Oh God, what if I show you my boobs?"

  "I wouldn't mind that, but its still not going to get you backstage." He checked his wristwatch, like he was bored with me.

  He was maddening. God, I needed Melissa right now.

  I tried again. "What if I told you that my car keys were back there and I was feeling sick and I needed my car keys to get home?"

  He rolled his eyes. "You girls are all crazy."

  I felt like screaming. "Can you at least tell me where they're going to party after the show?"

  He shook his head. "No. And if you don't leave, I'm going to have to get you escorted off the property. And I really don't want to have to do that."

  I was panicking. I really hadn't thought this through very well. I backed away from the guard. I moved far enough away so that I was out of his sight and sat down on the ground. I pulled out my phone and swallowed down my mounting nerves. I called Alex. No answer. I waited a few minutes and tried again. Straight to voicemail. What if he didn't even have his phone with him? What if…

  I took a deep breath and texted Melissa.

  Lena: Are you there? I need your help!!!!

  Melissa: What's going on?

  Lena: I'm at the show and I can't get backstage. What am I going to do? I'm freaking out

  Melissa: Calm down

  Lena: What if I miss him? What if I don't see him?

  Melissa: Did you call him?

  Lena: He's not answering

  Melissa: Did you try talking to the guard? To let you backstage?

  Lena: He won't budge

  Melissa: Did you show some skin?

  Lena: Nothing is working. Help!

  Melissa: Ok, let me see if I can get through to Tommy. Give me a couple of minutes…

  It felt like hours that I sat there staring at the phone. Finally, a new message from Melissa came through.

  Melissa: Got him! He's coming to find you. Hang out near the guard. Good luck!!

  Lena: OMG thank you! UR the best!!

  I stood up and warily approached the guard.

  He looked annoyed. "You again? Look miss -"

  I held up my hand. "I'm not going to say anything. I'm just going to wait here for my friend. He's in the band. He's coming to get me."

  The guard rolled his eyes again.

  I stood there for at least ten minutes waiting for Tommy, getting more and more nervous. My imagination was running away with me - maybe Alex found out I was here and didn't want to see me. Maybe Tommy got distracted and forgot about me. The security guard watched my nervous pacing as the time ticked away.

  "Evie-Lena." Tommy sauntered over and threw his arm around me. "I'm happy to see you. Alex's been a fucking mess." He turned to the guard, "She's with me."

  After all his smugness, the guard merely shrugged and let me pass.

  Tommy led me through the back halls. I could hear the sound of partying, as we got closer to the band's dressing room.

  My footsteps faltered as we approached the door. "I'm really nervous about this."

  Tommy stopped and turned toward me. "Are you here to dump him for good or to try to work things out?"

  "I'm not sure yet." I really didn't want to discuss the situation with Tommy. But dumping Alex was the last thing that I wanted.

  My eyes immediately scanned the room for Alex as we entered. I stood in the doorway searching for him, but he wasn't there. Disappointed, I took a deep breath. Nick spotted me and then elbowed Tyler.

  After a long pause, Tyler walked over to talk to me. "Alex should be back in a few. He found a ride home tonight, so he went to the bus to pack his bags. He didn't know you were coming, I take it?"

  "No, he didn't. I'm just glad I got here before he left."

  Tyler took a gulp of his beer. "You know, Alex is really fucked up about all this…"

  My eyebrow rose. "So I've heard. By the way, Tyler, I'm not feeling all that great myself."

  Tyler raised his hand, "Sorry. I should just stay out of it. How about I get you a drink?"

  A drink was exactly what I needed. "Make it a strong one."

  I wasn't standing alone for more than 30 seconds when Tommy c
ame over. "I'm really sorry about that night. I should have stopped his drinking earlier, but he was being such a dick. He wasn't listening to anything. But he was really drunk when I dropped him off at his room - I thought he was passed out for good. If I had thought - "

  "Wait. You dropped him off in his room? And he was alone? Cassie wasn't with him?" Somehow that seemed odd.

  Tommy's mouth dropped open. "Cassie? It was fucking Cassie he was with? Fuck Lena. Cassie's been all over him forever and he's never wanted anything to do with her. It doesn't make any sense. He must have been too drunk to know what he was doing."

  How had Cassie wormed her way into Alex's bed? "Alex never told you it was Cassie?"

  Tommy shook his head. "He didn't want to talk about it much when you stopped talking to him. He never mentioned the girl was Cassie."

  Tyler came back with my drink and I started sipping right away. I really needed to talk to Alex.

  The two guys became occupied with the new girl who had come over and started flirting with them. I scanned the room and spotted Cassie at the far end talking to some guy, but definitely keeping an eye on me.

  It was time. I crossed the room to confront her.

  She gave me a bored look. "Wow you're back for more abuse? Alex is over you, babe. You should run back to New Jersey before you make a fool out of yourself again. And like I warned you, he always comes back to me in the end. And he did once again."

  My eyes narrowed. "I know Alex doesn't want to be with you."

  She laughed. "Well, you saw us in Ohio together. I would have thought that would be enough proof to scare you off for good."

  Alcohol burned in my throat as I took a big gulp. "How did you know I was in Ohio?"